What are some innocuous/legal ways I can fuck with my obnoxious cunt of a roomate without it coming back to haunt me...

What are some innocuous/legal ways I can fuck with my obnoxious cunt of a roomate without it coming back to haunt me? I already plan to fuck his """girlfriend""" as soon as he moves out of state, but I need something more.

Aw, leave the poor guy alone.

Nah, bro. He's a piece of subhuman debris who deserves no mercy.

put some drugs in his car, and call the cops when he leaves and report someone smoking meth or some shit on the street, give description of car or whatever and where he is located.

I like your thinking, but I need something more subtle.

>get under front bumper of his car
>zip tie harmonica off to side of radiator
>will only make noise when car is in motion
>mechanic won't understand the noise
>etc

>I already plan to fuck his """girlfriend""" as soon as
how original, bro. At least think a tad out the proverbial box, and seduce him instead and let him have a ramming that'll be heard in Montenegro and clock in a nice 8 on the richter.

What did he do tho ?

>how original, bro
Thing is, I already cought her eyeballing the shit out of me. She clearly wants my dick, and I'd be more than happy to oblige.

>Thing is, I already cought her eyeballing the shit out of me. She clearly wants my dick, and I'd be more than happy to oblige.

>roommate's girlfriend can't help but to look at him and think about how weird he is
>she caught him checking out her ass and tits so she can't help but to look at him in disgust
>OP thinks his roommate's girlfriend wants the D
>OP is going to "let" her have some of his autism meat

kek

>doesn't even flush the toilet half the time, leaving his turds for me to find
>can't even see the floor in his room
>never takes out the trash, literally not even once
>plays obnoxious nigger music without headphones, around the time of day where I am trying to wind-down before sleep
>totally pussy-whipped by his oneitis who virtually friendzoned him as their "relationship" began. Bragging about how much game he has when he gets zero pussy whatsoever.
>blames me for not waking him up early enough when he's late to work

>OP tires to make a move
>she screams
>she slaps the shit out of him
>she calls the police
>OP gets charged with sexual assault

hahaha fuckin this 100%

gold

well you should start by cloning his cell phone

the way hes laying out his plans to fuck this guys gf just sounds cringe

then what

Yeah, shes not quite a 2d waifu, so I can see how you're unable to relate.

Cute projection, pal. Did I stir up some PTSD?

then fuck him and film it, and send the tape to her.

>doesn't even flush the toilet half the time, leaving his turds for me to find
well?

you sound like someone's bitter wife.. you sure your not actually his girlfriend?

then ram it up your poop shoot

Probably the best idea.

SATAN IN DA HOOOOUUUUSEEE

we got the best ideas, tremendous ideas, the best, believe me, they're terrific.

masturbate with doors open

>hurr durr you don't like suprise turds in the toilet? Must be bitter. Derpdederr.

You could just remind him to flush the fucking toilet, it seems like a healthier option than trying to fuck his girlfriend.

This might also work.

Wtf I love unflushed toilets now.

>remind him to...

>implying I haven't already done that

every day, rotate everything in the room slightly counterclockwise

>suprise turds in the toilet
great name for a porno grind band
don't we all, brah.

start shitting on his shits and don't flush.

Roofie him then fuck him.

evil genius...