The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm afraid if I do...

The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm afraid if I do, that I would be reborn again like samsara but without my prior knowledge that the world and the people in it are shit. And then I could grow up being a fucking shithead waste of existence that makes the world worse than it already is.

Nice existential crisis, bro. Shit is not that serious, find something you enjoy.m and do it. Make your own meaning. Nihilism is for angsty narcissists and spoiled brats who never learned to be grateful and humble. The world doesn't revolve around you and everyone is struggling. Nut up.

Not nihilism just a shitty world. The shitty people and things they do outweigh that good things in life. And even the good things in life get taken away by the shitty people and/or things. There is significance and meaning in life, just not enough to balance out.

I just don't want to die and become the kind of people that make the world a shitty place for everyone else.

There is no afterlife.

Fuck me, I hope so

Just make a plan for yourself. Set some goals. I was going to kill myself on my birthday because over the summer, my gf broke up with me, injured my arm ceasing my music playing, tore a ligament in my leg (so I couldn't even exercise my way out of depression), and was diagnosed with gastritis. I stopped smoking and registered for school. Getting my AA in electrical engineering then transferring out of state. Make a plan. Join a union if you feel shitty. There's a lot you can do

Having depression doesn't make me 'want' anything or 'want' to do anything. But it hasn't been as bad as it was the last 4 years so maybe I'll do something.

Go get some counseling and take care of yourself user. Cheers.

I did a few times. They said they didn't want to try drugs but instead to get a hobby, don't stress about things in general and to try not to think about my depression. Which is hard, especially at night when it gets bad.

Op, if you really believe in reincarnation, sidhattra etc then you should know the only way to truly shutdown (spirtually) is through meditation. The way buddha did.
Or perhaps as an astronaut flying into a black hole... i've no clue about the physics involving a spirit in outerspace

I guess I'm an atheist so I don't truly believe in reincarnation but if it is so then it is. But I don't know if it really is, so would I spend the entirety of my life in meditation hoping for nirvana and then I'm dead and it wasn't true? But if I had a way into a blackhole I would do it.

I don't understand, meditation is like any sport or hobby, you try it, if it seems to rub u the right way you get more into it, if not you drop it.
Either way if youre REALLY suicidal then why worry about wasting your life? You're at peak freedom now. You can literally do whatever u want.

Because everything I want to do is out of reach for one reason or another and it feels like a long list in order to reach that one desired thing. I don't know what it's like for other people with depression but I'm almost constantly unmotivated to do anything. I used to lay in bed starving and thirsty enough until I can just about pass out because I just couldn't feel motivated enough to eat or drink.

So when I look at something that seems like I'd have to do a lot of things over a long period of time it's even worse than just one thing.

That's not to say I haven't tried it before, several times.

Firstly, baby steps silly & secondly, it's about the journey.
Starting something new is half the fun it's the end that you should fear, because you'll ultimately be disappointed if you over analyze. Though i havent tried to pursue nirvana...

Here's a cheap, fast investment:
Go read Camus' novel 'The Stranger'
It should give you a better perspective at what youre describing without force feeding you a sitcom style lesson of life.

I try to do it one single step at a time and try to think ahead less often but I would have to say I do have a problem with over-analysing.

And I will most likely check out that book.

pick a non destructive activity that requires you to get out of bed and leave your house. i would suggest something cost free and enjoyable or at least distracting. do this everyday regardless of the weather or how you feel i promise you will start to gain motivation and energy

i chose biking but it doesnt have to be physical exercise it just has to be something that consistently gives you small accomplishments (for me its making it up this crazy hill on my loop) which will over time (months) increase your motivation as you start to believe you can accomplish bigger and bigger tasks

The problem begins at getting out of bed and I rarely make it to eating/drinking to gain the energy to go out. I used to go out just for walking/jogging while I lived in a city but I recently moved to a very small town. One of those dead-end towns. Like so small, that all the townsfolk know each other and are kind of unfriendly to people from out of town and are sort of racist.

But I might try and do something since I've been a bit better since earlier this year.

its important this activity is a task you can get better at so you will see yourself progressing. in the end you will gain some stability discipline self worth which will in turn lead to motivation for completing other actually productive tasks

I'll try and get back into jogging or something of the like.

thats why it must be an activity that is somewhat enjoyable/distracting because its the getting out of bed thats the hardest part. if its not at least a form of escape there is literally no way you will actually get out of bed but if you know in the back of your mind if you do this activity you wont think about life for the next hour then maybe you just might be able to force yourself to get up

>be reborn
No, kid, it don't work like that. When you die, you cease to exist. Everything youve ever experienced throughout your entire life will be gone forever and you take nothing with you. This is your only shot at life, there are no do-overs.

Yeah, that's what I hope. But the problem is that we don't exactly know. It's just that off-chance.

>we don't exactly know
Yes, we do know. Has anyone you know that has died ever came to you in another form and tell you shit only you would know? No, and they never will.

it doesnt have to be physical exercise it just has to be a non destructive escape that you can get better at like learning an instrument. jogging might not be engaging enough to be a good escape plus the dread of physical activity could keep you from leaving your bed. i mountain bike and if i stop planning out my future turns for any amount of time i will crash into a tree at bout 20 mph so i have no choice but to stop thinking bout life for that 1-2 hours.

and by destructive i mean drugs. i smoke a shit ton of weed daily and its a great escape from reality and instantly stops my anxiety but it does absolutely nothing for my motivation and hurts my wallet

I'm not talking about 'Don't know about reincarnation', I'm talking about after death, specifically what happens after death.

Also, that wouldn't be how reincarnation would work. If you were reborn you could be reborn as anything, anywhere in the world. Or as another person anywhere in the world in some teachings. Plus there would be a time/age gap there.

You'd also only remember impressions of your 'hindrances' if reincarnation were true anyway. As in, you wouldn't actually remember people exactly let alone stuff about them.

So no, we don't exactly know what happens after death and that's part of why religions exist.

You cant be reborn as anything. You dont seriously think that your dead grandma was reborn as a cactus or a hamster... Thats retarded. When you die, you cease to exist. You dont reincarnate, you arent reborn as something else, you dont become a ghost, there is no continuation.

People who spout that bogus crap are scared of death, its the same as "you go to a magical gated community in the sky with jesus", religion was designed to keep people from being dicks and killing or robbing because "if you sin, you get punished by roasting in hell and the devil pokes your ass with pitchforks for eternity"... You cease to exist.

Yes I understand what you're saying. As I said, I'm an atheist. That means I don't believe in any particular religion unless there is proof of it.

And yes I know that religion was created by people to create law among people as well as give a quick and easy answer to death. I know and understand but you seem to be missing the point here.

You say it like fact but you don't actually know because you are not dead. I know you believe in eternal oblivion and that's a fair belief but I'm just keeping an open mind 'just in case' something else turns out to be true.

Of course I only think this because I have consciousness now and yes it's weird to think that after death would be lack of consciousness.

probably one of the worst posts I've ever seen on Sup Forums

>but you don't actually know because you are not dead
Again, there is nothing when you die. Tell me, do you know what it was like before you were conceived by your parents? No, you don't, because you didnt exist. When you die, you go back to not existing, and thats how I know there is nothing.

So you're saying that if we don't know something therefore it doesn't exist?

That is a pretty dim way of thinking and even close-minded.

I don't feel like getting into extensional beliefs but you can read these:

'Being and Nothingness' by Jean-Paul Sartre

'Existentialism and Humanism' by Jean-Paul Sartre

'Existing: An Introduction to Existential Thought' by Steven Luper

Probably the most immature response I have seen. Bear in mind that I'm not the poster I just so happen to find your lack of empathy and presence of ignorance disturbing.

Pretty retarded thing to say. Of course you wouldn't remember anything from before you were created, but we're not talking about before, we're talking about after. They're two completely different things and there's absolutely no way we know what happens when we die.

Why does it matter what happens, anyway? Treat life as if it's an oasis in a desert, embrace it for as long as you can because it won't last forever, and when the time comes, let it come. Don't worry about it, if we stop existing after we die then it wouldn't matter because we wouldn't know about it. The worst thing that could happen is some type of hell where you suffer for eternity, but I highly doubt that's a thing. Just live life for as long as you can, and be as happy as you can.

no, your intention and will counts while killing urself

I haven't because I'm afraid I'll fuck it up. Also I'm very effort averse and planning a painless, effective suicide properly requires a lot of effort (where guns are very hard to get legally)

Psychiatrist here.

OP, you’re pathetic, just kys already.

You're on an infinite time loop, if you kys, you'll just come right back from the beginning. I suggest you get yourself together and make life a little better every day.

Im the user from earlier,
Don't read Sarte
Read Camus
Thank me later