B I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW

B I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW

IM CURRENTLY ON THE TOILET SHITTING BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM

MY SHIT IS TOO HARD AND BIG TO PUSH OUT OF MY ASS

WHAT DO???

this is your life now

PLEASE NO

DRINK LOTS OF WATER CHUG IT DOWN DUDE

dig shit out with your finger. you could also use a spoon.

happened to me once 3 months ago. i'm still in here. this is my life now

#metoo

IM FREAKING OUT THIS MIGHT BE THE END OF ME AND MY ASS

have you tried asking on Sup Forums?

THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES

THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER OF MAKING MATTER

LAXATIVE

lost. kek

LAXITIVE IS POINTLESS. IVE ALREADY GOT THE SHIT LOCKED AND LOADED. IT JUST WONT FIT THROUGH THE DOOR

go to the drug store and get one of these

make sure you read the instructions, its important that the water can follow gravity to where it needs to be

don't waste your time. this is your life now

ill be sure to buy one!! but i need HELP RIGHT NOW

if "right now" were such a big deal, you wouldn't be on here. if it's the disaster you claim, you have time to go to the store. or ask someone to do it for you.

right now? as in your life? now?

I CAN SHIT AND USE MY PHONE ITS NOT THAT HARD

WHAT IS HARD IS TBIS SHIT STICKIBG OUT OF MY ASS THAT WILL NOT BUDGE

pics

I concur, photographing the poo sticking out of your butt forever can be an enriching and forever part of your life now

this is your life now

im losin my fuckin shit dude

big keks right here

lol@your life now

I GOTCHU PHAM

if the feces is solid and actually protruding out of you? have you tried splashing water on it to get it wet? have you considered sticking a fork in it or something and try to push and *gently* tug? if the fork gets stuck in the poo then its part of your life now

do you have any more of these? he'll need lots of different positions to spice up his life now

YES PLEASE THANK YOU MORE

Sharpie in pooper

Empty a shampoo bottle up to your ass

GUYS I THINK THE SHIT IS RETREATING

GRAB IT NOW BEFORE IT SLIPS AWAY

ITS GOING BACK IN THE CAVE

I guess you scared it with your panicked reaction. This is your life now.

it time, you may find yourself losing your awareness of who is the poo and who is the you

user i cant fucking breathe rn rest in peace

You’re done for

go to the bathtub and squat, then push it out.

CURRENTLY WIPING MY ASS.

I LOST THE BATTLE BUTI WILL WIN THE WAR

THIS SHIT WONT ESCAPE ME NEXT TIME

...

fill up a container big enough for you to lower your butt into with warm water, squat into that to help it relax your anus and moisten the poo. it wont work though. nothing will work. this is your life now

Reach in just past your enraged sphincter with your thumb and forefinger, and start breaking it up as best as you can and work at the mass. If it's hard enough where you can't break it off or at least pinch off chunks at a time, you're going to need somefucking laxatives and short of having actual laxatives on hand, you're going to pray that you've got some prune juice in your fridge. Short of that as well, google home-made laxative/digestive aid solutions and see what else you can throw together, I've heard of some anons having success with mixtures involving cooking oil however I would advise against that.

I've been in trouble with this after I spent like 3 or 4 hours shit-dildoing it, works the end into gigantic plug-like thing which can make it incredibly hard to pass. Anyways, best of luck OP, you gigantic faggot.

this

this is your life now

this

(is your life now)

...

OK GUYS I LEFT THE BATHROOM LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO AND SO FAR THERES NO SIGN OF THE SHIT

I WILL RETURN WHEN THE SHIT MAKES ITS NEXT STRIKE

this is the most love you've ever gotten. without that shit, you're nothing

B IM BACK I POST ON B WHEN IM HAVNG A WEIRD POO I FUCKING SUCK DOOMDICK THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

this is your life now

#yourlifenow

M Y LIFE NOW

massage your colon
from the inside
with warm oil

ps- pics or IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

NO THANKS I'M GOOD

I LIKE MY NEW MY LIFE NOW