Alright so some shit just went down and I'm arguing with my family and this lawyer.
So here's what happened: >be me, 6'4", tall well built, 22 >I'm chilling out at the grocery store >buying food after work for the week >some clumsy chick dropped something on the floor >as she bends over to pick it up I check her out like any normal male >thick and short, easily 8+/10 >as she picks it up the clutz drops something else >I see an opportunity so I walk up to her and ask if she needs some help as I smile and pick it up. >she smiles and says thank you >her face is a smooth 7/10 >I chat with her a little bit >turns out she goes to school in the area and lives in the area >tell her we should hang out some time and we exchange numbers --a day later-- >hit her up after work >We meet up at a local park in her neighborhood >We laugh and joke around a bit >some of the kids in the area say seem to know her >think it's odd but think she's just good with kids or a local babysitter >"hey user, my parents aren't home. They went out for my mom's birthday. So maybe we could watch a movie or something." >I tell her "Netflix?" with a grin on my face >She smiles and giggles a little then says yeah --fast forward a little bit-- >we're watching twilight (I'm trying my hardest not to leave at this point.) >She notices I'm a little bored >"user, there's something in my room I want to show you." >finally shitty movie is about to pay off >"c'mon it'll be fun" >her room has dolls in it and it's oddly 'childish' >I'm talking diary, wallpapers of twilight characters, ECT. >Spidey senses tingling >I ask her isnt she too old for all this stuff as I laugh to bait her real age >She laughs as well looking embarrassed >"Im 18 you little jerk." >she points to her drivers license card on her dresser >shrug, Ive seen stranger >tease her about it a little more >we play around on her bed and end up fucking >shortly after we finish she makes me leave before her parents arrive
---next week--- >get a call from random number >"boy you are fucked!, this is femanon's dad and I am going to fucking kill you" >play dumb >"don't fuck with me boy I saw all of your messages, she told me what you did!! You think it's okay to fuck kids? I'm gonna fuck you up!" >claims I raped his daughter and that she's underage >know he's bullshitting since I saw her license >hang up in his face >call girl and find out what the fuck is going on >"I-im sorry user" >turns out her parents were suspicious and took her phone so she squeaked >not only that but her license was a fake she got from her uncle >turns out she's 8 >at this point it dawned on me how bad I fucked up >her dad filed a case against me >family finds out >dad knows a lawyer >They tell me their disgusted in me and that my only option is to plead guilty for a shorter sentance. >try to tell them it was setup >"No excuse!"
Fuck me, how the hell was I supposed to know she was lying? Dont get me wrong sge was short, but im tall as shit. Everyone is short to me, and she was tall for her age. Not to mention the fact that she had an ID, like how am I supposed to know it was a fake. Shit looked real, why would she even have a fake one?
My penis has gotten me in some deep shit, isn't there some kind of law to protect me?
Gavin Wright
Happens all the time. Don't fret
Hunter Bell
LOOOOL. Holy shit. I was all like "damn. This dudes gonna get rekt for diddlin a 17 year old. Then it it cuts to >turns out she's 8 >Everyone is short to me
Ruined me
Zachary Cruz
c'mon you fuck you couldn't tell she was 8? You deserve to go to jail just for being this autistic.
Gavin Phillips
>turns out she's 8 I was with you up to this point.
Chase Scott
Officer Hopps is on duty
Landon Hill
Lawyer here
First off great bait I did lol, but assuming the story is real Statutory Rape is a strict liability crime, so you can get convicted even if you didn't intend/knowingly/recklessly/negligently fuck an 8 year old.
GG OP
Nathaniel Ramirez
Hey guys, sup. Guy from comment above you. Just wanted to ask if you can keep your reactions down. Im high as shit giggling at 3am.
Jayden Wright
Even motherfucking Stevie Wonder could seperate an 8 year old from an 18 year old you motherfucking dumbass bitch OP
No, you deserve to go to jail for being this autistic
Alexander Lewis
Not even eight-year-olds watch Twilight.
Logan Nguyen
This is true but you could still catch a break from a jury if she recants and says you never fucked her or if the jury buys your story and feels sorry for you. Big risk with an 8 year old, though.
Nathan Wood
i've read some shitty made up stories, but confusing an 8 year old for an 18 year old...
FFS you've hit a new low Sup Forums
Camden Cooper
Seek medical attention
Jonathan Barnes
I cringed at netflix?
Nicholas Murphy
I'm sure fake, but the fake ID would have been due diligence and got you off in that situation. Unless she looked super underage.
John Clark
Not too quick are ya buddy.
Brayden Barnes
>be me >8 years old >get fake license from my uncle >people think i'm 18 >drive the car and stuff >realise i need money to put petrol in the car so i can keep driving >apply for jobs >get full time work >junior management at an accounting firm >everyone likes the twilight stickers on my briefcase >uncle still makes me suck his dick for the fake license >opening a 401k on monday
Grayson Jones
8? If true how the fuck do you not notice!?
Ayden Lewis
... dude... come on dude...
Andrew White
...
Jason Adams
You seriously telling me that your penis has never taken control of your thought processing?
Liam Scott
Have fun in your new home away from home OP, we'll miss you Just saying if it all goes to shit, I like your route better than pic related
Josiah Phillips
The whole greentext is bait/satire on how people over 6' can confuse a person under 6' with a child and vice versa. Are you that thick?
Luis Lopez
i know that feeling still it is hard to believe then i remember the cash me ouside girl has the body of a 20 year old but is 14. i dont know if i should believe you
Ryan Bennett
Hear, hear!
Jonathan Russell
this thread is better than most ylyl threads and that's making me sad....
Caleb Rogers
Then she opens her mouth and sounds like a 7 year old kid from detroit
Gabriel Moore
My penis isnt 7 Tabs of acid i can tell what a child looks like when even when im horny wtf
Matthew Green
Jesus user. You are in some deep sheiße right here. I'm not a lawfag, so i don't know how this'll go, but if you want to make it out alive, use the fake ID to your advantage. If you can get the fake ID in play, you can use that to back your argument. In addition to getting yourself off the hook, it could also lead to the arrest of her uncle, who is likely a professional forger, which is a much better catch than a pedophile like yourself (you sick fuck), and will give the judge a win.
The jury will probably take your side if you use the ID excuse, but the height one has flaws, such as '18 year olds are never that short, and even a giant like you could notice that.'
Best of luck user.
Michael Foster
>ITT Rocks
Jeremiah Howard
>aw fuck hes not going to jail since she had a fake id and he can just argue he didnt know.
>she was 8
.........
There's no fucking way this isnt a troll.
Andrew Diaz
...
Austin Martinez
Well done.
Samuel Gutierrez
Lmfao the last line killed me
Nathaniel Rivera
she at least has pubes and boobs
Andrew Brown
Great work detective. Any other revelations?
Ryan Thomas
my sides have been destroyed.
Lincoln Jenkins
Again shes not 8 shes 14 thats a 6 year difference which for kids is a lot
Charles Lee
Rrrrrrrrrepost OP is an attention whore faggot Sage
Kevin Brown
do 8 year old girls have phones?
Robert Morris
"Due diligence" not a defense under US law.
Cameron Moore
...
Bentley Ramirez
So he's supposed to be an expert in fake IDs? He questioned it, asked for ID, was shown, it looked real and it sad she was legal.
A state attorney wouldn't even file the charges. No jury or judge would convict under those circumstances, unless she looked ridiculously young.
Gabriel Taylor
QLD or nsw
Michael Cox
>unless she looked ridiculously young. Like 8? Fuckin mooly
Andrew Garcia
I’m her uncle you fucking faggot
Robert Allen
>turns out she's 8 >her dad filed a case against me Nice try user. If she was 8 and even in the unlikely event the parents went to a lawyer before cops, the lawyer would have told them to tell the cops and they'd be the ones at your door, kicking it in and beating your ass on the way to jail, no matter if you did it or not.
>Not a lawfag Nope. But you're pretty fucking stupid to think that this shit is real.
Ian Rogers
refer to
Ethan Bell
I was super happy when I heard this dumb little cunt got her ass beat, now someone needs to do her fucktard parents
Cooper Walker
yoy beat dat pussy up?
Benjamin Gutierrez
Same.
Mason Watson
>turns out she's 8 >Dont get me wrong sge was short, but im tall as shit
Thomas Price
I feel ya Sup Forumsro
Juan Bell
When she said she was going to Lincoln elementary school, that didn't seem odd? I mean, where did she say she was going to school, and for what? How did she get to the park and back? And obviously she's from the "area" if she's shopping there. You could of ommitted that, but added it like the opportunity was too good to pass up, I mean, who would have guessed a girl shopping in a store would live in the area. I mean my gosh, what a shocker.
Austin Miller
Google strict liability, dipshit.
Statutory rape doesn't have a requisite mens rea beyond "intentional". Unless Casper the ghost possessed OP's dick and penetrated her against OP's will, there is literally no salient point here for a prosecutor/jury/judge beyond 'did he fuck her'.
So yes, the law DOES require you to be an expert on fake IDs when it comes to sex with a minor. Fucking roodypoo.