Ask an 11 year veteran umpire anything. Youth baseball through High School

Ask an 11 year veteran umpire anything. Youth baseball through High School

Do you jerk it to little boys?

No, but I jerk it to their moms.

How shitty are the parents?

Talk shit to players?

Honestly they get worse every year. We are trained not to directly interact with them, but instead go through the coach if we have an issue. I just got really good at a stare down when I have that occasional drunk dad in the crowd

Not to their face, but ill sometimes get a cool catcher, and we will talk massive shit all game.

...

Do you get bored with the low quality of the game and troll the parents or the kids? I can almost imagine a movie about this like Super Troopers.

How much do you get paid?

Damn that's gotta be rough. You got any kids? Any of them play baseball?

do you call strike on niggers more?

Absofuckinglutely. Had this kid who's parents used to coach his team until they got banned from the leauge. He came up to bat and I intentionally called a low inside pitch as strike 3. He proceeds to get pissed, throw his helmet, and tell me to fuck off. I ejected him on the spot, which for our leauge means he has to leave the facility if his parents are present. Sure felt good to make his entire family leave the park because the kid was a little son of a Bitch.

Just got a pay increase last year. $50 a game, with a 1:45 time limit.

No kids, but when I do, I plan on being the quietest fucker in the stands. Kids suck at baseball and I am no exception. No reason to live vicariously.

Am half nigger, Wat do?

Have you ever been injured by a fly ball, or seen anyone get hit?

Best ejection story?

Any other bratty kid stories OP?

Not a fly ball, but I get hit by pitches behind the plate every game. Shit hurts but you let it roll off to keep the game moving. I did take a line drive to the shin twice though. That has to be the worst I've dealt with. Ended up calling time for 10 mins to get back on my feet.

I ejected a kid for using an illegal bat. Parents proceeded to throw a bitch fit, and wouldn't leave the facility so we had to call the cops. Dad gets in the cops face, and ends up in the back of a cruiser.

howd you get into the whole umpire thing

I’m excited to see how the Dodgers strand another runner this inning.

Wew. Nice job. I feel sorry for the kid though, the way you put it makes it seem like he didn't get too upset.

I could go on for hours. We had a kid one time who was only 11 years old, but had the attitude of Jose Canseco. Threw his helmet at the dugout after he got thrown out at first by a mile. We warned him since he hadn't even hit puberty yet. Next at bat for the kid, an almost identical play happens. He reacts by throwing his helmet into right field, kicking the fence, and literally destroying his cooler in the dugout. I walked straight over to him, told him that he wanted to act like an adult, I would treat him like one. I ejected him, and he started crying like a little bitch. I got a call from my supervisor that same night asking why she got a call from a parent who says I bullied their kid. After I explained the situation, I was told "good job". Shits too much fun.

I was 13 and needed money for vidya. At the time they were starting umpires for the local leauge at 25 bucks a game. At age 13, that's like hitting the lotto. I got into it and quickly learned that I work well under pressure, so I just keep doing it ever year.

Damn. How's the pay?

That part of the job sucks sometimes. Because of the rules, parents might do some super shitty stuff, and the kids are the ones who suffer.

Does your league have breaking ball pitch rules for younger kids?

50 bucks a game now, with a hour 45 time limit.

Honestly I'd expect the kids to be the ones that get really pissy, not the parents. I'm guessing the older the kid, the more likely they're angry, and the younger, the more likely its the parents

Ever have a coach try to work you to call games in their favor?

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Nope. The only weird rules we have are for 9-10 rec ball. They don't have infield fly rules, they can't steal 1st to 2nd, they cannot steal 2nd to 3rd or 3rd to home until the ball crosses the plate, and if they show a bunt they must commit. This is only for the recreational leauge though. All that goes out of the window for competitive ball.

Ever caught a pitcher docking the ball?

Suprisingly no. I have coaches who I am pretty acquainted with, and if they treat me well, I treat them well. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Only once. One kid thought he could get away with pinetar on a ball. Problem was this kid was 9 and they use aluminum bat's with rubber grips. Kid was a dumbass. It's actually a balk though to go from your mouth directly to the ball. Gotta wipe that shit.

>pine tar
>on a ball

wat

nice thread

Kid probably had autism. What can I say?

we had the same rules when i was a kid. fuck those goddamn rules... especially the bunt one

Figured I could give a new perspective on a job that this random btard has.

Hopefully you didn't play in Colorado. If you did, I guarantee I called your games.

That's not even autism anymore, that's just "I'M A FUCKING IDIOT" levels of stupid.
>hurdur im gonna tar a ball
>hurdur im not gonna google if you should actually tar a ball or the fucking bat

At 9 years old, you're lucky to even make it to the plate.

so I take it you like your job a lot? it sounds like it would be a ton of fun. I have reffed a couple bball games before but that shit sucked... gotta run nonstop and niggers take 5 steps in between bounces so that wasn't cool. but baseball sounds awesome. have you always loved baseball or did this just kinda happen?
na I grew up in North Carolina and I'm 27 lol

How many kids actually wear cups?

not him but I played baseball my whole life up until 17 or 18 and cups fucking SUCK but as soon as a line drive hits you in the nuts you're so fucking happy you have it on lol.

I love baseball. I was always an uncoordinated fuck growing up, so playing beyond middle school wasn't an option. Umpiring gave me an option to still be around the game, while being paid to do so. Even though I work 2 full time jobs right now, I can't see myself giving up umpiring during the summer.

Back when I played baseball as a kiddie, I always wore my cup. It was worth it, since alot of the kids on my team were cunts, and one of em tried to nut me with a bat. The fucker got kicked off the team and my testicles were unscathed.

Less than you think. I've seen kids leave the field due to being hit. Once I even had a elderly fan leave the field when a foul ball landed on his nuts. If you go to a baseball game and have testicles, just wear a fucking cup.

I was a catcher so I always wore one. I didn’t wear a cup in football till some fat piece of shit lineman grabbed my nuts when I was getting blocked by him. It was on film and all my teammates kept going back to watch it. When that happened, I started to wear one in football.

>football
>talking about baseball
>autism

Shut up, Josh.

Who Dat?

he meant user

I would hope so