ITT: Dumb things you did on your first day of a job. I'll start.
>Be 24
>Just got a job at local supermarket
>Boss is called Joan
>Gives me her number for emergencies
>Halfway through day, all good
>Get super fucking horny
>Text girlfriend Jane
>"Can't wait to come home and smash your fucking beatiful ass bby'
>Mfw I sent it to Joan
>Mfw she's 10 feet away from me
>Mfw I realise I'm going to have to resign
...
Prepared a bucket to mop the ceiling. It was dirty. I would have done it. Til I got laughed at.
that dudes pretty cool, what's cringe about it
tfw thick but no still would berry mccokiner
dublel wao
An excellent post
I genuinely had to mop walls at work once when the production line was down for my whole 12hr shift. We ran out of cleaning to do but I was not losing my fucking pay.
not nearly as bad os OP but
>be 15
>working as a dishwasher, place just opened
>they just tell me to get to work
>that's it
>start washing dishes by hand
>there was a huge machine next to me but I genuinely did not see it
>keep washing shit by hand
>they notice and explain there's a fuckin machine right next to me
they probably thought I was acoustic at first
>see ad in classifieds
>"Computer expert needed to manage our website. Contact (Blank's) Butchery by (this phone number)
>Call, get the job without an interview. Hired me the moment I said I could program, didn't even have to mention my degree
>Go in next day with nice shirt, slacks, bowtie because I'm a massive faggot.
>The whole place looks like a relic from 1962
>Old dried up lady reveals herself as manager to me. She's wearing full casual clothes.
>Directs me to a 1995 Windows POS cream colored potato computer, it's 2010 btw
>She has me set up their fucking Weebly page. (For those who have been spared the horrors of Weebly, it's basically a tumblr for businesses and school teachers)
>Done in 5 minutes. She takes me out to the room where they kill the animals, hands me a blood stained smock and cleaver
>Spend the rest of the day and that week mutilating chickens
>Quit after first paycheck.
>Acoustic
you're supposed to wash the dishes by hand, then put them in the machine. whoever worked there were probably just lazy fucks
...
yeah but you can just hose it off with warm water most of the time. I actually cleaned and dried shit by hand
checked
i purposely said acoustic instead of autistic...
Just because you did it intentionally doesn't make it any less funny.
started to work as a truck driver (just as a helper) .. I needed to load a 2 ton machine part.. drove away.. after I take the first curve that part on my truck tipped over because I didn't fasten that thing... worst day ever, people almost got killed.. I quit the first day I started
> dumbest thing you did on the first day of a job
Got fired
>jokes onthem I was only pretendding to b retarted hurr durr
>be me
>first say as teacher in elementary school
>girl in class a instant 10/10
>have personal conversation after school
>let her sit on my dick
>stand up to lock the doors
>repositioning her on my dick
>ask her basic questions
>think to myself shes 8yo she doesnt know about sex
>after i know she doesnt know
>try to uncloth my dick and rub it on her
>get my hand do the rest
>cum on her butt and give her a good close hug and a kiss on her lips
>tell her she can go now
>i got home and see this thread
>type my shit what happened to me today
Fired from sending a text:
>be me, 22
>job building racing boats for psychotic rich fag
>richfag hides all materials after 5p and rents same warehouse for Zumba class
>people inhaling fiberglass and resin while exercising
>auschwitz.jpg
>text girlfriend “Richfag is a fucking retard, doing a bunch of illegal shit and paying me next to nothing”
>text sent to boss on accident
>richfag confronts me, pays me what he owes me and tell me to fuckoff
>first day on le Sup Forums better greentext some edgy shit
>hurr durr xd
What sorcery is this Sup Forums?
...
And why the fuck haven't you bought it for nothing yet?
>be me
>be 15 years
>also worked as a dishwasher at local restaurant
>boss is an asshole, let's secondary chef do all the work while he sits at his desk watching random videos
>suddenly get call
>its my boss
>tells me i hid dishes so i could stop earlier
>mfw its thursday and i work on fridays
>tell him it couldn't be me
>says i'm full of shit and fires me on the spot
>mom calls him saying that she'll call social security etc if he doesn't pay me what he owes me
>obliges and gave me the money
>me and a couple of friends take a piss in his car tank
the restaurant went bankrupt and the dude commited suicide.
How is this a dumb thing you did on the first day of your job?
nevermind it user, he came through with a pretty funny story
Not a first day on the job story but similar.
>applying for internships in college
>never been to job interviews before
>have anxiety which always make me feel like I have to shit
>go into conference room for interview
>3 person panel... Super nervous
>do okay with the introductions
>suddenly my stomach rumbles and I rip a huge fart
>uncomfortablesilence.jpg
>with a completely straight face I ask the guy who was last speaking "was it you?"
Why did you *have* to resign, tho?
that shit was easy to use like 2 years ago. now its a fucking nightmare
>acoustic
Well stop playing acoustic guitar when you should be working and maybe they won't stare at you.
Jesus what a fucking tool... I seriously hope this is bate. I refuse to believe that anyone is this fucking dumpy and unfunny.
H-Happy Ending..
I used to work in the production kitchen for a local restaurant and we had to do the ceiling and walls every night. Good on you user
And I refuse to believe anyone is this much of a fucking asshole and yet here you are.
...Jerk.
I threw up at an interview once, that was fun. I didn't get the job.
I would have hired you on the spot. Anyone who throws up during an interview has got to have some balls. Big balls.
We need more people like you in this company. You got the job, Steven.
d..did you get the job?
>Be 21
>Had been working with a valet parking company for a while
>They will send me to one of their partner locations for a day to see if I'm a good fit there.
>Get told by the other valet workers that this particular location is horrible, and that I must do a bad job so as not to get sent back there.
>no problem
>The day comes, and I ride out from our location to the other location with two other young valet buddies.
>I tell them to stop at a gas station, and I get a 4-pack of Steel Reserves
>Chug two of them right before getting to the place.
>We get a tour of the place, and I'm pretty wasted.
>Walk through some bushes and walk around with twigs and leaves in my hair.
>The manager asks, "Why do you have leaves in your hair?" I just laugh.
>Old people who drop off their cars with me are all horrified as I make the tires squeal and smoke every time I pull out.
>Supervisor tells me to stop doing that.
>Keep doing it.
>Get in a nice car. My kind of car.
>Instead of parking it, blast classical music and drive around for at least 15 minutes.
>Start getting followed by someone.
>Drive around trying to lose him for 15 more minutes.
>Finally stop.
>He talks really tough to me, looks like he wants to kill me.
>Continue doing the day's work.
I was not sent back
just said acoustic as a meme you fags jesus christ
>>Done in 5 minutes. She takes me out to the room where they kill the animals, hands me a blood stained smock and cleaver
Nope. would have resigned on the spot.
Alright mate calm down.
No need to get all acoustic over it.
>Be 24
>Just got a job at local supermarket
See there's the first dumb thing you did right there sonny
we believe you...
>>meme
>>>meme
Yes. Mainly because I was well qualified. As far as the fart after I realized what I had just done I couldn't help but laugh which broke the tension and they thought I was just being funny. Pretty decent guys actually. I'm lucky there wasn't a lady there.
For a moment it sounded like the valets who told you the place was shit were just lying so you wouldn't transfer or something
You fucking leave Ashens outta this.
All I did was make a bad joke and you called me dumpy and unfunny.
So you can just eat mah ass.
>>>>meme
to clarify I'm the guy that said acoustic first ( ) and I did not post this ( )
It may not have been you, but somebody here needs to eat my ass.
>>>>>
>Acoustic
it may not have been me indeed, but I still want to eat your ass
>implying that >>> >>>>> >>
I shit my pants on the first day of my current job.
>Be 24
>Job as a forklift driver in a warehouse.
>Gf had blueballed and teased me all night and morning so she could "rock my world" when I got home from my first day.
>Around 1pm, her pics she was sending throughout the day became too much so I dart to the bathroom.
>Bathrooms empty, get to the final stall and lock the door and get down to business.
>Close eyes and really lay into it, just beat the every living shit out of it.
>Finally finish, my eyes slowly open to see 4 coworkers looking into the stall, 1 was female.
I still work there, but man they gave me hell for weeks. Glad they kept it to themselves.
pretty cool that they kept it to themselves, that's rare
>Sat down to interview for engineering position
>Manager was Russian who spoke with thick accent
>Could hardly understand what the fuck he was saying but got job anyways
>Show up for first day and get lined up on job by Russian dude
> Still wondering what the fuck he said, but get to work anyways
>Russian dude stops by my desk several times during morning to see how I was doing
> Start getting pissed so go outside to have a smoke
> Bunch of other managers notice me walk out and begin talking and looking at me hard as I walk back in
>Just before lunch get fired. Didn't even make it the full day.
Been there for 2 years now. If one of em see's me go into the bathroom,sometimes they'll beat on my stall and ask if i'm ok, and if I need assistance.
To be fair, they were looking into a bathroom stall so I dont think it would be me in trouble. Live n let live though, i'm still embrased as fuck.
...that, and I found out I get a thrill doing things in public now.