Without laughing

Without laughing.

I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could.
Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.

I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the gorilla is finished.

You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible.

First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.

Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway.

With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills..

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youtube.com/watch?v=mDXCLah8nMM
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I dont think any human can take out a gorilla without a weapon

OP here, totally wrong, I would probably approach the fight with a strong leg sweep followed by a swift jab to render the ape unconcious

Forget the gorilla idiot
A CHIMP could easily rip your face off

I'm not laughing. I genuinely think you're retarded.

I just...just...

forget primates, a poodle could fuck up op

Shit b8 kill yourself

Gorillas, and most other aboreal apes are several multiples of the best a human can do, regarding brute force per pound.

How many times has this been posted? I get a good laugh from threads like this, but I want to see what would actually happen when a Sup Forumstard goes up against a gorilla.
Stop being a pussy, buy a GoPro (or have friends record it) and go to the zoo and punch a gorilla square in the face.

If you think you're ready to square up, then square up nigger
You're 1 zoo ticket from your dreams, just gap the fence and your good

It's pasta, newfags.

...

You will either get fucked or get proper fucked!

Please please please try it OP, and film it of course, get your friend to post results, you'll be in no shape to do it.

Do it. Animals generally suck at boxing and MMA skills. They are limited to "lunging" which of course can easily be out-maneuvered (pic related).

Yeah, I bet a gorilla wouldn't even know how to escape a triangle or an armbar. Should be easy to make it tap.

>I genuinely think you're retarded
When bait-takers drown in their own irony

THIS !!!!!!!!

For the Cock of the almighty, THIS !!!!!!!

This made me kek legit

>Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway.
Why would a gorilla have a knife you idiot

What is delusional

...

yeah, I could fuck a gorilla up too.

they are slow and stupid. It's not much different than fighting a fat nigger

>a strong leg sweep

That wont work on a gorilla, youll probably break your leg
Hell that shit doesnt work well on people, you watch too many movies

gorilla has good FOV faggot. ghod i hate normies

Gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8 and all that

Carefull buddy, you're dealing with a retard here.

Kek

Someone told me kangaroos are dangerous. Not just boxing wise, but they can kick the fuck out of you.

I'd pay real $$$ to see you try.
Seriously.

No they wouldn't, because their brains aren't very advanced. An experienced MMA fighter could easily defeat a gorilla.

Only one way to find out...
Eye of the tiger, buddy! You got this.

That's only if they can get their (short) arms on your shoulders to hold on while they kick. That's why you stay out of their arms' reach and they're defenseless until they hop away.

I sincerely hope that this is pasta now. Is this pasta yet?

An average chimpanzee -a primate roughly 1/2 to 1/3 the size of the average adult human male- is capable of rending the arms of said average adult human male clean from the body with minimal effort. He can, with HIS bare hands, literally rip the scalp off your skull. That's about a 130 lb. animal doing that. A gorilla weighs 350.

You could could train MMA for 50 years and be the biggest, baddest boxer on the planet with all the strength training physically possible for you to have; that gorilla is still going to shit all over you and make you his bitch forever, OP.

You will not beat him with sweeps or kicks or a knife. He will fold you in half six times and fuck the creases with his tiny gorilla dick.

I will honestly pay 1000.00 to see someone try to get a gorilla. Entirely serious.

Thats fucking stupid. I'd lay down all sexy like. Lure him over with my hot body and when he came to say whats up, I'd transition to backpack position and sink in the rear naked choke. Dead gorilla.

That's why you need to practice kickboxing before fighting one

Can we start a gofundme for this? I'd go broke just to see a gorilla tear someone's arms off.

I'll put down $6000.00 to see this too.
Not even kidding, my paypal is fucking ready.

I could do that easy. As soon as the gorilla charged at me I would effortlessly leap over its head. Next I would use my extreme speed and strength to latch onto its neck and slowly choke it to death, or just snap its neck depending on how merciful I feel. Any sudden moves by the gorilla I would be able to instantly predict and counter with my years of martial arts training. I wouldn't even need to use my obvious weapon of choice. I bet Ken-sama is sweating right now just imagining such a superior fighter that is me. Nothing personnel

The amount of power your legs can generate is crazy dude. I've seen a guy kick down a tree using just his legs.

I'd you're untrained then youd break your leg, but if you have been training for years and have conditioned your leg to strike objects then you could do some damage to a gorilla

If the gorilla can't catch you then be can't tear your limbs

good rage thread op

Now, in all seriousness (and this is something I think about every time I go to the zoo) how large of an animal do you you think you could personally subdue (incapacitate or kill) in an unobstructed, no-assistance environment, like an empty gym or racquetball court?

I immediately think I could get something like a racoon down just by sitting on it or applying body weight, but those fuckers have claws and teeth and it would be highly unpleasant. Anything bigger than a large dog would be really, really difficult; by the time you get to deer-sized, there's no way.

Thoughts?

this thread is so hilarious, and you're completely disillusioned btw. A gorilla can lift 1800 lbs and crush your skull if it wanted to. You think some punches to its thick ass head would knock it out?

I would defeat a gorilla the same way that Bruce Lee would defeat Mike Tyson, with superior speed and strategy

I thought they leaned back on their tail to kick

OP here, Have a go fund me set up to establish the fight,
lucky for you guys I just left a serious relationship and a long-time job so all I have is time to train and destroy gorillas

go fund me / how-to-kill-a-gorilla

yes, kangaroos have several inch long nails(pretty much claws) on their toes, and at being over 7 foot in height and usually weighing about 200 pounds, they have more than enough strength to disembowel you

Yep, nice pasta

...

I completely agree with you, my I've down judo for 17 years and have won a multitude of championships in my nation, I know I more than enough capability to choke out a gorilla...

This. If some bitch as little white kid could get in, you can. I just hope they shoot you instead of the gorilla, because, I mean, your a faggot, so...

Fuck your bait

Go fight a gorilla, but take lots of film, from different perspectives. Want to see fresh rekt content of your faggot ass getting killed.

One you defeat all the chads, you have to defeat th final boss

Humans fight like humans it may not be apparent but a certain level of emotion logic and reasoning goes into fighting another human even when they guy is trying to kill you. With a silver back there is no emotion logic or reasoning (at least in the sense you'd understand) it'll be a very unpredictable fight with you dead and Him eating your meaty parts

>leg sweep on a 100lb tree stock leg while it also leans on it's 100 lb tree stock arms

yeah you fucking retard please make my day

A gorilla can lift 8,000 pounds (4 tons). Good luck

this and only this.

no fun allowed if it's this simple

A gorilla can lift 4 tons (8,000 lbs). Good Luck

A gorillaz can lift an average sized car

The vegan diet makes em pussy

you should call up the Cincinnati zoo....I heard theyre experts at taking down gorillas

Better get studying some moves user..
youtube.com/watch?v=mDXCLah8nMM

Keyboard warrior ain't shit

Enough talk. Go do it then OP. record and become a legend. Otherwise shut the fuck up pussy.

lmao you're gonna fuckin die

(You) (OP)
Go Fund Me will cover camera costs + tripods so I can set up in a good location in the wilds and for travel costs and additional preparations

Please make the attempt. Have a friend record your gruesome death. Post on Sup Forums. Thanks