Ask a cop thread

Ask a cop thread

how did you find Sup Forums, were you into Sup Forums before you became a cop

Why do you hate Niggers?

do you sniff the toilet paper after you wipe?

I like to sniff so hard sometimes I brown the tip of my nose

A friend pointed me here in high school, a long time before I became a cop.

I don't.

I look at it, I don't sniff it. Who does that?

impostor.

Welcome to Sup Forums how based are you?

would you rather have hotdogs for toes or toes for fingers?

Or maybe OP is an impostor and im a real cop

Stance on ANTI-FA and Black Lives Matter?

On a day to day basis, how boring or interesting is you job? I mean do you just pull over people for having broken tail lights every day. And thats all you do?

Based?

Would the hot dogs still support me enough to stand and articulate enough to run?

I view them as extremist groups that use piss-poor tactics attempting to affect meaningful change, but all they really do is distract people from open communication.

Do you usually find out whether someone you charged with a crime gets convicted?

If you dont appear at their trial, why would it be relevant for you to know the outcome of the case presuming you submitted all evidence to the prosecutors office and the defense
's attorney?

serious question:
...
...

if you could be a tree, what tree would you be?


oh, and fuck you pig

would you rather fuck a toddler and serve no prison time or have consensual sex with a woman of your own age and serve 10 years?

>A friend pointed me here in high school, a long time before I became a cop.

so you're an oldfag as well, cool beans, good luck

model gun you carry and ammunition?

What's your stance on weed being legal?

Why do you hate naggers

well said on that last one my dude

>when you don't read the thread

Obvious stuff.
Fuck a toddler.
Knowing that nothing will happen i'd try to fuck it so hard it disintegrates in my hands

I work in a decently large city, I see a lot of traffic violations I don't have time to deal with because I'm going call to call. That said, the vast majority of calls are bullshit.

I usually don't unless I actually go to the trial. Generally I make my arrest or do my report and what happens after that is someone else's problem.

Mulberry.

I guess the consensual sex, I'd probably be segregated anyway.

It appears so.

Glock 17 and Speer

Fully support it, as well as all other drugs. Like alcohol, if you're not endangering anyone else you should be allowed to do whatever you want to yourself.

Because they're people who annoy you.

Simple truth. There are real world serious ass issues that we'll never solve if people won't address it properly.

>glock 17 and speer
very nice user. very nice.

What do you mean when you say the vast majority of calls are bullshit?

Give me an example.

Worst thing you have seen on duty

Is ur name Steven or Stephen

How do you deal with sovereign citizens?

How do I explain to cops that I choke up around them because of my stupid fetish? I can hardly answer them sometimes, which makes them suspicious of me.

>Apart from that, thanks for what you do. I know it's tough. I dated a cop and heard first hand.

Pretty common really.

Most people have never read the code of criminal procedure, penal code, family code, health and safety code, etc. The result of this is they call the police, me, for issues I can't help with, not actual crimes. Verbal assault, for instance, is not a thing here. I'm also not in the business of disciplining your kids.

I saw a horse get loose because the drunk rider got off to take a piss, horse got onto the interstate and took out two cars; found a girl tied up in a bathroom after being raped..a lot..but she was kinda a shitbag; arrested a guy after beating the living fuck out of his wife for a LONG time. Those were all kinda bad?

No.

I actually haven't really run in to one, there have been people that didn't understand what their rights were, and what I could and couldn't do. They got educated.

What's your fetish? I can usually tell if a person's nervous because they're doing something illegal vs just being nervous because po-lice. People that are doing something illegal never calm down, people that are just nervous tend to calm down after talking to me for a minute.

I hate asians but I move to honolulu in three days. help please.

Hawaiians consider themselves pacific islanders, not Asian, so you're fine.

Do you enjoy being a paid bully?

Whom have I bullied?

theyre the same thing.
please, they smell like mothballs and eat pigs.

Guys in uniform. Shit tier fetish, I know, but my parents were junkies. At one point of my childhood, I was only getting hugs from cops and sherrifs.

At another point, a squad of police saved my life. A pedo had me and was going to kill me. They showed up 10 minutes before we left. Someone had seen me with him and phoned in.

I was 2 states away from home, and quite distraught. My parents had signed custody of me over to him. I was 9 years old.

I sat in a cop's lap all day, crying for a bit, then sleeping on his gut. That's where my fetish came from, I guess.

Have you ever discharged your weapon on duty?

Ever been shot at?

If so, what did it feel like?

what is your opinion on necrophilia?

how do you think a female necrophile would be treated in prison?

Bacon or doughnuts?

Wait you don't eat pigs?
I guess you'll just have to stop being a shitbag that hates people you've never met.

Dayum. The uniform fetish is pretty universal but yours is probably next-level with your experiences.

No, had it screwed into a few ears though.

No, I have a lot of buddies that have been though.

So it's a crime, but there's technically not a victim, kinda a weird spot. I have no idea, probably regarded as fucking weird.

Bacon, all day.

>I have no idea

i've met asians before. I dont like them. but I have to move to honolulu in three days.
please help.

You can't judge a person you haven't met by a person you have. You've never met the people you're about to, stop being a dick.

theyre asians, i have met asians before. I have to move to honolulu.

three days

help.

Yeah, it is pretty next level.
>TFW i haven't snuggled with a cop for years

I'm always polite to cops. Call them sir and ma'am, etc.

It's difficult being patted down with half a chub sometimes.

ITT: Niggers

No.

Being pat-down should be a pretty rare occurrence..

how does it feel knowing that most of the citizens hate you?

you have to you are a public servant I pay your salary. I have to move to honolulu.

That's not my experience, the vast majority of people I interact with, outside of calls and stops, seem to appreciate me. I know this because when I go to a restaurant someone generally anonymously pays for my meal. I then anonymously pay for someone else's.

Simply because I'm paid with revenue from taxation does not mean I do what you want. Contrary to the last answer, this would be obvious if you were someone that called or I'd stopped.

There was one time where I fit the description of someone they were after. The car pulled up and i was pounced, roughed up and patted down. Questions were asked after that fact, they determined I wsn't the perp, got in the car and left without a word.

They left without a word? That's some bullshit. I've stopped the wrong guy before, I always explain myself. I don't have to, but it's the right thing to do.

With this whole cops shooting all sorts of people hate do they still get protected from the good Samaritan act or?

Why did my dog die?

Explain a little bit more, good samaritan laws tend not to protect police, EMTs, etc.

HOW did your dog die?

Ran away, I passed out while walking him
I miss him so fucking much

Use "Ya'll started this nuclear bomb stuff with your attack on Pearl Harbor, my gramps lost one of his fucking legs in Korea!" as opening line for every conversation with people who look remotely Asian. They don't actually have to be Japanese for that. Bonus points if they turn out to be Arabs so you just change topics to "Osama Bin Laden, 9/11 and "our boys" fightin' in Pakistan or whatever that country is called."

So your dog might not be dead.

dafuq?

Yeah, they were talking to eachother

Greentext is me

>Hey, what's happening here?.. what have I done?

He matches. Where have you been?

>My parents' house, i'm going home

Why are you shaking like a leaf?

>Because a squad car pulls up and I get charged to the ground by 4 cops, how would you react?

What's your name?

>[Redacted], here, my ID verifies it

>Cop to other cop

It's not him.

They got in the car and left, and I had a panic attack so bad I threw up

You tell me. Whom did you last pull over?

We found his body

Well I apologize for them, maybe they were busy, maybe it was something super hot, but when you grab the wrong person you apologize and explain (even if briefly).

The woman with no DL, no insurance, who failed to stop before exiting a private drive and turned right into the wrong lane, and almost crashed in to me; who I didn't write a ticket to and turned my lights off because we happened to pull into her work.

Pretty hard to answer that one then. Was there evidence of trauma?

No need for you to say sorry, Sir. It wasn't you who did it.

do you consider yourself part of a gang?

I hate indians but I have to move to bangalore in three days. please help.

Nah bro, being inconsiderate is one of my buttons. I can't tell them they fucked up, but I can apologize to you for them.

No, but it's a cool little saying/speech.

Kill yourself pig

No but he was just decomposing
I'm sure he just starved or something
It's pretty shitty that it was my fault too
:(

No.

Did you pass out due to intoxication or medical condition?

how could someone bribe you to "miss" catching them on a warrant

intoxication
>yeah I'm a piece of shit

You know what?.. you're pretty cool.

You made me feel a little better, and i'm having a bad day.

Thankyou.

Depends on the nature and level of warrant. If you can give me someone with a more severe nature or significantly higher level I'll probably let you go.

As a rule I like dogs, animals in general, way more than people. I don't know why the dog ran off but it's almost certainly your fault. Do better next time.

I will

you wouldn't accept cash, but you'd expect me to rat someone out?

That's a part of why I do these. A person can be an asshole, but saying everyone like that person is an asshole is generally a fallacy.

That doesn't make a ton of sense but let's try. Please show me where, in this thread, I've done something like "lord my moral superiority over the people".

If you learn from your mistakes you're doing better than most.

I'm here to catch bad guys, I make decent money, and I can always find overtime if I need it. I WANT to catch bad guys.

>female necrophiliac

How the fuck does that work?

dog's arent animals, theyr'e mammals

a/s/l if is not 2 personal?

Get fucked then you piece of shit. You must be a Jr officer

Digital intercourse.

Animalia Chordata Mammalia Carnivora Caniformia Canidae Canin Canis..animal.

HAH! 25-35, M, Texas.

This response is regarding which of my comments?

Do you ever feel like your in danger of being killed? Especially given the fact that cops fuckin kill everyone and don't bother trying to apprehend anyone.

You wanna think you're fuckin superman catching all the "bad guys" LOL eat dirt

ever received services from a prostitute? or any female to get her out of trouble?

please help I have to move to honolulu.

Yes, that's the job; but the fact is we arrest a shitload more than we kill. I've arrested a ton, killed none.

So..you want to rely on Superman to catch robbers, burglars, murders?

No, but I do support the legalization of prostitution.

I tried, you suck.

please you have to help me.

Why are you moving to Honolulu?

how do become cop? my record is clean except for traffic shit and some minor shit 15 years ago. ive been an electrical technician for past 12 years

So, were you bullied as a child and trying to make up for it, or a bully as a child and continuing the status quo under the guise of lawful authority?

Because I have to move there in three days.

I am a licensed /b doctor. I'm sorry to tell you I'm going to have to diagnose you with legal retardation, excessive narcissism and erectile dysfunction. Have a pleasant day.

Just apply, the process is long (and hopefully selective) and you'll have to go through a written test, oral interview, psych test, polygraph, background interview, and more. If the department is looking for someone like you you'll be hired.

Based upon?

Yeah we're done.

I know not all cops are assholes. The one I dated briefly told me some of the worst things he has ever seen, and they were not pretty.

I used to go to music festivals way back when, cops would be there to make sure everything was okay, i'd drop MDMA and then go hug them all. Some hugged back, others would dance with me. Most cops are super chill.

I know a *lot* of cops. Most of them were bullies or otherwise unconcerned about the feelings of others when they were young, the rest are those who were bullied and want to provide some sense of justice to the world.

no, you have to help me. I hate asians and i have to move to honolulu

the japanese only own everything and provide tourism there, generally you only have to deal with americans. Suck it up and quit being a doucheag.