Have you had a fucked up life so far?

Have you had a fucked up life so far?
Tell a bunch of anons, get it off your fucking chest fuck therapy.
>Be best friends with kid down the street
>They leave for a weekend vacation
>Dad and grandma stay because of work and shes a grandma
>Dad says he is going to take a nap before leaving
>Be upstairs shootin' to shit with grandma cus she rad
>Heard a little 'pop' that grandma doesn't hear
>3 hours go by and havent heard dad
>Grandma notices and starts going full dementia on me
>Tell her he is tired he will leave in morning
>She says no fuck you and calls the cops
>They break down door
>mfw i saw brains and blood splatter at 15
>mfw can't even tell rest of family since non related
>Grandma has mental breakdown and can't even grasp reality
>I cant even grasp reality
>His dad was my dad
>My dad was a junkie whom i saw twice in 10 years
>Family can't even come home for an entire week because he shot himself in the house
>mfw

>Graduated from a top-5 law school
>First job paid $165/year + bonus
>Was heavy drinker since 15 years old
>Became full-blown alcoholic after a few years on the job.
>Got fired
>Kept drinking
>In and out of the hospital to treat the DTs
>Now work as a janitor
>33 years old, no friends, family wants nothing to do with me.

Alcohol ruined my life, but I still love to drink.

could be worse.

I could have been a black woman.

OP here
>Senior year
>Me and friend parted ways because life
>Been drinking and doing/stealing pills to cope
>Grades were never good so going to school fucked up was the norm
>Finally get a new job with some guy from my shop class
>He smokes heroin
>I start smoking heroin
>From graduation until a year and a half later, lost all contact with family, old friends
>Dad finally decides to contact me
>Realizes his son is an addict too
>Never heard from dad again
>nice.jpeg
>Working as a server making booloo $$$
>Get with girl who also uses HARDCORE
>Never shot up nor did I
>Give her some to get her over until after work
>OD's in bathroom
>Cops breakdown door
>Literally walked out of that job and never went back
>MFW 20 and I don't think its worth typing out life story to Sup Forums
>MFW but the thing is, that I have been 4 months sober and can't find it in me to get 'the ball rollin"
>Best friend who's dad shot himself OD'd suddenly with his girl
>mfw i dont even fucking know what life is at ALL

What made you become a full blown alcoholic after you got such a good paying job?
Was it just not what you dreamed it would be, thinking about the goal in the years that you worked FOR that opportunity?
Do you feel bad for losing the job, or do you not care where you are at right now?

bump

>meet friend in college courses freshman year
>invites me over to chill
>girl is there he likes, his best friend's girlfriend
>offers me a little line of heroin
>never done drugs but why not
>nod out so hard I'm basically immobile
>she gets really fucked up too and is on a Xanax bar also
>she passes out and he starts to force himself on her
>I'm kind of coming out of it but still watch in shock but also apathy
>rapes her and cums in his hand
>can't get intimate or sexual with anyone after, get sick thinking about it
I go to therapy now and can't even tell my therapist about it. Fuck.

And goddamn OP your shit is pretty fucked too. Have you thought about therapy?

On a phone so no green text

Very normal childhood I think I don't remember much before high school.

Teenage years shit gets tense I home I leave for uni at 17

First year on my own get defrauded for a lot of money Bank takes all my saving

Start selling drugs

Succeed at selling drugs for several years

Live crazy ass lifestyle for years drugs all day every day every kind at work at home at school always.

Get more serious into drug dealing making alot of doh.

Get a sever head injury. Lose total control of my self control girl friend who lived with me leaves for summer like two days later leaving me totally alone

Literally can't stop taking drugs coke opiates lsd ketamine pot everything. Everything hurts nothing makes sense anymore

Lose my emotional regulation

Get worse into drugs spending thousands a month at this point

After a few years of straight As I finish my final semester with barely a b - average. No longer able to focus on anything.

After graduation quit my part time job and barely able to sell drugs any more

Fall deep in debt to some dangerous characters

Leave town.

It's a year later. I've been doing everything I can to repair my brain. I've regained most of mental capacities still fuck around with drugs sometimes and work a shitty day job. It's kinda hard knowing my life probably peaked like 5 years ago and the future will most likely be a slow and miserable decline until I can muster the strength to kill myself or OD but hey whatever obviously it's not that bad of a life but still sucks

Ive been to so many therapists in a 2 year span
Been on a spectrum of medications
Heard the same cliche "you need to see me more" narrow minded bullshit that I hate more than anything
Heroin was my therapy and source of fun

Heroin is too nice but ketamine is a bit nicer

>washed out of Air Force Basic Training just days after leaving high school
>left Job Corps a few months later, didn't finish/graduate; that place is hell
>kicked out of aunt's house 3 states over (took a bus there), but worked two jobs while living with cousin in same house
>kicked out of cousin's house, had to move back 'home' (took a bus back)
>fired from Yamaha the following year, after only working there for about 3 months
>washed out of Army AIT later that year
>>time passes, moved to Korea with parents
>started Uni, but didn't major STEM for a number of reasons...not all of which I had control over
>didn't become fluent in Korean, and listened to the wrong people which caused me to leave Korea and come back to the U.S. with nothing
>continued university at a state-university, but still didn't major STEM; got two pointless, useless, worthless degrees instead
>year-long unpaid internship didn't amount to anything
>rejected from JET program twice, as well as NOVA
>rejected from various other English-teaching programs for Japan, Korea, and even China
>still living with parents at almost 30
>all family and most friends have abandoned me
>shit job I fucking hate, and most of the workers/upper management hates me, so they've been cutting my hours/pay
>think about death everyday
pretty much....

I am throughly enjoying this thread

Seems like getting that head injury was more or less out of your control. How can you even mutter a day job, I have such the incline to walk out from the smallest inconvenience. Albeit im only 20 but still.

Yes I have
This is all true
I know it's TL;DR but please bear with me

LOL that's brutal but I have a feeling you're leaving out some crucial details. No one can fuck up so many opportunities without doing something wrong or being completely retarted

I did ketamine a few times, but like beer, heroin is an aquired taste. But the taste is stronger than strongman deadlifting at a competition and makes you lose control of your own reality almost way too easily and theres nothing you can do about it except tell yourself for the 100000th time to quit and hope this time along works out. Thats the extent of hope.

>being completely retarted
Thoroughly convinced I'm this. Here's some OC so you know I'm not lying about the living in Korea part. 2009-2012.

Was waste I go knocked off my bike and hut my head on a concrete pillar. I was always wild but never really had self control issues I think I sustained some sub cortical damage in my limbic system. I still remember most things I learned pre injury my degree is in psychology but now learning new skills/info is substantially difficult also.

I feel like you reach too high for what you have became. Take shit step-by-step to consistently move toward your all around goal of getting your dream degree. Working in your dream field even with mountainous debt couldnt be worse than right now? idk tho

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I was a heavy user of opiates/opiods after that especially u47700 for 4 years after that until I fully OD'd and was in a coma almost exactly a year ago. What about these phrases:
>if you don't have God in your life, you'll slip back into drugs (NA/AA)
>don't smoke weed, it'll just make you relapse (therapist)
>video games just make you more violent and dependent on escapism (therapist)
>it's ok, I forgive you. You did bad things. It doesn't mean you're a bad person anymore (my dad)
I hated the bottom one the most, it's so condescending and retarded. I never hurt anyone, stole anything, or out anyone in danger besides myself. I don't have anything in my life besides drugs and I have no drugs now so my life is empty

I fucked with heroine a few times it's nice don't get me wrong I love my opi but they can get boring I don't do any drug Long enough to get physically addicted

double down

Why don't you apply for a government assistance with a deep brain injury like that? I mean until Trump revokes that program too. 10% of something can be better than 100% of nothing.

Elaborate please

I finished university in 2016, but I didn't get my current job until about June, and even then, it's because my parents talked to a neighbor who works for them. I can't go back to school either, because I'm only eligible for 1 semester at best, and that'd come after a lot of begging and pleading.

I cannot accurately convey how much my life sucks right now. I want to die everyday, and sometimes honestly feel like crying.

Oh I'm going out to Air Force Basic in about a year, any tips based on how far you made it?

RIGHT he's basically admitting for you that you ARE a piece of shit, more than you think of yourself as, and follows up with "but its okay"
And since I got sober, life has been steady/on hiatus and its like im terrified to get a normal 9-5 because of past experiences, plus I have a hatred for people because I have been fucked over because of my own kindness too many times, especially in the workplace.

A 2004 movie starring Niel Breen

Haha I can still work and function basically normally jus have problems with certain things I'm not like mentally deficient Im jus nowhere near the level I was once at mentally. Like reading takes me a long time now I used to speed read I can't anymore fucking sucks

I washed out after/during Week 0. Had to spend about 19 days in the (then) 319th TRS holding/separation Flight. It was terrible.

reading these makes me realize how good I've had it
I'm sorry about your lot tho anons

I'll stick around to give words of encouragement if anyone needs

I have literally no clue what your talking about I'm gonna Google niel Breen right now lmao

Man I reallly felt that last part..
it's insane that no matter how much you wanna forget the past and try and start on a clean slate, life doesn't let that happen because of that "your past always catches up with you" shit... I feel you man

So I Googled that. Imdb says it's about some computer loner and terrorists or some shit not sure what your talking about

Some people put themselves through shit, and some people are born in a heap of shit, only to go through more shit because of lack of guidance, or lack of a good sense of adult-ing lol
natural selection i guess...

I really want to believe things will get better. The biggest mistake so far was leaving Korea. I never should have done that.

I would totally be okay with being shot in the back of the head and thrown in a mass grave, Serbia-style. In fact I would welcome it. Any words of encouragement?

>JET program twice, as well as NOVA

JET only "rejects" people at the application phase. If you fucked up that part it means your references were shit, you had no relevant life experience, or you can't write worth shit and you essay was trash.

The other English programs are even easier to get into.

Sounds like you're just an autist.

The second time, I did the actual interview, and everything seemed to go well. My references were great, I had experience with Japanese culture (having interned for a Japanese company for a year), is/was conversational in the language, and even had volunteer work with Japanese students under my belt. I don't understand why, after everything I did, they just....rejected me. They took two of my friends, one of whom didn't even really want to go, but she got it.

LMAO

well shit my guy you didn't give me much to work with

Once thing that keeps me going is that, the more shit you go thru, the better things will get in the far future. Im not sure how relevant that is to reality, but moving to the opposite side of the world can be overwhelming in itself, so you may deep down looked for some sort of convincing to come back home. Especially for someone who probably grew up away from a major city.

Maybe it's because you're a fuckin' loser.

If you're looking for encouragement you're certainly in the wrong place

It's true that for the first few months of being in Korea, I complained about everything; I realized that was because I didn't understand it, and once I started to make efforts to, I began to love everything about Korea but....I still listened to the wrong voices and didn't work on becoming fluent or staying there for good. I came back to nothing, only to find everyone and everything I cared about slowly leaving me, with even my so-called 'family' etching me out of their lives.

Normally, I'd have a wise-response to this but....I've got nothing now.

Going to the bathroom. Pls don't let thread die.

Ah.

After the interview it's all a shit show. If you got rejected at the application phase you're shit. If you don't get an offer after an interview it means you lost the luck of the draw. Maybe the interviewers didn't like your hair, or one thing your said, or they were kind of hungry/tired, or they had no idea what they were doing because the interviewers have no real training at all.

Interview is literally just a matter of luck.I'd honestly try again if you're desperate for things to do. Although you missed this years deadline.

Yeah it's different when you're 20, and everything that has happened to you in life so far, feels so closely compressed, like one after another. Im not talking about what I put myself thru and what I saw while strung out on heroin, I am talking about childhood shit, like my cousin who got exposed to black mold in my basement, and how that side of the family to this day talks shit to my mom, even though they are some junkie ass has beens whose kids are in jail or dead. With all the shit I have been through, everyone who I have talked to in my family since i got sober thinks I have great things in my future. I have never seen anything really great in my life and I frankly don't even know how or what steps to take to even become a full blown adult who can pay taxes, hold a reputable job etc. Its honestly frightening to the thought of getting back out in the real world.

unrelatedfag
I have no fucking idea what any of those letter that stand for something mean.
Do you just jump into army/military in high school, or are you guided to those types of things in life? Not asking for a friend.

bumpers

JET = The Japan Exchange and Teaching Programme

NOVA is just another company that does the same thing.

Anyone with a University Degree in anything (doesn't have to be English, can be STEM) can apply. No other requirements, apart from needing two professional reference letters (which for autists like us is really fucking hard).

OP here, bumping with story
>My mom hears from my dad for first time in years
>Living literally 2 streets away from ariel castro's house (Fucking insanse, I was staying 2 streets away from those girls)
>Yes cleveland
>Dad lives with his 75 y/o drug dealer
>Dad leaves with friend for over 9 hours, leaving me alone which is fine he is stressful to be around
>Comes back incoherant, throws his keys at me and falls into his TV
>Yells at me "WHY DID YOU PUT THAT THERE?"
>Nods out for about an hour literally after hitting his head
>When he wakes, tries to eat something
>Food falls out of his mouth after 2 seconds then yelled at me for making a mess with my dinner, then leaves
>Comes back, eyes closed and falls on bed
>Face turns blue and stops breathing
>I dont wanna tell on my dad to my grandma or my mom because I always wanted to spend time with my dad
>Try to get his 75 y/o roomate to help, to which he says "get out of my face kid"
>Throwing cold water all over him on his bed
>Finally wakes up after slapping him
>Yells at me for getting water on his bed
>passes out anyways in it
>next day I woke up and didnt see or hear from him until I was 19
>tfw

LMAO I thought that was government military shit
Dont you have to know a good amount of language, or be able to successfully communicate with people of that culture to get whatever those programs provide?

Nope. It helps if they want to send you to butt-fuck no where, but usually you'll get a dude that helps you with local shit and speaks some English. They also tend to offer lessons for the language once you reach the country.

Back.

Well, damn, user...I guess I can just stop bothering with Japan entirely now. No more studying Japanese, no more anime, no more Japanese RPGs, etc since I'm apparently 'shit' anyway.

I was the first interview of that day though, so I don't think they were tired/hungry (though the American woman there might have been...she was fat as fuck).

Okay, so you go through the assessment and interview process, in order to reach Japan and do whatever your goals are there?
Im sorry for retard moment

Worst part is, I was never taught/prepared for any of this either. When I think of my teen years, I just mainly remember my step-father constantly arguing with me about pointless shit, and having to cut grass/"fix" lawnmowers all the time instead of actually learning math, science, and doing well in school. Even from middle school, my mom 'encouraged' a C-average, so long as I didn't have to repeat anything and she didn't have to pay for anything.

FUCKING SAME
It didn't matter how well you did in school, It just mattered if you went to get your diploma. I never found anything in school that sparked my interest except playing music (My best talent was playing many instruments with somewhat ease I guess..) I have been thinking about just going to a community college in my area for an associates degree, and in that time I figured I would find out what I wanna do in life. Thing is though, is that with school, you have to juggle a job (just over broke) that you will hate to keep a roof over your head, I never took ACT SATs and every time I read on applying for college, I always kind of feel like I should of tried more when I WAS in school.
I just grew up on knowing how to have a good time and keep the bare minimum steady for your own situation.

>in order to reach Japan and do whatever your goals are there?

The programs are for jobs lol. You're teaching English to kids, although in the case of JET that normally just means playing pre-determined english games with them. The program itself is pretty weird.

So you're going through the program in order to get a paid trip to japan, a place to live in japan, and a place to work. From there you can work/experience life there.

>Well, damn, user...I guess I can just stop bothering with Japan entirely now. No more studying Japanese, no more anime, no more Japanese RPGs, etc since I'm apparently 'shit' anyway.

That'd fit your defeatist mentality pretty well so go for it. Pro-tip though, don't mention anime or JRPGs at the interview, cause you know, they want normies.

Ah I see now, I always believed doing what you are passionate about makes you do good in life, so I mean I can see where the JET user is coming from. He probably realized after going through the actual process, he wasn't as passionate about it as he was hentai lol idk

>I always believed doing what you are passionate about makes you do good in life

Passion only matters if its useful. A guy passionate about licking rocks isn't going to go very far in life on passion alone lol.

A gunshot wouldn't sound like "a little 'pop'"

Are...are you me? I never knew the importance of school and such until *after* I was almost done with it in college (at age 26), and I never took the ACT or SATs either. Parents didn't approve; wanted me to join the military instead, and even made moves to ensure I did, or I'd be kicked out of the house before graduating. For me, school was a way of avoiding constant yard/house work.

I didn't mention it at that time either.

He put a pillow over his head and pressed the small 38 real hard to his head on the pillow.
Also dementia grandma had bad hearing so the 60's shows were on full blast.

what if he's trained his taste buds to detect variations soil compositions and that in turn leads to a discovery? checkmate atheist!

My house never had more than 2 people in at except at night time, so I was ALWAYS with my friends family doing THEIR family shit until their dad killed himself and everything that involved happiness in their life went away like my dad did when I was 12. So as long as my mom didn't have to leave one of her jobs to pick me up, or get a call that I wasn't in school, then it didnt matter what I did there. She never asked for a report card or anything, only wanted to see like awards I got in middle school band lmaooo

Licking rocks took on 2 different meanings here I think.

Pretty rough....

Also this beautiful thread has 6 sets of dubs in it.
Thanks high power, at least something matters lmao

7 actually bam wuh-bam

lawyers are very often hardcore alcoholics. the job has really long hours and it is very stressful. but since 95% of lawyers are alcoholics, you have to reeeaaalllly fuck up to get fired. like, shit your pants in front of a client during a meeting.

Ya like I slowly believe in natural selection, more and more as I see kids I went to school with, who are rich and had college paid for before they graduated high school, going on to do big great things in life. Grew up the poor kid in a upper middle class school

Haa I knew a kid who I gave some vodka to in school, he got so wasted so quick he went to the bathroom, pissed with his pants up, then came back to class
Also nice user

At this point for me, almost everyone I went to high school with is now married and with children, not to mention working great jobs making more than twice what I do at this 'job' I'm seemingly stuck doing.

>be 28
>have had four jobs in the last year
>none fired but left for more money,hostile work environment
>Have two herniated discs and will need spinal fusion surgery
>Girlfriend understands and waits for me to find a footing
>want to get us a house and have kids
>making her wait while I think about going back to college
>Feel like a fucking loser even though she supports me fully whatever I do

I just wanna settle on a job and be a provider,but my spine and other shit makes it harder and harder.

My dream.....have a decent house with at least 5 acres to farm,grow and raise animals to be a little self sustaining and raise 3 kids.Be a grandpa and then die.I dont wanna be famous. Have millions or a cool sports car.

The kids who I fucked off with, most of them didnt get into what I got into, but now that I am sober and got in touch with some of them, they are either living with their mom still, or borderline homeless like yours truly. I feel like I havent really got out there since stopping dope, but like IDK if there is a lot of time to fully recover your mind from that shit, especially at so young. I know I am not lazy like some of those kids I was talking about, Its just the path to go down that frankly scares the fuck outta me.

>always had food and family growing up
>went to college
>got a gf
>she cheated on me with a friend from back home
>get really depressed
>fail a bunch of classes
>repeat sophmore year on academic probation
>change majors to STEM
>meet new gf and move in with her
>we graduate
>she gets her phd
>get a job in oilfield
>buy a house
>have a kid
>she gets a job paying more than me

man life sucks

Keep those dreams man.. Your girl encouraging you can really help with that. If I were you, I would get the surgery so your all around attitude towards the world doesn't go to shit because of the constant pain. The longer you sit on it, the worse the pain gets, and the more bitter you can get. You can get like some restricted work hours, build your strength back up, and show your girl and more importantly yourself that you REALLY wanna change and aren't just whining about life in general.

Well we all know who sits missionary on the bed too, thanks for your input

Really thinking of making the leap to hit college for dental assistant.Good money wont be so back on back or back after surgery.Thanks for the encouragement bro.

Im sorry I just took the time to read this.
This is some humbling sad shit right here...
I don't even know what to say about it to be honest

It's okay, nobody ever does.

I'm having CBT sessions with a psychologist. It's going to take at least a year.

I'm losing weight so they can do surgery on me and hopefully fix my spine. I'm not done yet. I have too much left to accomplish.

As for my "parents".. I disowned them, i've since moved house, they'll never know where I am.

I just take it day by day.

Saddest thing is too, he never mentioned his parents after they kicked him out in that.. Thats lodged in my head now man

Maybe that is for the better, they never taught you anything about the real life world, except the reality of THEM.. I hope that your back surgery can help you in some way to get your commercial drivers license and go to trucking school. You can go cross country and just forget about any of your past life because of all the new memories and scenery to be seen on the road.

Also your ambition for a normal life is inspiring for someone like me. I hope you know that user

>was pre-med at a university
>straight A's
>gorgeous girlfriend who was also pre-med
>start growing weed
>start shooting dope
>start sucking dick
>start fucking traps
>girl finds out, leaves me
>start smoking crack
>start smoking PCP
>keep sucking dick
>rehab
>try to kill myself
>psych ward x2
>rehab again
>work in shitty factory for a year
>clean for a year and a half
>engineering student
>straight A's
>the story has no ending because it is up to date

Things quickly went downhill with my family.

I would be invited over for christmas, and then kicked out on boxing day with the threat of the police if I didn't leave.

They fucked me over financially a few times. They were selling me a car I had paid $1,100 off, they asked for it back. I gifted it back to them on the condition it stayed with my stepfather.

On the day they picked it up, they both waited outside for 4 hours until the tow truck showed. They wouldn't come inside even though it was a hot day and I had air conditioning.

A week later - they posted the car for sale on facebook. I never got my money back, that was the final straw. I told them to get out of my life.

All they taught me was what NOT to do in life.

Deviant narcissists, both of them.

I hope so too. I want a slice of real life before I die.

The psychologist is helping undo everything they have done to me.

Thankyou for your kind words.

I'm glad I inspire you.

Your life is YOURS. never forget that. You don't owe anyone but yourself shit.

Good job on getting clean man, getting your head cleared and put together enough to go back to college for engineering and get straight A's is pretty impressive from a realistic perspective, also don't judge yourself either because the people around you have fucked up pasts that deep down is gonna catch up with them in their mid life crisis and fuck up even more lol.

I know that feeling of your parents doing you grimy like that as well.. my grandpa had $2,000 saved up for me old school (in a safe) and all the money I got for christmas and birthday that I saved up for years just because I didnt know what to spend money on, (sorry ramble) was stolen by my dad, and that was a surprise too because I didnt see him for almost 4 years.

Also truck driving school is a breeze, so I mean once you go through surgery and you recover from that, I DEFINITELY don't see you having any problems fulfilling that goal. Just get one of those Dr. Schoals type things for your back haha

You should come to Taiwan. There’s lots of jobs for people like you, and most of the universities will let you (a foreigner) study for free.

It's easier to get a truck license here than it is a forklift ticket, so i'm confident.

I'm under the public health system, so it will take a little while. But i'm patient.

Sorry your dad did that to you man, that's shit. My parents got me to sign a blank cheque as part of a "game", and then went and withdrew my life savings that my nan had set up for me. So I certainly know the feel well.

Heroin addict for 6 years then got meth in the mix for the last two of that 6. Went to prison for a year, got out in march now im in a sober home working non stop. Im on probation for the next four years as well. I just want to run off and start doing heroin and meth again and see how long it will be before all this shit catches back up with me and im back in prison. Goddamn and im 1 1/2 years sober and i have never been this miserable. I just want to throw everything away and go fly a sign on the highway and disappear

Nice dubs

I went to a vocational school my junior and senior year, where I got a forklift driving license just because I was good with driving anything. My grandma was a boss of a brush manu. company so I drove her forklift with papers, the whole 9 yards for about 3 months while working a summer job, when the plant finally went bankrupt. My grandpa died like 6 months later, so my grandma changed in a lot of ways. Shes like the reason my dad is still alive, why most people in my family have cars, food every week, all of that shit, but all of my cousins on that side of the family are full blown junkies who take advantage of her every chance they get, when she only does it out of love and to just see them finally succeed in life.

Ive been 4 months sober which is longest i've bee sober since I started using at 17. I can't even mutter myself to get a normal job and deal with the grimy people that go along with a grimy job. The only thing I want to do is disappear from all life situations and let fate guide the way or some gay bullshit like that idk.
That combo is a hard one to fully kick too, but prison just becomes a cycle along with the drug problem, and it will wear you down to even more nothing than what you feel right now. My dad is the exact description of that cycle, only reason he stopped is because he somehow knew his body couldn't do even 1 more ride like that.

It sucks finding a job but once you get one embrace it you know. Im not like emotionally depressed im just bored out of my fucking head. I need some shit going down, i miss the junkie lifestyle out all night coming to work tired and fucked up and just barely getting by. Now i go to bed by 1 and im up by 830 or nine. This shits so redundant. I just want to be a piece of shit again not this productive bullshit

Ya that is some truth right there.
I always worked restaurant jobs because a junkie can fit in so easily to that environment, and thats how I always paid for my dope. Jobs are so picky about past work experience too that like I can only get into another restaurant job without having to go through interview after fucking interview. Holding a job is easy, but this is a cycle for me now that always ends up me relapsing hard as fuck

Holy shit dude thats fucking hilarious im a goddamn waiter aswell.
Yea cash every night is a curse sometimes

that or his drinking just reached a point where he couldn't keep up with responsibilities/ perform well enough at his job

>get a gf who still gets a phd and high paying job after getting together
>life sucks
dude what? She sounds like a catch of a lifetime.

bump

Haa cash is my trigger if I make it im trying to spend it that night, like I can't sleep or sit still without getting fucked up with that money in some way.