>Be me
>American
>Scrap up whatever strength I have left after beating off to Mia Khalifa to attempt to lift my perfectly healthy 300 pound body out of my crust covered chair to eat for the fifth time today
>Break a sweat after taking a few steps towards the kitchen
>Stop for a healthy 2-liter of Mountain Dew and a couple of bags of Doritos
>Clap for myself
>Make it to kitchen after a few more hours
>Nap on the kitchen floor as I deserve for working out that much
>Wake up with a pool of sweat glistening around my healthy body
>Use my industrial fork-lift to get off of the ground
>Legs are operated with a hydraulic system no engineer in history could fathom how it can sustain such pressure in order to move them
>Journey to my car about 30 yards away
>Stop for another bottle or seven of Mountain Dew
>Tell the construction crew to set me in the driver's seat of my specially modified H1 Hummer
>Everyone clapped except for Gary, who was crushed last week under my healthy body when one of the straps broke
>Fucking Gary
>Take a small nap after getting fatigued while putting the key in the ignition
>Wake up
>Still time to head over to McDonalds
>Drive through is packed with perfectly healthy people like me wanting to treat themselves
>Get to the window
>Order 20 McDoubles and a few orders of nuggets
>Get winded half-way through
>Nap for a while
>Wake up
>Fucking cop standing at my window asking me why I was passed out
>Tell him to fuck off because I was a healthy human being and its normal after such exertion of energy to rest
>Tell him that he's fat-shaming me
>He shakes his head and walks away
>Finish my order with a 32 oz. McFlurry and a diet coke
>Get another fork-lift to bring my arm up to the cashier to hand her my platinum McD's credit card with 250% APR
>Finally get my order
>Go home
>Getting out of the car
>Sweat dripping out of beautiful fat folds like niagra falls
>My genes cause me to have a massive heart attack
>mfw
Be me
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tl;dr
Weeeeakkk
>be subhuman foreigner
>listen to American music
>watch American television
>watch American movies
>jerk off to American porn
>have to use to the American internet (TCP/IP) to access American image boards to beg for attention people who actually matter (Americans)
...
Bait gets worse everyday
>Be me
>American
>Age 28
>Work out every day
>Have good job
>Have zero debt
>Own home
>Fiancee
>Run marathons
>Tons of time for passions
>ohfuck.png
>everybody is an individual
>give me back the nights
>when we should have lain together
>building a great temple of our love
>GIVE ME BACK THE NIGHTS
>THE NIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTS
/legendarythread/
wew lad this sounds like some repressed envy
>claps
>claps to this
>claps to these
Found the lardass
>mfw I defintely am in better shape than you
Found the subhuman who does everything I described and was triggered enough to respond.
accurate
Buttflustered assblasted Amerilard shouting at facts. kek
Your tears nourish me.
Lol a murican calling someone a sub-human? You should know your place, trash. Oh and what's that about net? I'm sitting here with 1gb/s network connection. You prob have like 25 mb/s connection like most of your shithole of a country. Go eat some burgers to feel better, sub-human.
>got another one
You outlander simpletons are too easy.
Why are yuropoors so obsessed with America?
Nice try, fat fuck.
Jealousy. Rage caused by impotence.
Story so bad that you should kys in the back of the head two times.
Well someone is a cuck with no life and it's not the make believe character in this story.
The butt hurt is palpable eurocuck
So true my man. This disappointment to his slag mom probably sits in his room all day looking for pictures of the worst Americans he can find and then spends hours typing out fake bullshit to piss on people he will never see in a country he will never have to deal with. Sitting on his American invented computer hooked up to the American invented internet talking shit on his favorite board, an American board. I guess with the shitty education combined with all the Muslims they let in over there he just sits at home never leaving the house, on his way to being a fat fuck like the one he described in his poor excuse for a story. Sub 85 IQ detected.
>b-b-b-b-b-but the WWW and HTTP were invented by a brit and i think that's all the internet is because i'm an ignorant victim of nanny state education!
You just hate us cause you anus
uhhhhhhooooooohaaaaayeaaaaaahhaaaa. That was a thick creamy load deep in OP's mom. Go ahead guys pass her around. Just ignore her corncob teeth. Just lower your standard just this once, it's ok as long as you don't tell anyone afterwards.
...
...
Which are you from? A country we own or one we subsidize?
>Be me
>stepping right up
>from side to side
>notices an american
>tells him to come on
>because its time to do the mario
>mfw
Holy shit this dude has no life. Even more pathetic than the fat fucks in the pictures he is posting. That's what happens when you mom dies from sucking too much dick and leaves her son to become a hermit.
So salty boi, I enjoy the 15 minutes creating it, in my spare time after work.
So much assumptions, but that is all you Americans do is assume things, but always wrongly, then you get butthurt when it backfires on you.
Enjoy your "premium" foods of machine reclaimed meat from sinew, bone, marrow. And not wonder why it is so cheap.
"Buh buh buh it is so tasty user"
Yeah I am sure it would with all the chemicals and additives along with 40 bags of MSG they put in it.
And then you go pay for a massive healthcare bill because of it, not realizing your government prepared you for this, and they are taking all your money from you.
Being American.
"Slim Americans"
You enjoy being a cuck? Maybe you should learn to spell correctly before you go talking shit to people who have access to any food they want and better education than you have. Being a pretentious English prick. Fuck I think I need to sling another one up your dead moms cunt.
>spell correctly
>better education
>any food
So cute when Americans actually think they have all these 3 things.
Keep being salty Cleetus, with your imaginary excuses to thinking you are better than others.
>be OP
>make an over the top dumbass post
>le drop a thicc dab
Fucking Americans.
I'm not the one posting shit about an entire country of people based on ignoramus internet cancer information. BTW, I don't think I have all of those things I do have them. So cute when I punch your mom in the back of the head while I'm fucking her in the ass. Stay fat and ignorant pole smoke.
>what about the net?
>my connection to the net is better than yours
Congrats on connecting to this American domain. Don't you have some other place to be? I like how you just skipped over all that stuff about how you're here talking to Americans even though we supposedly don't know OUR place.
>be French master race
>thin and healthy cause good food and free healthcare
>hungry after a day of blasé idleness and auteur movies at the Quartier Latin
>go to Subway cause why not
>two teenage girls in line in front of me
>one is normal
>one is abnormally obese
>so fucking fat and fat in such a way I think "this thing got to be American"
>I wait for it
>wait for it
>almost...
>blob opens her mouth:
>that unmistakable cowboy accent
>mfw
Nice dubs Ameri-friend
So which one of you American men in here is responsible for this kids existence. Where protection when banging slags. It makes things better for all of us.
>Where protection
>Superior European education
Kek, superior European anything.
you tried. But you got madfag. Time to give up little buddy
I will give it to the Germans. They have done some greats things over the years. Otherwise, nada.
/thread
>Missing the point
>be a eurofag
>bow and suck Muslim cock all day
>while they team rape my wife and kids
>scream Islamophobia on Facebook when >anyone says how fucked we are
>whelp get back to studying the koran
> we are the new middle east
Superior European education at work here guys.
Missing the point.
>"Being a pretentious English prick"
>"I'm not the one posting shit about an entire country of people based on ignoramus internet cancer information."
Tell me more Mr Hypocrite, tell me more.
Your 13 year old rage is showing with the continued mom attacks, which do not phase me one bit.
>points out a small typo by poster
>no excuses for American Spelling
>thru and tho
Be happy with your sesame street English, also not the user you replied to before you stroke your 1 incher thinking I was.
I just figure I might as well attack your mother while I am at it because it's her fault that failure like you exists. If you were not hiding behind a computer screen you would get your ass beat so it comes down to nothing but verbal attacks by your choice. You have accused me of eating bad food and being fat which I am not. I have trashed your mother and obliterated you in your own thread fag boy. Stay mad little bitch and for fucks sake, brush those nasty teeth.
>spots one colloquial word for boy
>"hurr durr poor educations guyz"
>plays a game of notice my post with fellow Americans hoping for backup while samefagging frantically
So much salt for such a young kid
>be foeigner
>listen almost only 80's UK music
>watch only foreigner television
>watch only foreigner movies
>jerk off only to foreigner porn
>have to use to the American internet (TCP/IP) to access American image boards to beg for attention people who actually matter (Americans), America that is mostly using outdated NAZI tech
...
>continues assumptions
>not once did I say to him he is fat, just that he eats shit food
>gets triggered by fat, sees fat everywhere when it doesn't exist
Ergo, user is fat and is triggered like a snowflake.
Pathetic. You have nothing which is the worst thing for a troll. Bye bye .
You posted multiple pictures of fat people claiming that Americans are fat did you not.
Remember when Canada (technically party of Britain at the time) burned the Whitehouse down in the battle of Washington? Bet they don't teach that in your shitty schools.
>Be Pole
>Work out my ass to barely survive, which leaves me in suprisingly good health, as I move a lot in my job
>No girl currently, but going on dates and taking time, I left my ex like a month ago
>Rarely getting sick because of superior slav genetics
>Even if feeling sick, just gulp vodka and eat garlic, and kurwa you're fine
>we have healthcare too, and it doesnt work, but no one cares, there's garlic and vodka
>Also watching the west burn with its stupid leftist propaganda, decadence and muslim acceptance
>Go on the street and everybody is white, niggers and mudslimes a very rare occurence
> Smile under my nose when amerifats get dramatically butthurt cause someone talks dirty about their nation
>My nation was burnt to the ground and raped a hundred times, but it never broke the spirit
>mfw when I see an article on western portal about american military exercises in Poland cancelled because polish folk wouldnt stop going to the woods for mushroom harvesting. Even when announcements warned them about tanks
These memes, must be 12 years old. Sad.
>cute fatboi thinks TCP/IP protocols matter only for the internet, ignores HTML, HTTP/FTP protocols also which are not American.
>Ignorant to the world outside America
>Watches Fox News
>Fucks his sister, cousin or pet bull on a regular basis because he snowflake cries about nobody loving him
>still 13 years of age
...
I said Slim American in the pic, but if that is fat to you, then sure.
>American Logic
>"Seen a pic, it must be true for everyone"
Show me more tears kiddo, your salt is showing
New level of stupidity right there. Golden education.
>mfw am american
>only thing that offended me was 250% APR
>WHY
it's 1Gbps faggot not 1GB/S, 1GB (GigaByte) is 8 times more than 1Gb (Gigabit)
I suspect OP is underage
kek, you are a pathetic troll who is the one acting salty. That happens when you get mad out to be an ass in your own topic but I figure it must happen to you a lot.
sure kid, enjoy fucking your sister tonight
Why would I do that when I have your mom sucking on my nuts? Stay salty little boy.
GREENTEXT: THE THREAD
>accuses me of being mad
>spent multiple posts himself talking about raping my mother and raging
sure kid, sure.
To be fair although he has been acting like a dick, he didn't say GB/S he said gb/s.
But he is still a dick though.
That would be me dumb shit and I wasn't raging. I was simply destroying you at your own game. And look you are posting childish memes at an accelerated rate. Guess I got under your skin.
>still with the mom attacks
>unable to provide any other attacks due to limited intelligence
>unable to type quickly or in large text blocks due to knuckle dragging
inb4 next mom attack because window licking
BTW, I would never rape a slag, don't have to.
As a Canadian, it's funny to talk to Americans IRL and see how foreign of a concept free healthcare is to them. Anytime I've ever been in the US and something about me Canadian comes up, most of the time the first they ask is "is your healthcare really free? Wow, must be nice".
What a backwards ass country. So advanced in some aspects, so behind in so many others.
Found the fedora-tipper
>got angry in first place at one meme
>got fat triggered
>trying to pretend he is not the salty one
>the world he knew it crumbling down around his mom's basement
>doesn't know his dad as he is fucking some other non-fat slut because his mother put on 500lbs of lard
>prepare for anus explosion of grief and hate
>will never succeed at life
>will call him fat for first time now
>hilarity ensues
You seriously have no life dude. KYS. I'm willing to bet I am in better health than you are and I am typing this on a $7000 computer that is hooked up to a $25,000 home theater. I have already succeeded in life.
...
Grammatical errors aren't typos.
Wow someone made a grammatical error on Sup Forums. You serious?
Lmao this frenchie thinks he's the master race. Come up with that during your last retreat Frenchie?
...
7000 $ computer? Yeah. I'm typing this with my dick on a 4000 $ calculator, eating a 2000 $ snickers bar.
Obese people are disgusting.
Like I said, I am well educated and successful. I am not fat either.
Just drive your fatguy scooter off a cliff. Get clean underwear and wipe the cheeto dust off your fingers though. No need to beat the gross corpse world record.
all speed tests use Mbps/Gbps and ISPs provide speeds with Mbps/Gbps. Easy to assume that OP looks at numbers and thinks oh it must be actual 1gb!!! I get so many faggots coming to my store to check their devices cause they're not getting the speeds the pay for when infact retards just think I'm paying for 100Mbps and I'm only getting 15MB/s!!!!!
>Stop for another bottle or seven of Mountain Dew
That got me
That's 700$, not 7000$, i've built more computers than you can count through ny profession.,,,