Here's my story /b

Here's my story /b

>be me
>use to be a social butterfly and could make friends easily
>had the normie life
>was spoiled by my grandfather
>my grandfather stepped into my fathers footsteps
>practically raised me
>gave me everything I wanted
>took me to school every day and made sure I had 3 meals a day
>16th birthday rolled around
>he buys me my very first vehicle
>old s10 pickup
>thing looked like it and from a junkyard
>I loved it though, wouldn't have traded it for the world
>told him how proud I was of it l, and that I would take care of it

Keep in mind, the bond that we had was unbreakable. I spent every day with him, so we were tight.

>fast forward a couple of months
>I wake up to my grandfather holding his side
>"call an ambulance"
>this was very alarming to me because he'd never ask that unless something was very very wrong
>stubborn old man
>so I call the ambulance
>they arrive in about 10-15 minutes
>ambulance carries him to the ER
>I'm following the ambulance in my awesome truck he bought me
>get to the ER
>after an hour the doc says that his gallbladder had ruptured or something like that
>ohfuck.jpg
>required surgery immediately
>so they sedate him, take him back to the OR
>surgery goes fine and he's now in recovery
>I'm by his side at all times because I was his right hand man
>he finally wakes up
>he's loopy as shit from the sedatives
>or so I thought
>after a day of this, he's not regaining his right mind
>getting worried now
>ask doc what the fuck is going on
>"we're not sure"
>what the fuvk do you mean? You're a doctor???
>turns out, he had a stroke AND a heart attack in the week he was there
>rage.exe
>says there isn't much they could do
>as luck would have it, he pulls through
>but even after, he wasn't quite all there.
>he also had to take minor physical therapy for reasons I can't remember

Cont? I'm on mobile so bare with me

ok, go on

rip

Continue my man and from the little information you've given me, your grandfather was/is a great man...

we'll wait

Indeed we will...

>bare

tl;dr: grandpa dies and OP is heartbroken. It sucks but thats how life works. If you loved him let him live forever in fond memory. And now that he's gone you can ditch that crappy Chevy and buy a real truck.

It looks like someone has buried this man's lemons...

Cont.

>so, after therapy and everything he's back home
>feels like a 100 pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders
>all is well for about a week
>them we notice his toes are turning black
>progressively gets worse with time
>back to the hospital
>tells us that his legs have developed bad circulation
>more surgery
> they put a stent in his leg to try to help with circulation
>doesn't do shit
>he starts getting sick
>can't figure out why
>they think it might be the gallbladder
>it isn't
>he had poison coming from an unknown source
>from that point on his health declined
>eventually was put on life support
>he loved ice water and would ask for it, but we couldn't give it to him due to the tube in his mouth
>absolutely devastating to watch
>he looked like a different person because of all the fluids the were giving him via IV
>I couldn't even look at him without crying
>after staying by his side for days, I went home to get some rest
>was going back the next day
>next day I was told that he passed that night
>didn't even get to say goodbye
> I went into self destruct mode
>quit school, stayed in my room and didn't talk to anyone for the better part of a year
>all my friends are no longer friends
>just people I use to know
>used vidya games to take my mind off how shitty life was

This was 6 years ago, I still haven't recovered from it. Still no friends, but I have a shit job and zero social skills. I essentially became a shell of the person I was back then. I find no enjoyment from anything anymore, just a mere replacement for my sorrow. I'm afraid to get close to anyone now, fearing they might die and I would have to go through it again, wat do

He really was, one of a kind

I try to keep happy thoughts.

Think about your life. Would this be what your grandfather want for you? Would be be happy to hear or see what you've become? I think we both know the awnser...so my advice would be to try and make your grandfather proud by living your life as best as you can. When you are doing something, think about the good times with him and it might help bring joy to your life. I'm sorry for your loss man, but you can't just throw away everything because someone who was dear to you dies...

Yea, and they buried half of my lemons with them.

I think the real devastating and sad thing here is that how your grandfather would be sad and feeling guilty because you are this way because of his death.

user, be proud. You had a great grandfather. You should honor him, not disappoint him like this. Get your shit together.

look at it this way death is inevitable and one day you'll die too
your old man did everything to raise you and so you could lead a happy life
in return you were there for him when his time came.
move on find friends strive to become a better person its what he wouldve wanted form you
find a woman build a family of your own and have them experience tha happiness that you felt when being with your old man.
there are so many things to do and so much fun to be had go out there and get to it.

I've been trying really hard to better myself in all fields applicable. It just fucked me up in a lot of ways and it's taking more time than I expected. I'll get there though..

Good point.. I'm really trying to get back in line

I'll be rooting for you then, I never knew my family, so whenever I hear or read about people losing their family it stings...alot..and I'd hate to hear about another person throwing themselfs away because of grief..and if I have any typo's, sorry, it's pretty hard to type on a phone with one hand while downing my third beer with the other..

That's what I'm working hard to accomplish. It's taking more time than I'd like, but I'll get there

Sorry to hear.. hope all is well with you user. I'd probably be drinking right now as well if I had something

i wish you best of luck and a happy life friend

Thank you, and same to you user

There are so many fucked people with retarded fucking backwards mentalities in this world it fucking amazes me. You're the fucking icing on the cake, OP.

Do you think you're cherishing his life by sitting there wallowing in your grief of losing him six fucking years ago? Do you think you're doing him a service?

From the sound of it I'd bet that motherfucker loved every second of living; every second of living with you. He fucking gave you everything, all of his mind was imparted onto you. On his deathbed I could bet he was thinking that he'd give anything to fucking get it back and live forever with his family. Every fucking moment counted to him.

And here you are tapdancing on his grave, on his memory. Six fucking years. I fucking hope you can have the sense to want them back as bad as he would have.

You don't need to tell the world about him to honor his memory, but continue his legacy. Make good on the shit he taught you and spread it to whoever will listen. Make the same fucking impact on your own kids one day. That's how you honor his memory. He would've wanted you to be happy, and he's still there with you. Everything you learned from him, all the stuff you loved. It's all still there in your head. Don't let it die with you.

You're right.. I'm really making an effort here though. I'll do my best because that's what he'd want for me.