Tomorrow I'm going down to the recruitment station and I'm going to try and find out how to enlist. Any advice?

tomorrow I'm going down to the recruitment station and I'm going to try and find out how to enlist. Any advice?

Yeah, remember to get shot in the head. Another loser dead.

Go officer. It will take more time and every expense will be from your pockets, but, you will have the sweet officer life and 10 years of experience for your resume for the rest of your life.

well the thing is i want to go in use the education opportunity i can during my 4 years active and then gi bill to try and get a degree and then if i like it try to go back as an officer

It's the other way around, if you enter as enlisted you are so gonna regret it.

join the Marines pussy

well im sure that will be the case but i want to use them so i can achieve a better life down the road and i probably can't go officer because i have no degree and enlisted would help me get that

Listen to this guy
except
>every expense will be from your pockets

That's bullshit. Get some fucking As in your first semester of college and land a scholarship. Tuition, fees, and a monthly paycheck provided with it.

Get a job that you can eventually do on the outside. Electrician, hvac, etc.

marines would be okay if I was born on a farm or retarded but I wasn't and I'm not so sorry

go spec ops thats what im doing cct, pj, sere, even tac-j or weatherman are all worthy positions that make the marines look like pussies and the other spec ops to shame

Yeah, enlist in another branch.
Implying he'll ever see any combat at all, let allowed allowed to stand up from behind his desk in the Chair Force.

Let alone*

I forgot that Sup Forums was mostly comprised of weeaboo virgin faggots. carry on then zoomie wannabe

Ive seen lots of people say that you shouldn't enlist just because you want a better future, you should enlist because you want to be there and be in thew field of work.

The recruiter will say literally anything to get you to do exactly what he wants.

Words. Mean. Nothing.

95% of what comes of what comes out of their mouths is bullshit, and it's perfectly legal for them to do. Do not take any deal unless you have exactly what you want in a hard copy contract.

yep. not everyone is officer material. shit, plenty of officers I've met aren't officer material. just because you have a degree doesn't magically make you fit to lead anyone.

well my family is full of ex military and I 've always wanted to serve. Also the big reason I chose ir force over the rest is they seem to have the most things I could actually use I'm not going to try and enlist into a mos I hate or one that won't teach me shit

Get a job you are interested in, do not take open general. Use the Tuition Assistance program once you are in. Actually fucking use it. Do not forget about it. Make your goal, if you enlist for four years (you should do six), to be completing a bachelor's degree, failing that, at least get an associates. After you get out in 4-6 years, go right to school and finish a bachelor's or masters. Period. Do not pass go, do not collect 200.

This is mostly true.

The thing is, people that get into think they are getting their life fixed for them and they will have a better finances for their stupid bullshit. This is all wrong.

Enlisted are the bottom of the tottem in everything. The actual money they take home is shit, their GI Bill is getting fucked by stupid ass'd regulations and their veterans benefits are being cut by the government.

Join if you really, really, really want a piece of action... every couple months. Trust me, it the actions moments will be worth it.

I have friends in other branches who have told me the exact same thing. I'm not signing shit unless I can see it in writing

this guy is fkn stupid they have the lowest promotion rate for enlisted than any other branch

You're just jelly we get air conditioning in the field, scrubnuts

I'm in the delayed entry program atm. All you have to do is have a decent asvab score, be in decent shape, and not be a complete fucking retard. I'd say try and score around a 70 tho asvab wise, dood

It doesn't matter even if it's in a hard copy contract because once you're sworn in you are their bitch. They can go ahead and flip the script on you at the drop of a dime if they see fit and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

Literally useless amerifats.

im not going to swear in until I see exactly what I want. I have no problem walking away

Well, prepare to be dissapointed.

80% of what they teach you will be fucking useless and the other 20% you will learn it at the field.

Also, get ready to be yelled at for no fucking reason at all. Personally I don't give two shits, but it gets a little annoying sometimes.

No.. I'm embarrassed for you. You PT on exercise bikes for Christ sakes. The AF has the lowest physical fitness standards of any branch, even lower than the Navy and that's SAAAAAD. But hey. Cushy pay, easy job and the technical right to tell people you "served." Go for it.

depends on your MOS. I made E5 in 3 years. you also have more responsibility at each rank than the other branches. I guess that's all the military is about though, promotions.

Yes, but even if you see exactly what you want, it can change and most likely will once you're in and it's too late. It happens ALL the time. Do you know how many people want to be heroes and enlist in the Corps as infantry, and end up spending 4-6 years scrubbing toilets and mopping floors?

and to top it off I make 115k doing the same sit-on-my-ass job as a defense contractor 45 minutes from Malibu. So, I made good life choices.

Some people didn't.

Good man. Did that a few years back, now I can hit a target 500 yards away with my uzi 9mm

See
It's mostly lazy assholes that "Don't want to be no nerdy fucker" who don't get promoted.

Volunteer, study your damn guides, ace the PT and you are on your way to some sweet promotions.

Also, wear the damn uniform right.

thats why i need everything in writing

kys

You are missing my point entirely. Even if you have EVERYTHING in writing, even if the recruiter wears a frilly pink dress and sucks your penis while you sign the dotted line, it can change in a second once you're in.

Better learn to read first then

And the fact that we don't need stupid assholes to die in combat wouldn't be a reason?

Seriously, you are sent there to do your damn work. Not to party like a college girl, get drunk and do fucking everything half assedly.

thats not really true with the air force. almost everyone who goes in with a job ends up doing it. the only way to get reclassed is to fuck up in basic or tech school, and even then it doesnt always happen

I'm not disagreeing, but what I'm saying is that many people have expectations when the enlist and end up disenchanted and disappointed. Yes, you're there to do your job... but a lot of times recruits are misled into thinking they'll get the job of their choice and it's simply not true.

yep. granted, my cutting scores were slightly low (1630s) for both cpl and Sgt, but the only people I know who didn't pick up quick were lazy turds. It's not hard to succeed in the Marines. Boots just become jaded after like 2 years.

hes getting at people sign up to do infantry and your a glorified mexican the whole time never seeing combat and doing training and cleaning the battalion and cutting the grass and doing dumb details

I will give you the most important advice out of all of these. Absolutely DO NOT let the AF choose your job for you. Your recruiter can call you with openings every couple of days and choose one of them but if you don't think something doesn't sound good you are not forced to do it until you goto basic. And Absolutely DO NOT do maintenance. Here at my base we literally have people in maintenance kill themselves all the time.

probably the ones that have to change the jizz filters in the showers

Thank you.

Jizz filters? I'd love to have one of those and check on its progress after a month. I beat it in the shower all the time.

This is my point.

From my experience, this is most of the cassess of people that end up as the "Official Janitor". These are the same guys that blow up a toilet with matches and tooth paste (still wondering how they actually managed it to this day).

I mean, personally I enjoyed my "Literine Cocktail" back in my days, but that was another level of stupid.

To elaborate on this;
>Don't get on anybody bad side early, or better yet, never
>Don't lock eyes with your superiors, even if they are friendly
>Don't do stupid shit and follow what you are told to the letter
Also, common patience. You might have to wait for a spot on the job you want, but it will be worth it.

Wait, are those real?

Heres some advice...

Go Air Guard, commit 1 weekend a month/ whatever training they send you to and get free college. If you want a job it'll usually be very easy to get one on the base that lasts through the summer.

Finish your free college then apply to be an officer. You'll go in with a higher pay from years of experience, you'll get more respect from being prior service and you'll actually know the culture before you sign up for "hurr I can lead". If you sign up to be an officer at the base your already at you will likely have a low amount of competition for the slot.

Oh yeah and then you'll get to go to a shorter officer training than the ROTC faggots.

Stay for 20/30 years of 1 weekend a month and get your retirement. Even after getting a much better pay as a civilian.

BONUS: if you sign up for a career that's actually worth it in the civilian world (pilot, IT, medical, civil engineering). Then you will get a network of bros from the military that you can network with to give you a leg up. Every drill weekend you'll meet with friends who work the same career field as you but work at different companies. Its awesome for getting advice, getting a leg up and hearing about jobs before they get posted.

>Wait, are those real?

what do you think stops the jizz in the showers from fucking up the pipes

Holy shit. Am gonna look into this.

get your recruiter to put all of his claims about the benefits and pay and shit signed and in writing.

half of what he tells you about being in the military will be baldfaced lies.

Is everyone masturbating at once into one drain? Is there something in their food that makes their semen turn into something like liquid concrete that doesn't just get broken and watered down and go down the drain normally?

This is false.

I"ve seen people fail out of tech school and get the option of "retrain or non-retain". Its likely much different outside of the AF but I do remember in 2008/iraq surge they let people do a ranger option in the army where they didn't have to stay if they failed out. (which was a really bad deal for the army)

go to the guy in charge of the cleaning supplies , ask for something called " dream-catchers"

OP, why you wanna be a fukin Wing Nut?

I mean, they aren't standing around the same drain, but if there's 15-20 showers in a bay, and they all end up piping together at some point underneath the showers, then yeah, it gets bad. Especially when there are smaller-load pipes like on navy ships. Gets spunk-gunky man

Of COURSE that happens. I'm not saying that you are 100% going to get screwed, im saying that it very possibly COULD happen and does all the time, and maybe to prepare for a little disappointment.

Everyone is blowing and jerking each other off on navy ships anyways.
NAVY. Need Any Vaseline Yet?

why do you think they call them
>seamen

this is why we join the navy, blowin' and glowin'

gives the boots that nice extra shine

Once airborne, remember that pushing the steering control forward will send you down, not up.

...

or you could just plug in your xbox controller

I wish i had waited for the medical job i wanted but there is no use now. If i can cross train to another job, great! But i am pretty sure maintenance is just the life for me now.

unfortunately this is a real thing. Once you sign that paper, literally anything short of being raped, the AF can do to you.
"Yeah, but i have this in writing"
Sorry bud, no one gives two shits

>go spec ops thats what im doing cct, pj, sere, >even tac-j or weatherman are all worthy >positions that make the marines look like >pussies and the other spec ops to shame

TAC-J?...KYS now before you even go thru assessment you don't even know what you are talking about

TAC-J

After you complete you active duty obligation go air guard or national guard and get a job working at an air base. I'm nat guard working out of where I drill as a technician. It gives great benefits, I still get to do army ooah stuff and I get to go home every day

This is good advice

Don't tell them you've smoked weed.or have add/ been taking any medication

>weatherman makes the marines look like pussies
Hahahahahahahahaha

All losers eventually join the military. Too stupid for University faggot?

but aren't you fucked if they findout you lied?

nope to poor for university and military is willing to pay for me to get my degree

And ALL OTHER SPEC OPS.
Topkek!
Not a chance.

They say you will, but no one will give a fuck. Just don't tell a general or anything lol

In order do go anywhere in the AF you also have to attend school as well.

Most of this is good advice. Straight up: take the job YOU want and wait for it until it becomes available. The job of the recruiter is to get newfags to join by making all jobs.

I wanted a medical job when I originally Enlisted back in '99, recruiter said, "oh man you wanna wear scrubs and not a uniform? That's kinda lame don'cha think?". I said I would really like to do a medical job and he said it would be a 12-18 month wait because everyone wants a medical job.

Fast forward 4 months and Recruiter calls me saying that they can get me out sooner if I'm ready to go. I say hell ya, lets do this I still get my Medical job right? Recruiter says, "Oh yah for sure they will see your certs and it will be an easy decision for them to make.

I'm out the door in 2 weeks not realizing I got swindled into an open general contract that doesn't guarantee you shit other than the mild "possibility" of getting a medical job in whatever Big Blue decided for me.

mfw I realized that I got boned by the AF for the first of many fuckings I have taken from the Air Force in my long 18 year career

yeah, dont

This pepe makes me sad.

Not OP, but I have a mechanical engineering degree and cannot find a fucking job for shit. Is there anything I can do in the military (preferably in the Air Force) that will help me find an actual engineering job when I get out? And please for fuck's sake, don't tell me to do whatever bullshit """"""""""civil engineering""""""""" because that will totally help. Those two are not the same thing.

This

Serious advice op. Get everything in writing. Make sure its on your contract and dont sign anything it isnt. Using the "a recruiter told me i would..." Excuse means exactly jack shit

OP, no matter what you end up doing, take these bits of advice seriously.

2 poor 4 college.

kek


I joined the Navy. Looking back, I don't see what the big fuss is. It's just another job except the benefits are amazing. I should have done it earlier.

Pick a fun job that suits your personality and work style - inside/outside, manual/mental labor. Take some risks. Come out on the other side with badass experiences and people thanking you for eating their tax dollars.