If you could go back in time and tell your 14 year old self love advice what would it be?

if you could go back in time and tell your 14 year old self love advice what would it be?

dont fuck chelsea. shes a loosey goosey

take advantage of your near-constant boners because it won't always be that way

Know when a girl is flirting with you. Don't jump to conclusions either.

Get prepared for a gnarly heartbreak you poor son of a bitch

fuck bitches get money

until about 25

This may sound crazy but some 7/10s like you. Don't be weird about it though

Lose weight and try crossdressing already

Heated massage oil clearly says external use only.

Fuck her, always fuck her, pull it out and go to town. The worst she can do is tell you to stop and then not want to see you any more and she's going to do that soon anyway.

Gnarly dude.

Greentext?

The anus is a vacuum that sucks in foreign objects

Olivia is a trap. Don't learn the hardway

Lmao dude fuck love.
Youre gonna meet two bitches.
Ones gonna break your heart and the other is just going to drain your sole and 20s away.

Focus on yourself, go the good path and the right one would have been there the ENTIRE fucking time. Also listen to me, seriously. We're both retarded but I'm the one who's already figured it out the hard way.

Love advice?!? fuck that!
I'd tell myself that religion is a farce. School is important, Adults really don't know anything, Girls want sex as much as you do, no one has your best interests in mind, NEVER marry someone you don't truly love, and If you want to make it, you gotta work your fucking ass off.

Dont pass on the grass

Kill Kyle

What happened with olivia user? This is a story I want to hear.

Stop being a coward and just try to get in their pants.

...

Everyone has their own personal Olivia story.

Olivia is all of our shitty ex girlfriends.

but then i'd have to travel to the..... future

*soul...

bump

>ITT: killing your current self when you alter your past

don't let danielle overdose, it'll haunt u until your 19 at least

Truth

Don't get in relationships till you get yourself situated with career and finances. You first until older then fuck around all you want.

yeeee nigga. Thats my plan right now actually but im 27. literaly did fuck all from 20-27 but drink beer, smoke weed, and go to bars with friends. no gf or sexy times in that period.

Don't trust Jonathan.

Also, buy some condoms and let your cousin Stephen fuck you. You'll spend the rest of your life wishing you had.

As someone named Johnathan, I am offended.

Hot!

stop playing computer games you faggot.

>be me
>14
>in 8th grade
>you have your typical Staceys and Chads
>I'm a Chad
>Olivia is a semi hot Stacey girl
>everyone says she has to have a penis
>she plays along with the joke
>has mustache
>it's not much but it's there
>I don't have the best reputation at school
>known as a creep just a little
>can't get anyone higher than 8/10
>the rest of the school is a 4/10
>I decide that Olivia is my best shot at getting something with a girl
>so me and 3 other buddies sleep over at my house
>we made plans prior to sneak out at the football field at around 1
>1:00 rolls around
>put on our shoes and each grab a condom from one of my buddies just in case
>we roll out
>we sprint down our street and hop the fence into the highschool
>Flint is dating a 9/10
>Jeff and Spencer are dating too
>I'm single
>so finally the girls get there
>we're talking and Olivia and one of her friends go behind a dugout
>side note: there is a baseball field behind football field
>I follow for some reason
>Olivia's friend leaves after they said something in private
>Olivia stays behind to chat with me
>we talk about random shit
>finally we start making out
>then I put my hand slowly down her pants
>her panties have a nice fleece feel to them
>then I feel a bulge
>not sure what it is considering I've never felt a vagina before
>I pull my hand slightly above her panties
>dig in to her panties
>I feel a dick
>a dick
>I pull my hand out as fast as I can
>I'm disgusted
>she starts pleading with me
>"user, please don't tell!"
>I don't care
>i puked
>ran to bathroom to clean all traces of Olivia
>I had been pranked

Sorry, I still trust Jonathan's just not that particular one.

Lose weight sooner and don't marry Stefanie

tf you talking about?
OP said if you could go back to your 14 year old self.
not
talk to yourself like a faggot

wait. are you 14 user?

Don't start doing drugs. You'll need viagra by the time you're 16.

Don't date Lily. You'll fall in love and date all throughout high school only for her to absolutely break your heart, only leaving you to regret the lost time where you could have been fucking other girls and coming out as a better person.

Just be yourself and don't limit yourself to people you feel you have to be around to feel "normal."
You don't have Asbergers, you were never diagnosed and you will find out they incorrectly assumed you did. You have a big heart and let it free. And listen to Three Days Grace/get into music sooner..

Greentext me the story my dear

Porno is the mind-killer

Pretend to be happy, smoke pot, drink beer, and lose all ambition. Then, you'll be a success with the meme that is the opposite sex.

learn how to not break hearts

About Jonathan? Or my cousin?

"I swear to god if you let her get away again I'll muster enough energy to come back in time AGAIN and beat the shit out of you. what ever you do, do not just let it fade out."
"also cut your fucking hair"

You're clean

Take highschool seriously.

When given the choice of ass, grass or gas always choose ass. You gotta start saving that cash if you want that sex change operation by the time you reach 21.

Look up the Book of Pook, which you need because all of the real shit is too complicated for you right now, and start exercising. Really, actually exercising. And feel free to date chicks without feeling like a cunt because you don't care about them--nobody cares about women as much as you think they should unless something is wrong with them. You're a kid, so it's fine, but getting all of this out of the way a few years earlier means you might not have to deal with the uncertainty and insecurity you'd experience in college otherwise.

Still, do not fuck loose women until you get good at breaking up without pissing them off. Speaking of loose women, get yourself some condoms "just in case" a few days before you start college. It is really, really easy to get laid where you're going.

both!

Get over yourself

Some guys are into guys like you, don't be afraid to flirt a bit.

If you dont try, you dont really fail.

>> im a chad
>>can't get anyone higher than 8/10
Pick one faggot

/r/theredpill yeeeeaaah nigga. Haha for me too bad I'll always be a virgin forever-alone.

My love life mindset has literally not changed at all in the past 5 years. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but I'm still a kissless virgin and fine with it.

make moves
don't fear rejection: prove you're real with persistence
don't treat girls as otherworldly beings: they're quite mundane
practice

Don't allow friends to fuck your mom

Bruh I'm a chad but I don't get shit because I don't try and i don't care. Get on my virgin level faggot.

>Be me
>In love with friend all of school.
>Never tell him cause he was always chasing other girls who were prettier than me.
>Summer after graduation, he kisses me one night.
>Dream come true!
>We mess around that summer, no sex though.
>Fall comes, he's joining the army.
>Say goodbye to him, tell him I will write him everyday.
>He tells me to go, closes door in my face.
>End of 13 year long friendship.
>Still not over it.

>Be me.
>Cousin is two months younger.
>Always together.
>Start exploring around age six, touching and rubbing.
>Escalates as we get older, no sex, but constant oral.
>Loved his dick and cum, craved it.
>Wanted to have sex by age 13, but scared to go buy condoms. I was already having periods and didn't wanna risk getting pregnant.
>He gets a girlfriend shortly after, end of our sex games.
>Miss his cock, best I ever sucked.
>Wish I had fucked him before he got the herps.

go into it knowing it's not going to last: it's not supposed to

work out. Now. NOW.
If you don't stop eating Mcdonalds, you'll be eating it 4 times a week when you are 35.

Dang bb. Thanks for sharing. I'll think of you for the rest of my night, and I'll call you nutelly.

pooping in the rec center basketball court will really make everyone resent you even though that shit was hilarious and probably worth it.

Girls do not have a penis like you do.

Forget about girls. Girls come later when you have money. Focus on getting rich.

I do love a good nut.

You fucking liar

I'd honestly say nothing. I stumbled into some good highschool romances despite being a complete social retard, so there'd be a good chance I'd make myself fuck up if I said anything

Kek how to get suicidal depression from a shitty office job that never gives you a promotion until you're so lonely you blow your life savings in a sex doll and kill yourself.

That's not very ladylike then again who gives a fuck! Goodbad girls rule.

>start exploring around age six
>loved his dick and cum, craved it

>age six
>cum

nigga what? lie to me again

That man is not your real uncle

we both know we knew there was no candy in that van but do not do it.
its not as fun as it looked on the porno

Work out and just fuck bitches, don't fall in love because it will bite you in the ass one day.

Started at age six, as I said it escalated as we got older. I wasn't sucking him at 6, I think that started at 11-12.

Chill the fuck out bro.

someday you'll like traps... prepare

Don't get the bitch pregnant. She never loved you. She will leave you and take the kid.

...

Don't flash the fat staff Erica your penis 3 before you can visit home over your birthday. She's a snitch

I was at boarding school and almost got charged.

>Hey little me. Know when girls are flirting with you. Don't jump to conclusions, though.

>Thanks old me. That's not vague or confusing as fuck! I totally won't be nervous and overthink everything!

don't hook up with that fat chick. You end up living together for a year and it ends bad. She gives good head but is like a sack of taters to fuck

don't deny him anal, he'll cheat on you and you'll catch a nasty std
it'll break both your heart and your parents bank account

yes

I'd say "just kill yourself, you'll do the world a favor"

Or... don't date him in the first place?

Buy lube. Tell him to go slower.
You'll know why in a few years......

Leave Tammy those six years are a huge waste buy bitcoin don't go to culinary school learn to program you fucking idiot.

Get the fuck off of Sup Forums and get a girlfriend, you underaged fucker.

what happened?

"confidence, look for the hints, and do not fucking be content with being a kissless virgin or you'll regret it"

Girls are more shallow than u had hoped them to be. You are actually not a bad bargain. Be confident in your appearance, personality and ability. Go out and have fun, because teen years are precious.

14 yo me would never listen to that advice
plus i always wanted to try it anyway, just thought i wasn't ready yet back then
>i indeed was

Suck it. You know you want to. This is your best chance. He wants you to do it. You want to do it. You've literally been wanting this for years. Stop thinking and start sucking.

I don't remember meeting time-travelling me when I was 14 so by extrapolation I will never travel back in time and tell my 14-year-old self anything.

he went fast and never called again
took me few years to realize he's not coming back

ifeelu