40 year old virgin here..how do I get sex? I've tried everything

40 year old virgin here..how do I get sex? I've tried everything

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Then you havent tried paying for it

Have you tried rape?

Good looking. My advice, shut up.

Damn. Beat me to it.

Op, shits not hard. Seriously. Just go to a fucking prostitute. You'll kick yourself for not doing it 20 years ago.

That said, sex is over rated. You haven't been missing much. When you get up close with them you realise they really do stink.

Go online for ass. You can get laid almost accidentally if you go online.

Girls say I'm weird looking

There's a docu-drama starring Steve Carell where he has the same problem as you but is ultimately successful. I suggest you watch it and follow his methods closely.

Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

Don't matter. So much traffic online someone will want you.

This.

Put penis in vegetables.
Wmen haev vegetables.

it's not an item, you can't just get it. essentially you have to talk to a another person and convince them to have coitus with you. pointless unless you are trying to make babies.

if thats you, you're not bad looking, you must be awkward as fuck. im only 22 but still a virgin, i don't look bad and ive had the chance but too nervous. can't help you b/c im in the similar boat. maybe lower your standards? have you never even had a shot at it?

she's really into that shit.

Have you tried chloroform?

I thoughthink I had a chance once..but turns out she just wanted a friend to talk to

well she could've been talked up, flirt some be yourself. thats more of a relationship though. if you want sex, lower you standards, dress and act different. the way famous 40 y/o's dress (you're style clearly doesn't work) then go to a bar and just talk to girls. take a shot for yourself for nerves and one for her to show your interest. they'll know what you mean, either they'll show interest or tell you to fuck off. quick and simple. rinse and repeat till it works.
>bitches love free alcohol

If it's at a bar

> Walk up to woman and introduce yourself

>Ask if she has boyfriend. If no, on to the next one. If yes, ask what she's drinking.

> Ask basic questions. Job, hobbies etc. It shows you're interested in her, you listen and it will set you up for conversation that transitions to pointless shit.

>At some point, she will decide, "This male may have the privilege of slaying my poontang". She will make this obvious by signaling she would like to leave. This could be verbal or physical so pay attention.

> " Femanon, shall we go back to my place? I have alcohol there."

> Slay poontang

If in a public environment

> Introduce yourself. Exchange names.

> Make small talk

> "Sorry, Femanon. I've just realised the time and I have an important meeting to get to. How about I get your number and we can finish this over a coffee.

> Text 4 days later. You've been up to the gills in such... Such important work at the job that you do that's just so important because you had to leave her for a meeting and now you're texting her and just ask when she's available and then repeat bar process for coffee.

It's literally just confidence. My best friend isn't the best looking dude but man can my nigga pull some serious fuckin 9s.

Make eye contact, not TOO much. Smile. Wear anti perspirant and deoderant (your nervous ass gonna fuckin need it). Most of all, don't be a weird cunt because then you'd be like me.

Good, honest advice.

>miss the bar 3 times, cause drugs
>get in, ram door open, scream PUSSY
>point finger at random person, let it wander to it's target (hopefully a real gril)
>ask her if she want's to fuck while fingering her and drinking her drink
>if yes use chloroform (on her), if no use chloroform (on her)
>fap to unconsicous body
>cum on everybody's face but her
>make for the exit fast
>run along the street, scare some children
>get arrested
>successful day
>see you next time

Take heed, OP. This guy knows his shit.

You should try being born good looking OP. That worked for me.

did you tried rape?

move over, Ann Landers. there's a new advice columnist in town

Girls say I'm OK looking but I creep them out

If pic is you, you’re a good looking guy.

The Tao of Steve is a great movie to check out on the subject.

Sounds retarded but the less you want it, the more likely you are to get it (in the context of hanging out with a chick).

Women don’t want to sleep with dudes who just wanna fuck. If they feel comfortable and confident in the fact that you’re just trying to have a good time and make an honest attempt at friendship, it will be attractive. The fact that you wouldn’t just motorboat them taters right out of the gate makes you seem like you aren’t trying to get something out of them.

Your “stock” rises when you’re fun, confident, and in control of your desire for sex.

Use tinder

then you try too hard. i gave up trying when i started drinking and then i had alot of girls after me. well not ALOT but more than i've ever had. they seem to like being the aggressor. i guess since they're used to being chased and i was too drunk to care.

I would say I´m beta but even I have fucked 4 women and have relationships since 10 years. You will make it

good point

>public environment.

I'm always curious as to how people pull this off. Every encounter I've had with with girls has either been because I know them already, or at a bar. I'm confident and half decent looking but never know how to approach a girl in an everyday situation without feeling like a potential rapist. Pity, cos I often see one or two that I wouldn't mind asking out.

> If it's at a bar
> Walk up to woman and introduce yourself
that's called rape
> If in a public environment
> Introduce yourself. Exchange names
also rape

Kek this guy isnt a virgin he fucked OPs girlfriend or OP just stole the pic from another thread

>look at woman
Stare rape

Stop being creepy and let it happen.
Get drunk with a girl if you have too, and she might smash. But if it's really taken that much effort you've probably been creepy, cause basically anyone can get laid, so stop that creepo

Some people, no matter what they look like, have personalities that weed them out of the mating pool. This is a social version of evolution. Personalities incompatible with modern society do not procreate or do so very infrequently

If only. Weirdos procreate all the the time.

Much less frequently than normalfags

you definitely never heard about the concept of friends with benefits, guy

just ask her out, worst you can get is a "No" just don't touch her and she can't call rape in public. cameras and witnesses and such.

modern society is changing much faster than humans are capable of evolving... nice theory but i think you might need some more data

Balconybro, is that you? Get your ass back to /fit/.

Based purely on observation, I see lots of weird men, with equally weird women, dragging around broods of weird children.

Just this youtu.be/CSKbWI1pUHQ

You know the guy, the woman, 40+ nearing the end of their potential child rearing with no children. How often are they normalattractivefags? We're not talking weird, we're talking personalities incompatible with society. Some of these individuals still blast out a litter of children but they are not procreating in the same manner as average folk

You can make up a lot as a guy with personality, i'd say women look for 70/80% personality and 30/20% looks in general. Its all about what you say, and more importantly how you say it.
Frame is important too, if you talk to a hot girl with the frame of 'i hope she lets me talk to her' then you will not get anywhere with her.

I'd agree with this. You can't really teach somebody how to have an appealing personality though. You've either got one or you haven't.

true dat

Looks definetly matter much less when a woman selects her mate but it isn't just personality. It unironically involves money, maybe not money directly when we discuss this subconscious type of attraction but the fact he appears capable of providing for a family. It's not a meme and us poorfags can hate it but it makes sense.

They dont want to shack up with some brokeass and fart out a few babies no matter if hes funny

>I've tried everything
then you are not gonna get it. isn't your question quite self serving?

Depends though, i've been travelling around Europe, Central America and Southeast Asia several times and the girls there don't give a shit about stuff like jobs and money.

/this exactly
When i'm looking for a hookup, i immediately make my intentions clear. She'll either be interested, or not. (If not, sometimes she'll give you the hookup of one of her friends who is also on the prowl)
If not move on. If she re-approaches you specifically after a 'not' reaction rinse and repeat.

What state do you live in, OP?

One of constant sexual frustration, I would imagine.

Well, that goes without saying.

Wink at them and blow kisses a lot. Wolf whistle. Maybe grab your crotch like Michael Jackson.

*grindr