Sup Forums you're the only ones keeping me company tonight. What's been going on in your life? Everything okay?

Sup Forums you're the only ones keeping me company tonight. What's been going on in your life? Everything okay?

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not remotely, but so it goes

I've been struggling with a heroin addiction for 4 years. Ive managed to keepmy daily dose small, but family suspect something is going on. The past 2 years ive been living with GF, as a provider I find it real hard to completely quit my habit while functioning enough to pay bills. Ive been suicidal at times.

Pic related, it's me back in 2015.

You look like 15 years old teen. And after you drop out this addiction there is no pleasure in your life.

summer is
>thataway

...

Been in a similar situation, key is to reduce the dosage by a tiny amount each day or week. Eventually it should make it easier to quit it outright

I turn 28 in November. Another pic of me and my girl. Her name is Genesis, believe it or not she is 8 years younger than me. She knows about the addiction and ha been very supportive.

problem is this requires more discipline than a herion addict is usually capable of in coping, sadly

You actually want to spill out your mind by asking these question, isnt it? If not and if you not to be against listen man with a shitty english, i would say.

Well I'd have to take your word for it, not sure how cocaine compares to herion

Looks like ethan

I am trying, but obviously not hard enough. I got a new part time job at a retail clothes store and plan on using says off to lower my dosage as much as possible and them redosing regularly during work days which are only 5 or 6 hr shifts.

I mean you're not wrong, tapering down is the way, just more complex than that.

I'm sorry to hear that dude. What drives you to feel suicidal? Is it just the addiction or your living situation overall?

I'm in my last semester of a degree in a specialised field and I'm actually unsure about working in that field.

I'm considering my options in what is essentially the biggest decision of my life. I have a matter of weeks to apply for the job, or risk missing out on an uncharacteristically large job intake. Of course, later intakes may be just as generous, and I think I need some time between uni and entering full time work. But why entire the field at all if I don't want to work in it?

Or I'll just change fields entirely. I really don't know. I need to do some soul searching, but I'm afraid of making the wrong decision and fucking up my entire life.

youtube.com/watch?v=EPw0jtbx6OM

duffery

Cold empty nights
Scary distant days

Thats my life summed up

you can always quit if it's not working out, right? at least it'll be pay.

nothing is ever nominal, fewls are juat extra bs

What makes you change your mind so late?

I have an underlying anxiety/depression problem beneath the addiction. Its quite a mindfuck cause anxieties fuel addiction and vice versa. And the opiates feel so good to me, i need to find something to cope with my shit cause I already rewired my brain to seek opiates whenever I feel anxious while sober. It is a debilitating state of mind. Im planning on buying herbal supplements and vitamins online, maybe some benzodiazepines to help me quit

Junky guy here. A meme to liven things up.

I could yes, but it's a highly stressful job. And the first year is very intense before even becoming qualified in the field, and there's no point doing it without becoming qualified.
We have a lot of work experience and placement with uni, and over time I just began to enjoy it less and less. Also I went straight from school into the course, and now that it's time to apply it's kinda hit me and I'm a bit unsure if it's really what I want to do.

I see your meme and match one

I have one friend at school, we fuck or used to, she fucked someone else now doesn't want me anymore. She still says she wants to be friends but im not sure I can go back to just being friends.

At least you've realized that you've gone too far and are trying to quit. A lot of people never even reach that point. You have to realize that it's now your mental health against the drugs, ones gotta stay and ones gotta go

i have no friends. no girlfriend. no job and no life. im typing this on a 5 year old laptop. help

You feel it's not even worth it to give it a shot? What have you got to lose if it doesn't work out?

I guess just the amount of sheer effort and learning I need to put in in the first year. All to just up and leave straight away. Feels like just working part time and volunteering and travelling for a bit would be a better choice.

Even if I decide I want to work the job, I still think it might be best to take maybe a few months off. I went straight from school into uni, and then it'll be full time work. I feel like I need a bit of time maybe.

gtfo of that situation, you are a spare fuck buddy. You cannot go from spare fuck buddy to meaningful friendship. Why be friends with someone capable of throwing you on the wayside.

Or try and be friends and bail later on if you simply can't take it.

Good luck user

Sounds like you've already made your decision

I just don't know if it's right, and it might fuck up my future

I'm only 17 and still have to see her around school considering my school only has 270 pupils it will be hard to not see her

I think if you actually give it a shot and it doesn't work out then you actually have the ability to say you tried and it didn't work out. If you work THAT hard on something & spend THAT much time working on it and end up pursuing something else without even giving plan A a follow through then you'll always feel like you've wasted a huge opportunity. 1 year is easier than many years of regret

You have to see her but you don't need to interact. If she approaches you about it then you need to be prepared. Tell her what you felt due to the ordeal.

Go with your gut feeling. Take a break, go travel and sort yourself out along the way. Life's too short to hang in a cloud of doubt and unsureness

The key point is to not let her bring you around on a leash while you get noting out of it. If she starts acting like a tease then bail. you will save yourself months of mental anguish

God this is so me on so many levels.

this sites quite something, i'm giving relationship advice to a kid 5 years younger than me while on my third ambien for the night since I cannot sleep.
godspeed user
goodnight me
later punks

Night user

Cut it off dude it may hurt like hell right now but I promise you it'll be so much more bearable than all the hurt you'll experience by being friends with someone who doesn't really care about you

OP, that artwork is beautiful.
Any more like it?

Look up picassos blue period. All of his paintings had this same feeling during that time

Thank you so much