Funny School Stories Thread

Funny School Stories Thread


i'll start, this one time at school there was a fat kid and i was the fat kid

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In 4th grade my faggot friend Alex convinced me that the word "nigger" was synonymous with "lesbian" so I yelled at the only black girl at our school to "get off the jumprope, nigger!"

her entire (immediate and extended) family came to school up in arms every day for a week straight. my mom and the principle had to negotiate with them for hours and hours every day for a week, I ended up suspended for a week. was cool though because my parents weren't mad at me, they were more upset with the baboon family for being so ridiculously angry even though I had no idea what the word meant.

I got dirty looks from her nignog sisters and mother whenever I saw them up until 7th grade, which was when I finally moved


tl;Dr I was my elementary school's nigger guy

>I was my elementary school's nigger guy
I didn't think every elementary school had a nigger guy

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Bump

This one isn’t that much funny but strange
>be on bus
>guy next to me is older and is drawing
>he kept to himself never spoke to him
>leaned over to see what he’s drawing
>some cool star wars shit because the prequels were just finished
>he says to me “You think that’s cool? Look at THIS”
>page flipped
>nickelodeon characters with huge detailed veiny cocks
>wtf
>other people on bus notice
>he gets off and never speaks to me again
>he’s a school bus driver now

The kind of shit you take to the grave

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Bump

bullshit

kek

>freshman year
>lunch break
>sit with sophomores and juniors who don't mind me and probably feel sorry for me
>normally take a nap after finishing food
>one day woken up from nap
>black girl
"hey, my friend over there wants your number"
>look over
>other side of cafeteria is cute black girl with glasses shyly smiling at me
>look back to girl who woke me up
"I don't know you"
>go back to sleep

...

you don't say.

i do say

no shit, Sherlock.

rule34

>me and this cute girl have been flirting for days now
>a teacher noticed and comments
>"are you going after izzy user?"
>I didn't expect my teacher to ask me this
>autism activated
>"uuuuh no no i-im gay haha"
>she looks surprised and says
>"oh wow I didn't know" she chuckles a little
>pretty sure cute girl noticed cuz she never even talked to me after that

>be me
>in art class with some friends (it was an easy A, hardest thing we had to do was try to make green from some paint)
>start joking around about "suspicious behaviour" (like watching porn in class)
>nigger friend starts talking about him and his dad caught his brother reading porn in the family room
>his father walks to brother, looks at what he's reading, makes a face and looks at nigger friend
>nigger friend looks and is as confused as his dad
>his brother was reading a hentai comic
>only problem is that nigger friend didn't know what hentai was
>spent 10 minutes of class trying to describe a hentai comic (or manga if you're a weeb)
>when he finishes the story we notice the entire class and teacher have gone silent, listening to the story
>for reference, I went to a Christian school, put 2&2 together

This one's actually kind of embarrassingly sad

>be 6th grade me, total beta
>was one of the few non-white kids at school (that's beside the point other than that I already felt weird there)
>school dance coming up, first one I've ever been to
>feel nervous, get dressed up and ready to go
>got a ride from my mom, show up at 6 pm
>walk onto campus, no one is there
>go to the MPR where the dance is gonna be, they're still setting up last minute things
>get nervous and feel awkward, run to closest boys room
>chill for a bit just washing my hand and checking my hair
>hear voices so socially awkward me runs into the handicap stall
>lock it and just wait
>other people come in and out occasionally but thankfully not too
>someone tries opening the stall, I just tuck away near the toilet
>I had to wait until 7:30, head out, meet up with friends
>nobody had an idea that I was just literally hanging out in a stall for more than an hour

people love hearing good stories man

No the craziest story, but it always stuck with me

>in science class, age 14
>take extra plate of agar jelly (picrelated) before experiment
>spit on it
>hide it in cupboard under sink near my desk
>retrieve plate each science class
>spit, cough, loogies, i covered that thing in my germs
>hide plate again before end of class
>continue for 2 months, growing a potent mass of life, all from my fluids
>stick a compass in there and mash it all up with the spike
>stab the dickhead Jehovah's Witness a few seats down with compass
>he went off sick for weeks
>2 days detention for me
>apparently it wasn't a rigorous enough experiment

I felt bad for the kid, he got a really bad infection. And could have gotten healthy a lot sooner if his stupid religion didn't get in the way with his treatment

First of all why

Second of all that's fucking hilarious

I felt like growing my own biological weapon. It was more successful than most of my half-assed 14-year-old ideas

literally gay

...

>shadman

>be me
>bored as fuck in class
>look over to the connecting class window
>see that their playing kahoot
>join
>puts name as failed abortion
>teacher sees im on my phone and takes it
>fucked.jpg
>teacher from other room walks in to see if it was anyone of us
>she says i did it
>even more fucked.jpg
>get sent to principle
>hes not mad but is very disappointed
>gives me a detention
>mfw all he gave me was a detention
>doesnt call my parents


good day

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...

This isn't all in school, but it is from that time
>10 year old me
>on school bus there's this obnoxious kid
>a little bit older than me
>a bit of an asshole, nobody really likes him
>sits next to me a lot for some reason
>we have a weird passive aggressive sarcastic friendship
>insult each other's families a lot
>actually kind of become friends eventually, start hanging out
>at his house one time, we are home alone
>for whatever reason he wants to compare dicks
>I think its weird, but, being comparably autistic, I agree
>he makes me inspect his
>basically we end up fondling each other's genitals
>at some point we realize it's pretty weird
>we stop
>friendship kind of ruined
>stop hanging out
>neither of us tell anybody
>try to forget but can't, too weird
>flash forward to high school
>hear he killed himself

Get this normie tier shit meme off my Sup Forums

college story tho, happened last week
>societies day in college
>people go to the gym to sign up for shit
>out of curiosity go, see whats up
>"airsoft" society
>some guy in a military style jacket, with a weird, puffy bowl cut, twitchy looking guy, seems unstable and shit, comes up to the desk
>they have guns on display
>picks up each one and aims at random people
>mfw school shooter society accepted him in

He's fucking training, get out now user

...

more detail on why and how he killed himself, please.

I JOINED TOO
TOGETHER WE ARE STRONGER

I didn't know him by high school. I do know that even by then people still didn't like him.
I think he hanged himself.

> grade 8
> things going o.k
> one classmate being an asshole to me
> was being an asshole to most other students too
I'll fix this fucker.
> gym class
> in locker room, changing into gym strip
> purposefully take my time
> wait for locker room to clear out
> bring some fiberglass insulation from home in a sandwich bag
> give assholes street clothes a rub down with the insulation
> finish gym class
> change back to street clothes, then head to next class
> asshole starts getting fidgety in his desk
> he's itching uncontrolably
> ended up going home for the rest of the day
> other students make fun of him for having fleas / lice
> me be, smug satisfaction

>be me
>be 16 or 17
>first year community college
>bring bong with me, had it since I was 13, it is finely tuned and hits so smooth it's like vaping
>guy in my class want's to try smoking cannabis
>had a 1/4oz of barneys blue cheese. import
>took this him out to a field 5 mins away from college
>drew the bongs for him and took the heat off the top
>guy probably got about 1.5g of blue cheese in his head before he really noticed
>bring him back to class, keep telling him to "chill man you only had a little bit"
>obvious stoner teacher obviously clocks on
>this guy is alternating between slumping over his desk mumbling and throwing up in a bin
>teach plays it off like he doesn't know
>play flash games for 3 hours
>day at college finished

Anyone remember that group of epic tard stories , I can't remember the tards name but the poster was his mentor at a school.

>be me
>junior
>taking bus because i couldn't be fucked to walk a mile
>sit next to black dude
>he's trying to sleep
>all of a sudden his phone goes off
>it's full blast
>his ringtone is 'if i could be a nigger for a day'
>dude probably set it to that as a joke and forgot to change it
>at this point the whole fucking bus is looking at him
>doesn't even turn it off
>he owns it like a motherfucker
>when we got the school he fucking darted out out of the bus
>for the rest of the year he's known as johhny rebel jr.
>mfw

I could use a nigger guy to head up my operations down in Dallas

>Dumbass friend says that little red switch on the back of the PC makes it explode.
>Bullshit
>Friends do it to a bunch of off PCs during break. Nothing
>Do it to an on pc.
>MOTHERFUCKER SOUNDS LIKE A GUNSHOT
>Tinnitus. Smoke fills the room.
>GTFO
>Next lesson we're across the hall.
>Hear gunshots and a bunch of kids running out of the class.
>OFUK
>They turned on the PCs that we fucked with
>No one finds out it's us.
>Later googling reveals that switch fucks with the voltage settings and makes the power block catch fire
>Good times.

Why the fuck are normies so mean? The kid just wants to cook some eggs for himself and maybe some of his friends. But fucking faggot normalfags have to turn it into a school shooter joke.

nigger we're mean

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>be me
>sixth grade
>hanging out with friends at recess
>we're near the swings
>fat mexican that was hanging with us gets pissed at me for some reason
>bell rings and we start to walk to our homeroom
>previously mentioned fat kid decides to pull back one of the empty swings and push it at me
>see it out of the corner of my eye
>brain is doing calculations
>as soon as the swing meets me, I dodge it like a badass
>friends are in pure disbelief
>fat kid gets in trouble
>friends start making comparisons to the Matrix and all they talk about for the rest of the day was how badass that was
>mfw