APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW

APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
vice.com/en_se/article/real-madrid-football-youth-academy-876
youtube.com/watch?v=Cdqyh-aeCL8
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Why the fuck doesn't he just marry a girl? Why always surrogate mothers? He must be a gay right

>too gay to impregnate a woman with his dick

shocking

he doesn't want to touch a woman

why marry someone who will divorce you and take your shit when you can just pay someone for what you want to get anyway

So you're fucking children have a mother and not just their grandma as a nanny who will die before they come of age. Also he can just sign a pre-nup and they won't get shit. If you think all these surrogate mothers are because of Cristiano's aversion to marriage I'm sure you're mistaken. This has to be the biggest gay red flag of them all.

Fucking this.
>getting married while being rich and famous
Literally one of the dumbest things you can do

Your* fuck

why does he reproduce like that?

Homosexuality senpai. The reason CR7 is the best footballer in the world is his deep shame for the cock which manifests itself as intense training and attention on being the best footballer around. A lot of Green Berets, SAS and other special forces people are the same, most come out ànd become women when they leave the armed forces. CR7 will do the same

Will it yet again be an African-American mother?

Or maybe some variety this time and go for an Asian?

He is gay.

But he can't reveal it because he make a lot of money in the middle-east

>surrogate

It will be a middle eastern woman, to make his arab fans happy

I dont think he's gay.. he strikes me more as a someone not interested in sex.

the thing to understand here is gayish pictures of him dont show up on the magazines for no reason: someone from his marketing team thinks the way to go is that we think like that or at least be confused. the same reason they get him "gfs" to be in public with

His kids will be fucked up regardless. The guy is a lunatic.

>surrogate
How about actually having a mother for your kids? Two dads just isn't the same.

>I dont think he's gay

Joao pls...

It's because he's embarrassed at his micro dick. Not even joking. He literally has a micro dick and is afraid of women exposing him.

why doesnt he have kids with his gf

all hatred aside, but cris is an egoistic manchild and there's nothing groundbreaking about it. he just doesn't really care that for his kids not having a mother - like all kids does - will be a huge problem at some point no matter how much money he'll spend on em.

Because maybe he doesn't trust them, he knows they just want his money.

You might be on to something.

pre-nup's are worthless

but yeah he's a flaming homo
plausible

>still hating on CR7

Some kind of butt surrogate?

>tfw too smart for sex

>This is not considered gay in Portugal.

>apologize to a wealthy, successful, homosexual, international superstar who.s artificially inseminated, hormone laden, surrogate mother is conceiving as scheduled
explain why?

why would it be gay? if you get homosexual feelings from that picture that's on you atze

He's not gay he's asexual

right?

getting tired of educating speefags..

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

>asexual
>yet metrosexual
you can't be serious

what's it called when you only want to have sex with yourself? cos that's what he is.

narcissism, you fucking imbecile

how can one man be so based?

for the mathematically challenged, 1 wife ~ 1 child / 9 months

surrogates scales infinitely. If you are rich af, you should leave behind 10-20 offspring to continue your legacy. If you don't you are stupid and just lucked into money

>2040
>Halal starting 11
>Ronaldo, Ronaldo, Ronaldo ...

i know what narcissistic means you spastic, was looking for a _sexual kind of word. narcissexual or something.

Autosexuality

>11 Ronaldos on one team

Literally every 5 seconds you would hear TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>tfw the USMNT will have LW Ronaldo, ST Ronaldo, RW Ronaldo for 2040 World Cup

So that's a season ending pregnancy, right?

why his son is a nigger?

then why didn't you say you were looking for a word with "sexual" as suffix, you fucking retard

I guess Ronaldo decided that his mother had the best genes out of all possible mates. Ronaldo is more intelligent than he looks, im sure he is very redpilled on women.

worm faggot

AutosexTSUality

this is the actual reason

he's grossed out by women and prefers to send his sperm per mail

i really hope he chose a white mother this time

>german humor
Okay I still chuckled though

But he's whitish and trying to breed super athletes so going darker is a better bet

...

Not gonna lie, former asexual here. This is fucking hillarious, watching all of you crash and burn. But in all seriousness, you can't let me get to some piece of ass

This statue looks more like David Beckham then him

>former asexual

>CR1: PASS ME I'M OPEN!
>CR2: TSUUU!!! [shoots from 40 meters and misses it]
>CR1: O que há de errado com você puta?! TSUUU!!!
>CR2: TSUUUUU!!!
>CR3 : TSUUUUUUUU!!!
>CR4 : TSUUUUUUUUU!!!/
>CR5: I DON'T WANT TO BE A GOALIE IT'S MY TURN TO PLAY STRIKER TSUUU!
>CR6 : TSUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
>Isco: this team is retarded...

Ronaldo is redpilled on this matter.

>yfw Messi Jr still top scorer

POO

Perez would then sell Isco

Imagine the fight when they get a penalty and all of them want to take it.

the shit taking part is not a thing anymore
there are contracts to avoid it in advance
it will be a Portuguese woman again

wouldn't people in that situation find a stable gf/wife and stick with her? If his only issue is a micro dick then he's much better off with monogamy than the shit he's benn pulling.

Would you like to feel his cock in your ass to prove otherwise?

bro, we're talking like REALLY small, I would know about small, just look at my flag.

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUrrogate

>Madam, we know you are the surrogate mother for Ronaldo, and we have some news for you
>oh yeah... what?
>well, you know how you wanted a natural vaginal birth?
>yes
>well, we've discussed this with Cristiano and he does not want it. He does not want his children tainted by the touch of a vagina. He feels that their first words should be 'CR7'. He feels that their first steps should be followed quickly by their first dive. And he feels the first genitals they feel should belong to CR7.
>well... what does he want me to do? A C-Section? Won't that leave a scar?
>Well that isn't quite what he wants Madam. He feels that his children will have incredible vision. They will be able to visualise the chance to fall over in the box when they are still on the centre circle. He believes this vision will make them able to identify any woman with a belly scar and doesn't want to risk them knowing who you are, as this could diminish their worship of him.
>then how will I give birth?
>Mr Ronaldo has agreed to pay for a new type of groundbreaking birthing technique. For this technique the entire hospital staff will dress as FIFA delegates, and you will wear a Cristiano Ronaldo face mask. When you go into labour the entire medical team will stand and state 'The Prenatal B'alondor goes to..... CR7 Jr!'. At this point you will stand at the front of the room and loudly scream in celebration, causing the child to fall from your mouth onto the floor at which point the baby will roll around clutching its face.
>are you sure it will work?
>Yes. You will be the first woman ever to have a TSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-Section

>tsu section
>tsurrogate
>human growth tsumones
>mother is from tsUSA

i kek'ed

>at which point the baby will roll around clutching its face.
Well played

>>Yes. You will be the first woman ever to have a TSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-Section

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

He's a paedophile

vice.com/en_se/article/real-madrid-football-youth-academy-876

>Home sickness was a problem for everyone, we missed our families and friends. But worst of all was the late night visits from one of the star players of the senior team. It's a little known problem in football, but it absolutely happens. He was indiscriminate in who he preyed upon. We would hear him prowling the corridors late at night. I thankfully never had a personal experience with him, but his presence affected all of the boys. No one slept on the nights he visited. We would all lie awake with anxiety. When we heard a muffled "TSUUUU" reverberate around the walls, we'd know that he was done for the night. None of the boys ever spoke about it in the mornings after. I think he liked us because we were weaker than him without the means to fight back. Just like Osasuna and Eibar.

>I think he liked us because we were weaker than him without the means to fight back. Just like Osasuna and Eibar.

Maybe he is selfsexual

So just a regular gay dude.

I recognize that bulge!

Because there is something called "love"

Lmfao can someone explain this TSUUUUU meme to me?

youtube.com/watch?v=Cdqyh-aeCL8

He's actually using advanced technology to clone himself

>american mother
last time it was a spic, is he going black this time?

>not using a much more actual pic

His nearest and dearest, Daily Mail.

because that should've been obvious from the start

...

>tfw I made this

Haven't seen it in ages desu

Having a mother is not near as important as having a good father figure. Especially in this age.

>in 20 odd years there will be 2 prime Ronaldos

Heaven.

no you didn't

...

No, no, don't post it. Please God noooooooo.

top laff

It is even more autistic then I remember.

At least you tried.

It's important to have both.

It's selfish.

interesting situation: spanish law changed after he bought his first kid, it is now illegal to buy surrogate kids in foreign countries and bring them to spain

I wonder if anything will happen legaly speaking

t. nigger without a dad

He's leaving Madrid at the end of this season, that's why.

Someone just stop this fucking pedo already.

Is that Odegaard?