ITT: We recount embarassing stories from when we were just wee lads

ITT: We recount embarassing stories from when we were just wee lads

>be me, 17 years old
>go to a high school afterparty at some place
> i don't like parties so i get really drunk
>i really need to piss so i stagger to the toilet
>take a long, satisfying piss
>i walk out of the toilet
>older guy standing there with a couple of other people around him
>"dude, why did you go to the girl's toilet?" he asks me
>he asks this several times, and i'm so fucking drunk and out of it i just keep saying "w-what? what are you talking about?"
>then i stagger past him and go home

>be me 13 years old
>be in class break
>went to classroom because i forgot my lunch
>found the bully of the class blowing the beta guy
>get lost

>be kid, elementary school
>just transferred over from another school
>no friends, but classmates warm up
>become funny kid in class
>signature bit was doing the "D'oh" thing Homer does
>yea
>It got old quick but didn't notice cause just wanted to entertain other kids and make friends
>finally someone stops me cold in my tracks, saying to me "that isn't funny anymore"
>my smile fades away
>super embarrassed. Go home and cry.

I never stopped trying to be the entertaining person but now live in fear of being annoying like that one day in elementary school.

>be me, 6th grade
>think its lunch time
>actually math class
>walk down to empty cafe
>wonder around aimlessly
>go to bathroom and read
>i leave the bathroom still unsure what to do
>remember how i told mom i was a bit hot in the morning
>she told me to call her if i needed to be picked up
>go to nurses office
>escape from school with mom
>find out brother in car too
>he was in same situation

fuck reading that back makes this seem more of a feels post than anything. sorry didn't mean for that to happen

>be 12 yrs
>sit on the far edge of the classroom
>be not so popular but still had friends
>sometimes teacher would have to leave to have a chat with the teacher next door before we changed classroom
>class would get quiet or start talking
>i would scream like a banshee as loud as a i could because i thought i had mutant powers and could damage people with voice
>did this every time
>mfw i'm reminded every night

>be me 6th birthday
>sugar rush wearing off and starting to crash
>have to shower so sleepily walk to bathroom
>some girl left her bathing suit here
>put it on and pass out in the shower
My family took photos and showed it to me. I wanted to fuckin die

Aunt lived next door, a blackout drunken type. I discovered that she wakes up for nothing when dead drunk. After I fucked her dozens of times for a month while she was dead to the world, I miscalculated one night. Right as I was finishing inside her, she woke up to see what I was doing and saw the vagi-lube on the night stand. Things were awkward ever since. My life was literally was on lockdown for the next 6 years when I turned 18 and moved out.

Lol this is my fav so far

...

Yeah, everlasting punishment for a month of bad behavior at age 12 that stopped after I was caught. My parents were more upset than my aunt. My aunt forgave me, my parents washed their hands of me when I turned 18. Grandparents washed their hands of me the instant they heard of what I did. I was a hormone-retarded 12 year old.

>be me, 17 years old
>have 7 inch long and thick fat dick but am autistic as fuck
>eventually get girlfriend in high school
>manage to seduce her at my place
>she pulls out cock "is that thing real?!"
>she proceeds to give me roughest toothiest blowjob ever
>she is supposed slut but doesnt help me at all
>be me forcing massive erection into non wet pussy
>she doesnt help
>it doesnt fit
>I dont know what to do
>panic mode
>erection is throbbing like crazy
>she is basically dead fish
>take off condom
>try to put away massive raging erection
>lay down next to her and do nothing

>be me chilling with my bros during one winter
>we talking about our dream jobs and how we're going to change the world
>Chad bro comes up and tells us we're never going to achieve them because we're failures
>can't retaliate because Chad bro is too massive
>home starts shaking and we start panicking
>we're all headed out the door all at once
>we all make it out but our home is gone
>someone said it's going to be alright
>we all start heading to our next lodge
>after some time i see the new home
>we start racing to get in first to claim our bed
>almost there
>Chad bro collapses, i don't look back because he's a dick
>i make it in first my greatest victory!
>look out the door, all my bros exhausted from our travels and passing out
>with a huge grin i close the door
>tfw I made it
>tfw i'm a sperm cell
>tfw chad was right

older guy was just a faggot trying to make himself look cool not really embarrassing could happen to anyone who was drunk

only advice I can give which I'm sure you know by now is never have any role models from any animated series

10/10

>be me, 14
>mom has a hot friend who's coming by the house to pick something up
>i'm the only one home
>my idiot hormone raddled mind has a plan
>i get a boner thinking about the hot MILF
>doorbell rings
>i take my hard dick out of my pants, grab the thing she's there to pick up and open the door
>i hand her the thing, then she looks down and sees my throbbing cock
>she looks back up at me and says "well thanks" and gets outta there
>the incident is never mentioned
>i'm lucky as fuck she didn't call the cops

Its been a long time that there was something good to read on here 11/10

koole.

don't force yourself

It's ok, dude. How long ago was that?

last year