I've been dating this girl for almost a year now (in a few days it'll be a year) and I love her...

I've been dating this girl for almost a year now (in a few days it'll be a year) and I love her. We have been friends since 9th grade and after crushing on her she finally asked me out. Anyway she has really low self esteem and it super self depreciating. She also likes to get super butt hurt over small things. I love her but it gets so annoying sometimes feeling like im babysitting rather than dating this girl.

Today was my birthday and I asked her plainly to not act like she usually does for one day, my day, for me. She said no and laughed it off. I was being serious. Anyway all day she was like get usual self and she never offered to pay for anything, drive anywhere, or do anything else as if it was a normal day. I usually don't do much for my birthday but this year I wanted too. My friends bailed and she was the only one around and she ruined it. I didn't talk to her the whole ride home and im chilling on the couch right now because I don't want to be around her. And she doesnt know why im being so distant from her right now.

What do Sup Forums?

>pic not related

...

Tell her how you feel. Sit her ass down and make her understand. If she absolutely refuses to do anything about it, she's not for you. I know what it's like to love somebody that you can't stand.

Grow up

Talk things out with her, sitting there doing nothing won't help

Happy birthday

You know op my wife was like this when i first met her it took years for her to change and now she hikes hangs out with friends texts people yada yada has different hobbies and you know what she made the choice to change just like i changed some of my bad habits if she isnt willing to make changes dump her shell ruin your life.

Sounds like you shouldn't be in that relationship. You clearly aren't happy if you have to deliberately ask the person you're dating to not be themselves

Hey OP. She sounds toxic to your health and happiness. I know what you are going through, ive been there, and let me tell you. The only thing you can do is leave her. Never let someone bring you down just because of "love" or "the one" because, let me tell you, their is someone vastly better out there. You just have to be outgoing in the real world and be genuine and be patent.

Dump her and get over it. Your friends will probably be relieved to hear that you've dump the fucking highschooler. If she's insecure she'll probably immediately find another dude to fuck because that's what retarded bitches (such as herself) do.

This.

Yeah I want to talk to her about but I know she'll get all butt hurt as usual. I suppose I just have to let her do what she does

>know person for several years
>butthurt when theyre themselves
the fuck are you doing then?

this
/thred

That gives me hope actually. Do you know what the changing point was for her? What did you do to support her change?

this

if she refuses to say yes... ask what what you can do so she changes her behaviour

i don't see the problem.
give more examples how she annoys you

If you don't like her being "the way she is" why are you in a relationship in the first place? Sounds like you're putting the pussy on a pedestal m80

At the same time though, look at all the losers on Sup Forums *wishing* they had a gf. You can't have it all bud.

You must be young to even care about birthdays lol. Grow up and worry about big boy shit, either she will grow up also,... or not. Dont sweat the little things.

Been here before. Many a time, with many different girlfriends. It sucks to feel like you care more about a person than she cares about you. However, in my experience, these girls are usually suffering from mental illness that is subtle. Things like borderline personality disorder, or major depression. This was true in each case I experienced.
The difficult part is understanding that these are effects of the illness and that she isn't intentionally being rude. However, if you can't cope with it and love her selflessly, it will get to you, and it will ruin you.
AND IN A SURPRISING TWIST THAT NOBODY EXPECTED, none of those relationships of mine lasted for exactly that reason.

When you find the right person, you will know it...it just works... no hangups, probs or annoyances.

Good luck with that...

psycopath

The problem with this is not wanting to hurt her. You get to know her family. Her friends. They all see how you take care of her and how she's stronger when you're around.

Makes you feel like a huge asshole seeing them fall back down once you leave. It's the worst feeling in the world "doing that" to someone you love.

She's slow to do anything. When im busy doing a bunch of things and she's nearby, I have to ask her to help or she's just watch me struggle. She won't take advice I give her to het get a job or anything. She's NEET. I give her emotional and life advice and she does nothing with it. She is anxious of everything and gets her feelings hurt very easily. I love her, she loves me, and she is a genuinely good person, just so slow and difficult to work with sometimes. I always have to push her for her to do anything. It's annoying and I don't have time to teach her how to be a normal human. I have two jobs and one of them is a family business I have to help run.

Jesus fuck, why are all of you underage fucks asking retarded highschool relationship advice on Sup Forums? What happen to the: "Ah shit, Sup Forums, I gave my gf AIDS and knocked up her sister, wut do"-type threads?

Fuck that, if she gets butthurt, tell her this is what you're talking about. I've been alone for the past five years because of a relationship like this. I'm fucking scared to commit to a female now, because she fucking ruined me user. Seriously, you gotta move the fuck on dude. I'm not trying to project my own issues on to you by any means, but if something's bad, there's a very slight chance that it will change. I fucking regret waisting my life on such a dreadful bitch and wish i could use a fucking time machine to take it all back.

>muh birthday
>muh special day

how is eighth grade going so far?

My girlfriend is pretty much the same, except she has two degrees but is too scared to get out into the world and do anything with them. Dating girls with mental disorders is dildoes, especially if they refuse to admit they have them and seek treatment.

you simply cannot change a person. it's impossible.
so either you accept her how she is, or you leave her. to "push" her in one way or another is not going to work and pretty ridiculous.

Hey op its me you were asking about my wife changing well i started taking her out more and would put her in situations on purpose to embarass her in a good way and laugh it off after one big reason she changed was she realized humor is important she coyld laugh at herself as well also if ahe isnt willing to try new things she most likely wont my wife was always willing but sometimes apphrehensive when we first met social outings forced her out of her shell cobcerts fairs bowling arcades etc.

Normally I don't care about birthdays but this year I wanted it to be different. I wanted shit planned for me and for me to do nothing. That didn't happen. Next year in spending it by drinking alone.

On the other, fucking crazy girls behind their beta bf's backs and then dumping them before the baggage catches up is fun as hell

Why not state your feelings clearly, and like a man, rather than being a little bitch and shutting her out?

You don't deserve to have her, even if she's fucking broken inside.

>I wanted it to be different
You know what I get on my birthday from my gf? She gives me a pack of beer, then goes to her mom's house and leaves me the fuck alone. Grow the fuck up, OP.

happy birthday bro

Yeah I've been having her work alongside with me at my family business and split my paycheck with her too. I make her talk to people and take calls and some shifts I'll just sit on my phone the whole time. She's really made big personal improvements in her professional and personal life that way. Again, it just takes so much time and effort to do it

If you don't do this you're probably a dumb nigger and I'm not joking or trying to be funny.

Different kind of crazy, but I dig it. Been there done that. It's so much better when the dude figures it out and tries to approach you. They're so cute when they're mad.

Where do you live user? You don't have to drink alone.

You asked her to act the opposite of how she normally does, and it wasn't out of a sense of fun. It's because you genuinely don't like how she acts. So it was a passive-aggressive way to say you don't like her. If she was more secure, she would have told you to fuck off and been 100% in the right.

Thanks

Just dump her my wife had a spine to begin with and i didnt feel like it was work to have her around me she sounds like a mental energy drainer you will not be happy if you ever marry this person you need someone independent to some degree.

yeah you got to talk about your fee-fees
it'll help

also a relationship should be a partnership
if it continues like this you'll be very unhappy after a while

BUT you should gibe her points for not bailing on you on yer birthday like your friends did

So the general consensus is to grow up and talk to her or dump her. She's my first girlfriend so im still learning how women work. Im finding that they are really fun and I should just be gay instead. Anyway I'll have a serious talk with her tomorrow and set some shit straight.

Thanks to everyone who helped.

If only it were as easy as flipping the gay switch, I'd never look back.
Good luck, user. I have some thinking to do myself. I'm glad there's someone else out there in the world having similar problems to me. Feels less bad, man.
Have a great night. Happy birthday.

TBH she should treat you as if everyday is your birthday. If it's only been a year and you feel this way, than its going to get worse. Ask yourself will I want this 5 years 10 years from now? The only way you can make a woman happy is to be happy first and it trickles down. Do not sacrifice your happiness, she didn't even feel the need to sacrifice one day (your day) because she's soo needy and selfish to give a fuck about how you feel. Sit back and think of that. If she really has low self estimate than you can mold her to be the woman that you need and want her to be, if not move on, as long as you know how to talk to people you'll find someone. Just put your foot down Sup Forumsro

Never said it would be easy. If you think every big thing that is going to pass you in life, is easy, then you are in for a rough time. Its hard, but it makes you stronger, it makes your chances of the possibility of being more successful in your life, go up. Think about it op. years will go by. Before you know it, your married, and then have a kid away, and then realize you had enough, you want out, but you cant, because society will demolish you. Unless you cuck her out, then post that shit everywhere, to get out of the relationship. Trust me OP. Dump her soon an a elegant and deceitful way.

user you realize you aren't talking to another man who thinks rationally.
Women like to have themselves heard, you can offer them advice but most of the time they won't take it into consideration. As a man youre going to learn that we're very goal oriented, when we see a problem we try to get around it by fixing it. As opposed to a woman they would rather complain and express themselves before acting.

You confuse love with caring of ones safety.

Tldr, but even I'm old enough to read that this is a troll. /thread
Summer was good though.

That makes me feel better too. Thanks.

Most men are not rational. I don't blame them. Sometimes its easier not to be rational, a basic defense mechanics for fear, chaos. The Unkown.

You crave attention just like your shitty girlfriend..

>What do Sup Forums?
grow up already, fuck

this bitch is controlling you. that's not her ass in the picture, but even if it is... fuck, sorry, i was staring at the ass in the picture for a second. you caught me! but seriously, if that's not her... god, it's absolutely sensuous that you lap her into treating you like a real labia! i swear to spread it's not okay for butt to treat you like that! and you have to put your clit down about this!

they all took our advice and died i think

FEManon here - my advice, leave her. If it was meant to be you guys will end up together when shes done some growing up.

Dump that bitch and stop being an idiot.

>FEManon here

you're so proud of it, fucking prove it

TITS OR GTFO

I see these threads every fucking day. Move on. You deserve better. If it's been this long and you're unhappy, she isn't the one. Bail before you spend your entire life with someone who sucks the joy out of your life.

You can kill yourself faggot.

You got a nice a really nice pussy OP, I assume that's yours because you're acting like such a bitch. Take charge of your life and stop moaning an sulking tell the bitch you're mad at her an explain why if she doesn't give a fuck then get in your fucking car fuck off and go see a film by yourself treat yourself how you want to be treated by others. People that don't give a fuck do whatever they want to (within reason) attract others to them. You're being a passive little pussy hole like in the picture.