ITT: We create superpowers that are only useful in extremely vague ways or that have really stupid limitations.
The ability to thicken your eyebrows on command.
The ability to force someone to eat a small amount of mayonnaise.
The ability to kill anyone over 93 years old in one punch.
The ability command a slav to throw a rock at you.
Let's see how creative Sup Forums can get.
the ability to levitate at your own maximum jump hight for half a second
The ability to see through your eyelids only when you blink, not when you keep them closed.
The ability to read someone's mind, but only if they are thinking about a senator from Michigan.
The ability to recite every infomercial script ever created
The ability to open locked doors, but only if you have the key in your other hand
The ability to lift 31 times your body weight, but only in the form of DVD copies of The Haunted Mansion starring Eddie Murphy
The ability to taste any other mans penis from a womans vagina
I love it.
The ability to feel a smell in your feet.
The ability to turn invisible when no one is looking at you
The ability to sneeze mustard gas unaffected. But you can only do it if you have malaria.
Hearty KEK.
The ability to organize a Kekistan rally, but only with the most retarded trolls from the depths of Sup Forums.
The ability to go back in time to stop Hitler, but it turns out Hitler is your great great grandfather.
You can read peoples minds,
But only when they think about the economic status of Zimbabwe
The ability to make money
>but only when you go to work
You are able to moisturize other peoples lips while they are sleeping without using physical contact
The ability to ejaculate ar15 rounds, but only if you fap to straight missionary porn.
The ability to stare at the sun for three hours without going blind but only on Tuesdays during a leap year at 12:32 pm, all pain someone would recieve from staring at the sun is still felt.
The ability to survive jumping off of a very tall building, but you still break every bone in your body, leaving you in a completely vegetative state.
you stopped him. You didn't kill him. you're fine.
lemme try.
>the ability to inform anyone in the civilized world of any information you choose to convey
>can only post on Sup Forums
The ability to win any argument you encounter online, but you can only respond in binary code
the power of predict specs of future gaming consoles, but only from ouya inc´s
The ability to correctly guess the side of a coin 52% of the time.
Kek
The ability to see the future 1 second ahead.
01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
I was about to post the same thing except you know all the political view that are correct and how to build utopias but only post Sup Forums
The ability to enlighten someone on the falseness of the Holocaust, but only if they are in the lowest of social and economic classes. (I.e. homeless heroin addicts, drunken hoboes, schizophrenics, liberals, etc...)
The ability to not be affected by anabolic steroids so you can stop entering body building competitions
The ability to consume bedsheets with no side affects, but only if you recently had sex on it
The ability to kill anybody but only when they are naked and touching you
The ability to turn water into wine, but you have to piss on it first
The ability to always be straight, but youre only attracted to traps.
The ability to have a full 5 bars signal (wifi/4g/LTE/whatever) when you would otherwise only have 4.
You can shoot lasers from your penis for 24hrs, but only if you've recently been kicked in the nuts 10x
> Straight
> Attracted to traps
Pick one faggot.
the power to be able to see the future, except you see it from the POV of a flower that's in Nigeria
the ability to travel to the future one second at time
This is a data mining thread
OP is farming ideas for the meme stock market
The ability to have sex with anyone who gives you their consent and a private location in which to perform coitus.
OP here.
Essentially, yeah.
let's get him rich
Oh shit
The ability to instantly kill yourself but feel like you're being torched for a year strait
That would be dope as fuck to get little glimpses of what the future would look like. I'd love to see what my city looks lie 100 years from now even if it was for one second
>ᵗʰᵉ ᵃᵇᶦᶫᶦᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʷʳᶦᵗᵉ ᵒᶰᶫʸ ᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᵇˢᵘʳᵈᶫʸ ᵍᶦᵃᶰᵗ ᶫᵉᵗᵗᵉʳˢ
fuck
The ability to crack open a cold one with the boys.
The ability to grow unlimited amounts of weed, but only after joining ISIS
Have the power to understand preform and have knowledge to advance civ ahead 5000 years
>but you are black
that's a super power for real
a mean a super super useful ability
The ability to make your preferred political party unable to succeed at something you really wanted them to do.
You become the greatest super hero
You are Pepsiman
The ability to change the length of your left thumb, but only when you’re within 6 feet of your mom.
The ability to turn air into millions of dollars, but only during your last 5 minutes alive
The ability to cram all the information needed for a test and remember it perfectly, but only after having sex with your cousin
The ability to never have to eat or drink again to live but the feeling of needing too never goes away
convenient
So do you procrastinate by incest?
The ability to get away with calling Moot a faggot.
>here is a weeb one
You can bring your waifu to life and have muti copy of her
>she will only love someone else and despises you for bring her to the real world
fucking Chihiro
pee without having to stand up
The ability to use any existing super power, however just a trial version, with upgrade packages starting at $19.95 of a currency you will never acquire
you mean getting a vagina?
The ability to get away with being racist, homophobic, sexist, -ist, but you have to be a disabled retarded black female
OH shit that already exists
The ability to suffer from severe depression, but not be able to get any form of assistance for it.
I choose the ability to make people think they are about to have an orgasm. They don't have one but think they are about to.
Hey you can always rape her right?
The ability to be invincible, but only when you are uncontrollably high on heroin.
where is the "obscurity" or the but _
why would you rape your waifu?
no really, that's fucked up even for Sup Forums
the ability to shit gold but only at the ghetto-est Detroit street corners
Dood...that aint cool
Do you guys think this thread will ever catch on? I made one in the past but this never showed up again.
The ability to perfectly impersonate Adolf Hitler when stuck in the middle of an ANTIFA riot.
Ability to make cool comments in this thread, but only after being called a faggot.
>Chihiro
no lie I was looking at hentai of her like 20 mins ago
faggot
The ability to edit anyone's tweets to your whim, but only while you're getting a prostate exam
>the ability of your bellybutton start glowing every time someone find a 50$ dollar bill laying on the street
>the ability to instantaneously create any amount of gold you want but all the gold created is located in a cave on one of Jupiter's moon
spoiler:
... you mean him? i mean, he's a guy
The ability to smoke weed everyday but no one you know is holding
Procrastincest
useful for surviving long time, wait for rescue.
>they never come back to rescue you because they think you wouldn't survive for long, lol
How about the power to actively heal or regenerate any wound at half the speed it was gained, but it's really painful to do, like vice grips on your balls painful.
This would do wonders in Congress.
muffin button
meh, here's a beter condition: you can heal anything and anyone but only if you're getting buttfucked by your own mother with a strapon
>crazy diamond looks better now
Ability to instantly induce impotence, but only for traps.
My Man B)
Ability to instantly change your browsing history remotely, but can only change to Sup Forums
You could wreak unimaginable devastation working for a number of governments with good medical care and make a handsome profit doing it.
Not if he is genderbend
That wasn't better. The original is good because it gives an active counter to the benefit, not some wacky prerequisite that is nothing but lolsorandomxD
You could basically end corruption in Zimbabwe with this.
>genuine response on 4 chan
Or become Mugabe 2.0
You could simply lie whenever it suits you.
The ability to take a picture of any mythical creature or cryptid, but only in an incredibly low resolution or during crappy visibility.
Ability to play any instrument flawlessly (can only play wonderwall)
Here is another: you can stop farting and burping indefinitely, except at the end of the day you let out one massive fart/burp proportional to all the gas left unpassed throughout the day
The ability to last as long as you want during sex while you are completely clothed