New celeb thread!

New celeb thread!

did you figure out if that was her in that pic last night?

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...

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>>Cameron Diaz
>>Anne Hathaway
>>Naomie Harris
>>Felicity Jones
>>Amanda Seyfried
>>Rose McGowan
>>Sienna Miller
>>Sharon Stone
>>Lindsay Lohan
>>Demi Moore
>>Vivica Fox
>>Catherine ZetaJones
>>Renée Zellweger
>>Julia Roberts
>>Naomi watts
>>Kate Hudson
>>Lucy Liu
>>Emma Thompson
>>Penélope Cruz
>>Alicia Keys
>>Michelle Williams
>>Julianne Moore
>>January Jones
>>Emmy Rossum
>>Diane Kruger
>>Jaime King
>>Este Haim
>>Gwen Stefani
>>Nicole Kidman
>>Uma Thurman
>>Sarah Jessica Parker
>>Marion Cotillard
>>Kate Beckinsale
>>Jennifer Lawrence
>>Rosario Dawson
>>Helena Bonham Carter
>>Heidi Klum
>>Rooney Mara
>>Jennifer Garner
>>Olivia Wilde
>>Busy Phillips
>>Kristen Wiig
>>Ashley Judd

...

Man imagine how awful Emma must have felt with that tub of lard Harvey fucking her.

His hot rancid breath inches from her face.

His numerous fat rolls rubbing against her bare stomach and her sensitive nipples, chafing her soft delicate skin.

His thick dick pumping into her tight vagina, not caring about her enjoyment just thumping away at her insides.

Her face grimaces in pain as his dick throbs inside of her as he goes deeper and deeper.

The disgusting smelly sweat off of his body falls onto her skin, smearing her with a stench that her body has never been used to. Her body now has a disgusting sheen of her own sweat and his and she cant tell where his odor begins and her's ends.

Then without warning she feels it, he starts to orgasm.

And she desperately tries her best to wriggle free before he can finish weakly pummeling his fat meaty chest and man boobs with her tiny arms.

But she's not strong enough...

He pumps her full of disgusting thick semen, accompanied by a groan that sounds like a hybrid between a strangled pig and a retarded whale.

Weinstein collapses on top of her for a moment, his full weight stifling her and almost destroying her delicate rib cage.

Emma starts to cry, the pain from this 300 lb man on top of her and the thought of his thick semen in her vagina have driven her to to tears.

Then he rolls off of her and starts to pull up his pants over his lopsided fupa.

"See hon, not so hard was it? I'll tell them to give you the role. You're gonna be an even bigger star than you already are."

Emma turns away from him and buries her face into a sweat stained pillow, his cum slowly leaking out of her vagina as she lies there.

She hears the hotel room door open and then close and she knows that he is finally gone but his stench... his smell lingers onto her skin, inside of her vagina, and in her mind.

A disgusting permanent reminder of what had been done to her.

I've got a question, why go for the celeb threads? I know there are a lot of them, but isn't Sup Forums just reposts of the same threads and topics over and over these days?

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Roberts fag will be dead in a year. let us take solace in that

Huh?

awww little babby upset T_T

here’s how i interpret this: Bill Hitchert, Jon Callanan and Lori Petrosino were facebook friends (prolly IRL friends as well). One day Bill Hitchert posted the Banana image. Maybe he got some response, maybe not. Maybe people commented on the image and he was really proud of his finding. Maybe no one commented and he let it go. I think he got some feedback and he was proud of himself, in a pleb way. Then, one day, perhaps not too long after, Jon Callanan posts the same banana image. I don’t know if it was intentional or not. Perhaps he had a beef with Bill Hitchert, perhaps he was just trolling Bill, perhaps he was just as a moron as Bill (they are friends, after all). Bill, upon seeing that, not sure what Jon was up to, tries to fake a laugh and asks where did Jon find it (hey Jon “ha-ha”, where did you find this ?). Jon, who prolly knew what he was doing, says, oh, just somewhere. Then adds sarcastically. Nice of you to join us. It’s possible that Bill was ignoring Jon, and that Jon did it to bait Bill. Bill, then, passively-agressively says the famous “i really (3x) like this image”, as if saying (yeah, I, it was me, before, who posted that image, scumbag) Jon, then replies with his famous: save it, it’s yours, which, of course, means “yes, I know you posted, i stoled, suck my dick”. Then Lori, who was just passing by, says: “wow, this is funny” Bill, then being the one who posted first, of course, says “thank you, you should thank me, I was the one who introduce the image to this faggot” And that was the story

M-My m-m-mistress Victoria Justice i-is a very beautiful w-woman a-and I-I'm a lucky m-man t-to have h-her...

because he is so autistic that not even we wanted to deal with him

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Banana thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY
REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.

I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was a beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early. I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her. Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for. Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you're both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

Get.
Help.

guess it wasn't you. my b

...

"Dirty" Dan " The man with the plan to get her in the van. Thick as a beer can. Widest girth in the land. I hate sand. You'll love getting slammed. Keep quite or be canned. I'll never be banned. Its for the kids, don't you understand? I can tell you're fan. I am a legend on Sup Forums. Some like 'em only white, but I accept tan." "Rough rider. Large hardon collider. Hold her tighter, she's a fighter. I enjoy the biters. I like them lighter. Hymen diver. Its going to be an all-nighter. If you have a daughter, hide her." " Don't call me that." Schneider

...

Beer Can Dan Danny Diapers "Ass Man" Dan Danny Daycare Spread 'em Dan Candy Man Dan Family Man Dan "Big Daddy" Dan "Deepthroat" Dan The Big Dick @ Nick "Dirty" Dan Schneider Open Wider Schneider Schneider The Butcher "Bend Over" Schneider Diaper Viper Schneider "Foot Soldier" Schneider Dan "The Man" Schneider Dan "The Biter" Schneider Dan "The Spider" Schneider Dan "The Defiler" Schneider Dan "The Initiator" Schneider Dan "The Plunger" Schneider Dan "The Bladder" Schneider Dan "The Seducer" Schneider Dan "Teen Bedder" Schneider Dan "Rough Ryder" Schneider Dan "The Collector" Schneider "No Lube Required" Schneider Dan "The Despoiler" Schneider Dan "Deep Pounder" Schneider Dan "She's a Fighter" Schneider Dan "Get in The Van" Schneider Dan "I've Had Tighter" Schneider Dan "The Fart Inhaler" Schneider Dan "Deep Inside Her" Schneider Dan "Came Inside Her" Schneider Dan "Likes 'Em Tighter" Schneider Dan "The Meat Grinder" Schneider Dan "The Diaper Slider" Schneider Dan "The Slime Geyser" Schneider Dan "The Cheek Divider" Schneider Dan "The Diaper Sniper" Schneider Dan "The Virginity Taker" Schneider Dan "The Hymen Collider" Schneider Dan "The Demolition Man" Schneider Dan "The Cervix Wrecker" Schneider Dan "Chester the Molester" Schneider Dan "Slamming Tiny Hams" Schneider Dan "The Pussy Annihilator "Schneider

get.
help.

Well, I guess you got a point there

Dan "The Starlet Sodomizer" Schneider Dan "The Junior High Insider" Schneider Dan "M'lady, Your High Chair" Schneider Dan "Already Creampied Her" Schneider Dan "I like 'em Small and Tan" Schneider Dan "The Overnight Supervisor" Schneider Dan "That Ass Could Be Redder" Schneider Dan "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" Schneider Dan "We Got Ourselves A Screamer" Schneider Best Man Dan "The Warmth Provider" Schneider Dan "Good God They're Children Man" Schneider Dan "The Man With The Plan (to rape)" Schneider Dan "Say Goodbye To Your Brown Eye" Schneider Dan "The Kike at Nick Giving Tykes the Dick" Schneider Dan "If You Have A Daughter You Better Hide Her" Schneider

>In contact with aliens
>Possess psychic-like abilities
>Control france with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & banks globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Bogdanoff babies
>both brothers said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now
>The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land?
>They learned fluent French in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff
>The twins are about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.

I need to know

get.
help.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

I feel no shame

...

You must be new here.

Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of being disrespected on this goddamn website. All I wanted to do was post my opinion. MY OPINION. But no, you little bastards think it's "hilarious" to mock those with good opinions. My opinion. while not absolute, is definitely worth the respect to formulate an ACTUAL FUCKING RESPONSE AND NOT JUST A SHORT MEME OF A REPLY. I've been on this site for 6 months: 6 MONTHS and I have never felt this wronged. It boils me up that I could spend so much time thinking and putting effort into things while you shits sit around (probably jerking off to traps or whatever gay shit you like) and make fun of the intellectuals of this world. I've bored you? Good for fucking you. Literally no one cares that your little brain is to underdeveloped and rotted to comprehend my idea...MY GREAT GREAT IDEA. I could sit here all day whining, but I won't. I'm NOT a whiner. I'm a realist and an intellectual. I know when to call it quits and to leave the babybrains to themselves. I'm done with this goddamn site and you goddamn immature children. I have lived my life up until this point having to deal with memesters and idiots like you. I know how you work. I know that you all think you're "epik trolls" but you're not. You think you baited me? NAH. I've never taken any bait. This is my 100% real opinion divorced from anger. I'm calm, I'm serene. I LAUGH when people imply I'm intellectually low enough to take bait. I always choose to reply just to spite you. I won. I've always won. Losing is not in my skillset. So you're probably gonna reply "lol epik trolled" or "u mad bro" but once you've done that you've shown me I've won. I've tricked the trickster and conquered memery. I live everyday growing stronger to fight you plebs and low level trolls who are probably 11 (baby, you gotta be 18 to use Sup Forums). But whatever, I digress. It's just fucking annoying that I'm never taken serious on this site, goddamn.

I am the heritage from the years of corruption. I'm on the intelligence side. I have no identity or nationality. I'm the one who chances the tide I've got no real name, revolution is my game
and there will be mercy to none. I'm like the pest, I will never rest 'til all the cleaning is done. I am the nightmare of all systems; the anger burns deep. A perfect killing machinery
Hey Mr. President get some sleep. Hijacking in the east, a murder in the west. For the good cause it's all justified. A killing in the north, a bombing in the south. Another couple of bastards died No negotiations or worthless conventions. I throw over regimes by force. I'll butcher world leaders. With arms that they feed us. And no one can stop this man's war
I'll tear apart your society
Change the course of history
Time to break their passivity
End their bullshit diplomacy
Just ice, terror, reforming the world. Raging fury burning every state. Bullets, mines, explosions, bombs and guns. Gonna make them eat their nude-ar (nuclear) waste. I am the annihilator, I control the detonator. Smiling as I push it down. I blow up your embassies,
undermine democracies I even will hunt for the British crown. I precisely aim at the life that I claim; the bullet will enter the head. Confusion all around. But I will not be found. World near my serenade in lead!

WARNING
gay sex thread gay sex thread gay sex thread gay sex thread gay sex thread

99% of this thread is the same person
____________
you are in a gay sex thread that is made by the same perpetual faggot under the guise of a ‘celeb’ thread

Daesh is yesterdays news faggot. Raqqa has fallen. Isis has ceased to be an effective fighting force. Their leaders are dead or fleeing.

Now sit back and wait for the next Saudi sponsored Sunni Jihadi militia to form and start wrecking shit. Maybe execute a captured journalist or two in the mistaken belief that Americans give a shit about journalists any more (peddlers of fake news as they are.) Hell, it’s 2017. Maybe they’ll get their hands on a D-list youtube personality and execute him, who knows. Half the internet will say the video has been doctored, is false, is a CIA false Flag, will look knowinlgy at the pixels and deduce that that is not how real people die. In the meanwhile the group also suicide bombs around 1500 muslims in a period of 5 weeks but is brushed off as sand niggers sand nigging. We will come up with a catchy name for them and our media will happily show the recrutiment videos they produce with macabre chilling music reminding us that the people whose families we kill with Drone Strikes (based on at best questionable evidence) see us as foreign tyrants and wants revenge because we are killing their people for the sake of profit. Sorry, no wait. Because they are muslims and musims hate freedumz and the west and they need to be all killed before they can kill us so we need more Hellfire Drone strikes to nip the problem in the bud. Hey, if you kill the children of the parents you kill then the children can’t grow up to be vengeful terrorists in the future, an they.

But yeah, fuck Isis. They are gone but they will be replaced.

After all, without a boogeyman in the middle east how are we going to justify having a military presence there?

Fucking hell, I just lost a ylyl in a celeb thread.. This gif is great

Cuckold Porn is Jewish culture.
Jewish culture has a matrilineal society. A matrilineal society dictates that all offspring are a continuation of the mother's womb and not that of the father's seed. So, it is in this respect, that the Jew is naturally inclined to accept and even promote cuckolding as a cultural norm. The Jew male is not the sex that will pass on the parasidic gene to posterity, rather his job is to raise the woman up above him so that the Jewess can dominate. The male, therefore, is a sissy slave worker for the Jewish family unit, while the woman is free to fuck and suck off every bull that will seed her womb.
Now, it is important to understand that cuckolding is not just a cultural norm for the Jew. The Jew actually needs to cuckold in order to carry on with the race, or parasite strain. As can be seen clearly in all Jewish children, there is a natural physical and/or mental defect in the racial gene pool that cannot be explained other than by a defective parasite. This means that the Jew will try to breed outside the parasitic strain so that the parasite can survive. But, in order for the physically and mentally defective Jew to accomplish this inter breeding, they must first spread their culture to the host Goy.
The Goy then is a seeder so that the parasidic gene has continuity. You see, the Jew is truly a parasite, such that, the female is open and free to reproduce, even at the cost of a marriage vow or the moral compass of the host nation or race. Cuckolding is a necessity of the Jewish survival, and the goy need to be sold on it before the parasite gene is extinguished from the planet by natural means. In other words. the parasite gene of the Jew will eventually regress into a monsterous subhuman if the parasite does not find a suitable host, and because the Jewish culture is matrilineal, the Jewess must cuckold the Jew males in order for the Jewish parasite gene to survive as a "people."

The matrilineal Jewish culture is not by accident. If the Jewish parasite were passed on through the male, which, biologically speaking, will pass to the offspring of the male Jew, then the so called "race", or parasite gene, would have a harder time surviving. Physically deformed Jewish males (that are often times also mental defectives) could not find mates as easily as a parasidic female Jewess, so having a matrilineal culture ensures an easier survival and a clear cultural motivation in cuckolding the male.
This cultural cuckolding can be easily seen in the push of Jewess females to marry host goy males. The Jew male in his cuckolded position in society will offer up his wife, sister, cousins, or even daughter to the first non-Jew bull that comes along. It is a matter of survival. Jewish women have always been huge fucking sluts, and jewish men have been watching their women leave them for taller, stronger, and more handsome white European men. They are the inventors of cuckoldry as a fetish and that is why they promote it as "intelligent." That's JEWISH intelligence, for you goyim.

your thread sucks

kys

some Hayleyfag posted a pic of her (or he thought it was her) from behind in some sexy outfit and wanted to know if we knew if it was her or not. so I went on a thread long journey to try and help him get confirmation but ended up falling asleep and don't know if he figured it out lol. wish I would have saved it

...

This cultural aspect of the Jewish parasite explains the reason why most Jewish men are cuckolded sissies that frequent homosexual bars and become gay activists (Havery Milk amoung many examples). The Jewish male is expected to destroy the host's moral foundations of a patriarichal society, which is easily done by a promotion and proliferation of homosexual ideas into the host society (earliest know Jewish influence of homosexual behavior was in Athens Greece around 2500bce by the Phoenician Jews that came to live there). This has a two fold effect on the survival of the parasite gene, such that, the weaker of the host nation and people will become homosexuals and thus wont be picked to breed with the Jewess parasite, and also the Jewish male now has an outlet for his cuckold lifestyle that is independent of the Jewess parasite wife that innately treats him as a subhuman that cannot breed worthy offspring. The Jew then has killed two birds with one stone with the promulgation of homosexuality.
One might also note that the Jew will promote homosexuality in the host people at a very young age so as to make it a cultural norm by the time the young men of the host people are old enough to fight in wars. This has a serious effect at culling a nation before it is able to violently strike at the Jew and erradicate the parasite forever. What can also be seen in Jewish culture is a propensity to divorce and also join political activism for the most counter-productive ideologies, which is really just one more symptom of having a matrilineal society for the survival of a parasite gene.

Who is this guy ffs

The Jew female will often cast out the dominant husband before the age of 30, given that the marriage even lasts that long. This divorce is not necessary if the male will be openly cuckolded, but often times the Jewess will be seperated from the male at an early age. This aspect of Jewish culture is also important for the involvement in political ideologies that ensure that the parasite is protected from extinction--natural or otherwise. The Jewess parasite, now single, will support political groups like a man fighting a war, of which there is little difference. The female parasite is just protecting her children like any mother would for any species. The mother knows that the parasite gene is going to have to pass on the parasite just like she did, so the political violence and unyielding involvenment in clearly unnatural ideologies only serves to protect the next generation of parasite. This is why one can see the Jewess parasite promoting ideologies that empower women, homosexuals (gender identity), and even more disgusting ideologies like beastiality and BDSM.
This is not the end, however. Understand, that this offspring is not human, it is a parasite and will continue the parasite's ambition to exist within the host. So, the Jew female will, at a middle age, become an activist for women's rights till about the age of 45 or 50, which is about the time that the now old Jew female parasite decides she needs a care giver. Now, the Jew male at this point will be starved for sex and will remarry the Jewess and the circle of Jewish life is complete. Or, it might be the case that the Jewess parasite lives alone with only a minor involvement in the offspring's lives. Either way, the Jewess can be expected to be in most single's events at a very old age as if a prize to behold.

Andy Cooper is hottest celeb with the most feminine penis.

saved holy hell

The JEW PARASITE needs to promote cuckolding so that the parasite does not lose the host for breeding. Multiculturalism and interracial marriages are another corner stone to the Jewish survival. It is Jewish culture and should not be the interest of the other races unless those races of human want to support the parasite. In supporting multiculturalism, the Jewess parasite supports a potential to mate with other human races so that her parasite can live on into posterity.
This also works well for the Jew in a general sense because a racially aware society will also see through the push for matrilineal indoctrination, that it to say, a pure race will have no need for a parasite and will easily see the parasite as a sore to be removed from the earth. The host nations must remember that all things Jewish in Culture are either stolen from the host human races or created to promote the continuity of the parasite.
It is in the best interest of the humans in this world to finally understand that the parasite can latch onto the negroid races with all impunity, but it should not be allowed to latch onto the master race, for the master race must continue to create a world of common sense and understanding.

HI I'M ADOLF HITLER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE NAZI PARTY. THE HISTORY BOOKS ARE WRONG, THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS DID NOT KILL THE JEWS. I PERSONALLY KILLED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE SIX MILLION WITH MY GARGANTUAN GERMAN GLOCKENSPEIL. MY MASSIVE FRANKFURTER FROM THE FATHERLAND SMASHED EACH AND EVERY HEEB WITH MORE ZEST AND ZEAL THEN ZYKLON-B EVER COULD FATHOM. FOUR AND ONE HALF MILLION PERISHED UNDER MY IMPRENGABLE BUNKER. THE OTHER ONE POINT FIVE MILLION I DROWNED IN A COLLOSAL RAIN OF MY FUHRERFUNK, EACH JEW CHOKING WITH DELIGHT ON MY DELICIOUS DONGDROPPINGS. THEIR GASPING, CHOKING VOICES SOUNDED LIKE A GREEK CHORUS UNTIL THE FINAL BREATHS OF THE LAST. I GUARANTEE IT.

You like her?

I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. MY SECRETARY, FOLLOWING A BARBARIC BEAVER BEATING THAT SLOUGHED OFF HER UTERINE LINING MORE EFFECTIVELY THAN HER OWN MENSTRUAL CYCLE, INFORMED ME THAT MY TWO LEAST FAVORITE ARTISTS, 311 AND SCOTT STAPP, WERE RECENTLY INVOLVED IN A SCUFFLE. HISTORICALLY A MEDIATOR, I FLEW IN MY LEARJET TO MEET THE TWO BANDS. THE TWO GROUPS WERE WHINING LIKE ANNA NICOLE SMITH AFTER INHERITANCE MONEY UNTIL I PREPPED THE MEMBERS OF 311 FOR THE IMPENDING IMPALEMENT WITH A COMPREHENSIVE COATING OF NUT NECTAR, GLUING THEM TO THE GROUND. AFTER SUSTAINING A BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE HEAD FROM MY CROTCH CRUSHING CONCUSSION CANE, STAPP WAS TAKEN 'HIGHER' THAN EVER BEFORE AS HE WAS BOUNCED LIKE A BABY UPON THE Z-MAN'S TWO-TON TROUSER-SCHNAUZER, WHILE THE 311 MEMBERS WERE HELD CAPTIVE BY THEIR OWN ASSHOLES LIKE BOWLING BALLS. THE FORCE FROM MY CULVERT-SIZED COCK SPLITTING STAPP APART WAS ENOUGH TO CAUSE HIM TO DEVELOP DUAL PERSONALITY DISORDER. AS STAPP PROCEEDED TO BLEED TO DEATH, MY STEADFAST SLUT-SPEARING SON-SIRING SKINFLUTE BURST THROUGH THE LEAD SINGER'S BVD'S, CAUSING HIM TO BREAK OUT INTO A RAPE-INSPIRED RENDITION OF 'COME ORIGINAL'. I COULD ONLY INTERPRET HIS SINGING TO INDICATE IT WAS TIME TO FINISH UP, SO I BURIED THE ALT-ROCK GREAT IN A GOOEY GRAVE OF GONAD GOULASH. MY GROIN YETI IS NOW THE SIXTH MEMBER OF 311, I GUARANTEE IT.

Wow!

them titties

cease your reckless samefaggotry

God damn you, I bliming hate you. I've been noticing how you've been bliming with my head, making me see banana memes everywhere, and now it cost me my job. I used to work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino's, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I'm even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual "enjoy your meal" bit that I usually say, seized control of my brain. "There you are, guys. Enjoy your aids." As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn't realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a moment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant. The two dudes go DIPSHIT. My manager comes over, and there's screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

...

Thanks for cheering me up last thread.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Log Slidding, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret log slides down people's throats, and I have over 300 confirmed clogged throats. I am trained in log slidding and I’m the top slidder in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will slid you the fuck down with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the log, maggot. The log that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can slid logs down your throat and clogging it in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from eating corn. Not only am I extensively trained in log slidding, but I have access to the entire fiber supply of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to slide my ass-ripping giant creamy steamy dreamy logs of shit down your miserable throat off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all down your throat and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. ~Andy

Mercy mercy me!

To be fair, you have to have a scat fetish to understand Andy Sixx's logs. The flavor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of eating da poopoo, most of the logs will go over a typical eater's head. There's also Andy's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his songs - his personal philosophy draws heavily from his dad Nikki, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these logs, to realize that they're not just tasty- their flavor says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike eating logs of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the bouquet of his creamiest, steamiest dumplings, which themselves are a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Andy's logtrain unfolds itself into their gaping months. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a BVB tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for Andy's eyes only. And hopefully I can demonstrate to him just how dedicated I am too answer the question: "Would you?"

Okay I'm done. Well and truly done, just like your gay unfunny steak and ketchup meme that you cucks post on here, the burnt steak smothered in ketchup, that's how fucking done I am with this shit. Every day I take time from my life to select the funniest pictures, gifs and webms from my YLYL folder that I've spent the last few years building up, and every single time, I never get a "lost" - I'd even be happy with a "kek" or even a "lel", but no. Nothing. You trap loving immature closet homsexual basement dwelling Yu-Ghi-Oh playing, Pokemon collecting man-children would rather laugh at ridiculous banana memes and reply to Your mother will die in her sleep posts. Well, no fucking wonder Sup Forums has turned in to a normie joke, you all disgust me. I'm deleteing my YLYL folder right now, and I won't be creating another one, so there you have it, you've lost another OG Sup Forumsro, a normie will take my place, you'll have more normie memes get posted. Congratulations on slowly turning Sup Forums in to 9fag, cunts.

...

I'm sorry to interrupt but I would like to take this time to talk about my diarrhea. I had the worst diarrhea of my life a few months ago after eating at Applebee's. I got sick while I was in the mall and it hit very suddenly. The closest toilet was in Sears so I waddled as fast as I could to get to the bathroom before a river of brown erupted from my butt. Alas I discovered that the only bathroom in Sears was on the second floor, so after futilely searching I had to make for the escalator. I could feel the butt-volcano about to erupt, I was frantic. I thought OK, almost there, I can make it, and then I learned that the bathroom was all the way on the far side of the store from the escalator! This was bad, really bad. I had my sphincter clenched as tight as I could but I knew I had only seconds left and the bathroom was about half a minute away. If I sprinted I could make it, but if I sprinted I wouldn't be able to properly clench my sphincter. I was stuck. I did the best I could, and I even made it to the bathroom, but before I could get to the stall Mt. Buttuvius erupted in my pants. And it just kept coming. I waddled to the stall with a brown geyser shooting from my bum, got my pants down, and my butt kept spraying like the world's most foul fire hose. It got all over the seat, the toilet, the walls, the floor, there was even some on the ceiling. The CEILING! I had to pant and breathe deeply but the smell was so bad I almost vomited. So there I was, in Sears, my pants a wet, slimy, nasty brown. The only good thing was that there wasn't anybody in there, and all through my struggle, nobody else came in. I did what I had to do. I used two entire rolls of toilet paper to try to clean up, and I had to try to flush my underwear into the toilet. As you can imagine, this didn't work, so the toilet overflowed and spilled fecal juice all over the bathroom. I used a third roll of toilet paper to try to clean up before giving up.

...

Y'all motherfuckers are overreacting. Really.
We're in an age of transition. We've got one part of the world (the 'west') in a state economically, ethically, and socially better than anything else ever in human history. Since the industrial revolution exploded in Britain, Britain and its peers (mostly america, canada and eastern europe too) have been developing in leaps and bounds ahead of anywhere else on the planet.
Still with me? Now, finally after America's post world war II boom has died, that development is slowing. What happens now is that the rest of the world that was left behind is starting to catch up. Right now most of Asia is not a great place to live in general, but that is slowly changing. China is going through an industrial boom a lot like Britain's back in the 18th century. Without the help of excellent circumstances like what America had (after wwii every country is in a shit state except america because it never got bombed or invaded, so they can sell fucking everything to everyone) it's going to take way longer for the developing countries of the 21st century to catch up, but they'll get there eventually.
So stop bitching about immigrants. In another 2-4 generations they'll be well cultured, english speaking, educated and contributing citizens that happen to be browner than us.
pic unrelated

defs gunna cum for Nigri

>Most overpopulation is spurred by births in developing countries, where the birth rate is two-to-three times the replacement rate
>As living standards rise in developing countries, people have less children
>Based on current trends of increasing living standards, it is estimated that world population will peak just shy of 9 billion by the end of the century
>Thereafter, the population will begin declining as the birth rate as a whole will fall below the replacement rate
>For nearly a century, people have been warning of overpopulation, predicting that by the middle to the end of the 20th Century, overpopulation would become so severe that resource depletion would become the standard
>Overpopulation and resource depletion would result in food shortages, gas and heating oil shortages, and other disruptions to the system, causing riots and economic contraction in most markets
>these predictions, like the prediction of a late 20th Century ice age emerging, we’re all bullshit
>there is no foreseeable danger of resource depletion, and humanity has, primarily as a result of market forces, adapted to use resources more efficiently or switch to alternatives when a resource becomes scarcer
>OP’s premise is utter horseshit
tl;dr version: OP is a lemming falling for the same crisis scam that has been fed to people for decades

It's difficult not to stroke to her.

Welcome to the future where I am still grinding your nuts into a fucking pulp after the last woman joke you made. As a feminist I don't expect you to understand how much we try to please you and you shoot us down with another insult. I'm done kiddo you can kiss your spot on the train station good bye because that spot is now reserved for my purse bitch. I'll have you know I've killed 387 terrorists (all men) in Aleppo and my blood lust won't end until I'll vaporize you into a pile of ashes. Step up and ill burn you like jew in aushwitz. I've got more social justice warrior status then you and I just sent a police squad to your house thinking that your El Chapo, prepare for a bullet storm. Maybe you should have looked where my eyes are not my boobs, peace.

...

Look there he goes making that THREAD again. You laugh you lose huh? It's impossibly unfathomable how spectacularly unfunny your pathetic little images are. Where'd you save those from? Facebook? Reddit? After going through so much of your cesspool of normalfaggot "memes" I haven't "lost" or "kekd" at any of your fucking shitposts. I can't imagine the look on your face when you see these reposted "memes" on your cyber power pc you got from your parents. How funny and original you think you are, how you cry newfag when someone thinks your wimpy posts aren't funny. Well newsflash YOU are the newfag. You come here for yet another formality with your edgy racism and 9/11 jokes. You fucking underage nigger shitheads bring your garbage here from ifunny and Reddit. WELL IVE HAD IT YOUNG MAN

Give in. Do it. You know you will enjoy it.

Yeah, ok. Enjoy playing with the feeble-minded, small-dicked, half-men around here. They are omega as fuck and do not even belong in the gene pool. If you were worth anything at all, you would not even find toying with them to be entertaining. I hunt predators. I don't play with insects. That you amuse yourself with the latter speaks volumes to your intellectual ineptness and vacuous soul. You couldn't handle an alpha's alpha. You would be reduced to a orgasmic convulsing girl ooze dripping uncontrollably, and you can't handle that so you wrap yourself up in petty manchild games to feel superior. It is YOU that have the control issue. Those of us who are actually in control and control others all day long in every walk of life have no need nor desire to engage in mere sparring for amygdala control when we can control the entire brain and reflexively have it act on our will without words, and permanently, with far less effort than you expend in your dysfunctional neural calisthenic dysphoria.
Run along, child, lest I focus my smite on you..

I-I know g-g-good s-s-sirs; I-I treat h-her bad and sh-she i-is h-hell o-off u-upset o-on it... S-She should h-have d-d-dumped m-my a-a-ass a-a long t-t-time a-a-ago i-in the g-garbage f-for what I-I am an-and th-the blase w-way I-I treat h-her, l-l-l-like sh-she i-is n-nothing wh-when i-in r-r-reality sh-she knows sh-sh-she i-is a-a-among th-the greatest o-of w-w-women... B-But s-s-still d-d-doesn't g-give m-me u-up... W-What a-a-am I-I compared t-t-to her...

...

...

...

Yeah it's pretty good kek

wow geisha face is rasiss, how dare they pretend to be white people, wow uproar, just wow.

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and disappear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't fuck" instinct something fierce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath."

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated bottom of my class at St. Joseph's Prep, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Sup Forums, and I have over 300 confirmed trash can kills. I am trained in burning flags and I’m the top windshield batterer in the entire St. Louis antifascist action. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Nazi. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of antifa sympathizers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can punch you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with a bike lock. Not only am I extensively trained in slap fights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Venezuelan feral cat BBQ squad and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fascist. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

so hot im edging

...

Might as well...
Gotta listen to Satan.

...

>Be me
>Serving at Mistress Emma R's manshion in LA
>In the spa room massaging her precious feet like a good little foot slave
>the alarms go off
>ohshit.jpg
>Queen Emma announces over the manshion's loudspeaker, "THE RED DEVIL IS ATTACKING"
>We all head to arms
>Me and Queen Emma bunkered down in our Goddess' walk-in closet fully prepared
>the door bursts open
>the Red Devil rolls in
>I retrieve a weaponized banana from my pocket, chucking it at him, landing in his mouth. He gags on it and chokes to death in his own vomit
>That bitch Dean Munsch attempts to enter right after, but Queen Emma grabs her
>"Hurting my pledges, eh?" She says to the now shivering Carpet Muncher
>Queen Emma forcefully ties Munsch down, crying and pleading as the sorry old hag goes down
>Queen Emma grabs a pot of boiling hot oil and pours it over Dean Munsch's face... she starts grunting
>Munsch is begging for her life, but her cries are muffled by a piping hot batch of oil
>Munsch is crying, turned into a little bitch by our Goddess
>babbling like a baby, Munsch cries out “stop! stop! no more!” as Queen Emma and the pledges in the room laugh at her
>Neck brace peeks her head into the doorway, curious from all the commotion
>Queen Emma looks her dead in the eyes ”You’re next, bitch.”
>Queen Emma gives Neck brace a 10 second head start to run, but Emma potassifies her so hard she pulls it off like a God damn Smurfette costume on Chanel-O-Ween, launching her to Munsch's location
>”Gotcha” she says to Neck brace - who is now wishing there were dinosaurs in hell - begging for her life
>Queen Emma pulls out her ultimate rageflood network and hazes the hellacious whore harder than a banquet hall during bat mitzvah season. Her head was gone from her scoliosis-ridden body when the shitstorm ended
>all the insufferable nemesis pledges in our base dead, died a ROYAL death, topkekkle.png
>they never ended up finding Neck brace's head
>Jewess Queen is love, Jewess Queen is life.
>mfw

...

...

Dat ass

Fuck, why did you have to post her??

My boss found my Jewess Queen folders on my work PC. I have only a few saved, probably about 30 which is nothing compared to my collection at home. I started saving them since I saw EmmaR-user skyrocket with his worship posts. I have never publicly worshipped the Jewess Queen, I just like to save and document a lot of her photoshoots I come across on these celebreads and I noticed these threads have gotten pretty big as of late. So I started saving here and there. I digress. I am sitting at my desk making cold calls and the boss is on my PC, we just chatting, and it just so happens I get to a big sale over the phone when he falls silent as well. Right before I seal the deal, he has been quiet about 4 or 5 minutes and he turns and asks "Who is this Jewess Queen?" In a dry tone. I feel chills. Looking at him and he is looking at me in a way I have never seen him look before.
I half laugh and cough saying "Oh, it's just some new meme on Sup Forums." He believes it's inappropriate stalker-like content so he catches me immediately in the lie, and just explodes. "YOU HAVE PICTURES OF THIS GIRL CALLING HER JEWESS QUEEN AND PARAGRAPHS OF OBSESSIVE WORSHIP BEHAVIOUR WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU" screaming bloody murder when suddenly none other than the Jewess Queen bursts open the office door and starts DUNKING the boss' face in boiling oil while the pledges haze him harder than a banquet hall during bat mitzvah season - he falls to the floor in a delirium. I sit there in shock as she presses her bloodied hands over his mouth to stop his screams, gets right up in his face and says "Surprise, bitch you probably thought you'd seen the last of me" And gives me a coy wink. She begins hypnotizing him with her charm into submission. The oil seems to get on his gag reflex, when suddenly the Jewess Queen slaps him and says "Crown me or kiss my ass", his mind breaks into further submission. He is completely passed out now, the Jewess Queen just jumps out the window and runs off.

be honest, how much do you get paid to post these sloots?

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But legit Emma pics are just hotter...

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>ass