Sup Forums I need to hear from someone's who's been there

Sup Forums I need to hear from someone's who's been there

>I've been inpatient twice
>I've hit rock bottom and have attempted suicide twice
>I've got PTSD, ADHD, and a fucking conduct disorder
>My entire family is scared of me and my little sister is traumatized
>Im on 4 different meds for my head and I feel so fake while im on them
>I think I'm a fucking psychopath
>I have an ACT 147 so I can't own guns or work certain jobs in the future
>I don't even care about my future


Why should I not

a. Kill myself
b. Kill other people
c. Just go fucking nuts

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Oh and all of this shit has happened over the course of a month.

If you don't care then just pick one and do it

A part of me still cares, but the majority is done, I just need to know if there is any point left before I seal the deal.

C it'd be fun for everyone

>I have an ACT 147 so I can't own guns or work certain jobs in the future

oh boy...wait until the NRA hears about this.

C. I had thoughts of murdering my family and cutting their arms and legs off, and then sowing them back on all mixed up. So my mom would have my stepdads head and my sister's legs and my dog's arms. That is what option C would be like.

God damnit I was a 302 or something.

cry more, you made your choices and here's your prize, pathetic waste of oxygen.

I don't expect a smile and a warm hug. I've accepted what I am and what ive done

Do this

sounds like there's a story here

youtube.com/watch?v=8hjAc3JpwXg

no one is waiting for me either, friend

Lets talk about your childhood. Bring it up and deal with it. Pushing it down is causing a serious internal conflict.

what did you do to your sister that was traumatising?

>b. Kill other people
Please take me out while you're at it.

I am sorry, i do not know what an act 147 is.

> I am not from the USA, btw.

Yea my entire life, here's some highlights

>i was 5 years old when I raped my little sister
>I had my first homosexual experience with another kid in kindergarten
>Used to kill small animals like birds and frog and mutilate their bodies
>held a loaded gun to my stepfathers head as he slept, almost killed entire family
>Ive made a girl kill herself in the 8th grade
>I've got my step brother addicted to cocaine and ruined his life

Where are you and do you have a gun?

Ive been in like 7 mentawards for like upto 3 years total
i have scizoafective disorder
(bipolar and scizofrenia)
I used to be really skinny and had lots of energy
now? with the meds my mind is cloudy and i got fat,lost connection with alot of friends and drove my family insane with the voices.
honestly id rather be on the meds and not hear shit than to put my parents through that kinda shit again
i stole money,i talked back at them,i hurt people.
idk what to do either,but as time went on i got better at just coping
realizing im not the center of the earth helps
and after a few suicide attempts my dad told me "this is all we have".we were poor and i always asked for more.
You gotta be a producer,not the consumer
you are the angel playing the devil,not the devil playing the angel

Yes i have many. 'merica.

Sounds fake. Sounds like an edgy teen. I've been locked up and nearly died twice in suicide attempts. I recommend hanging. Read up on auto-erotic asphyxiation and how not to do it. It's not very painful.

Go deeper into your childhood traumas. Be the "watcher" of your thoughts.

go to the hospital.

Fucking edgelord kiddo, stop trying to make your life special
We all know you're probably a basement dweller living with your mom

Don't hurt other people because you're fucked in the head you stupid nigger retard.

Bitch stop being a pussy and either get help or kill yourself.
Stop asking strangers on the internet for sympathy. It's pathetic.

d. let go of fear
When you let go of fear you will laugh at death
and considering you did so twice already it shouldnt be impossible
let go of fear
just tell it to go away by embracing love
then you'll be free

Can this guy be reported to the police? He is going to kill people.

Actually sounds like you have your shit somewhat together.. You are just experiencing whats called growth pain. It will pass, other pain will replace that one. Welcome to life kiddo. Try not to bitch whole way through it..