Blowjob stories. Best/worst experiences

Blowjob stories. Best/worst experiences.

Who sucks better dick on average, men or women?

Your mother

Gay people are like 4% of the population. On average women suck better dick due to sheer volume.

You failed math in school, didn't you? American?

Not how average works faggot

Best experience was in high school. I was on and off with my gf at the time. One day after school was already out we were waiting for our moms to pick us up. She asked me to follow her behind the stage. Drops to her knees and sucks me off in front of this door to a computer lab. She ends up swallowing and as we walk out janitor confronts us and asks what we were doing. Tell him we were arguing (he buys it lol) then notice as we walk out both our moms were waiting to pick us up for at least 5 minutes. It wasn't until i get in the car i noticed she didn't get all of it in her mouth, small stain on my pants. Not sure if my mom knew, but either way 10/10 would do again.

Are you guys retarded? If the number of gay people are so much less than women, the number of good dick suckers would definitely be less too. Thus, one can conclude that they can get a better chance of getting a good blowjob if they seek a woman. Of course this is assuming his statistic is not fabricated.

That isn’t how average works. More will also mean more bad dick suckers so it’ll average out

Cheated on my wife on my birthday I have never came from head but this girl made me nut in her mouth In like four minutes fucking amazing hands down best birthday so far

I'll green text if any one wants

From my experience men are better.

Then again they were all older men who were probably experienced whereas the girls were all 17-19

Either I don't get off from blowjobs or everyone who has sucked my dick is bad at it

GREEN TEXT NIGGA, DID YOU GET CAUGHT CHEATING?

the closest ive come to a blowjob is sticking my dick in my sleep 9 y/o nieces mouth

Gotchu son her I go

>Be me
>Start new job
>Relationship rocky as ever
>develop coke habbit
>coke makes me horny
>9/10 Mexican hostess hired
>BAD AF
>I'm autistic at flirting she does all of it.
>her babydaddy beat tf outta her a lot so she was resentful and wanted new dick
>Start smoking together after work she vents to me.
>goes on for awhile till my bday comes around
>"oh poor user your wife's not doing anything for you today"
>No:( We decide to finally hang out
>pick her up smoke a blunt
>"user park real quick" um okay
>She fucking attacks shorts off grinding on my dick
>awkwardly tells me she wants to suck my dick it was a bit strange how she asked
>Absolute shock. never have had head that good don't think i ever will again

No I never got caught be she questioned me just yesterday about that one time I didn't come home till 8am blahblahblah The girl got caught tho and beat severely and he wanted to kill me called my job and everything we ended up fucking but that's another story that went weird as well

...

holy fuck user is the girls boyfriend in jail for the beating lmfao

Here's your (You), now, greentext time.

Nope it was common knowledge at work too that her bf was abusive everyone saw the bruises his family even worked with us...his sister and cousin they never said shit. they actually had another baby recently lol

Wot?

Anyone got a guess on what this guys saying to me

wtf are you saying retard?

It doesn't matter if women are 90% and men are 10%. If 60% of woman are good dick suckers and 30% of the men (90% of population), it means women average higher.

Fucking burger education everyone. Don't even know how average works.

He wants you to tell the story of you fucking that bitch, and wants you to put it in greentext because all stories should be written in greentext.

except you got your numbers wrong dumbass. 90% of men are good dick suckers, and 30% of woman are good dick suckers.

he did it correct though
he's basically saying "here's your reply" and to continue green texting lol

Tenting in @ rv park
I’m drunk, wife is horny
Two room tent, wife start giving me bj in front room.
After while wife moves us into back room on the bed, continues bj.
Next day wife tells me guy was watching us when bjing in front room *shrugs*

BITCH FUCKING TIME BOYS

>After bj we get a lot closer
>Texting and hanging out all the time
>She even starts fights with him for an excuse to storm off in anger to hang out.
>Btw were doing lots of coke together which she had never done before kek.
>Hits me up on one my drunken heroin/coke binge nights
>user come over im at my mom's you can sleep here
>Omw right away lol
>drink in my truck together for awhile
>go inside to her room
> I pass out
>wake up to her snuggling me which leads to some feeling
>eventually begin fucking
>Actually got hard feared I wouldn't she was SO fucking tight.
>I hear crying?
>wtf is that a baby?
>similar to a bunk bed but another bed comes out from underneath instead of it being way above and that's the bed the baby was on
>dick instantly soft
>remember sister shares room
>where's your sister?
>"She's in the bed behind you be quiet"
>bed behind me bitch wtf

Long story short I couldn't get it back up after that and she felt real shitty for some reason like she wasn't pretty enough but really it was the baby feet away and the thought of her sister waking up to me in the room NAKED and screaming and me getting killed

Me and my best friend used to blow each other between 5th and 8th grade, several times a week.
And that felt amazing. I've had a few good bj's by women when drunk but nothing comes close to having my friends mouth around my cock while hiding in the bushes outside the school.

I had a girl who tried to deepthroat me while I was cumming and she threw up but it felt pretty good.

Be me 19 y/o virgin...am now 20 y/o virgin
> go on date with QT 5tf tall 14 y/o latina gril from OKC
> has 34F tits (and not fat)
> that was cash
> in back seat of my 99 Camry
> eventually gives BJ
> Fist time dick touched by someone other than me
> it's weird
> only sucking on head
> uses hands to kinda make up for it
> there are teeth
> take for goddamn ever because I decided to fap in the shower before date to keep head clear
> finally about to cum
> tell her
> pulls mouth off dick
> recordscratch.vinyl
> what are you doing?
> i don't like cum in my mouth
> moodstraighgatblased.dll
> take another million years to cum
> fucking finally do
> feels like it's been 15 minutes
> cum on self hadly any thinks to her hand job(she actually used enough spit to lube it up though so i guess i can give her credit there)
> asks if I've Any napkins or tissues in my car to clean up
> you'vegottabefuckimgkiddingme.gif
> only have fuckimg Kirkland Surface wipes
> worked well on leather seats
> burned the living hell out of my dick
This has been the only blowjob I've ever had

> she dumps me before start of next date for knocking on her door
Think I dodged a bullet with her so i guess it's ok

>only ever seem to attract attractive Latinas & uggo-average white grils
Why is this?

> pic unrelated

Pretty fucking ballsy user knocking on a 14 year olds door my advice would be to avoid doing anything like that forever you slip up and live in the wrong state and parents say something and say hello to sex offender registry for life

>be data mining on Sup Forums
>see loser admit to committing felony
>log his info and send it up the chain
Party van is coming, better get ready

Best blowjob I ever got was from a Thai massage girl. Full deep throat with sucking and tongue swirling action. I had never come from a blowjob before, but she milked that shit out of me like the pro she was. Was unbelievable. She also swallowed instantly and smiled up at me like it was nothing.

Worst was from a Filipina girl from Tinder who thought she was a 'blowjob pro'. She liked to spit and drool everywhere, to the point where she put a towel under me so it wouldn't get on the bed. Like she would slobber all over my dick, spit on it, lick up the spit, then smear it around using her tongue. I almost vomited out of sheer disgust. You could smell her bad breath all over my lap, and the whole room smelled like cock after a little while. Jesus. I deep creampied her as punishment, even though she asked me not to since her 'mattress was open' (retarded filipina speak for, "I'm fertile today"). Silly cunt actually came from being inseminated, but cried afterword since she didn't want to get pregnant. I gave her 500 pesos to buy a morning after pill, then kicked her out.

Was that Filipina a hooker?

>When I was probably around 18, I got a job at a call center. 411, tty, etc. In my training class I meet this girl named Alice who has some horrible acne patches on her face but is beautiful underneath it (you know?) We get to know each other well enough for me to start coming over to her house on occasion.
>We just chill in living room talking and I meet her mom, etc
>one day she motions for me to come with her to her to her bedroom. "That feeling walking into a strange girls bedroom.devilsadvocate"
> has me lay on bed and Alice starts giving me head unlike I ever had or have gotten since. She parked her mouth at the bottom of my cock and just sucked it like a calf sucking a cow titty... Every-single-time I touch her pussy, Alice lets out these loud moans like I have never heard from another girl... like shehad never been fucked and wanted my cock in her in order to survive or some shit.
>her pussy is always sooooo wet when I touch it, coupled with the moans, I start avoiding fingering her while she sucks me off.
(making me hard writing this)
>Everytime, I cum straight down Alices throat and she just keeps sucking like she didn't notice, EACH TIME. I have to tap her shoulder and say "i came 5 minutes ago... "YOU DID??"
>one night want head. Call Alice, "no, fuck you user!! You just want your dick sucked! !"
>hang up never see Alice again

A few years back I was drunk as fuck and texted this 4/10 to come over and suck my dick. She came over and I put on The Dark Knight while she did the deed, I was too drunk to nut but she was down and blew me for the duration of the flick. I even took a piss break about halfway in and she went right back to work. Had to finish with my hand but it was an alright time. Blowjob and Batman.