What is the weirdest thing you've ever done well horny?

What is the weirdest thing you've ever done well horny?

Jacked off

Tried to cum in my own face, mouth open

Art tries to depict a perfect life and life tries to imitate that perfection.

Holy shit! This faggot got trips. Checked!

What a fag

I think you meant while. Never done anything weird but I have had some of the weirdest conversations with girls while horny

sucked my own cock and swalloed my own cum
can't do it anymore though
too fat

You know that gif where a woman picks up a thrown away hanky, and eats its content? I did it once with my then-crush's hanky in late elementary, after a long no-fap marathon.
So to say it was more arousing imagining it than actually doing it. It tasted like snot, and did not get any relief from doing it.

There have been times when I actually considered doing that when I was younger kind of happy I didn't

Having anime and hentai open at the same time and looking for memes on my phone

Gave myself a golden shower.

Once I connected two monitors to my laptop so I could fap to 3 bbw movies at the same time.
Should set it up again, now that you reminded me. Usually I have only one monitor connected, but bbw's don't always fit.

I tend to not do 'weird' things as such. Anyways the thing i regret most was agree to be gangbanged by trans escorts. My ass hurt like a monther fucker after it was all said and done

What's your orientation? If you are straight, I think it does classify as weird.

Also, what's going on with the captchas? It gives me the checkmark right away instead of making me select 600 cars.

Fucked your mom

Dad? You owe me 31 years of child support.

Straightish? Not into dudes but trans can get my grears going for sure

Im pretty sure google is fucking up as far the captchas are concernd

Drank an entire glass of a female friend's phlegm. No, I'm not joking.

Are you talking about her pussy juice or the crap you cough up when you are sick

Fpbp

Got fucked in the ass

Sucked a dick for a little bit in the woods, and got scared to get fucked so I just left

not even trying
>tried
nigga get on my level
more fun than youd think
thats just fucking nasty


personally the weirdest thing ive done is cut my dick up, feed earbud wire all the way down the shaft, shoved a vibrator in my ass, then threw my legs up over my head; wire, blood, precum, all dangling and i jacked it into my mouth while playing with my ass and swallowed.

well thats not the weirdest thing ive done but its a start

>scared to get fucked
get on this mothafuckas level

>trying this hard

true story faggot.

although i did start to lose my boner cause the cuts burned like hell

Get crossdressed and get fucked with a diodo by muy girldfriend

Tried to suck my own dick
>too small

Rode a big black dick

yuck

With no condom, jizz was oozing out my ass at the end

Well I bought some women's lingerie, wig, and mask. Took some pics and vid of myself in them. Sometimes upload them to Sup Forums threads. Not even a trap or anything. Thinking of buying a dildo or prostate massager but I don't feel like blowing more money on this random shit.

I've always defaulted to jerking it in public
From earliest to latest
>was on roadtrip with my aunt, just us two
>always thought she was hot
>she honestly was and she was in her early 20s when I was in HS
>roadtrip in truck
>tell her I'm going to lay in the back to take a nap and I do
>wake up horny
>sit like pic related
>have a conversation with her while stroking my dick and looking at her legs and tits
came so fucking much

I lied that wasn't the earliest, that was around my sophomore year
The earliest was around 7th or 8th grade
>visiting family in CO
>they take me to what I can only remember to be an indoor waterpark
>must fuck hormones are in full effect at this age and im surrounded by young and old girls in bathing suits
>find a pool surrounded by jets and it's in the middle of the building
>post up and start watching girls around me while my dick is being stimulated by a jet
>eventually cum after about 10 mins and it's fucking amazing
I remember an older girl looking at me and I'm almost 100% certain she knew what I was doing because she was making a grossed out face
I just didn't think anything of it at the time

Jizzed on my torso rubbed it around on my uppper body and let it sit for a bit
>until dry
Crawled into bed.
>2AM GMT
and went to sleep.

I fucked my dog.
Things were not the same again.
gave her for adoption after that.
just couldn't look at her the same way again.

>Tried to cum in my own face, mouth open


Mirman ? Is that you ?

Claimed kurdistan was a real country

>be me 5 weeks ago,
>been fucking from my community college psych class for a few months now and found out she had a bf.
>unbeknownst to her I hatched a diabolical plan.
>tell her I wanna try sometime kinky in my car the next time we fool around.
>she texts me back and says I'm down for anything bby.
>trap set.
>order a massive industrial size rubber band off of Amazon.
>plan is to introduce the rubber band as we're banging in my car as a means to conserve energy and bang longer.
>get rubber band expanded enough to fit around the two of us whilst in doggy style.
>I had no idea it would get stuck I was hard inside this woman for a little over an hour before we realized we were stuck and had to call the fire department with the jaws of life.
>Her bf's face when he sees me inside his bitch in the news paper.
Pic related.

It should be? Why isn't it? Because it would offend a bunch of unibrowed Turks?

jerk with oils honey butter