You wake up at the mouth of a cave. your head is heavy and your eyes are blurred from the late night at the tavern. You have no recollection of anything that happened after sundown last night. Stand up, you brush the dirt from your peasant garb. Looking in the distance, you see smoke rising from cook fires, which leads you to conclude that you must not be more than a couple miles from civilization. Behind you, the entrance to the cave looms pitch black. Checking your pockets, you realize that the only things you have with you are five gold pieces and a small key. You have no idea what lock the key belongs to.
What do you do?
Jeremiah Anderson
Touch yourself inappropriately with the gold pieces.
John Carter
I fell into a wood chipper
Carter Fisher
lol
Jordan Wilson
WTF
Lincoln Rivera
nice trips
Leave the cave and start heading toward the fires
Christopher Adams
God damnit.
Landon Jenkins
Niggas...I got dub trips....respect
Christopher Bailey
And turned into goo. Suddenly I woke up
Aaron Howard
He's dead, user. Let him rest.
Hudson Hughes
Suddenly, a strange mechanical device appears on the moutainside next to you. As you walk toward it to inspect the contraption, you trip on a rock and the last thing you see is whirling blades rushing toward your face.
You jerk awake at the mouth of a cave. Your head is heavy and your eyes are blurred from the late night at the tavern. You have no recollection of anything that happened after sundown last night. Stand up, you brush the dirt from your peasant garb. Looking in the distance, you see smoke rising from cook fires, which leads you to conclude that you must not be more than a couple miles from civilization. Behind you, the entrance to the cave looms pitch black. Checking your pockets, you realize that the only things you have with you are five gold pieces and a small key. You have no idea what lock the key belongs to.
Adrian Brown
I am not dead!
Sebastian Carter
Shit...off by 1
Cameron Nguyen
Fuck sake, user.
Thomas Morales
Ha! Dubs bitches!
Ian Clark
walk towards the fires, punch the first person you see.
Benjamin Bennett
Call me butter...I'm on a roll! >bless me get gods!
Matthew Phillips
Find nearest person and ask to get laid
Wyatt Kelly
Balls.
Nathan Garcia
Balls!!!!
Jason Jones
My awesomeness ends here. Godspeed anons.
Nathaniel Gonzalez
Take off clothes and walk to civilization
Julian Hall
So close, yet so far away.
Mason Watson
rolling for
Jack Martinez
DAMMIT!!!
Jackson Torres
This but I also stick gold up asshole
Noah Lewis
Reroll
Landon Powell
Insert the key in your butthole while touching yourself
Matthew Jenkins
Still waiting on those dubs boys.
Jack Kelly
Lodge key up asshole, find nearest person and get them to remove it
Adrian Carter
Could you not?
Andrew Gutierrez
You mutter to yourself "Still waiting on those dubs boys."
Having no idea what a "dub" is, and not knowing who you could possibly be speaking to has you thinking that perhaps you may have hit your head while drunk last night. Oh well.
You still stand indecisively at the mouth of the cave.
Charles Howard
Clothes off, gold in ass, then to the city
Christopher Morgan
Fuck off by one
Colton Sanchez
>rolling
Adam Cook
Swallow the gold then strip naked. Proceed to civilization
Jayden Davis
Strip, then make your way to civilization, cock in hand.
Logan Jones
I knew we could do it
Andrew Nelson
winrar
Adrian Sullivan
run naked in the forest
Jeremiah Hall
let the females know that the only way to become a princess is to SUCK THIS DICK
Dominic Brown
A strange compulsion starts to come over you. For some reason, an overwhelming desire to strip naked starts to flood your entire being. Ripping your clothes from your body, and grabbing your flaccid penis, you start to walk in the direction you saw the smoke rising from. You descend from the rocky cliffs, leaving your clothing, gold, and key in a pile on the hillside, and start to cross a large field, which is bordered by woodland. As you approach the woods, you notice that there is a overgrown, almost unnoticeable path leading through the forest.
What do you do?
Colton Smith
Actually not a bad idea kek
Xavier Flores
return for the key
Brayden Rivera
Dick-first into the path we go.
Mason Parker
Rolling, get the key back
Jackson Diaz
I grab a stubby-type rock from nearby, and head into the cave.
Luke Davis
Eat bark off of trees and fuck the tree
Nathaniel Morales
Stabby
Kayden Hughes
You stop to pick up a pointed rock. Having no place to put it, you decide to keep it in your left hand, as your right is still in a vice grip around your limp phallus. However, now the forest appears to be a less inviting option. You turn around and head back toward the cave. Entering the tunnel, you realize that the blackness is almost overwhelming. You see some scraps of animal skin and bone near the entrance. It becomes clear that you won't be able to navigate this cave very successfully unless you find some kind of light source.
Cock and Rock in hand, what do you do?
Justin Gonzalez
Yell out for all the world to hear "MY NAME IS KLAUS MIKAELSON AND MY COCK IS MIGHTY"
Henry Rivera
Realize i have to take a shit but am still afraid of the toilet witch so i decide poo in the loo is out of the question, take a hefty shit in my hand then eat it
Nolan Sullivan
reroll
Brody Cox
You mean in the hand holding your cock or the rock?
Jayden Long
Find materials to make a fire at the forest entrance
Oliver Smith
let go of cock long enough to shit and eat it then grab cock again
Matthew Smith
Satan has spoken
James Hughes
>filename >LOGo
Jordan Gomez
Game Over
Austin Young
Eat the shit!
Jace Carter
Another mad compulsion wracks your naked frame. As you feel the rage of a fecal demon-spawn start to roil around in your lower bowels, you know that you must conserve whatever nutrients you have, as you may not find any food out here for a while. Squatting, you unclench your sphincter, and release the chocolate shotgun into your hand. As it mainly consists of ale from the night before, and little food, it is difficult to catch. However, you make the best of a bad situation and lick you hand clean before it can drip off.
Moderately sated, you pick up your sharp rock, and with you hand still firmly gripping your limp tumescence, you wonder...
What will you do?
Lucas Johnson
Run into little red riding hood in the woods and molest her
Nicholas Johnson
shove the rock in my ass
Brandon Gonzalez
fuck a badger
Wyatt Torres
drink the blood of a vampire and become immortal
Brody Johnson
From out of the cave, a man with pale white skin emerges. His eyes burn with a cold hatred of anything living, and you know at once that he must be a vampire, as there was a clan of them giving your village quite a bit of trouble not long ago. Not a problem for you however. He hisses as the sun touches his skin and he starts to return to the cave, but he notices you standing there, in your naked glory, gripping your small, lifeless cock, and pointy rock. He starts to come toward you, but recoils as a wave of putrescence from the shit stained ground (and your breath) overwhelm him. Tightening your grip on your rock, you begin to stab him repeatedly. Toward the end, you realize that you have almost decapitated the beast, and decide to drink some of the blood you spilled. There had been rumors that this would make the drinker immortal. As soon as the ice cold blood touches your lips, you feel the cold, unmoving feeling of immortality rush through your veins. Your breath now reeks of shit and blood. You stand, blood dripping from your face, and look at the world with a new eye. You're going to be here a while, you'd better decide..
...What will you do?
Alexander Rogers
fuck his corpse then find a child to molest
Jayden Carter
molest all the children in the village
Nicholas Sanchez
Clean myself, let cock go, take clothes from vampire, pick up gold and stuff and walk to civilization