I’m on anti depressants. I’m going to counselling yet I’m still wanting to kill myself. I’m 32...

I’m on anti depressants. I’m going to counselling yet I’m still wanting to kill myself. I’m 32, soon to be 33 and I feel like I’m going to be alone forever. I hate myself.
I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone and never will be or get what I truly deserve. I’ve never hurt anyone, I’ve never done anything to upset anyone intentionally. I just can’t do this anymore.
Advice please Sup Forums

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33 and somewhat worse off here, do you have parents? If yes try to endure for as long as you can for them. If no then reply and I'll try to look for the exit bag pic if you don't already have it.

Up your dose

get your mum to feed you more pills

30 here op and in the same boat. parents are the only thing anchoring my to this world. if they were not here i would be free already.

I do. My mother, she lives an hour away and I know it would break her heart. However, I’m tired of fighting now.

why the hell would you ask Sup Forums of all places

Man up, faggot. There is literally no objective difference whether you live or not so push forward. Whatever you want to occupy yourself with in the meantime, do so.

You’re right. If my mother wasn’t around I would have done this a long time ago. I don’t want to be a burden on he anymore. Does that make sense?

no

Have the same feels but truly have hurt myself and everyone in my life. Idk I'd say make the jump life isn't worth the pain imo

Yes it makes sense. Read some books or watch movies, you must keep busy your brain.

For replies like

Tell it to me straight

yes it does. when some days are darker than others i remind myself that one day we will be dead and will not feel like this anymore. every day is a step closer. we are never burdens to others. only to ourselves.

25 years old here.
I've always felt the dread of life.
I've always felt that something is wrong and we're not living like we should.
I'm 25 now, I like being alone and think, I'm sure oneday this will be the reason I die.
I'm somewhat more fortunate right now, as for some reason someone likes me, but I've seen the unconditional love from another woman before, it dies off and sooner or later, they'll see that I hold no value to their lives.
But I dread every social interaction, I feel like the world we live in, is based on being taught how to act, and upholding that until you die, even it means not seeing the truth and doing the exact same everyone else does, for the sake of fitting in.
I have so much to say about this subject, it haunts my mind every minute, it cripples me from even trying to be normal.
I have a growing alcohol addiction, I take sleeping pills with those and I use whatever else I can to calm down during work hours.
But the way I see it right now, it doesn't fucking matter if you're happy, or if you're miserable. Because you're along for the ride, not someone else, you're walking this shitty road of life and somehow you have to cope.
While I feel like nothing matters, I try to get some happiness from bringing chivalry back.
I deleted my facebook account, because it's pure poison, and quite frankly, these days, people behave the same way people would on b. I see a lot less shit, a lot less opinions of people who don't matter.
Live your own shitty life, don't try to uphold it for others to like.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

Ppl always tell to keep only the friends that love me and leave behind the "fake friends" wich make egoistic use of you.
I didn't understand it. I start to do it... 27y here

>I have a growing alcohol addiction, I take sleeping pills with those
Say goodbye to liver in about 10 years.

That's kind of what I'm aiming for.
The only reason You and I are alive is from profit.
We pay money as we're born and we'll be paying money till after we've died.
Wouldn't mind skipping a few years.

Overdose on morphine or something. Slowly failing liver feels like shit.

Just kill someone. The rush you`ll experience is beautiful and amazing, enough to keep you away from deppression.

I've seen overdoses go wrong twice with my dad.
It's not pretty when you fail.
Especially with medication.
You'd be suprised how resistant our bodies have become to this.

Find some activity that you can do only for you.
Not for the girls you might get with it.
Not to achieve anything special.
Not to impress anyone.
Not cause other ppl like it or tell you to do.
It takes a bit to start something new if you think you're not under controll.

But sometimes the ppl failing on suicide have an awkward feeling.
They feel that this is the thing wich they do only for themselves. They feel they have the absolute controll about this decision. Not just about this decision. It's a point in life where you have the full controll of your life between 2 decisions. If you choose life, you've realized, that you can get controll of yourself in some way.
You don't need to go that far to realize it.

Find something only for you.
You've lost yourself and it's a good way to find yourself again.

I know quite enough about different methods of suicide, including OD on illegal drugs. There is a board on another chan dedicated to this that holds plenty of info for those who really need it.

My father took a whole box of Lormetazepam.
That's 40 high dosed sleeping pills, designed for people with chronic pains.
If someone finds you, and they're in time, you're basicly fucked, no matter how much you take, there's still a shot you'll wake up.
Sure there are, sufficient ways to do this, like cyanide poisoning, but I never said I wanted to off myself right now, I just know I'll die by my own hand, in any way, and that I don't want to grow old.
Look at you man, giving people advise on how to kill themselves. Another soulless spawn of the cesspool we live in.
Get out of the feel thread, you don't belong here.

You are all wrong and have a severely limited understanding of yourselves

You sound like me, minus the addiction. I think about how unfair life is all the time, and how everyone lacks an understanding or compassion towards anyone that's different, like we're all supposed to fit a certain mold, and if you don't, then you're punished.

Take off your pink glasses jackass.
Go read a book, get an understanding of how this world works.

Nah, I was trying to save you from finding yourself in a miserable state while you quite possibly might change your mind on the whole suicide thing. Guess I was wrong, the road to Hell is, indeed, paved with good intentions.

I wish I never started, I didn't even like alcohol until I was in my 20's.
It's not a good path, i'd advise you to keep it at parties, events and such. Never alone, it doesn't help like you'd think.

I know much More than you about the human psyche. Ama bitch

"I know more than you about a subject that wasn't even insinuated in the first place."
K mate.

What the Fuck are you galning about? You are describing your experience of yourself and the world, i.e, your psyche

study stoicism it can help you in difficult things, and how to deal with difficult people
youtube.com/watch?v=dhrKg8_ltyQ

Talking*

Ah What the Fuck this Thread is boring. Listen, OP, if avoiding hurting and upsetting other people had led you to wanting to Kill yourself, Maybe that's a shitty strategy. Lets start with: Why are you so Keen on not upsetting anyone?

On a side note, research indicates most suicide survirors are happy to be alive ten years later. Further, suicidal feelings fluctuate a LOT over Time, just like all moods do. You cant be happy over the same thing for ever, right? Thus, buying Time might be the most important thing for you right now, to let the feelings Come down a bit. Good ways are: hanging out with other people or contacting psychciatric emergencies in the most acute phases. In less acute ones, talking about suicidality with your counxellor is Probably beneficial.

Finally: IF you just begun medicating, feeling worse is completely normal and Will pass.

I'm 33 and have always drunk alone except when drinking with my friend, but I don't really enjoy it, at least most of the time. Alcohol is a depressant and definitely isn't good for someone like me, so I stay away.

As for OP, I agree with someone else in this thread, he needs to keep his mind active anyway he can and stop himself from self deprecation and negative thoughts.

I almost killed myself from loneliness about 3-4 years ago until I met someone online, that lasted 2 years, and finally got a long term job that also only lasted 2 years, but it got me started on a path of improvement. I'm nowhere near normal, not that I want to be, but I'm in a better place. Better from suicide at least.

It gets better op, but how much better it gets depends on you. Start reading, start exercising, start gaming, getting outside. Anything you can do to save yourself and keep your mind active.

These are all Good tips my friend. As for you, get help for your drinking. You seem of at least average IQ, which is Good prognosis. There are Plenty of scientifically proven programs and medicines. The further you wait, the more your Brain is broken down and the Harder it gets to quit, and you obviously cant do it on your own ( which is quite normal).

Note: medications can help you Both with wanting to drink less AND substitute your addiction/self medication with a safer alt

Listen, I will say only one thing:
Life is hard on purpose, it is supposed to challenge you. Ask any old person and they will laugh about everything they had to go through. But what that means is you are not alone. It is not just you who feels alone and unworthy of love. What you can do right now is look at your life and see it as a backstory, as prologue to what is about to come. This life ahead of you that you are ready to leave is your choice to leave. It is full of responsibility and work, but that is what gives it meaning. It is like a nourishing meal for your soul and life. I encourage you to find some books that delve into the more responsibility based spirituality (OSHO, Tolle, Neal Donald Walsh ect). There is a love out there, of course it starts with you, but in the end once you master the self love, you will be so neck deep in pussy you will have to get a snorkel.

Stop killing yourself and start living.