Time for a thread for all of us Sup Forumsad Sup Forumsois! Share your experiences of commiting crimes...

Time for a thread for all of us Sup Forumsad Sup Forumsois! Share your experiences of commiting crimes, advice to other bad bois, and just discus being bad bois!

Other urls found in this thread:

m.soundcloud.com/user-205633393/buried-and-gone
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Fucking kill yourself.

Instructions unclear

Wasted fucking trips on this bullshit

I once asked a girl out and she rejected me. Afterwards I said that it was fine because she was ugly. I'm such a Sup Forumsadass.

i once stole a piece of lego in kindergarten. still remember it today

Stealing random shit at Wal-Mart Sup Forumsecause why not

...

Single eye slit is only for hackers who have a college degree.

I used a single when I broke into my neighbors house, they're old but I stole $200 and I also took god from their fridge home with me.

I fucked your mom is that a crime????

m.soundcloud.com/user-205633393/buried-and-gone

Food*

Stop spamming this song in these threads

Bump

The best way to steal something is to make a distraction.
The same goes for rape

I like to eat while i steal shit

Same! The old people next door whose house I broke into had a whole container of brownies, I ate one and they were the shit so I stole the entire container.

BUMP for interest in how to rob my neighbors

Elite hacker

Elite ethnical hacker

Stealing their fridge god is much more entertaining

I make and sell dmt.

I have my stuff shipped from Brazil to different abandoned foreclosed homes.

I exclusively sell it in different music festivals and nowhere else. People go crazy for it there. I sell it 75 a g there and make a lot of money. The town I live in is too small to sell to my friends. So no one knows what I do except a couple trustworthy hippie friends. Been extracting dmt for 5 years now.

I once stole a balloon, On free balloon day nonetheless.

What an excellent post to start a cringe thread with. Kudos.

>he took OP seriously

lmao

Fucking hell trun yourself you scum

Bump

I've been posting on Sup Forums for the past 4 years despite turning 18 last week

I've been posting on Sup Forums since I graduated high school

Raped three girls in high school.

Hey there Sup Forumstards, wish me a happy 7th birthday!

Happy birthday.
It was actually my 4th birthday a few months ago.

goog agogog aodagdja ahdgo gbadsg asjghskjhlf aduor hprou osuihgsiouhHAIUHIAUH

Sorry guys, my son's not old enough to type yet but I wanted to let him post here to fuck the rules anyway

Story in new thread with a link here? It would make for some interesting fap material.

Bump

I don't commit crimes, but if I did it would be sexual assault. I'd put cum in women's food and rub it on their car door handles and film them putting their hands in it and eating it.

I can't wait for one of you dumb fuckers to enter my home uninvited

The key to being a Sup Forumsad Sup Forumsoi is to give a big fat middle to authority. Teachers, parents, police officers. Get real.

Ima break in while your at work and steal that sweet shotgun too

i stayed home from school once and said i was sick but i wasn't.

>come home
>my house is completely fucking trashed
>looks like some nigger was trying to steal my shit
>found my tv in the kitchen
>next to the tv were some crumbs and a noticeable lack of the brownies i baked last night

Get fucked you bag o bones

>works from home

I hope you requested a closed casket user

Gimme my brownies you darkie

Never! They my brown brown now cracka

This is why I voted for Trump, can't even protect my fucking sweets

If you provide a container of brown browns once a week I am your personal nig

anyone else ready for these?

Ima steal some just you wait

Can you steal shit from other people for me?

Yea my nig

Deal

Who is I joggen tonight massa?

I robbed a shit ton of unlocked cars back in the day. I'm not really the "criminal type." I'm white, have a good job, part of the community, and I have no record. But every now and then I'd get kinda drunk and be like "fuck it, I'll roll the dice" finding cash was soooo nice. Probably got close to a grand in cash over time. Got a bunch of credit cards and drivers licenses and even social security cards, but I don't crime enough to know how to steal an identity. And I won't do something unless I'm like 99.9% sure I'll get away with it.

Where would you find the cars

Steinberg down the street, I heard the kike bought surround sound, I want it

Ima fuck his wife and steal some other shot for me too but I got u massa

Lol! What? I dunno, driveways. I drove to those fancy, poorly lit neighborhoods that are just outside of most towns. Where there hasn't been a crime in years and people feel safe.

Enjoy the tip, I put crack in the brownies

Mah nigga

Where did you park? I have a friend who went to prison because he tried that, he dressed like he was jogging and put stuff in a backpack that he used to "carry his water bottles" and somebody called the cops because of an unfamiliar vehicle parked on the street. Long story short the officer waited for him to return to his car and when he came walking up with a jingling and plump backpack they searched it and arrested him.

When they serve tasting in stores I sometimes return to collect more than one sample

Why can't I hold all these.. oh, wait. I can. I used a tray.

I've been stealing since I was 12 god it's nice to have things

Steal from stores not from people you cucks

Stores have security officer, cameras, and customers who will call you out of the think your stealing, not to mention the scanners at the door that will sometimes just randomly go off on your ass. Where as people may have cameras and like a dog or two, but their cars are left unlocked and they go on vacation and leave their house full of free shit. Don't knock us for choosing to rob people. And although there's a risk of getting shot if you just scout your target you will be fine.

Don't you pull a Trayvon Martin me son

>never leaves the house
not surprising for someone posting on Sup Forums tbh

> be me
> Drove 37 in a 35 once.
> Pretty much a getaway driver for a Fast & Furious style heist crew.

> be me
> crossed against the walk signal a couple times.
> Pretty much don't give a shit what the man wants me to do.

> be me
> removed the tag from my mattress.
> Pretty much piss all over your rule books, Mister Man.

> be me
> got back the wrong change, error was in my favor - kept the extra.
> Pretty much a holdup.

I'm pretty much the baddest motherfucker on b, or anywhere else.

People wasted their money on that shit idk man I'd just feel worse about stealing used items from people vs brand new stuff from a store that won't miss it

This thread reminds me of the teenage girls that post pictures of stolen shit on Tumblr