Welcome to unethical advice with Azula~! This thread is for all the advice you need on the nasty things you’re too...

Welcome to unethical advice with Azula~! This thread is for all the advice you need on the nasty things you’re too scared to ask about, or attempt on your own! Want advice on how to commit burglaries and get away with it? Want to know how to properly commit suicide? Want to murder an ex without going to jail? Need to conduct psychological warfare against an innocent coworker? Well lay it on me. I have police and security training and a solid knowledge of forensics, as well as being a former criminal that was never caught.

Also includes
>No stuttering
>No Asian traps
>No Alice orbiters

Other urls found in this thread:

thebarchive.com/data/b/image/1475/67/1475677536919.jpg
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

This is relevant to my interests
Any tips for shoplifting without getting caught?

Close to trips.
What may this be?

bump for interest

How to dress to leave as little evidence on a crime scene as possible? Lets say its a silent simple breaking and entering situation with little odds to get cut or lose anything on you

I was thinking about getting back at a friend of mine for being a dick and found out about this explosive called touch powder, it's a dust-like tjing that blows up when touched, i was wondering how much i'd risk getting caught if i decided to put some of it on it's doorknob to make him lose a couple of fingers

how 2 destroy all niggers

Where do I buy his suit?

how do i abduct and keep a woman in my house for years and force her to bear my children without getting caught as i am forever alone

Best idea is to always open up the merch and pull it out if you can. Look for blind spots in the camera coverage, but do it out of your periphery.
hey remmy
Wear a bandana, and cap, gloves and the usual clothes and you should be good. Thats safe mode, depending on the security set up you may not even need the bandana.
Well can you disseminate it without touching anything and leaving car tread pints in or around the area? If so then you could do it. Try not to kill yourself though saon

>Friend
You're a really, really bad friend, lmao.

Ah I am probably on a watch list for helping you with this but yeah, not too much of a risk as long as its wet, that's why they say to make it in a paste. Nitrogen triiodide

Support the war on drugs

Call moon man

Id recommend using a gun and wire/rope. Chloroform doesnt work at all like it is portrayed, and hitting them unconscious risks permanent damage.

nice trips

What are the usual and most common weak points of an avarage american family house, those which are worth to rob

Where can I find people that don't bore the fuck out of me?

Stick around.

You don't understand!! I need his suit!

Masters bathroom could contain jewelry drawers

My baby wont stop crying, how can i get him to stop?

ooo
okay~

Gaming consoles in livingrooms. So many people forget to lock their back doors.

Punt him into traffic

The most common weak points are almost always doors. Windows can be used, but doors are preferable. If theres a fenced in backyard then thats perfect. You want to obviously eliminate any chance of a passerby seeing you.
Right here ofc dear
Rock him and play with him, alternatively hit his head on a counter corner

Troll suicide help forums and convince a girl you are everything they need to feeel happy. Its not that hard to do and hey they were gonna kill themselves anyways

Hope so~
I've become bored with most of my friends
people become boring so quickly

Most people are deluded self centered shits. What bored you about them?

Nice trips, and stick around im sure we can have lots of fun!

dubs*

The counter top worked wonders, all quiet. He's asleep now. Thank you!

weak points are doors? what what a brilliant assessment of how to enter a home. Use the door. WHY DIDN"T I THINK OF THAT?!

More general, but IyO, how many serial killers you think are active and/or have never been caught or even caught on to. Randomized travel patterns with obscure targeting parameters seem a pretty solid route, while taking nominal stealthy precautions.

Obviously not fucking about with the cops/attention/media in any way would be important, so don't do it for acknowledgment.

Once you get to know a person's personality and what makes them tick then very few people are still interesting. Sometimes its fun to start drama but other than that most people bore me.

Only about 3-4 people haven't bored me yet.
dubs but yeah~

Hope those are usually not locked, never picked locks before

>filename
Is that what I think it is
Did that prick take a screenshot and claims credit for the entire image

If somebody sees you I guess you gotta abandon.

No need to be rude, now.

Seems like you aren't surrounding yourself with mentally stimulating people. Good friends will always challenge you

amen to that shit

I'm intrigued

I'll stick around and see what's up

Fuck man i dont know i just grab shit off google

Well user, I mean its either doors or windows, you dont expect to climb down the chimney do you?
I'd venture to say atleast a few hundred. If you do things across jurisdictions your likelihood of getting caught goers down. In my time I pulled off atleast 30 burglaries, mostly in different areas with small police departments, and did not get linked to any of them.
Generally your best bet, since it will at the very least lead to them calling the police for you acting suspicious.
thanks user!

Hi OP. Lets say I wanted to live expense free for awhile. Lets say i felt like being homeless while working. How can I best get away with stealing what I need? I feel like most grocery stores i can walk in grab what i want and walk out. How about good places to find shelter? Basically how do i go about being a total leach on society while piling my own wages up by not spending on any essentiels? Thanks in advance and nice thread OP.

I feel like this would take a lot of math and I don't feel like being assed, but..
211,000 unsolved murders in the US alone since 1980. Humans are barbaric fucking animals and those who are good at killing will do so.

So uh.. be careful in the park at night.

mmm
most people aren't interesting :p
eh
maybe I've just become broken
~

Actually user, grocery stores are some of the most well protected when it comes to security. Your chances of getting snagged there are dramatically higher than most retail stores. I have seen many food shop lifters get V&
As for part two, where do you live? Where I live there are neighborhoods with abandoned houses that are in reasonable shape.

Oh. Almost.

How to deal with animals without poisoning them, and alarm.

Is breaking into unlocked cars worth it? like is the profit more then the risk?

>dont steal from target. Their loss prevention is on another level
>lots of overpasses in parks and nature trails that are undisturbed at night
>steal stuff and put it into a reusable grocery bag that you walked into the store with visably
>make friends with the night crew at gas stations. They'll usually offer you old food

Yes.

What's up, you...?

Depends on the sitution, will the animal let you approach? If you can hold it? Are you in a position to clean up blood or does it need to be completely clean?
Depends on the area, in a rich area yes, in a poor areas good luck. I was always too impatient with it. It seemed to small. Be careful though, its very exposed.
Well I've actually walked out of target with about 250 dollars worth of stuff before. It depends on how good you are and how you are dressed. If you look well dressed and legit obviously they are less likely to notice you.

I'm pretty bored~

burglary/lock picking tips?
How to leave little to no evidence behind?
proper disposal of evidence? (where would you look for it from police training)

Can someone get that annoying faggot rem to fuck off the server again? What a fucking loser

How to purchase several thousand dollars worth of drugs, weapons, slaves, etc. from criminals? Like, the specifics of how the trade should go down, so that you don't get a bullet the back or caught in a sting.

Seems to be very situational. You could tell a few of your stories, whats the worst that ever happened?

You kinda piss me off
Sod off cur

your edge is showing, esdeath

don't make me post 'em

ignore him and move on

Screw you :p

Thinking I might have chosen a bad time tbh

Personally I never picked locked due to there almost always being easier ways to get in. I have a number of tips for evidence reduction

>EVERYTHING that goes in with you MUST leave with you. If you cant remember it all make a checklist.
>Wear Gloves at all times.
>if you're committing murder dont allow anything to have skin contact and try to get something to prevent hairs from falling out. DNA is a real bitch.
The trick is to find someone you know. While buying illegal goods always carries a risk the only real way is to find a contact through someone you know, or better yet someone you know yourself. If I was you bring something to defend yourself. Gun or Knife. When the police do stings you can tell the rookies easily as they will always try to pressure you to make the sale, but the experienced detectives can play it completely cool. The only real way is to do your homework before hand. Are these guys legit? Have people heard of them? Have they been arrested recently?
will come up on the next post

what is an effective but discreet poison I can use to kill/debilitate someone permanantly? I also want to know how to get away with it. Thanks

Hate to break it to you but, esdeath isn't the only person that finds rem to be an annoying sperg.
I hate that Rev has him around out of pity

ricin

best ways to stay undetected in a public place?

I want to kill myself tonight. What's the best least painful way I need help here I have no money no gun a car but I ca nt drive it. It's a old Mitsubishi gallant. I need to do this tonight

At the end of Avatar, when Azula was chained down and incoherent with rage, I became aroused. She needed to get dicked in that state.

Hanging is a classic. Make sure to tie a good knot.

So a good thing to do is to avoid houses for three reasons.
>the charges are usually more severe
>the chances of you getting shot or killed are higher
>its a lot easier to case a business and scout the place out.

Scouting out a business is always a great thing to do beforehand, if you dont you can wind up like the time I almost got caught.

>it was a summer night
>hunting for good targets
>find a "country market" outside of a small town
>the front windows are all super exposed and visible and all of the doors in the back are metal.
>see one small window thats just big enough for me to climb in.
>break in and rummage around
>from another room I hear a computer voice say "threat detected"
and I hauled ass out of there.

No not ricin. The easiest way would be to concentrate some nicotine. Pure nicotine is extremely toxic. It can be absorbed through the skin however so be careful. I believe there are guides online that show you how to extract it.

The best way to blend into a crowd is to act like you belong there. Like you have an authoritative purpose. If you look like you have a job to do or a goal security will ignore you.
If the vehicle can turn on Id take some benedryl or sleeping meds go into your garage with the car and fall asleep. As mami said hanging is also a good option. Slitting your wrists will not work, nor will pills general. So hanging would be your best option.
agreed

Are there any high buildings in your area? I would suggest jumping off of one that way the pain only lasts like 0.1 sec as you hit the pavement.

Get a long length of rope, tie a noose and securely tie the other end to a bridge truss. Jump with enough slack to snap your neck, and die a badass.

Needs to be atleast 8 stories to guarantee a kill.

You seem to have quite a lively thread if that's what you mean.

>t. Esdeath

Actually I keep asking Rem to come back because they're one of the only waifus with personality. Wonder why you vapid bitches hate them so much..

I said "high" for a reason. But I should've specified the tallness yeah.

It probably is Esdeath
but
then again Esdeath is sorta cute. At least personality wise, haven't seen a picture of him.

You could practice diving at a pool to ensure you land on your head.

proper shoplifting techniques?
snagging something small without getting noticed?

>personality
Literally where?

His sperging out is cute.

We already made one rage sperg leave the server.. was entertaining and we didnt have to baby his feelings for it to happen.

Which server~

Also yeah, sperging is always entertaining

thebarchive.com/data/b/image/1475/67/1475677536919.jpg

>20:34:44
Can I just attach a hose to the exhaust pipe and run it through the window? Garage is full. Tomorrow is my Deathday I set this date a while ago. I also want it to be big thpugh5

...

oh wow lol
very uhhh
wow lol

How do I get my best friend to break up and stay broken up with his girlfriend

how would I avoid police suspecting me for crimes? Looking for miscellaneous tips.

Could always put the car into drive, lay down on the pavement and let it idle over your head... But you're probably too big a pussy for that.

How can I kill myself in a way that will ruin my family forever? I hate them all.

Any advice for online scams?

You know, that one shithole.

How do I fuck kids without getting caught and killed

Here's a few things I learned while doing it
>Bring something to open containers with. It sounds obvious but its all too easy to forget and taking an entire container of a store is always riskier than opening it up, taking the item, and leaving.
>Pay attention to your surrounds. While pretending to go about your business and NOT staring up at the cameras, look for corners, blocked aisles etc.
>be mindful of associates and plainclothes LP officers. If you even get the slightest feeling someone is following you then don't do it. Your subconscious is perceptive. it was designed to keep you alive, try to listen to it.
>Winter time is best. Buy a jacket with an innerpocket. Trust be walking around with shit in your jeans is both uncomfortable and obvious.
That works too, just make sure people cant see you and intervene, and try to seal it up as much as possible.
I'd try manipulative, does he trust you deeply? Then gradually point out her negatives. When he confides in you point out her negative qualities, while maintaining an air of neutrality.

The best way is to follow my previous tips, and don't do crime in your area. The farther away you are from the crime the better.
Shotgun in the mouth. Its extremely messy, bitsd of you can even fly under doors. Do it in a room where they will find you by surprise for maximum effect

:P

Blame them in the suicide note.

Kill yourself with a pressure cooker bomb in your family's living room and write a suicide note saying you did i because your dad touched you

Take them down with you.

Move to a third world country

How can I safely get a hooker/prostitute without getting v&? I don't even know where to start.

Slit wrists in the bathtub, write a note blaming them and talking about how terrible they are.