Stupid shit you've done

Stupid shit you've done

>be me
>lost voice to where I could only make wheezing sounds
>hungry af
>go to family owned burger place
>8/10 working register
>go up and smile at her
>"hey what can I get you"
>pull out pen and wright down what I want on napkin
>she thinks I'm deaf and starts using sign language
>gesture that I can hear, just can't talk
>"oh! Your mute, I got it. My bad."
>she rings me up
>she talks to me with me just nodding and writing down stuff
>asks for my number
>wut
>give her number
>end up going on several dates pretending to be mute
>few weeks later she gets mad about something I did
>bitches for an hour
>I stand up and say "eat ass you cunt"
>hfw

I wonder if she still talks shit about me.

bamp

Ha

>Be me
>In high school
>Have girlfriend
>Things are going good
>Start losing more and more sleep
>Talk to her on jewbook
>End up only 3 to 4 hours sleep for the past 6 months
>One night on jewbook
>trying to explain the difference between music that has meaning and music that has no meaning
>Brain can't compute
>End up sounding like some kinda cunt
>Ends with me just saying
>No you can't listen to bad music
>You have to chose
>Good music or bad
>She dropped out of school and whet to home school
>Ended up ghosting each other because of it
>Every now and then want to die because of how fucking autistic i sounded

Bumping with green text to see if anyone's got a good story

nogood stoies myself butt fuck it ill post someone elses as well to bump for OC

Do you faggots get off on making up bullshit stories? And I do mean literally, do you get off on this ridiculous shit or what? This is fucking embarrassing and I hope you both die horrible deaths.

I taste salt

i once knew a guy who told me all kinds of stories about his life from travels to asia and europe to living on the streets here in the US to fucking hot women in spain and all kinds of cool shit

He was camping out in some run down "national" park in the middle of fucking west virginia dying of cancer with almost no money to his name

to be completely honest chances are most of his stories (if not all) were probably bullshit but when it comes to stories does that really matter in the end

is it really important wether or not the stories are made up as long as the stories are good stories?

I don't know about OP but my story is real and i was as autistic as it sounded.
I'm just not saying she dropped out because of me, She already planned on dropping out and doing home school. But telling that wouldn't make for a good retard story

Chill out man, it's the internet, we come here to forget our shitty lifes outside our rooms, not investigate every little bullshit story.

You sir I like

You remember any of his wiled tails

Cock sucka

Yes it does matter. This is the problem right here people are fucking pussies. Making up bullshit stories is unforgivable. In some cultures you get killed for that shit. I have no respect for people who blatantly lie like this it's an embarrassment and exactly why this country is going to fucking shit.

McFucking kill yourself holy shit

God damn nibba

>Making up bullshit stories is unforgivable
Someone never read the disclaimer at the top of the page.

>Making up bullshit stories is unforgivable
>In some cultures you get killed for that shit
In what culture, You have africans talking about some mud god who shits rain for their crops, Indians who believe in jinn, Hinduism who belive a cow is sacred.
So tell us all knowing being where can you be killed for telling a folk tail.

Not sure if Story should be on here but anyway this is how I wealsed out of trouble with ex and her noods
>be me
>in high school
>asking ex for noods
>she sends legs
>ight it's something
>start asking for tits
>she sends them
>DearLordy.jpg
>she has a nice rack
>being the faggot I do old trick to save pics without causing suspicion
>Get old little phone
>when she sends them I take pic with small phone
>success.exe
Cont?

no

Okay

>be me
>feel like I'm covered in salty as hell
>old man, age 32
>horny af, but have ED.
>let me tell you, I fucking loved dinosaurs as a kid
>went to mcdonalds
>asked the girl at the front if I can have like 5 double quarters pounders because i amerifat
>after I talk with her, I noticed how kawaii she wuz 10/10
>She looks like a black richard simmons
>get hung like a tenontosaurus(its like 2.5 in laments terms)
>"Oh, its adorable!"
>Never felt so humiliated, but also moist. probably the swamp ass residue from my anal cavities
>This was my only chance to lose my V card, I don't even give a fuck if there's a group of children that got back from a mission's trip watching
>i use my flabby arms to pick handsome lady up
>pointless.jpg
>she did all the work, her loud sexy cackles resonated through the store as everybody looked in surprise, but that was nothing.
> My finishing to my T-rex roar which made everybody's ears bleed and cracked the windows from my virgin screech
>I walked out and proceeded to shove the chinese made burgers up my asshole
>best day ever...

user, swear to baby jesus this is true and this happened to me!

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
leave

Hey that sounds a lot like my buddy Fred, fred is that You?

>be in middle school
>decide to run away from home for no apparent reason with friend
>middle of winter
>lolfuckit.jpg
>get to other side of town by using creek that runs beside town
>amber alert was almost sent out
>soaking wet and almost hypothermic
>had a little food but not much
>friends parents spot us running across a country road and forcefully pick us up
>police don't arrest us
>suspended from school
>went to juvenile court
>judge asks me why I did it
>My dumbass tells him I was bored and felt like it
>friend says the same thing basically
>don't have to go to juvenile prison
>stay suspended from school for two weeks
>no one at school even cared that we were missing

Pretty much a huge waste of time, we achieved literally nothing but frostbite and exhaustion. We didn't even get very far.

come on user dont leave us with blue balls

That's fucking awesome

Thanks you for the compliment, but I'm Teddy.

>be me
>be best friends with a hot and innocent girl
>be best friends also with a cool surfer type dude
>we all live on the same block and I introduce them. No chemistry with each other but they're both good looking.
>they become good friends too and the 3 of us start hanging out.
>I'm really into her and I ask her out
>"sorry, we're really good friends and I don't want to risk ruining our relationship"
wellllllfuck.jpeg
>my friend asks her out a week later
>she says "yes"
They split up after a few months and then she asked me out.
I couldn't bring myself to say yes.
>I really regret that as one of the biggest fuck ups of my life

Bump

Kek

Cont.
>Get a good amount of tits from ex
>forget about this later on
>bring small phone to show my friend
>friend says noice
>Am in little art room
>so few people are let in here
>being stupid showed my other ex of second ex tits (this may be reason I got caught but not sure)
>gives me that look like really billy
>laugh it off
>later in the day or week
>Get snap from ex saying why did you show it?
>think to my self and say What?
>she tells me that I spread her tit pics everywhere
>Am shocked that she found out but also baffled on how she knows that
>Ask her how did see know that?
>doesn't say but said she heard it from a friend that was in art that heard it from the door
>bull mallarky
>welp shit
>say she is very hurt about this
>Idc but them racks were nice while it lasted
>doesn't speak to me
>friend starts saying how I'm gonna fix this
>tell them I might have a way
>tell ex that saw Tits to tell her that I didn't spread them around
>she does
>later on she comes back to me and says that it's done
>later ex with racks snaps me if what ex that saw Tits was true and I said yes
>she says to never do that again
>mfw I got scotch off free from that
Am surprised this shit didn't blew up in my face but shit was fun
High school drama is fun

OP here, story is 95% true. The part I fudged a little was that she was actually like a 6/10. I'm terrible at talking to women so I pretended to be mute so I didn't actually have to talk to her.

So you never read fiction eh? You twat.

Kek

I did this to a girl in junior high and felt pretty bad
>Cool girl asks me out
>S-sorry i'm just not ready to date yet
>Cool girl: O-okay that's fine
>About 30 minutes later the same day
>Another girl asks me out
>I says yes
>After the weekend
>Find out cool girl was crying and is sad
>She never hangs out with with me our group of friends again
>end up breaking up with girl after a few days
>tfw i was the asshole who friended zoned a cute girl

More like you dodged a bullet there. That would've been an awkward as hell relationship. Don't recommend dating someone your friend has dated.

>this may be reason I got caught but not sure
It was her, She sold you out user

>be me, autistic high schooler
>steal friends lock and put it on low hanging emergency fire sprinkler
>friend tells me to give it back
>rip it off with the sprinkler cap
>cause 1000s of dollars of damage to the school and get everyone a day off
>get off scot free

Got another story this be a lil one
>be me
>be 9 or 10 don't remember
>in parents room
>doing kids stuff
>hear a buzzing noise
>le gasp
>yellow fucker bug is around
>always being stung by them
>plus also little scaredy pants
>eyes on target
>lands on window that looks at a shed
>bright idea
>get shoe off
>gonna kill you fucker
>have perfect aim
>Chuck shoe where yellow jacket is at
>hits target but there is a catch
>shoe breaks window
>ohshitIdunGoofed.jpg
>mom walks in says what the fuck
>sees me looking at a window that was broken
>tell her a bee was there
>gives me that look
>Don't get in that much trouble
>mfw I broke a window trying to kill a yellow jacket
Also funny thing we never got that lil window fixed we just have a piece of board and towel covering it

That's what my reasoning is and my friend said that she sold me out but fuck I got off free so no big whoop

> be me
> 18 and working shit job, nights at home depot
> on Friday night's would go eat at IHOP for lunch
> sit down and wait for waitress
> waitress is hot as fuck
> takes my order and starts to talk to the only other people eating their
> hear her say that's she fucked every guy that has worked at IHOP
>Me thinks to myself fuck I gotta get a job at IHOP
>after a few seconds notice all three of them looking at me
> mfw I realize I said that out loud

you broke up over music opinions? wtf

>le gasp
You don't belong here

That's a Reddit thing?! Fuck

Ive been saying that all this time

Niggas do that shit, I've seent it!

Stop saying it or become tumblr incarnate

Someone cap this for cringe thread

Eh I'll try but I'll probbaly will still use it, at least I don't have a Tumblr account if I remember, and am positive I stay away from both

Also a recent one
>married a Japanese chick
>she was super hot and sexy when we were dating but once we got married shit changed
>go without sex for months on end and she all but ignores me
>I live with her and her parents in japan after already having led a decent life in my own country.
>I'm fucking down as fuck
>one of my my student's mum is quite hot
>her English is great and I confide in her and tell her things with my wife are not so good
>she tells me she split with her husband coz he punched her
>she starts waiting for me after school and we walk to the train station together sometimes holding hands
>i go to her house to help set up her daughters piano
>have a few beers....nothing happens
>go to a restaurant a few weeks later at the end I kiss her and she's a great kisser.
It's like real 50/50 both of us reading each other, pure passion
My wife can't kiss at all
>a few weeks later my wife is pregnant
> I still try to flirt with her but she's having none of it
>I move schools and start fresh with my wife
>I still text her every so often but still she's having none of it. Sometimes I mention the kiss or that I want to be with her
>my wife syncs our phones
>I send a message telling her some gossip about some ex teachers of the school
>kinda diss my wife a little in the text but only a little


>I receive the same message back that I just sent..... but it's from my wife

Luckily I managed to blag my way out of it. And I deleted all the other shit from my phone. I'm now trying to be a better person

"On Friday nights I'd go and eat lunch"
Alien detected
What dimension are you from?

Is is her vagina side ways?

>I don't have a Tumblr account
>if I remember
So your saying theirs chance I mean you might already be one if them

Not one of the snowflakes
But made it for the cool pokemans drawings
Only went on it for like here and there and I just completely abandoned it, this was all prior before me finding about this place

>be me
>19, virgin, only kissed one girl
>texting back and forth with 6/10
>tells me shes having a party the next night and that I should come over and stay the night
>omgitshappening
>go to work next day, eat panda express lunch, then go to my buddies after to pregame
>down half a fifth of black velvet and two 22oz beers
>get the text I've been waiting for telling me to come over
>friends stay so I'm the only one walking over
>get lost and call her for directions outside a high school
>uh oh, stomach acting up. I'm gonna puke
>wait. No. Not this
I fucking blow out my boxers with so much liquid shit it runs down my leg
>quick thinking, take shorts off, take boxers off behind bush. Clean myself with dirty boxers, throw them away
>go to girls house
>drink more and get near blackout
>she sucked my dick but due to whiskey I never got off

I laugh about it now but boy that was bad

We totally believe you, buddy.

>be 5
>backdoor is a clear glass window
>so clean that not even adults could tell wether it was open or shut
>run full speed at back door window
>broke my nose

I still have a fucked up nose from all those years ago.

>And today on shit that never happend

Same user. I have another one.

>be 5
>mom used to have this old paper mache glode with every country on the map
>not a cheap globe, it had printing on it and everything
>spin the glode on its axis with my finger lightly sliding the glode
>finger stops at the country of Niger
>Keep shouting "Nigger", assuming that I am pronouncing the name of the country correctly
>mom screams at me, slaps me, and puts me in time out by the screen glass window

The problem with OP is, that his stories are shit and fake. If the story would be good and kinda believable i'd let it slide but this is just low tier shitposting noone asked for

Still the same user. 5 years old was a hell of a time to be alive.

>be 5
>moms "friends come over to smoke in the living room
>our home back then was an 850sq foot apartment with almost no source of venilation other than the back glass door, the front door, and the window in the kitcken
>home sick from kingergarden cuz chicken pox
>mom completely forgets im still in my room
>smell smoke, begin to puke
>Try to open glass door in my room (the one I ran into) but I was a pussy 5 yr old bitch that didnt even lift
>Constantly got sick
>Mom comes in with smoke in mouth
>tosses smoke to the floor, picks me up by my Lion King jammies and puts me in the bathroom
>Use toilet to puke my guts
>Open door, walk back to my room screaming and crying
>at this point, the entire Apartment is hotboxed, with smoke visible in every rooom

To this day she deniesever smoking about me. SUck to be her cuz now she has COPD.

*around * Suck * "friends"

>be five
>in kindergarden
>balancing off the jungle gym
>fall and land on a fat mexican girl my age
>seperate my forearm bone from my arm bone
>wore a cast for the rest of the year
>No one ever signed it

(g)old

>be me
>7
>at target with family
>leave family for electronics section, play games
>my mom raised us to come when she whistles like birds i shit you not the oldest is almost 30 and we still come to her whistles
>im looking for her whistles
>find a shopping kart abandoned
>start riding it
>old lady turns corner and im going too fast to stop it
>smash into her ribs, she falls back like a doll and slams her head on the tile
>like 9 family members rush in front of her to check on her and stare at me
> "who's kid is that?" "Joe, call security"
>in hindsight i dont remember the old lady getting up, she was probably nearing 80
>hear mom again and i sprint away
>she already paid and i leave
>mfw never caught

Target Eliminated

No shit

kek

>Be 5
>live in a trashy neighborhood
>Have an apartment closer towards the middle so I Have a bigger back yard
>share a security fence with a milf
>Mom wants smokes
>tells me to go over to milfs house and gets them
>Get there, milf opens door to a towen on her body covering herself and one in her hair
>Ask her "mommy wants her cigarattes please and thank you"
>she asks me to come inside
>waitwhat.gif
>idk what to do
>no one ever gave me the talk about what to do in a situation like this
>go in
>she entices me with Oreos and Pepsi
>spend a whole 2 minutes just chowing down
>She drops her body towel in the livingroom, 4 feet away from me
>STOP
>I begin to scream autistically
>like a siren
>I dont stop screaming
>Im frozen solid, cookie crumbs in and around my mouth, screaming like I saw a naked milf that just undid her towel infront of me
>except she did
>mom and her "friend" barge through the door
>Milf is wearing short shorts and a t-shirt
>still screaming, tears down my face
>mom and her "friend" take me home and try to comfort me
>her "friend" wants to "shnugglee" her some more, but gets blown off and he storms out
>sent to therapy for the next 13 years

That's actually pretty sad.

>working with family at burger joint
>guy approaches, writes something down
>think he's making demands or something but he's just deaf
>try talking to him in sign language
>he waves his hands around
>he said in sign language that i was cute
>we end up going on a few dates
>my guilt is killing me
>i haven't told him i am a trap
>i decide to start being an asshole so he will break up with me
>mfw he called me a cunt
>mfw he could talk

Oh there's more, I'm just a slow(er) typer.

>wake up to wind/rain on window middle of night
>house starts shaking
>sirens outside wtf?
>realize its a tornado siren
>freak out run down stairs house starts to shake
>get all the way into basement no one else in family is there
>run back upstairs and see sister running to basement
>grab her and pull her down stairs
>go back up to find parents house shaking to pieces roof flies off
>fall back down stairs and run to sister in corner
>sister screaming and shaking and crying as we sit in the corner
>lights go out wind throwing everything around upstairs floorboards start to shake
>push my sister forward and pull down her pjs cover her with my body
>push my limp cock inside her and pound her till it gets hard
>cum in like 15 seconds while laying on top of her
>pull out pull up her pjs and ride out the storm another 30 seconds.
>go upstairs whole house is gone parents are no where to be found
>orphaned and the next day she asks the state to be put in a different foster home than me
>never see her again.

kek

...

...

This is why you are lonely and on Sup Forums, before you say anything, I'm on paternity leave, moving into a new house and currently having a dump

>just turned 5
>mom and dad get a divorce because mom is a junky trash addict and dad is Irish
>Mom is absolotely convinced that dad touched my brother and I
>goes to court, has entire CPS case made
>Dad denies the charges, rightfully so
>Mom then puts shit in our heads that he did, infact, molest us when we were staying with him and my uncle
>He didn't, and neither did my uncle
>1 day in court was all it took for her to get custody of me
>dad never spoke mom again, and outright refuses to pay childsupport because he knows it would go to a junky mom
>dad saw less and less of us
>he was a plumber that got fired, but that's another story for another post
>found out where my dad moved to, came to visit him this previous fathers day
>he gained a solid 40 pound gut, lost all of his muscle, and refuses to shave his ginger-colored beard
>his place smells of booze to this day
>cant summon the courage to call him

Fucking women, man.

>Go to asian all you can eat restaurant
>They have fucking oysters
>I Fucking love oysters
>Keep going back, end up eating about 30 oysters amongst other horrible asian food
>Never felt so full in my life
>Go to bar after, drink 2 pints
>Feeling slightly queezy, think nothing of it
>Go to bathroom to take a leak
>While pissing, misjudge a burp
>BuuuWHAAAARGHAGRaARARBLE
>jet of vomit shoots out of my mouth and nose at mach 2
>Splashback hits me in the face. Stomach acid burns my eyes
>Convulsions cause my still pissing dick to flail around like an untethered firehose
>3 more jets of puke erupt from my face, slightly lessening in intensity
>Finally tapers off into choking dry heaves and drool
>Tears running down my face, eyes as red as fire. Nosebleed. Stomach completely empty. Feel fine actually
>Slowly catch my breath while crying. Clean myself up with toilet paper to the best of my ability
>Toilet and wall completely covered in foamy yellow half digested mollusc bits and cheap beer
>Smells and looks like an ebola infected zombie whales abortion. Don't even try to flush that shit
>Miraculously, no one came to the bathroom while I was in there, clothes come out pretty much unscathed
>Go out back exit and enter in front
>Friends ask where I was
>getting my coat from the car.jpg
>10 minutes later see huge giant samoan bartender walk to the bathroom with a mop and bucket. Look in his eyes shoots fire
>Hide in the corner for the rest of the night

I still go to that bar. Huge samoan dude still talks about what hes gonna do when he catches that motherfucker

>be five
>1 month after arm-breaking incident
>clean blue cast on my right arm, no signatures
>I dont give up hope ( I probably should've)
>Mom gets a call
>I can tell because she has her ringtone to a bittune version of "welcome to the jungle"
>eventually find out that dad lost his plumbing job because he's irish and cannot put down the bottle
>his exact words when he told me where
>"Words that even a sailor would be ashamed to say"
>Thought back to the whole Nigger incident, learned my lesson tho
>shook my head and nodded, having no idea wtf was going on at the time
>begain to cry
>dad hugs me with his sober breath and his long ginger beard
>I miss my dads ginger beard rubbing up against my 5 year old face
>I miss my dad

kek.

story from military.
>be army
>almost done with 1st contract and getting out
>am dismount on a bradley fighting vehicle
>in the field
>have to take shits in bags to not leave shitpiles in the field
>usually don't because its gay and stupid
>pull one out as a joke
>buddy hops off the brad and jokes about buddy shitting
>we decide to try it
>its 3 am and everyone is sleeping but us
>both 6'3 loud as fuck
>everyone is brutally aware of us back to back squatting in something the size of a target bag
>have bag secured in hand either side so bag is underneath both sphincts
>buddy forces out shit and i realize he is uphill a little bit from me
>realize shit log is just gonna scrape down my fucking leg
>gtfo
>buddy ends up spraying shit accross the ground as i scramble away pants around ankles
>buddy "AW GREAT YOU MADE ME SHIT ON THE FLOOR"
>continues yelling about shitting on the floor (he's outside)
>i'm well outside blast range of shit flecks with pants down crying laughing on the ground
>NCO looks out from sleeping bag on bradley
>doesn't say shit and just goes back to sleep

got more if interest.

Last one, then Im heading to bed. I have a therapist appointment in the morning.

>be 5
>dad still working for a plumbing business, bringing home big cash
>eat pizza every other day
>Dad offers my brother and I some PVC pipes and asked us if we wanted to play with them
>Hell yes

Sidenote: It was 1997 and Quake was out, whole family was an ID software fan (except for mom)

>put pipes together to make doublebarrel shotguns, nail guns, everything
>spent the rest of the afternoon doing this with my bro while mom bitched and dad about her "money"
>acted like I didnt hear them
>It was a pretty fun afternoon

Kek

>be me
>live in st.petersberg Russia
>be in apartment
>be on third floor
>neighbor is cooking you can smell it through the walls
>smell something burning
>in my slightly drunk state of mind I decided I can jump from window to window
>climb out window
>Attempt to climb my way over
>falls
I broke my arm and shoulder
>mfw neighbor tells me I'm fine

thats gold

Fuck your country motherfucker.

THIS IS THE FUCKING INTERNET.

>be in Hell's Kitchen with my mates
>it's dmfuxking hot and we are hungry
>decide to jack some guys wiener cart
Idea is if I order a wiener and when the guy is handing it over I take it and run without paying.
He has a choice, chase after me or cut his losses
>dude chases after me and I run like a mother fucker. I know my 3 friends will now be at the unattended cart stuffing their faces.
>I run all around the block and see my friends at the cart....fuck I didn't realise the dude is still chasing me.
>my friends push the cart to the top of the steps to a subway exit
>they balance the cart on the top. I join and hold the cart too. It's heavier than we thought.
>we figured the guy would grab his cart and then we could run off as he tried to balance it.
>we lost our grip, it was too heavy
>the cart went crashing down the steps and landed on some old guy and it left him severely disabled.
Got sent to a young offenders institute.

This is the worst fucking thread I've seen in a while. The samefagging going on here is absolutely atrocious.

Whelp you lost your wife did you not know this is how women are they say. O at first but deep down they already had feelings for your dick

I'm a fairly decent looking guy but I'm pretty aspie when it comes to girls.
>another close friend was hotter than the other one
>go to her house EVERYday
>her mum died when she was really young and she was raised by her dad and 2 brothers....so a little cooler than most girls
>one day I got really drunk and started crying like a little bitch infront of all the cool kids at school (my friendship with the popular hot girl formed a bond between my nerdy friends and the cool kids) that my parents were getting divorced
>I was pretty much disowned after that night

another army fag story. got a bunch.

>me and buddy out in training again
>have been doing bs training missions and guard duty 24/7 since we're still fresh
>fucking around constanty because we get smoked either way
>NCO's are practicing flying the raven drones
>do flyby's on us
>always wave, make funny faces, dance
>couple hours go by no flights
>here comes the raven again
>buddy and i prepare ourselves
>ass n tiddies dance from 21 jump street
>see raven violently swoop away from us
>get called to return to vehicle
>they were demo'ing raven flight to higher ups, 3 star highest
>have to explain why we were dancing instead of performing dismount operations

that was a long fucking day my friends.

>Last night I was showing some pics of a cute turtle I took the other day on my phone to a girl in a group I go to every week and as i was scrolling through the pictures I accidentally scrolled onto a porn pic I thought I deleted. And now I wanna just go away and hide forever but I know I'm overreacting.

>be me
>sergeant in the Russian army
>tank gunner
>Syria 2015
>we had liberated a town from isis
>the only building not destroyed is a bad and few houses
>at night a private and a colonel sneak away from our position
>My crew decide to go looking for them
>We decide to have a few drinks
>get drunk
>crew is extremely drunk
>crew finds them at the bar
>commander attempts to start a bar fight
>we let them ride back on the tank
The tank is a t-90 so it's some pretty advanced shit
>driver is extremely drunk and proceeds to drive into one building completely demolishing it and running over a stop sign
>we make it back somehow
>everyone exits the tank
>qt female corporal comes up to me to inspect the tank and the buildings
Turns out we caused 200,000 dolphins in damage
>mfw the drunks get off scot free and the driver is the only guy to get any form of punishment
Also the private who got drunk proceeded to abandon the squadron, he was found dead eight days later

>be 8, just moved to new city, new school etc.
>go on field trip to local museum (about half an hour drive away) with new class
>know no one, so just kinda hobble along behind the group
>end up afternoon, going back to the bus, we get a last bathroom break and I go take a piss
>leave the bathroom and step in the bus
>wrong fucking bus, not my class, not my teacher
>chaperone leading just counting heads and ushers me in
>I freak the fuck out, walk up to teacher looking lady and try to tell her
>other kids are being rowdy fucknuts, teacher tells me sit down, shut up and strap in
>autistic and retarded I comply
>end up driving for 3 and a half fucking hours, into another goddamn state, dropped off at Godknows elementary in whateversville
>chaperone just counts heads again and ushers us off the bus
>Other parents start picking up their kids, I end up last just sitting in the schoolyard like a little faggot
>It's getting dark, mexican looking janitor guy comes to lock the gate, asks me wtf where are your parents do you need a ride home etc.
>n-no thanks I guess mom is just stuck in traffic again h-hahah
>he shrugs and I walk off in no particular direction
>keep on walking for another hours or 2, fully dark now, cold, hungry and shat myself a little
>Finally a police car pulls over, takes me in asks me wtf.
>I'm still an autistic retard, just tell them I'm lost while choking back tears
>They take me to the station and call my parents, they show up 4 hours later
>Hear them talking with officer 'traumatized blabla clearly in shock yadda yadda hypothermic bladibloo'
>mom hysterically crying while asking wtf happened
>being aspergers, I make up some story about a black guy who pulled me into his van and kicked me out here
>next few months be interrogated by police like 10 times, have to take counseling for 4 goddamn years
>never had the balls to tell the truth, only anonymously on the internet

My mom is still violently racist to this day

I'm interested. More please.

Kek. Nice bro. Got moar? Also I'm trying to join the Army. Will unpaid speeding tickets stop me? I got perma disqualified last year but now, according to my recruiter, they're accepting people who have self mutilated. what they thought I was doing. (I actually just work in construction) Recruiter says I have a good chance of getting in and wants to try. What do you think?

That was pretty funny tbh. I kek'd

nigger listen here
some people come here not giving a shit whether a story is legit or not
some people just wanna read something to kill time
i'm one of those people.
kys

>mfw i read nice rack as nice cock
too many traps threads holy shit

kek'ed