My gf and I have been together since middle school. We are both 40...

My gf and I have been together since middle school. We are both 40. She told me that I have to shit on her chest at least twice a week. I'm told to eat only rice and bread before she wants me do shit on her. I've done this for two years now, and I just want to die. What to do?

what's the issue?

I just cant do it anymore. I forgot to mention, she would kill herself if I ever left her, and acuse me of rape!!!

dump her.

and be acused of rape?! This woman is going to ruin me! She is a feminazi!

>two days before chest shitting
>begin taco bell / stool hardener diet
>nothing but nasty fast food burritos and stool hardeners
>few hours before shitmageddon
>take way more laxatives than you need
>honey, let's do this
>it'll be hard, but try to hold it in
>shit 2 days of terrible liquid taco bell nightmare sludge all over her bare chest
>"i'm divorcing you"

give yourself diarrhoea and as you're about to unload on her chest shit in her mouth then tell her you're leaving

you are in a shitty relationship my friend, you have to doo something.
ahhh i'm done with the puns. you're either baiting or trolling i'm out

I love it! She only likes hard turds, once tried to stab me for runny shit. Yeah, I need to do this already. Frankly just need to find a way out. Maybe I should just shit on her while she's asleep

No that would turn her on more, maybe making her eat it would dissuade her interest in it?

Not in bed though. She is a clean freak, except in the bath tub. Its odd, but it would seriously trigger her. Fuck it, I'll take pics too. I'm so done. Only reason I started cuz she called me a pedo and extorted me all these years. I'm not. I frankly have no idea where the fuck that came from

she's obviously crazy, OP needs to pull the plug the hard way and brace for a shitstorm. i recommend a body armor and .338 winchester magnum, just in case.

what does she do with the turds after they're on her chest?

One hand rubs it on chest and belly, other she rubs one out with dildo. I'm told to gtfo. I wipe myself in another bathroom.

So when she is in the bath, stand over her, force her mouth to your ass, and force the poop down her throat
>a win

Tell her that it has been shown that such degrading sexual activity is bad for relationships and personal and spiritual growth.

:c It would be glorious to join her one of these days in poop play. Have you ever asked if you could join her?

Eat some corn and peppers...tell her you made nachos

this is bait, OP's probably furiously fapping right now.

...

...

If only that was true I havent had a good nut in 6 months

Sit down and have a nice conversation with her and ask for you to stop, if that doesn't work, say you have diarrhea/ the flu

Fucking prove this shit. Time stamp, we don't need to see your wife or your shit.

move out of india

Give her the good old log down the throat nigger