Any interesting stories Sup Forums?

Any interesting stories Sup Forums?

>Be me
>Driving along highway
>Pull off onto side-road
>Roadside breath test
>Cop waves me in
>Miss the cue, wave back at the cop and drive past
>Look in rear view mirror
>He's shaking his head with his face in his palms
>Don't realise until I get chased down, pulled over and handcuffed
>I tell the cops what happened
>Their buddy backs them up
>They piss themselves, breath-test me and let me go

sheit i asidently made hisself a herself

gr8 b8 m8

check'd n kek'd

along the same lines.
spaghetti in my pockets kinda guy.

>temp worker at USPS
>no uniform; just ordinary clothes
>get out of USPS van to deliver mail to a Subway restaurant.
>come back to car
>reach in my pocket for keys
>no keys....
>check all the doors to see if i locked my door
>nope
>look through window to see if i left my keys in the car
>yup
>walk back to subway
>im a temp...i have no phone (this happened in 2004) and i don't know the number to get a hold of my boss (i still don't know how i called him)
>boss upset
>cops roll up
>1st thing that pops into my head is, "hey i think my boss called the cops to unlock my car...cool!"
>walk up to cops
>realize somebody probably called them because of a suspicious mexican was looking at a USPS van
>quickly do a 180 and walk back into Subway (i was a few feet away from the cops when i did this. only way to look more suspicious is if i had started to run)
>cops begin questioning me
>ask for ID
>no ID

Cant green text on phone:(
Be me
driving at 0200 on sat
Cop pulls me over
Routine stop drunk driving peak
Foot stuck in seat belt
Fall face first out of car
"Mr user, been drinking?"
N no sir just fat n clumsy
Cops creases up
Curtasy breathalyser
Blow 0.0
Off home

Fucking tard, add a > before each line

> being this summer

> Thinking you can't greentext on mobile

> Be me
> just found key on new phone
> Key was drop down option
> Kys fag

>Walked in toilet, cop was pissing
>His dick was hard so I sucked it

gay

Alright, I'll keep in line with the cop theme.

>Be me
>Be 20ish and white privilege
>Have autocross competition tomorrow
>Think shitty D-class coupe is super vroom vroom.
>Finish tune up and tire swap
>iamverycool.jpg
>Head out with buddy to "test" the tires.
>Get up to 65 mph in his neighborhood.
>Fly by speedtrap set up by cop.
>See cop immediately as I pass and shit brix
>Pull over before he even pulls out
>Friend flies by him at 45
>Cop pulls out behind friend
>Friend shits bricks but slows down after he passes me.
>Cop pulls behind me instead.

>Still white privilege
>Have good cop experience
>Have keys in hands, both hands on steering wheel
>Roll down window for officer.
>"You'll probably want these?"
>Cop takes keys, asks for Lic. and Reg.
>Hand them over
>Cop says "I'm sure you know exactly why I pulled you over. How fast were you going"
>100% Straight-face and honest "I couldn't tell you exactly"
>Cop: >=| "How bout a guess?"
>Me: "No sir."
>Cop is frustrated. "Wait here..."

>Still white privilege
>Wait 20 minutes, sweating bullets.
>Cop returns
>Takes out Magliteā„¢ . What's that over there?
>"A...A bike sir."
>"Uh hu, and that?"
>"A Driveway"
>"MHM. And that?"
>"A mailbox..."
>"RIGHT. So where does mean we are???"
>"A...Residential area???"
>"YEAH!!! And would you say you mmaaayyyyy have been going DANGEROUSLY fast for the area?"
>"P-p... probably"
>Cop chuckles in disbelief
>"Yeah you fuckin' were. Here's the thing. You flew by me so fast, I didn't have time to get my Radar up, so I don't have any proof of how fast you were going, and you haven't admitted to it outright. Normally, my judgement would be enough to get you for at least careless driving, but being truthful, you look like a good kid that fucked up, and watching you shit yourself when you saw me was the funniest damn thing I've seen all month."
> Hands me my Lic, Reg, and Keys back with his card.
> "Don't do this shit again... Get out of here."
>Walks back to his car.

And that's the story of how white privilege got me out of doing 65 in a 20 with only a warning

Wait, am confused. Is this cop thread or...?

Can you read motherfucker?

similar story
im this guy as well:
>just leaving job at 1am
i loved evening shift jobs because zero fucking cars at night
>i would normally do 70 in a 45 zone
>this night i was doing 90
>see cops
>press brakes and pull over before they even had the chance to turn their lights on
luckily i was 18 and had a clean record and told them i was just leaving my night job
i got a warning
they told me i could go home and post the warning on my refrigerator so my parents could see it

Not required to submit or even stop.

>be me
>driving down to get piss and smokes about 2 in the morning
>get pulled over
>female cop asks me "anything to drink tonight sir"
>autism kicks in
>i want to be polite and use a please or a thanks but i also want to say no ive nothing to drink
>it comes out as "no thanks"
>they laugh
>i go on my way

> be me
> severe autism
> gets pulled up
> autist kicks in
> Reeeeee

cont.?

anyone who does that for a living is the worst humanity has to offer

>be pulled over
>Nothing happens cause I'm white
>Continue with my day

A real human Bran

Go ahead

That's what O.J thought

>be me
>be at pub
>get pissed af
>closing time
>im walking home, its only a few ks but its raining a bit so decide to take a shortcut through cemetary
>fall in grave and cant get out
>go to sleep to sober up
>woken by a thud
>someone else has fallen
>i get up, covered in mud
>put my hand on his shoulder and say "heeelp meee"
>he moves faster than anyone ive seen
>he drops his wallet though
>i pick it up and manage to get out now
>i chase after him yelling "come back, its for youu, its for youuuuu!"
few days later i learn someone got sent to the mental hospital after raving about zombies and demons

you are such a faggot.
just cut your throat.

how?

recovery dubs, nice

Fiction and homosexual

Teenager, parked in a back alley hotboxing the car with a couple buddies. Cop must have seen us, pulled right up in front of us with lights off and we literally didn't even see him until he hit us with the high beams and cherries at the same time, using his bullhorn to tell us to exit the vehicle.

We are shitting bricks, 16-17 years old, and sad to say we ALL lost our shit. Crying, begging, telling the cops our parents were going to kill us, etc.

They search car, find the one tiny joint we had and baggie that had perhaps $5 worth of weed that was it.

Cop clearly didn't want to do the paperwork and dealing with 4 crying middle class white kids. Throws the joint on the ground and says he is going to let us off with a warning, tells my buddy to stomp on the joint and grind it into the pavement.

Buddy does, except joint was right beside a puddle, he hit the puddle more then the joint, and splashed dirty water all up on the cops pants and shirt.

Copy just stares at us, think I see steam coming out his ears, shakes his head, turns around and gets back in his car and drives away, leaving us standing alone in the alley.

Acknowledged dubs
Noice doubles

nope believe it or not its true

not super interesting
>be me
>like 20 probably
>live with parents and would go out most nights and drive around to smoke a bowl or two.
>go to wawa, pack a bowl in parking lot.
>drive around smoking it
>finish, clean it with air out of window
>put it in little bag and into opaque bag. all while driving.
>slowing down at weird spots and kinda drifting
>get pulled over
>officer just tells me that i have a burnt out headlight
>say that im going to get it fixed
>gives me a warning and leaves.

another a couple years later
>now i make spliff-like things
>empty end of cigarette, pack with weed, tear out filter but leave some of the paper for a good mouthpiece.
>smoke a couple of these while on like 2 hour drive.
>hit DUI checkpoint. first one i have ever been in
>"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
>high, worried what my eyes look like, adrenaline pumping, pressing foot against floor to stabilize nerves.
>"Nope" I actually said nope. not no, nope.
>waved me through.

my car has leathery seats and airs out pretty well. it still smells a bit, but i smoke cigarettes and it covers the smell while i am smoking them.

>Be me
>Virgin af
>Go on vacation with sister and her friends
>Drink lots of beer at night
>Decide to go to the swimming pool
>Everyone is there except me and a 9/10
>Asks me to close her bikini
>Tell her its my first time touching a bikini and >im closing it
>She grabs for my dick but hits my balls
>Fuck me that hurt
>She excuses and rubs my dick through pants
>Instant boner
>She is amazed by my size
>Get bj and cum on her face
>Go to pool together
>Morning
>Go for breakfast
>9/10 gone, ask where she has gone
>Turns out she left vacation earlier
>Never saw 9/10 again

interesting stories, not fake stories.

>be me
>find out college isnt for me. drop out
>career I want doesn't need it
>still dating girl who goes there
>goto super chill house party one night
>lots of people
>lots of beer
>lots of good music
>GF has some friends there
>they stay in the same dorm
>Dancing and drinking
>Go out to have a cig, GF and Friend join
>Feeling pretty buzzed from all the cheap beer
>girls have been drinking trashcan punch
>GF and friend are giggling to each other
>I ask em whats up
>GF says that they've tossed around the thought of a 3 way with me
>Asks me what I think
>I say lets get outa here
>go back to GF's dorm
>they both start to take my pants off and share my cock
>shit is so money
>take off the rest of my clothes and lay on the bed
>girls start taking each others clothes as they kiss and grope one another
>friend starts to blow me on the bed
>GF is eating her out from behind
>looking up at ceiling hearing slurping and moaning
>I could die right now and fine with it
>Feel warm all the sudden on my balls,thighs and ass crack
>Look down to see friend puking all over my dick and balls
>smells like death
>friend gets up to run to the bathroom with hand over mouth
>puke spewing every where as she stumbles to get to the toilet
>GF is freaking out and is worried, almost slips on puke
>Friend is now shitting and puking all at once
>2 girls naked in front of me
>I've got puke all over me that isnt mine
>MFW when the party stops cause white girls can't hold their liquor

What makes it fake fag

almost all of it

Checked

kys

this is way german cops have like this red tennis bat like thing with lights. waving means nothing

it also literally sounded like a hostess offering me a drink
I think they thought i was being a smart ass but they didnt mind

F

>be you
>be a rapist