Hi

hi
painless fast ways to commit suicide please?
i don't want your helium tank or whatever i don't know where to get one and don't wanna wait to order one.
please help, i need something asap

bumping

Don't do it. Death is guaranteed, bad feels will pass.

No suicide is quick and painless. because in order to take your own life you have to go through a lot of pain first.
Get some help user. You can do it

life just isn't for me i dunno. ive switched jobs ive taken medication ive been hospitalized ive tried changing my mindset or whatever ive tried changing everytime from the time i wake up to when i go to sleep. and it just seems so satisfying to have all my problems completely gone

Trash bag over head, rope around neck constricting bag, handcuffs to keep hands from opening bag

>be me
>did this without handcuffs
>pass out
>grab bag
>wake up covered in drool and vomit 2 hours later


All you need is some toy handcuffs or some shit, but it's definitely required

these threads always end the same

ask for suicide metjods but really tjey just need somewhere to bitch

Get /fit, changes your brain and gives you something to work towards. If that doesn't work a walmart shotgun on a credit card will.

i must ask, how are things going now if you tried killing yourself before what did you do

break into a bank with a banana and get shot

thanks for contributing

they won't just shoot me i'm not black

>acquire heroin and liquor
>slam liquor
>shoot heroin
>coma
>dead

where do i even get heroin i know its around me somewhere but how

yeah but you seem like a little bitch. noone wants that around

>helium tank

anywho, go volunteer in a warzone - at least you'll accomplish something while waiting to get shot

I hope you do actually kill yourself OP. But deep down I know you won't even be able to do that. You pathetic little faggot

damn never thought id find such a genius on Sup Forums

i'm gonna prove you wrong buddy

This pathetic little fuck goes on Sup Forums to ask how to kill himself. You think he’s capable of joining any kind of military?

The fact that you're asking for an painless way out shows you don't intend to do shit. Jump off a bridge you little bitch. What the fuck do you care about 25seconds of pain for? You'd black out and die soon enough

I’m not your buddy, pal

Gunshot through front skull. Instant brain death. But you’re gonna miss out on years of technological, medical and social advancements. I was thinking about killing myself before but there’s just too much history I would miss that I kind of want to see come to fruition. Do the most you can now because non existence and endless darkness is not something to look forward too.

if i said ways to kill myself on Sup Forums they'd say some shit like shoot yourself with a nailgun until you bleed out or some stupid creative shit. i don't want some. why am i even doing this bye

user, the thing is you think you will feel relief if you end it, but the thing is, you have to be alive to feel things. Stay alive to live another day, a happier day at that. This will eventually pass man. Stay strong.

You are a profound retard. Shooting yourself in the frontal lobe is like giving yourself a lobotomy. You only die if you bleed out AND you look like beaten shit for the rest of your days. Same with shotgun wounds to the front of the face bc you pussied out. Gunshot straight through the brain stem by aiming at the back of your throat.
/medfag who ran a fucking ER here
//“Suicide: Get It right the first Time”

Buy a large bag of apples. Core them all. Pick out the seeds. Count out 295 of the apple seeds.
>apple seeds contain a compound which metabolizes into hydrogen cyanide during digestion and absorption to the G.I. tract
>295 contain enough of this compound to metabolize into a highly lethal dose of hydrogen cyanide, painless death.

Pour your 295 seeds into a blender and blend them until pulverized, along with a medium glass of apple cider. Blend on high until all seeds are mixed thoroughly with apple cider.

Chug your drink as fast as you can. You have between 35 and 45 minutes until you suddenly die from your blood being unable to absorb oxygen due to a chemical interruption of the electron transport chain - hydrogen cyanide.

You will suffocate to death painlessly, because your blood will not accumulate carbon dioxide, which causes the sensation of "suffocating".

Use wisely. Do not spread this please.

ty bye

Hydrogen Cyanide is a gas???? what?

Fucking pussy.

might just do this

Not really, people say you're a coward if you were to commit suicide. I'm afraid of dying so I don't do that - how does that make me and everyone else courageous?

It forms within your gastrointestinal tract and is rapidly absorbed whereupon its effects take hold. Your lungs will no longer absorb oxygen when you inhale, but will expel oxygen carbon dioxide when you exhale. This empties all of the oxygen out of your body within a few seconds. You do not feel the sensation of suffocation because this sensation is caused by the accumulation of carbon dioxide in your blood - making it more acidic - and triggering your urge to breath. Because of this, dying by hydrogen cyanide is completely pain-free, discomfort free, and cheap.

do you have anyone/ pet depending on you?
also divide up your belongings before you die

FYI pain is meaningless once you're dead so IMO go out with style

I don't understand a goddam word of that. I've wasted plenty of time here. Gimme your name and kill yourself you little pussy. Otherwise fuck on outta here

OP, if you wanna KYS please donate to my PayPal first. I'm a poorfag. Thanks, see you in the clouds

OP dead?

I hope so.