What's some the dumbest or most craziest shit you have ever done while drunk? Post your stories. Did you regret it...

What's some the dumbest or most craziest shit you have ever done while drunk? Post your stories. Did you regret it? Any guilt afterwards?
>Be me drunk as fuck last night.
>Out with the boys.
>Drink too much.
>I see some Niggers on the street, so I start yelling NIGGAS at them.
>My friends realize I'm too drunk and start walking me home.
>I yell nigga and hookers at everyone.
>Wake up in the morning and have no recollection of this or how I got home.
>Another light paper airplanes on fire and throw out the window from 8th floor.
>Another time fuck my friend drunk as fuck and then she wants a relationship from me a few weeks later. Tell her to fuck off.
>Another time wake up drunk on a plane and no memory of the last 10 hours.

i took watch fight club.

ITT
> greentext stories that didn't happen

Word.

>Drinking with the boys
>go down the street to get some hookers.
>They are ugly as fuck
>We go home disappointed.
>Call escort
>200 bucks an hour
>hangup phone disappointed.
>Call some bitch I know and fuck her.
>realize i could of done that the whole time and for free.
>realize I'm drunk as fuck and pass out.

Contribute. I want your stories.

>be me
>got really REALLY drunk
>literally couldn't walk
>I was just grounded in chair in my kitchen
>I put my head down on the kitchen table and tried to sober up enough to walk to my bed
>didnthappen.jpg
>next thing I know, I woke up at around 3 in the morning
>cuddled up to the bottom of the fridge
>entire loaf of break sprawled out in the kitchen floor
>still don't know what happened

I hacked into mainframe of nasa

Jesus man! Did you even eat any of the bread??
Yeah walking is hard when you are drunk.
This reminds me of my friend. We were drinking in the kitchen and he just curled up and passed out on the kitchen floor.

Got really drunk with the boys and stole a pet rock. Feel really bad about it but I finally have a pet that can't leave me.

I pissed in the back seat of a police car
They charged me for that

I don't know if I ate any or not, I just woke up and it was everywhere

>Be me
>realize I have a problem when I party.
>Every time I do shots I get crazy.
>Like real crazy.
>Like getting kicked out of places crazy.
>Last time I did shots I almost puked in the elevator going up only 4 floors.
>Make a new rule for myself. No more shots when drinking.
>Go partying one night to some clubs.
>Order no shots.
>Order a cocktail instead.
>Dance and sweat a lot. Very thirsty.
>Starting downing my cocktail in 5 seconds because I'm so thirsty.
>Realize I can do cocktail shots.
Continue doing cocktail shots all night.
>blackout drunk.
>flash forward and my friend is taking me back to her house because I'm fucked up at 5am
>I open door thinking I'm being quiet.
>Her mom wakes up because I was making a storm of noise when I walked in.
>See her mom and hug and kiss her telling her good morning.
>passed out playing with her cat.
>Moral of the story.
>don't do cocktail shots!!

> be sixteen
> come home drunk
> like completely fucked up pushed out the car rolling on the grass verge drunk
> parents are fighting as usual
> nice evening might just sit here for a bit
> watch the moon spinning like crazy while mum screeches about having to clean the toilet and stepdad smashes a few plates
> fuck you guys you are ruining my mood and prolly annoying the neighbours
> screech rant rave blah blah blah
> I've had more than enough
> yell at the top of my lungs 'JUST. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!'
> they go quiet
> good it worked
> decide sitting against the front fence is warmer and comfier then I ever realised
> awesome, there's a cane toad for company
> now would be THE perfect time to fap
> unzips
> abuse myself at 2am on the footpath outside my house not giving a fuck

5 years later having argument with step dad. He comes back, at least I'm not a little faggot who wanks himself stupid in the street.
Shit. They saw me.

>see some Niggers on the street, so I start yelling NIGGAS at them
Made me lol.

DAMN man! Why did they arrest you?
You were making your bed to sleep on maybe?

>me
>drunk and high on meth walking around
>horny af
>start grabbing random tits and ass
>one tries to make a scene
>3 arabs running towards me
>grab my rambo knife and ready for clash
>arabs resort to yelling and taunt
>attemp to stab one in his mouth
>missed
>one arab tries to punch me
>he hit but i felt nuffin
>cut his hand with my knife and pushkick the other arab in his chest
>hear police sirens
>try to finish the one off with ISIS beard
>police arrive i lay down to the ground
>get in patrol car
>pass out
>wake up in a cell at the station and signing some papers
>officers laugh and treat me discriminatory

Should i go on?

>Drunk at friends house one weekend
>She had bought little plastic shot glasses
>Proceed to do shots and throw them on the floor after each one
>Proceed to walk around the house stomping on them yelling "Mazel tov"
>Laughs were had by all

POST ALSO YOUR WORST DRUNK MESSAGES You ever sent.
>Wake up and find a voice message i sent to a female friend of mine. I said "show me some pussy baby"

>entire loaf of break sprawled out in the kitchen floor
That's how I know you are telling the truth. Plus, that's kinda cute.

You may continue

>new years 2015
>go to a party with my brother
>at some girls house (she is like 18)
>she finished same highschool 2 years later than us
>me my brother and our friends are all a bit older
>all her friends are beta fuckers who leave cause were too loud for them
>we all make fun of her lesbian friend who looks like honey boo boos mother
>drink a shit ton
>everyone leaves except for me my brother and 2 more friends
>girl who owns the place goes to sleep
>bigmistake.jpg
>i pissed on her balcony
>my friend threw up on her mothers plants
>brother took a piss in the fridge
>somebody (all i know it wasnt me) took a shit on the table
>there was a chair thrown outside the window (8th story)
>40 minutes before her parents are supposed to come home
>i threw the girls phone at her face to wake her up and tell her were leaving
at this point it was almost 6 am
>went home and slept

Public intox

>Jerking off in the street PRICEless

Be me
>drunk as fuck cooking with habanero chilis.
>go to friends extra bed to sleep in.
>I'm horny, no pussy that night.
>Start Jerking it.
>Feels real good
>I feel hot, like real hot.
>My dick is on fire.
>I realize it's because of the chilis.
>Continue jerking it and pass out drunk as fuck

Yeah I called them niggas it was ridiculous. Somehow I didn't get attacked.

Prolly didn't get attacked because they thought any motherfucker with the balls to say that is likely seven different types of crazy and dangerous.

And yeah I thought 2am, live on a quiet street, everyone's gone to sleep by now. Why not have a fap?

JESUS YES!!
DAMN MAN
Went to a party and people spilled shit all over the floor, so I tried to be nice and throw toilet paper on it people walked and dragged toilet paper all over the house and then it dried and stuck like glue. My friend had to scrap it off the floor. Eventually told her I got the toilet paper roll.

>me
>living with a north korean family in third world country
>i show off my money and be generous and take care
>evening time to shower
>i put shampoo in my hair
>suddenly and unexpected this 8yo korean girl comes in
>she takes off her clothes and...

Should i greentext on?

Yes do it

>pissing in the fridge
I lost it at that.
Wtf was he thinking?
>shitting on the table
My nigga.

My roommate came home drunk as fuck and dragged a flowerpot in front of him on the couch and pissed in it and passed out.

Yeah true I'm sure I would of fought like crazy. But my friend took me away because I wouldn't stop calling them niggas hahahah
>fapping with nature

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