Can I have some shitty room mate stories?

Can I have some shitty room mate stories?
Currently renting and I am desperate to see how these assholes measure in comparison to others.
Will post stories/info.
>renting a single bedroom in a house in the ghetto for $800.
>pic slightly related

bomp because intrest

bumpus

Roommate got mad that I ate his chocolates. He took a shit on my bed and when I climbed under my covers a piece of turd landed on my cheek.

You live in Nyc?
I pay 650 for a room, and my roomates kick ass. Some are off, but others are nice and ones my age and games. We get drunk and he sometimes brings some blow by. Dont have many shitty stories about my past roomates.

What you do

I sucked his dick one time

I feel like there was some kind of development in-between that and him taking a shit in your bed

Lul

>op said he'd post shitty room mate stories
>it's been 25 minutes and he hasn't posted a single one

I ate some dove chocolates he had left out. He came home and I heard him looking for them and he knew that I ate them. He's very passive aggressive. I had no idea that he would shit in my bed.

but the dick suck...

>Roommate and I getting drunk one night
>roommate dares me to jack off
>laughing our heads off as I jack him and cum goes everywhere
>mfw we didn't realise my gf had let herself into the house with the spare keys just in time to see me get face full of cum
>no homo

why did you eat his chocolates

I was drunk. I've never even sucked a dick before. Just horny as fuck. Didn't really enjoy it. He didn't say much about it. He's not gay either.

sucking some dudes dick because you're horny is pretty fucking gay

Because I couldn't resist. Dove chocolates are fucking delicious. I think he baited me with them.

haha don't worry guys I was only pretending to be gay

>Merely pretending.jpg

Yeah I've banged chicks. So I sucked his dick and after that he got all weird and emo. Kept talking about wanting me to go to a lake house with him. After the chocolates and the shit in the bed I moved out.

Shiting in your bed is not passive-aggressive. Thats just straight up aggressive.
Fight fire with fire.
Go leave a turd in the dryer.

I got a new roommate now. Thinking about this now kinda makes me wanna try and suck his dick too. No homo

Eating someone's chocolates is actually a shitty thing to do.
Leaving chocolates in someone's bed is also pretty shitty.
So the question is, were you just shitty at sucking his chocolate dick?

We are in the process of kicking one out as we speak. Bitch doesnt flush to toilet.. ever. Doesnt clean up after her pets (have to re-do the whole floor ((hard wood)) because she left cat shit and piss there for months) Cat shit and piss all over my other room-mates college thesis portfolio, tries to have a job as a "Dog Groomer" brings home all sorts of fucking pets and shaves them, fur everywhere. Has an annoying parrot that just screams 24/7, doesnt clean shit and has a different guy over fucking every goddamn day.

Oh, and hasnt paid rent or utilities in 5 months

Is that just your go to response. "Well fuck, I'm autistic and don't know how to make my living arrangement more comfortable. I know, to break the ice I'll SUCK HIS FUCKING DICK"

damn, yea fuck that cunt

Great Icebreaker.

The fucker is eating all or my hot pockets. FUCK WHY CANT HE BUY HIS OWN DAMN HOT POCKETS

There is more... way more. Like how she borrowed my room-mates van to go do her whole grooming shit. Just got 13 fines in the mail from her not paying anything on toll roads.

Moar

Not that room-mate but had one get shit-faced drunk. and he really wanted to barbecue. Down side it was hailing like a mother fucker.. So what happens? He goes outside and starts grilling.. nude... in the middle of a hail storm.

We took turns holding an umbrella over him to try and help, dude makes some damn good food even if he is a little crazy.

>living with a grill and a mate of mine
>rents due today
>they send me their half a few days before rent day
>I pay it so it's all one sum the way the landlord likes it
>occasionally have to wait for housemates rent to appear in my account
>I normally just clear my account and have to pay it all each month and have to wait for their halves to come in so I can afford to live

>be today, rent day
>haven't received grills portion of the rent yet but barely have enough to pay it all anyway
>she says she's transferred it from her end
>pay it, literally have 00.30 left in my account

Surely there must be a better way to do this?

You anons talking about this got me to wondering about an old roomate I used to have that was an aggressive drunk who tried to fight me.
Googlie, googlie ...Found out he's dead.
MFW

This post.
That Jpeg
The only post worthy of mention here. That is all.

One stole from me on daily basis. Would get embarrassed one time I walked in the room and she was looking at my hanging clothes in the closet

Lol jokes on you!

Apparently. And as usual.

Remove its existance from life so no one else has to deal with it. Unless you can palm her down to people you hate somehow.

Best part is she is in the middle of a divorce and wants us to be character witnesses for her.
I plan on telling everyone exactly what i think, cant wait to hear her ex laughing his ass off when i say what i have to say

>no homo
My sides

imagine being this new

This

>slav plebs for housemates
>house constantly smells of stale beer and grilled cheese
>watches rick and morty on yuuge soundsystem at 4am
>always accusing everyone of racism
>listens to brostep and reggae
>can't conjugate
>steady stream of slavs everyday talking ancient memes
>won't shut up about glorious based slav shitholes

brexit can't come quick enough

but that sounds like an awesome roomate

Stayed with a mate of mine's over summer break due to a financial aid fuckup that left me homeless for four months. Dude was cool, bit of a manipulative control freak, but his roommate was a fucking slob. Like, 400lbs of the best way to describe it is pond troll. Would shave his back and balls in the shower and clog it up. Believes in "socialism", ie: everyone does everything for him and he reaps the benefits. Left food to mold in his room for three months, and stole our half of the bills that were in his name for the four months, causing repo men to come fucking knocking on the door looking for his ass. Like, we were giving him 300 a month and he was paying 100 towards power and ignoring the others. Pretty sure he had a collection of trilbys and at least four katanas.

I had one that killed himself while I was out all week. Came home to his stinky corpse in the loungeroom. What a cunt.

Get blow job as interest from grill mate

top kek

>no homo

>be me
>have multiple roommates
>Have party one night
>Me an bros pass out in my room
>wake up next morning to roommate pitching a fit
>he stepped in human shit
>mfw no one left my room that night
>mfw he stepped in his own shit and tried to blame it on everyone else

In my experience people who complain about housemates "overreacting" over stolen food tend to be asshole manbabies who think it's cool to help themselves to other people's stuff as long as they leave you some.

In LA i payed that much to share a fucking room. He was cool, but his burps really fucking annoyed me.