Advice needed, especially femanons

Advice needed, especially femanons.
My wife has the smallest clit I have ever seen. The tip of my tongue completely covers it. It's as small as a rice krispie. No lie.
Also, she's very smooth between her lips. No nooks and crannies. No folds.
She cannot cum from penetration and oral has to be extremely precise, with no changes or she gets frustrated. Oral takes an hour or more of careful precision. Very very very frustrating.
Her fastest way to cum is running water in the tub. Her shower head pleases her more than I do. And I've pleased a dozen women or more.
She won't use toys. Is straight edge so she never relaxes.
What can I do? Does she need surgery? What about a suction pump? Maybe that would expose more?
I'd like to go down on her like a normal guy and not get cramps and locked joints!

>She won't use toys.
Well, you need to change this user. Hitachi will help you two. A bit expensive but worth the money.

maybe she got phimosis.
yes, women can get it too, when the clitoral hood is too tight around the clitoris to be arousing.

lol straight edge isnt about never relaxing. its not drinking or doing drugs. are those the only two forms of relaxation?

you might be fucked unless she's willing to change... she needs to use toys.

She's a big woman, 300 lbs. Gained 100 lbs in 5 years. (Protip: big girls get bigger). I think food and bathes are her pleasures instead of sex. She still is very pretty, still has some of her curves. Still attracted to her but the sex is really pleasing only me. Yes she likes to fuck. She enjoys it but I honestly believe she has separated sex and orgasms completely. Sex is fun but her pleasure is the shower head.
Guys, I barely feel like a man now.

you're her toyboy.

300 lbs is gross. She doesn't have a small clit, she's just fat. It's just like when men have a smaller penis because the fat is hiding the rest.

That's her own fault. Don't feel bad because she can't take care of herself.

WHO IS THAT!?

They're literally 60$ USD fucking broke nigga get your weight up. The wireless is maybe 90-110$USD unless you're getting cycled by some shill porno store. You can cop a Doxy (same principle, metal and better features) for ~120-180$USD. Good advice, but don't let this poor fuck dissuade you.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Even 100 pounds ago her clit was tiny and her spread pussy was just smooth. She was a virgin and loves being a good girl, eager to please me but honestly I don't think she even thinks I can please her completely. It's very sad.

>fucking broke nigga
stop paying for her food

his gf is 300 lb what do you expect? all their money probably goes to the dollar menu

>300lbs
Just buy the hitachi and hang yourself with it my nigga, you're done.

An hour of oral just to cum is pretty sad, especially if what you claim about other women is true. I'd invest in some toys and tell her that she needs to actually relax. Do you even get pleasure out of this sexual arrangement? Also why did you make her your wife when you knew the sex was this bad?

ex girlfriend also a showerhead fiend
experimentation my friend... if she cant try new things you're basically fucked

>tfw can't afford hitachi but buying hibachi instead

I'm not OP?
I can't believe I wasted the time to breakdown those prices for a 300lb nigga to not make his 300lb wife cum.

>booboothefool.jpg

OP can we see what you look like? I bet you are balding.

Nigga....heavily underrated post kek

Are you me?

oldie but goodie

She gives astonishing blow jobs and is so tight she can suck my dick with her pussy contractions.

yeah, well, but she's fat.

wow, this is the post to save everybody's soul

Apparently there's another raid coming up soon, I coulda sworn HH got shut down but idk

What is with fucking showerheads anyways?

Hence the dick sucking

rhythm, vibration and pressure in one, I guess

but she's still a fat slob who makes OP feel like a whimp.

Figures. At 300lbs she must be using multiple orifices to intake food. Unless you're both giants (over 6' 3") this is fucking disgusting.

>pic related, superior S-class chassis for woman

>women get big
>get
>started at 200 lbs

You obviously had some red flags to begin with.

why would you be worried about pleasing a fat pig. You dont have to worry about anyone else trying to do it. So your only real competition is an inanimate shower head. Fucking slap it around, tell it its not welcome anymore. Tell it you'll hurt the taps or something.

>dirty soles
HNNNNNG

dirty feet, sign of an adventurous girl.

right?
why would you even start with 200lbs?
As a chubby guy I don't even weigh that much.

She needs to lose weight, yes, but I'd that's entirely it. I've tried to examine to where the clit is that's not visible, using my fingers. Found a spot that seems to suggest it tucks behind her pelvic bone. Pressure there had her purring and cuddling against me very quickly but I lost the spot. Maybe it's spine related...Lower back curve pushes hips forward? Maybe a chiro visit could adjust her spine/hips and allow more exposure? Just brainstorming.

that's no wife, it's a space station!

Nigga let me telling you something about dirty soles tho

FUCKING LOL

...

lol, why are you in denial?
You're one of the reasons she's that fat; you are an enabler. You keep her fat.

After she loses 150lbs you can come back and ask us for suggestions. Any doctor will say the same thing.

100 lbs ago??? Wtf? How fat is this bitch user?

Hope she's really worth it. Sounds like a high maintenance chick with a biological defect. IE NOT MY TYPE. Lol have fun with that mess, OP.

>it tucks behind her pelvic bone.
wtf am i reading
the clitoris, as the whole organ, is wrapped around the vaginal canal on the inside.
the visible part is literally the top-most part of it.

I'm out of dirty soles but here's some more heat on probably the finest European body I've ever seen

hot
>She's a big woman, 300 lbs.

...

I don't mean to fry you, I just have no legitimate advice OP. Buy a strong vibrator. Y'all got kids?

Yes my bad. I wasn't paying attention and didn't realize you'd already told us... man I like thick girls but 300 lbs... does she smell bad?? Genuinely curious.

Idk...a 5'10" 19 year old virgin with triple D's looks really good to a 40 year old man... she carried 200 pounds in just the right way. Hourglass thick at the time. Now she's lost her waist almost completely. I don't mind so much. Shes fully devoted to me. I love the aggravating woman she's grown to be. Just very frustrated. I always focused on women's orgasms, first oral then fucking. Two or more each time. Now...sigh.

Turns out you're an idiot.
That's totally normal so get used to reality numbnut.

>does she smell bad??
considering the liaison with the showerhead, I doubt that.

how tall are you? height matters. I'm a little overweight but it's not as noticeable since i'm 6 foot 1

Nah. Not gonna do that to myself again. Already pay child support! Fuuuuuck paying more one day.

It's hard to make most girls orgasm. It gets worse the longer you're in the relationship.

She can't get anybody her age because she's 300lbs and is fugly. Fat people smell funny too.

Plot twist: she never cums. She just gets bored with OP wiggling his tongue around the same spot. After 1 hour of this she's hungry for chicken tendies, she fakes an orgasm and OP is free to go to the kitchen and bake the juicy tendies for his fat sweaty baby.

Are you a Hindu Indian thug? "Nigga let me telling you" haha.

I bet she smells like sour milk.

>They're literally 60$ USD
They were 100$ when I bought mine.
>don't let this poor fuck dissuade you.
Nigger, I am the one that brought it up, how could I dissuade him?
>fucking broke nigga get your weight up.
Because I brought up the price for other user, I'm broke? lol

I'm an American of the miscellaneous brown persuasion, but naw I'm not Indian hahaha

dear god MOAR

I understand a preference for body types pushed by advertisers all your lives, and it's true, fit girls are sexy but so are big girls. I don't get why so many here cry and cry about not getting women then hate every woman they might actually get. Anyways, was hoping to hear from females. Really wanna know why showerheads just ruin shit for men.

>you deadass overpaid

>fuckin goofy

>get your weight up anyway broke nigga don't @ me again you fucking Lithuanian bitch

you a broke nigga

>LIterally

>What

>The

>Fuck

>Is

>This

>Shit?

300lbs isn't a preference of body type... that's unhealthy and gross.

Damn well at least you got a woman, I'm just playing up for the Chan

>tfw only blowjobs and handjobs for about two years
>tfw a 300lb bitch sitting on my face is becoming appealing

OP is this kinda what she looked like before? If so I get you and respect your vision.

I said shut the fuck up you idiot Ukrainian. Go play with some land mines or a bottle of vodka your retard brother made into a doll or some radioactive waste fuckin goofy.

>you deadass overpaid
No, I bought mine when that was the going rate, stupid nigger who cannot into market value.
>fuckin goofy
Great rebuttal
>get your weight up anyway broke nigga
I'm comfortable.

Buy a hitachi for her

>Anyone who responds to me is either Lithuanian or Ukrainian.
Fookin Goofy.

Why are you still trying to defend your terrible terrible financial decisions and concurrent broke nigga-ness?

I understand you're from a country where the only interesting thing is heavy metal poisoning and running from stray dogs but don't assume everyone else is retarded too.

Yep. Sexy as fuck.

What's another broke nigga country, Russia? Spain? Canada? Pick one you fucking stump jumping peasant fuck

>pic related, superior Colombian yenetics

>terrible financial decisions and concurrent broke nigga-ness?
Real niggers cannot into finances user, I appreciate your attempts though.
>I understand you're from a country where...
I am probably from the same country as you, if not, then you're the obvious broke nigger.

Have you tried talking to her about it? This is really something that y'all need to sit down and hash out, maybe toys can help, maybe she's losing interest or is self conscious about her weight gain. I would definitely ask her if you're interested in not having a hollow shell of a marriage/relationship

>superior Colombian yenetics
>Looks at her face

I think hers might be out of place. I genuinely can trace it in and up. Pressure at the edge of pelvis, still touching unexposed clit got a reaction from her and that's rare. The kind of reaction a woman has when she's very close to major release. I think hers is out of place somehow. Maybe just an inch higher than it's supposed to be.

Damn don't roll an ankle trying to dodge those ISIS trucks, Hans.

Pics??

>Trying this hard to make yourself believe other user isn't American
Sad.

My fiance is 5'2" 112lbs and her pussy clamps my dick like it's trapped under Bill Gates' safe. This doesn't add anything to the thread I just wanted to put it out there.

...

I don't give a fuck if he is or not, this is Sup Forums, suck my dick, AIDS baby.

>implying I give a fuck besides killing time before work

the superior race, clearly

>killing time before work
>Talking shit about others finances
Wagecuck

Ex wife was 5'1" 100 lbs. Very tight entrance but a cave past two inches. Probably due to two kids. But even before I wouldn't have called her tight beyond the opening. Still good pussy though. Came alot all the time every time. Now I have a tiny pussy that's grip tight from opening to end of my dick. She literally can massage my entire dick with muscle flexes. Pretty awesome except no orgasms sucks.

Nah bro I work so I don't spend all day jerking off or doing drugs, not because I need to.

>you're so hard in your feelings over this you sad, broke bitch.

Hey, maybe you can get OPs fat wife to throw you a bone.

>I work because I cannot control myself from doing drugs and acting like a degenerate
Nigger detected.
>Hey, maybe you can get OPs fat wife to throw you a bone.
No need, mine is 8 feet from me.

>"acting like a degenerate"
More like "has no need for the moral compass of a peasant or a slave"

Tell that slut to text my homeboy back, he wants them guts again tonight.

>More like "has no need for the moral compass of a peasant or a slave"
I didn't know working as a Wendy's manager gave you such a high class standing user.
>Tell that slut to text my homeboy back, he wants them guts again tonight.
inb4 cannot even compete white boi.

This

I'm not white, I would have necked myself years ago if I was.

>this nigga thinks I work at Wendy's
Cute, and flattering, but still the words of a peasant moron.

You would have necked yourself for being white? Awfully pathetic of you user.
>the words of a peasant moron.
Come on user, you've already admitted to being a wagecuck. There's no need to keep up the charade.

Do some breathwork with her

Read books by Mantak Chia. He has a book called the multi-orgasmic woman. Have your wife read that, you read the male counterpart

Broke and sensitive Nigga

Yeah, I'll hit you up when I give a fuck about whatever you just posted lil bitch.

>have fun peasant

This fuck nigga Deep in feel world lmao

I can smell her from all the way over here and it is not clean