I was molested and raped numerous times as a kid...

I was molested and raped numerous times as a kid. Suffered immensely and ended up with really deviant sexual kinks and PTSD. To anyone else who went through something l like this, what are some non-self destructive coping strategies that you've found work?

What kind of kinks? I think it's important to surround yourself with good people more than anything.

take the pain that you've endured, and understand that others have gone through it. people suck, but everyone here is on the same ride. so having this knowledge that others could've gone through what you have, or even worse, try to assume positive intent. try to be a good person. just try to be understanding.

it's all chaos, be kind.

Inviting me through a window while I wear a ski mask.

stfu quinn

Drugs and Alcohol are quite destructive ways of temporarily dealing with these deviances. If you can deal with not becoming dependent on some drugs like weed they could actually help you with anxiety problems.

I believe that mindful meditation and exercise can help you a lot. You would be surprised at how much meditation can help you regain control of your emotions and thoughts. Exercise will help you with stress, anxiety, or excess of energy.

After you gain some sort of control of your mind, heart, and body you should start looking into a relationship. You shouldn't look for a person that has the same problems than you. It might seem like being with someone that has gone through the same shit as you will make it easier, but that won't help you at all. On the other hand, being with someone that can have a positive impact on your lifestyle will lead you to become a better person.

wow, this post is edgy enough to belong on >>Sup Forums

well, don't fuck your cousin at 11.
shit fucks you up for many, many years.

Go on twitter and make a hashtag metoo post. I am sure that will fix everything kek

best advice in this thread.too bad no one will take it.


but hey,you tried,have a (You) friend.

Have you considered looking into a rape survivors support group in your area. Women's shelters and Planned Parenthood may be a place to start.
.
Many states are actually making it harder for victims to seek help by having requirements that any sort of counselor, clergy, or teacher who hears a claim of child sexual assault, report it to the police. If your case has already been reported though it may not matter.
Reporting the rape yourself may also have a therapeutic effect. Even if years have passed, you are still feeling the pain why not let your rapist feel a little too?

Hey OP. Hope you are holding up alright.

I'm stuck in a world of ocd. Record every single aspect of my life.
> count total number of steps I make
> airplanes I see and what airline they are
> TV or movies I watch
> every single street I walk down/set foot on
> weather conditions on the hour every hour I'm awake
> weigh self every 2 hours
> every cent I earn, every cent I spend
Record them all. Have notebooks and spreadsheets going back years with this shit, for instance can tell you I spend an average of 35c a day on bread. Or that I took 8,756 steps yesterday. That at 2pm on 3/25/07 it was 72 degrees mostly cloudy with breaks of sunshine. That so far this year I've seen 488 American Airlines planes, 370 United, 6 Air France etc. I don't know what purpose its for but its what I've done since I was 7.

I'm trapped in this.

Another thing I can't do is touch a bed. Haven't slept in a bed at all in about 13 years and probably won't ever again. Can only sleep on a couch with the TV on.
Sexually I don't touch anyone and won't let anyone touch me. I've had more than enough sexual partners for one life and don't need anymore.

Is this you OP?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdbJsNOlSK0

There is a distinct lack of humour in this thread.

...

Don't worry. Your post made me smile

Can you explain what you mean by this?

ocd is all about physically breaking the fear, do you fear people will die if you dont do these things? If so you need to choose one thing you're willing to sacrifice. To see what happens when you break a compulsion.

I have some really dark sexual deviancies, but I have no memory of being abused/raped. I have always feared im repressing something, but ive never really been sure how real repression is. You usually still have triggers/fragments.

>do you fear people will die if you dont do these things
Yeah but 'only' a little. A counselor I had thought I did it as a way to escape, keep busy or try get some control over my life.
One thing that has helped for me us stop doing any therapy. It never helped me. Just made things worse. I knew everyone us different and it will be good for some. But definitely not me.

you must have something that perpetuates it though, without a driving fear you should be able to stop yourself. Take the planes thing, notice as many planes as you can and consciously dont record them. If this panics you then good, keep going eventually something will click and that panic will dissipate,, if you keep eating away at the compulsions eventually they will grow less important. I had a girlfriend with counting ocd (going up steps, light switches) and we were able to cut down her counting to basically nothing, it went from a fear i'd die if she didnt do it, to she would do it if she was stressed to calm herself. Actually became quite a positive force for her towards the end. Then she got bulimia and I was out.

Ptsd is what soldiers get. Not you.

I never talk about this stuff. I'm a guy, and between the ages of 4 and 12 my dad raped me between 35 and 45 times. The memories are kind of fractured and I have some serious memory loss from that period, but I pieced a loose idea together with a therapist over about 2 years of weekly meetings.

To be honest, user, I don't have any devious kinks that I know of. I am SUPER dominating in bed, and I attract girls who want to call me daddy (I'm in my 30's now), and that used to bother me, but I've gotten over it. I've known three or four now. I kind of embraced being super dom, with a sub girl. Beyond that, and beyond finding playing with my own ass, or another person's ass, super erotic, and finding someone touching MY ass to be violently repulsive, I don't know. Mostly I daydream about suicide like it was a hot girl, but I never take it real far because some fam depend on me, and I love my girl. But, mostly, I just think about dying a lot.

U dumb. Pls go 4ever.

this terrifies me, how did you first realise youd been abused? Did you have actual memories before therapy or did it all come out after the therapist suggested you could have been raped? I have a lot of abnormal behaviours that I am able to hide from almost anyone. I just dont know why they are there

Smoke some dope and jerk off goddamn

do you think PTSD stands for post traumatic soldier disorder?

I went my entire life (until mid-20's) basically unable to establish healthy relationships with people. And I met this unicorn girl, and I basically said, "If I don't fix me, and she gets away, I'll regret it forever." Right? Like, now or never. And I started doing some serious soul searching, and I remembered a few things that...honestly that I assumed were fake. So I called my mom, met her for lunch, and said, "Do you think it's possible dad sexually abused me?"

She started crying and saying yes. She had hoped it wasn't true for me, too, but both my brother and sister had come forward independently in the previous few months all talking about it, too, and she didn't mention it because she was afraid of influencing me somehow. But we're a distant, fractured family. We never really talk. So then I started trying to figure out what to do, and I wasn't coping well. It was like a dam I'd built had burst, and I started having some serious stability issues. So I sought therapy then, after I remembered, after I had it independently ...not confirmed, but affirmed, I suppose. I have severe childhood-onset Domestic PTSD (it's kind of the same whether you get a fist in the face, or a dick in the butt), and probably not a world record, but the most severe case of emotional dissociation my doctor had ever seen. They said I wasn't a sociopath, because it's trauma induced? Basically? And because I'm non-violent. But I'm not really that different from a sociopath, because of it. I don't really understand or relate to the feelings of others. But I fucking fell in love with that girl, and I spent years trying to make myself worth loving.

I'm actually gonna call you a faggot, because fuck society and fuck you faggot

fuck sake, thats basically me, I genuinely thought I was a psychopath/sociopath for a long time. I have no memories of being abused though and have never been in situations where it could have happened. My dad did claim he had trouble feeling emotions towards people, so maybe its inherited. Anyway that sucks man. Least we can be super manipulative and go out in a blaze of glory one day.

Rock Collecting

I got fucked as a kid, it was some neighbourhood girl that was like 16 so it wasn't really bad.
She was a bully, but would fuck again.

you're a fucking dumbass and i hate people like you with a fucking passion get aids and die fag