We all pretend that Sup Forums works at an office

We all pretend that Sup Forums works at an office.


Someone fix the fucking printer!

The IT guy got fired yesterday so you're on your own with the printer. Try sticking your dick in it. That's what the IT guy always did.

*lights a cigarette*

good idea, user. I'll give it a try.

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in printer

>walks in with baseball bat

ill fix that fucking printer

>breakshit.mp3

>browsing Sup Forums

Fuck off cunt do it yourself

Who shat in a trash can? Is it Jerry again? I swear I will stangle that Sup Forums browsing psycho if its him

*sips coffee*

I will fix the printer after I fixed your wife

Hey guys the trap degenerates just walked in the office again, someone call security for fuck sake

can you please stop fucking sipping your coffee so loud god fucking dammit josh.

I came on my tie again, they'll all think i spilt mayo off my footlong.

Yeah great
So
Did you get the memo about the TPS reports?
Yeah great
Well I'll go ahead and make sure you get another copy of the memo
Great

Why is there a loli pinned on my board of important things to do ?

you know why. siht, got cum on my tie... again!

josh, mr. scheebly would like to see you in his office.

Every fucking time... *goes out for a cigarette*

There's doughnuts in the conference room guys.

I'm going out to the dumpster to smoke a joint
Anyone wanna come with me?

Everyone pretend to work, Mr. J. W. Shekelsbergstein is going to inspect the office in a bit

Not anymore

> Oh it's Fat Andy again

*canned laughter*

Don't call her that, she sometimes makes valuable contributions. Occasionally

*fire alarm goes off*

WHO THE FUCK MESSED WITH THE FILES FOR THE ANDERSON ACCOUNT????

Who's up for pizza?

YOU'RE FIRED BOB..... YOU'RE FUCKIN FIREDD

Hey guys what's this red laser pointing at my forehead for, I hope it's not a snip...

Can't Toby fix it?
Oh nvm Toby can't do ANYTHING. Even his wife left her. Also he has a secret crush on Pam.

>Answers phone

Hello, Anons Anonymous, how my I direct your call?

Ok I'll see...

Hey everyone, is user in today?

Ok I've had enough of this radio station. I'm sick of hearing Michael Buble all day.

Kek

>sits at desk staring at screen
uuuh... guys... who put goatse on my screen? and killed that 800h spreadsheet? fuck, i hate this job...

O hey nice meme side KEK
But i prefer 9gag kek lol

How do i work computer? Can i have some water?

hey i just started do we get paid weekly or bi weekly, and who is the guy behind me staring at me?

NO! No water for you, you're on sand and vinegar rations. You fucking know why Glenn don't give me that.

THERE IS A PLANE CRASHING INTO THE BUILDING

I know better than eating anything with a hole in it here.

Has anyone seen my stapler? It's red.

Neither it's Sup Forums weekly.

Oh him? That's Clive. He likes ears. Nibbles them occasionally. Don't stop him whatever you do.

*canned laughter*

There are so may holes in here.

*canned laughter*

Who the hell put my stapler in this jello!? Is my career a game to you!?

Thank god the Birksteins called in sick today

Well, I'm all done with this TPS reports, time for a little break
>Snortscokeinbrakeroom.gif

It's not jello lmao
Guess again

Guys, does anyone know where my chocolate milk has gone? It's not on my shelf in the refrigerator

WHO ORDERED THE DWARF IN THE GIRAFFE COSTUME??????

How else are we going to shoot the interracial prono Steven!

Fuck! You can keep the stapler. I'll buy a new one

I bet the cleaner threw it out. Same thing happened to my sushi on Tuesday. Check the trash. Fucking Guatemalans.

I WARNED ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS FUCK YOU

Why is user sticking his dick in the printer? It's not broken, it's just out of paper.

Im gonna go fall asleep in the john

Look guys, Profits are up and I'm on a mission, To the Bahamas. I need you all to work on Saturday, that would be great...

Same thing we did last month - boot polish and goats milk! Do I have to think of everything around here Darren?

I did. That's for the 2:00 meeting.

Who ate the food I left in the break room? I will find you and I will fucking kill you.

New IT guy here.
First we need to troubleshoot.
>is printer server running?
Check
>is printer online?
Pinged it, seems fine.
>problem with printer itself?
No seems fine.
>check OPs connection
OPs Ethernet cable got unplugged when he installed his usb powered desktop fan

All solved OP.
You weren't even on the network

Pushes the printer near the banister and lifts it on edge, barely teetering but being held in place. "THIS ONES FOR MY DOG CHOMP" Pushes it over and oh fucko, it looks like it may be broken now.

Looks like it may be broke now champ.

Thanks IT fag!

Good call, it's here. Fucking Guatemalans.

What the fu....

Karen. KAREN. KKKAAARRREEENNNNN!

Stop putting your pregnancy tests and used coathangers in the kitchen bin.

What do you mean it's bigger then the bathroom one? I don't care, I've got piss and blood all over my chocolate milk carton

Hey guys my kid is fundraising. His school are doing a trip to the capital and will meet our congressman. Could you sponsor him please? just buy a chocolate bar or maybe donate a few dollars? He really wants to go, he's got a real interest in politics since the election. He loves Bernie which males me so proud.

You know the wax in the polish agitate Miranda from accounting's skin. She said she wouldn't do anothet shoot without substitutes. I'm sure we can both agree we don't want her to to avoid the Halloween orgy because of hives right?
Let me make it up to you, we still on for bowling Sunday ?

>jerks off in the bathroom

...

[You're picking up a hostage]

>gun jams

Who keeps changing the temperature on the air conditioner? Its set at 72 for a reason!

George did it. I saw him

I was really looking forward to that chocolate milk, user. But I am looking forward to prolapsing Miranda's anus whilst she's painted like pumpkin too....

Tough call

74 is for winners Aaron

Has anyone seen moot?

Hey guys. Keep the noise down. I'm on an important call here

Ah ha!
>pulls you into the office
You see we have had quite the janitorial bill due to all the fun stain recently. So I installed a CCTV system in the bathrooms to catch the perpetrator.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go.

What will I get for my money? What's in it for me?

...

The AIDS hotline is not for work time Tom. We've been over this at your last appraisal

I came here for this.

£££-£&££6£-£&#?%?%-£-£-"("+#-3;3!£+£-#;# holy 6#&373&##-#++£+ fuck ##7#6#+##@(£+£-£- how 99&&+5(%(&+%%(#££ did @7#6#@7#+£-# you ¢{^=¢=$${¥$=$°$ get &+%+&&+%--%+ my [[℅$$°$°$$° actual J&#+££-&£#+ IRL &-%-££+£+£ name??????? #&#-#£-£-#&(

*jerks off in toilets* for about 1hr

Well neither is the suicide hotline. For fucks sakevSysan, if you gonna do it just get it over with already!

anyone seen my cumrag?

Is that your mom again, Herbert?

> paper scrunch balls flying overhead
> lots of sniggering

Tomorrow is penis inspection day.

If you know you are about to fall short and your name is Richard, you may as well pack your shit up now and go home.

Who clogged every toilet with paper towels?

Just keep throwing out bullets and eventually you get a hit. What's more impressive is I've actually selected your new favourite temperature. You're welcome, and toasty.

Now did you say you wanted help with the third quarter report?

...

I LIKE THE WAY THEY SPEAK OKAYYY

Thank god my name is richie

It's not paper towel

Sorry

Yeah please can you look at it? Needs a fresh set if eyes. The trouble I'm having is the numbers don't add up. I think the Toledo office has screwed up and haven't submitted everything. Same thing happened last quarter.

Also had to remind you I've gotta take the 22nd off. Its Yom Kippur

MY FUCKIGN CUM RAG

Hey uh... I need another bathroom break... pls

God damn the Toledo office, God damn it to hell. I don't know what the fuck Terry is trying to pull down there. Makes us look like a bunch of monkeys trying to fuck a football up here. Well that's the last time I cover up a dead Patagonian hooker for Turbo Terry let me tell you. He can try and persuade me with all the wings he want.

hmm

wings

hey do you fancy some wings? I know a cracking wing joint about 10mins from here. I'm getting wings you want wings? WINGS WWWIIIIINNGGGGSSSSS

GUYS I'M GETTING WINGS

Hey guys, I've been receiveing complaints that we don't engage the youth enough. So, id like you to meet our new youth interaction representative.

Leroy leave your nipples alone and continue vacuuming the chairs please.

Fucking disability quotas man