24

>24
>kissless virgin
>no friends
>no job
>still live at home with parents
>my i can tell my dad thinks i'm a disappointment
>have no real plan for the future
>I jerk off 7 times a day

will enlisting in the Army help me?

How can you be 24 and never had a kiss? Were you raised in a cult?

It will save your life. You will finally have discipline and purpose.

Yeah until OP turns into this

>>I jerk off 7 times a day

this is the central problem you need to solve ASAP

it just never happened when i was in grade school and in high school i didn't have friends and I was really shy and I was so embarassed by it i convinced myself that i shouldnt even try because that will lead to only more ridicule

thats my thought process. theyll give me a job/money/friends (hopefully)/ my dad would finally be proud of me/ and as long as no one knows I'm fucking loser I no longer have to be a loser

i don't do anything thats all i really have

Only if you really hate yourself. Join the fuckin coast guard. All the benifits of being in the military without the shitty life.

if Im going to join the military id rather be in the real military

Yeah okay your right you sound like an idiot the army will be perfect for you. But your probably too weak minded to make it through boot so your just going to end up lower than you are now. Enjoy.

holy fuck just spite out my beverage on my computer screen and my GF gave me that look... just had the scene/sound play out on my head and i'm just the right amount of high.....good keks

i wasn't trying to insult you its just when you think military no one thinks of the coast guard

Around the same age as you
>Kissless virgin
> moved out of parents house when i was 18
> working since age 16
>I live in a different country now for more than a half year
Tfw still no gf

gave me confidence, made get more in shape than what I was previous.

honestly, you should do some heavy reflecting. coming to b/ will only do so much for you.

if you can't handle being yelled at, being naked in the shower with other men, possibility of deploying and getting in a fire fight/ IED- then don't waste anybody's time.

I've seen a bunch of pussies drop out after the first week.

If you intend to 'better yourself' by becoming another cog in the imperialist war machine, at least be smart about it.
>pic related

No, enlist in the marine corps, it'll make a man out of you. The army will make yo ur dad proud, but you'll be the same price of shit as before.

Air force won't change a thing about you, you fucking faggot.

OK, where are you from btw?

>Marines

OP*

It'll do a hell of a lot more for OP than the Army.
>better MOS'
>better bases
>better equipment
>more educational opportunities
>nicer uniforms
The list goes on, but ya.

If youu just want to do your 4 years and get out it dosn't really matter which branch you choose as long as your phisically and mentally fit enought to handle it. If your thinking about making a career out of it as far as quality of life goes I would stick with the air force, coast guard or maybe the navy.

No it won't, it won't boost his confidence, he won't make friends, he'll literally just have a job and a proud dad, nothing else, at least the army will help you make friends and get girls. But the marines will make you a man. Source: in the marines, have friends in every branch, and I know how they act.

If youre a kissless virgin with no friends you will not make it through boot camp. Youre an incompetent and probably ugly fuck up. I would kys if I were you.

No it won't. Army will boost confidence and help him make friends, they marines will do the same thing, but he'll always have friends. Source: marine, friends in every branch.

Pretty sure having a job, moving out of his parents house and being able to support himself would boost his confidence. And everyone makes friends in the military. nice try meat head

>confidence
PT and leadership training will take care of that, not to mention having to lead the flight into the Mess Hall from time to time
>friends
You don't need 'friends' in there; you need wingmen.
>he'll have a job and a proud dad
Isn't that what we all want? Minus the dad part, I mean?
>Army gets you friends
Army gets you blue falcons and shitty CO's.
>Army gets you girls
Army gets you Songtan Sally and/or a bunch of Army-wives who will do nothing but blow your BAH on stupid shit.
>Marines will make you a man
Marines will make you a man...with PTSD and an aggressive sense of 'patriotism' that manifests itself in the worst ways imaginable.

See above.

>will enlisting in the Army help me?
No. After that whole list you wanna become a dumb faggot pawn for jewish profit? Damn son, might as well go for it

There is no real physical challenge to boot camp, it's all mental, just want it hard enough and you'll make it. But you want a branch that will give you connections after you get out. Air force won't do that for you, and the coast guard will just get you made fun of

you managed to do something with your life, so be happy about it faggot.

Just go to a titty bar with a buddy. Make sure you get completely hammered. If you dont have a buddy to go with you I'll go with you amigo.

Help you what?

>pt
You don't pt in the air force. Source: air force friends.
>you don't need friends
You need people that you're close with. If you hate your wingman, you can't do your job properly. Even the people I don't like in my platoon I get along with, for the sole reason that I know, without a shred of doubt, he'll be there for me. I wouldn't trust an airman with my life.
>gets you a job
Every branch gets you a job
>shit girls
At least it'll get you girls
>marines have toxic masculinity
Marines will only give you ptsd if you can't handle shit, which every branch can give you. Plus, marines weed out the weak at SOI.

And that picture shows that you're a faggot. This is why you shouldn't join the air force, it's leadership is a bunch of liberal faggots, more worried about being pc then getting the job done.

OP, only join the army if you want free benefits, join the marines if you want to actually want to change yourself

OP, if you're still on this thread, you should look into the ASVAB. If you think you can at least do fucking decent on it, then Yes, by all means, join the army, or the Air Force, or what ever branch you think fits with what you want to accomplish.

If you don't think you can pass it (btw its a "mental" exam like the SAT's or GRE's) then I would start studying for it. If/When you enlist, it it is going to play a huge roll in what you do with your service.

Also, if you don't think you can do at least decent on it, and you can't find the mental discipline to study for it, then the joint forces is not something you are ever gonna' cut.

OP, to be blunt, the military is not here to babysit you, or pull you out of a crises. The military is here to win wars. That's pretty much it. If you think you can pull your shit together enough for that, then by all means, do it. Lord knows we always need more troops, but if you doubt yourself, your probably not cut out for the job.

>You don't PT
You *do* PT in the Air Force; just not as often as the other branches. Source: Was in AF.
>You need people that you're close with
Friends != wingmen. We could go drink or w/e after duty, or not, it really doesn't matter. What matters is that we work together and get the job done. Mission first.
>Every branch gets you a job
Yes, but the AF has more civilian-transferable jobs/skills.
>girls
You don't need them anyway.
>toxic masculinity...the 'weak'
The Marines just work with their backs instead of their brains, but that doesn't make the AF 'weak' for doing so. If you have the choice and the aptitude *not* to become cannon fodder, why wouldn't you choose to? For some bullshit concept of 'honor?'

And be mad at the Air Force all you like; at least we're not a department of the Navy.

No, you're a bunch of army fags who couldn't handle someone being mean so you made your own branch. You also have no reason to exist other than the A-10. You can do the same smart guy shit in literally any other branch, and if you want to at least be a man about it, then join the navy.

>You can do the same smart guy shit in literally any other branch
And yet you leave it to those of us who are proven to be best at it.

SO cool how it uses the propeller vortex to diffuse the fireworks smoke like wings dude i'd wipe out an entire continent as a war soldier just for that

I've never heard anyone say that the air force is the smart branch. I've only ever heard it as the easy branch, from air force members. I'd also sooner trust someone from the navy to do smart guy shit for me, as they won't tell me that I misgendered them.

>misgendered them.
>shit that doesn't happen in any branch, as you're just projecting a hatred of liberalism in a thread that has nothing to do with it or its advocates
But I guess you'd *have to* trust a sailor more, since you're carried around by them.

Probably a meme post but I’m 21 with basically the same life apart from I ain’t a virgin. Haven’t had a gf in nearly two years tho. I wanna kill myself.

Lolololololol, noice insult man!!!1!1!1!1! You really showed me!!! Wow, saying that the marines is a department of the navy totally doesn't make the navy look like the best branch, since we do literally everything.

All that’s going to do is turn your lone jerk to a circle jerk.

Kek. You've got a point. It certainly doesn't come to my mind. Hell, only reason I know who they are was because my old man was in it. The Coast Guard.

Yeah join the Army. Be sure to see where you're at on the ASVAB and try to choose an MOS with after military opportunities like Intel or Drone repair mechanic. BCT is a joke and I was dissapointed; If you can handle getting yelled at and learn to work with others. (They'll force you to work together) You are still young, I have seen guys lose like 40 lbs as long as they tried and came out happy and suprised about themselves. Anyone who says BCT will break you either hasn't been or is trying to sound hard. The Army is a great starting point in life and isn't anything like BCT once you graduate. What you will need to do however is starting running everyday and learn to control your urges. (Graduated BCT 2 weeks ago and am at AIT right now)

I have to address this. Honor is a bullshit concept? Honor is everything. How can I trust you as a man if you have no honor? How do I know you won't stab me in the back, both literally and figuratively? Honor is what defines you as a person, lack of means you're a piece of shit that no one can trust. Having honor just means that you'll go through with what you start, you don't have to be a marine, or a soldier to have honor.

As much as I shit on the army, this guy is right. Just consider you options when choosing an MOS, and branch. The army/navy can help you, the air force really won't.

Guy wanted help to steer his life and it instantly imploded and became a pissing contest.........nice guys

You have zero discipline right now, you need to be aware of how much of a difference this is to most people.

You can go there, get yelled at and be out of breath like nether before in your life, but can you go through with it, can you really get up really early every day, handle not having alone-time, and live with the downsides you will not be able to change?

The thing is, don't imagine the enlisting to be a easy make-myself-better-with-only-paying-in-time-i'd-waste-otherwise-and-a-bit-of-"work"-route, life has no "switches", it has time and you.

You seem like a piece of shit now however, not trying to be mean, i can relate, so whatever you decide to do, even if you fail, should be an improvement and a step in the right direction.