Fucking stepkids. I've been with my current fiance' for about a year and a half...

Fucking stepkids. I've been with my current fiance' for about a year and a half, and I'm having some really mixed feelings about her child from a previous relationship.

I'm a 28 year old man, have a professional career, and don't have children of my own.

I love my fiance' more than I've ever loved another human being and probably more than I'll ever love another human, but there's this lingering feeling I have that I'm having difficulty shaking. I know it's probably selfish and terrible, but I don't want to be the father of her 4 year old daughter. It's not that I don't want to be a father, our wedding is coming soon and we have plans for immediate pregnancy after the wedding. The child's father is a loser that's going to be in prison for at least the next 2 years or so, so it's not like I even have to deal with that garbage. I find myself not wanting to go the extra mile for this child, like trips or child centric outings just make me completely miserable. The way the child grew up, the mother made her completely reliant on constant attention, and she can't function on her own. I've had conversations with my fiance', like a whole lot of conversations, but it seems like the consensus is that it's going to get better once she and I have a child of our own. Honestly, if it ended up turning out that we couldn't have more children together, I don't think I could even stay and raise her daughter as my own.

Does anyone have similar experiences? Do I leave? Do I wait to see how life is with our own child (whom I love even before he/she is conceived)? To preface this before I get people calling me garbage myself, I'm never mean to the child, I do correct her behavior, and the mother does try to stop some of the overly-needy behaviors. It just never leaves my mind, it always sits in the back of my head that I'll never love this kid.

In b4 don't ask for advice on Sup Forums. I kind of want fucked up responses.

That's messed up.

I must have gotten lucky. I loved my stepdaughter more than anything even after having my 3 other children.

She graduated and is now an irresponsible, misguided teenager.

Still lover her more than anything.

You should really discuss your feelings with your fiance.

I do, she says it's okay, that I'll "adjust" once my own is born and I get that feeling

First and foremost, you fell for it. Classical cuckold, raising another man's kid. She'll get the best of what you have to give by pussy-proxy. She's the parasite in your otherwise perfect symbiotic relationship.

Now that's out of the way, here's the fun part:

You'll never be #1: that's her daughter.
The das WILL be back in the picture.
Your fiancé is playing you. She just needs marriage to be set for life, for herself and the daughter.
She'll likely leave you once you assume the fatherly role. She'll get welfare until 18 (21 if in college).

Finally...

There is no such thing as a "happy ending" with a used up whore. Damaged goods are just that: damaged.

You'll feel like hanging your self once daughter and mother team up against you. Or when your future children are abused by their half-sister.

Enjoy.

she's done nothing deserving of a shitty life
she's just a kid, her mind can/will change
just do your best with her, she knows you're not her dad but she can learn to love you the same or even more
yeah, she and her mom are probably her whole world, but she WILL change when she gets older and gets friends. what kind of girl she turns into may be dependent on you and your wife
godspeed, user

My current fiancé is in the same boat as that kid, give or take twenty years.

She’s pretty damaged from it, and it kind of broke the family
If you have a kid with this chick, try to treat both equally or you might fracture the family once their older. My girls step father hated her and pretty much only cared about his own daughter, now it’s pretty bad

Hopefully this helps

Run bro. Trust. Shes probably awesome but that kid is in your life and #1 priority untill university or 18. You'll always be resentful.

>4 year old daughter
Father of 3 stepkids here. Two were great, one was a complete pain in the ass. I'd do it again, but barely.
For 2 of the 3, I never felt the connection that I did with my biological kids. It just seemed like we couldn't talk and I couldn't understand what they were thinking.
1 of the 3 was like she was my own. She looked like my biological kids and even the things she did that pissed me off I understood (like my own kids).
Think carefully on this one dude

This grew up with single mother who married a nigger, I get beaten regularly, I get socks from the salvation army for christmas while siblings got gameboys, mother doesn't care as long as he's fucking her and paying rent.

>I don't want to be the father of her 4 year old daughter
Why not be her lover? I hear being poly is in now.

I don't think I'd go as far as socks from the salvation army, maybe a nice shirt with no ink stains. But really, I wouldn't pay for the kids wedding or college. The thought of that makes me kinda angry.

they were fucking golf socks too, I was like 8 years old at the time, they were practically stockings.

Having your own actually might help, hormones and what not. Not sure how it works with guys.

You should definitely start going bareback.

>I get socks from the salvation army for christmas
That sucks user
It's too bad you have a shitty mother.
I hope this gives you the drive to really make it.

>be 4
>only me and my mom
>that's all i know
>dude starts banging my mom
>she's happy so whatever
>over a couple of years dude takes my mom away from me

wat do

Put yourself in the kid's position sometime. No pedo.

Well, the problem seems to be that you dated and then proposed to a girl who already had children. It's like being cucked. Perhaps the reason why your attracted to milf's is because your own mother wasn't loving when you were a kid, or perhaps your mother was a little too loving if you catch my drift. Perhaps your just using her to fill a void where your mother was. My advice is to grow out of it, shed your attachments to her and find peace. Move on to other people perhaps someone who doesn't have a daughter? Yes?

...

Take solice in the knowledge he probably beat her too.

Already made it by Sup Forums's standards.
Got a good job, got a white wife who has an ever better job, got my own place and disposable income, best part is I haven't seen any of my biological family in 7 years.

Having a kid with this woman will only make the situation more Complicated

Ditto

My mother married a terrible stepfather when I was 13. He had a daughter of his own, 4 at the time.

She was a cunt. As OP stated, absolutely reliant on attention. Unable to function as a normal human being, she never had a shred of empathy. It likely didn't help that her mother was bipolar, and that her father was a meth addict on and off for 20 years.

I hated it.

I'd say you be your own man, if you love the woman stay... But that kid will be a fucking nightmare if my situation is even somewhat analogous.

Good luck.

You have a 4 yo girl that's not yours. I think you know what to do. I know what I'd be doing with her ;)

28 and a professional career......unless you’re hideously ugly or monstrously fat, you are a catch and you don’t have to settle for used goods. Get out while you still can.

Also, as a parent your #1 priority is your child. That essentially means that you are #2, and while your children together will be #1, her prior daughter will always be an attention whore.

Could you explain how "needy" is she? Perhaps she just wants to interact with you user

I'm 25 and I'm seeing a women who's going through a divorce who has a 3 year old girl. My situation is a bit different obviously. I don't love this woman, I already went through almost getting married 2 years ago, and I need to get a decent career and make something of myself before I consider settling. It does suck though. I was very honest with her about not wanting anything serious, she was a bit hurt, but we still enjoy eachothers company. It's not that she has a kid, but if I thought about staying with her and that kid just being there, I don't know.
Before that I was talking to this beautiful woman my age who had 2 kids. I was talking to her for months via text and she got pissed I would never meet up. I'm not trying to be daddy to 2 kids who's real dad fucking bounced. I want my own kids before I consider taking on someone elses.

so tell your fiance then coward, and or man the fuck up and get out of her life instead of being a piece of shit, hell idk the father but when he is released atleast he is gonna try his best to take care of her

>being a cuck

Tits or gtfo

You don't know that for shit faggot. Someone who ends up in jail and leaves behind a woman with his child is more often than not a pretty shitty human being all together and probably not the best parent.

This is because you should kill that bastard and replace it with your own seed, according to gods laws (even if youre atheist).

Face it, right now youre fucking yourself and evolution, investing time money and effort into raising defective genes that couldnt keep themselves out of prison to support his family.

Now, the ho bag is expecting you to pay for her bad mistakes. I couldnt do it. I would fuck them and leave them if they already had kids, im not raising somoene elses spawn. Luckily ive been with mine for a long time and dont have to worry about this problem.

fucking dumbass's not a chick iam a dude, and 2ndly ya sure, most men ive met after lock up tend to get family driven due to the toher dudes doing life and the way youre in their just lonley

Bathroom, screams for hours when she can't sleep in the bedroom, still wants to be fed, shoves hands on plates, screams all day, I can't even hold my wife's hand half the time at outings, because the daughter literally wants to be held 24/7. The kid is in school, I thought this shit would end once she hit the schoolhouse.

Family driven doesn't equate to being a good father. Sounds like you have some personal animosity for "reasons".

>really mixed feelings about her child from a previous relationship

So it's time for you to bail on your relationship. Either that or take the cowardly path of being the evil step father.

I’m not even trolling when I type this just leave bro you’ll be better off in the long run. There are penalty of women without kids in the world hell marrying a single cubby chick is better than a hot chick with a kid. This usually what happens you marry her kid hates you you’re wife acts like she’s in love Fucks you’re brains out she gets knocked up. Leaves 2 years after the kid is born gets child support and maybe government assistance. Dates out jail ex waits until he gets in trouble once more cause he will date and marry someone else and repete I know a few girls like that. Cut your loss.

>she can't function on her own.
Shes 4.....sir....shes fucking 4!
Yes. You should leave and apply for goverment assistance. You m8ght possibly be legaly retarded.

these are right, youre being cucked like a bitch
and
is me

and the father will never be a problem, the plan is to transfer halfway across the country when we get married, while she has custody from a protective order and he can't contest it. He'll be in crushing debt from his fines/crimes and would have to travel/live where we are in order to take us to court. I mean, the possibility exists that he'll get some kind of supervised visitation, but the probability of it being a problem is low. That's on her end btw, I'd love to have weekends alone with my woman.

then fucking tell her you almost nothing to do with her child, just that simple
nope just against dipshits like you who pretend to know shit and give a fuck

That doesn't sound good user, and I guess her mother won't tell her where the limits are. She's on her way to be a brat little kid. You are the man, set your limits whether if she likes it or no. You are still on time user. I'm not telling you to beat the shit out of the kiddo, but a spank or two won't kill her.

She will never love you as much as she loves her kid. Unless she's crazy. Just remember that.

>bitch has a deadbeat baby daddy in jail
>clearly doesn't know how to raise a kid
>is gold-digging your retarded ass
Run, you fool.

It's normal to get tired of kids. People who say otherwise are usually self righteous parents who think if they shove how much they love their kids and what good parents they are into everyone's face, they won't have to confront maybe it isn't perfect.

When I was 4, I could tie my own shoes, write my own name, play with my own toys, feed myself, brush my own teeth, fuck.

What a shitshow of a 4 year old. You'd better put your foot down and stop that shit if you plan to stay.

How i love these faggots always assuming the worst, like a fucking female. True beta cucks for life.

Agree. He has to set some limits.

if you really want to be with her you gotta take the kid to therapy
Sup Forums doesn't have answers for that shit, user

This.

Be sure you're not nice guy she came to fall back on. In her younger years she made bad choices and let loser guys fuck her, over you. You were never the first choice, but now you're financially stable with no kids: jackpot. Now that she realizes those guys only used her temporarily she needs a nice guy anchor. All the hoes my my high school pulled this. Became single moms with loser baby daddies, shitty life, later remarrying guys they would never fuck back in the day. You'll put up with it cause she offers you her pussy with mileage on it as the main factor of the relationship.

Don't raise a single moms shitty kid... too much work and effort for you to get cucked into. Have kids of your own with a girl that didnt let losers fuck her before. I know i sound cynical but trust me these girls aint loyal

Take her to therapy before she becomes a screeching retard.

No hormones change on guys are you fucking retarded?

Shit user.... you're right...I couldn't have said it better myself

You hear this OP? Leave her.
>Now.

A wise recommendation and well written.

I gotta side with everyone else and say move on. Especially since you have only been together for a year and a half. Romantic love's a 3 year thing before it starts to fade. Evolution wired us to be sluts turns out. I'd give it more time before deciding anything

Also don't let her trick you into thinking it'll be different if you guys have a kid. She's thinking "hey if this guy gets me pregnant i'm set for life." She'll say what she has to she knows with the kid her market value isn't great and if she wants any security in life she'll say what she has to. Not to say she doesn't love you but there can be more than 1 angle to this.

Also if the dynamic with the kid doesn't work now it won't work later. This is only speaking from my experience but every time where my relationship dynamic has had a theme like "well wait it'll be different later" it's been exactly the same.

Sucks that you're in this position user but remember you're in the sexual prime of your life (guys peak at 30) so don't be too rushed even if you have a bunch of friends getting married

>Not shitting in the socks and slapping the nigger with it

Not to mention the kid is mental.

Suck it up or be a bitch and leave idk.

You are dating a single mom.

Also known as damaged goods.

You literally cucked yourself willingly from day one.

Dude... First 1 kid will cost you AT LEAST $1 MIL BY THE TIME THEY'RE NOT DEPENDANT ON YOU FINANCIALLY! Beyond this, you're planning to become an actual father right away?

What's your end game? That the other dad will get out of jail and pay back support? That you'll love having to sacarfice the release of that next kick ass game because you need to spend time with the kids while your new wife takes a break for a day?

Think about this shit... By the time the not your baby is in 2nd grade you'll be having basically hostage negotiations on the nightly for brushing their teeth and shit like that.. Not only this but you want to do this again 4 years after?

What are your dreams? Want to travel? Go get drunk at a football tail gate for the weekend? Kiss those plans the fuck goodbye if you don't gtfo of this shit man.

Does that $1,000,000 include opportunity cost? Because if it doesn't, that number is way too high.

Children are due to their upbringing. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. You already see how she has been raising this child, do you want her to raise your child the same way? Remember. Love is one of those things that can come and go and fade or stay. Having a child and end up a few years later being miserable is not good for you or the child. Children are like herpes. Once you have one they never really go away and you will always be tied to the mother no matter what. Something you need to seriously think about. You could be a positive influence on the daughter but you also need to decide if her mother will let you help raise her. If not you need to do some soul searching.

fuckin Man-up.........I would baseball bat You so hard.......fuckin loser.

XD, since when? Most dudes out of prison retain the status of when they first go in: being fucking losers.

the financial aspect isn't a problem. I could have 8 kids and be okay. But the general consensus is to run. I kinda wanted to hear from people that've been through the situation. I get my way right now with the mother, but it's a fight when I want to take her out/getting a babysitter that'll take care of the screaming co-dependent kid. The mom isn't a deadbeat though, she makes just as much as I do. I think i'll just throw it on the table that I want nothing to do with the kid, and I don't want it to interfere with the relationship. That seems like an "out" statement.

He really should not have to man up. It is not his child. The one that should man up is the child's father you nigger.

>I think i'll just throw it on the table that I want nothing to do with the kid

you've got your answer, it's not worth the relationship
it's unfair to the kid if she gets a shitty step father in any way; be it you or some other asshole that might hurt her emotionally or physically

cut your losses

If you brought up how much you hate the kid and she still wants to get married I'd be suspicious

Hey OP, im in your exact situation. I'm 28, raising my chicks 5 year old. Honestly I can't say the thought that I'm raising another man's child who accidently got my chick pregnant hasn't disgusted me. And dad is still very much in the picture. Even though I'm the one taking care of the boy. Luckily he's a boy so I can teach him to be a man and connect with him. And now a year into the relationship the child is my little guy. He loves me since I brought discipline and taught him independence. He lives for my approval. Whenever his real dad comes around I just alpha his ass it's actually quite funny how he won't even make eye contact with me. But he respects the fact that I treat his son well and with love. At first it bothered me a little. But I changed my outlook because it's not the boys fault he's a bastard. And he tells everyone he has two dads and that makes him lucky. No homo, but makes me proud. So stick it out, luckily she's young enough that as she gets older she will view you as a father if you fill the role.

>it's not the boys fault he's a bastard

This should be the bottom line.

No clue if this will help but I was with a woman years ago that had kids. I grew to love them as much as her. She ended up leaving me and I was a wreck for a long time. Her kids never forgot me because I was there when no other man was. They grew up to be ok but all had rough years because the mother couldn't find anyone to step in.

It's a package deal, man. You don't get to take the good without the bad. She isn't going to give up her kid. The only responsible thing to do is give that child all the love you can. You being in her life is a thing now. You can help shape her life into something good or you can be a selfish asshole and ruin it more.

You owe it to everyone involved to step up or get out. If you won't be a dad let someone else. That kid didn't ask to be in the situation and doesn't deserve your neglect just because you are hung up on bullshit.

He gets it. Grown man shit.

Sauce this sorcery?

>I haven't seen any of my biological family in 7 years.
Woot
The secret of your happiness. Keep it up.

no idea on the semen demon, found her on gif... thought it would get OP's attention

Don't waste that kid you can fuck it once its 9 yrs old

I stopped reading at "stepkids". Why would you even talk to a woman who has kids? You are fucking stupid.

Because people make mistakes. And you should never pass up a good woman just because she has a kid dude. It's a burden only a real man could handle. You aren't doing it for the father, you are doing it for the child. To give someone a chance at a stable happy family. So they grow up to be a productive member of society with opportunities.

A real man would drop kick that kid into Satan's cock hungry throbbing asshole.