I figure I have only one shot at this and if I fail I'll kill myself:

I figure I have only one shot at this and if I fail I'll kill myself:

I'm 31 and I've been on a million medications for depression. I've only had two jobs in my life time, I'm overweight by probably 100 pounds, I live at home with my parents and two older siblings (both of which have addiction problems), and I see a therapist every Saturday (for almost a year now). The therapist is on the verge of giving up on me.

I've had one girlfriend, 6 years ago, for about a year and a half. I was very insecure throughout the entire relationship.

I've tried to turn my life around a few times in the past, and around age 25 I succeeded, for about a year and a half. I went to school, I lost 70 pounds, and I got the aforementioned girlfriend. I was no longer a virgin and I was somewhat happy. Unfortunately, I slowly spiraled down into a deep depression, culminating with a night where I very nearly killed myself.

Since then I've done essentially nothing.

So now I'm 100 pounds overweight again, and I'm sitting here after watching a movie I saw before I lost my virginity (one of my favorite memories), and I believe I have to try one more time.

My biggest concern is loose skin. I don't want to look deformed, knowing that every time I look in the mirror I can only thank myself. I don't think I can handle that without slowly moving toward suicide.

What are my first steps? Has anyone ever managed to permanently turn their life around?

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Asking this, on Sup Forums.

Where else should I ask? I can't think of many places that are anonymous with people up at 3 am.

honestly i'm not sure where to go

i just got off probably my 20th medication (not an exaggeration)... the psychiatrist basically told me to try medication then kicked me out for good.

so he's out... next is my therapist... then next is myself.

...

Have surgery to remove some of the skin once you’ve lost enough weight

that likely costs a ton of money

Once you reach a certain point you settle in to how you've been. Nothing is really going to be reversible. Get a different therapist. Anyone who says "at take the meds u'll get better" shouldn't be able to be a therapist. Most meds don't really "work" for the vast majority of people. I dont really got any sources so look into it but the average length of a depression or however you like to refer to it is like a year long or something without meds. So then someone is prescribed something and they take meds for a year and they're like hey look the meds worked. For the vast majority of people, commonly prescribed antibiotics depressants do nothing and for many of those people, many other things will do nothing. Meanwhile pharmacutical companies rake in profits as more and more are prescribed antibiotics depressants each day and people never truly get the help they need in any way as some are literally wanting to kill themselves. Find a therapist that doesn't just put up with people to get a paycheck.

my psychiatrist was poor no doubt, but i feel like my therapist is decent enough.

he's just been saying the same shit to me for a year now and i haven't done shit.

You can have a good therapist that just doesn't work for you. There are different styles of therapy and different people click together better.

I would try openly talking about it with your therapist, see if they think there is another option, or if they can refer you to somebody else. The goal is to help you feel better.

1. go on keto diet to lose the weight
2. eat some magic mushrooms to open your mind
3. whatever

I'm doing #1 right now. Planning on going to Cambodia for #2 pretty soon.

Lose it slow it will be fine in the skin. Talking about 1 or maybe 2lbs a week at most. Start lifting weights 2-3 days a week. Walk a lot, eat better and do cardio daily. Good luck as you get older it gets harder. Drop the soft drinks all of them.

Therapy is a way for you to figure it out. Usually you gotta do the work bro. Nothing comes without doing the work. If you go into therapy and leave without doing the homework and implementing the ideas yall talk about in there you won't be doing anything but wasting your time. Meds help but you gotta understand what they do. They aren't happy pills.

For me, mine keep me from having explosive anger or extreme happiness, they keep my emotions dampened so that I don't fly off the handle and am able to make choices and decisions based on logic and not emotion. That's how meds work for me, they're different for everyone .

Im in the same situation. I killed my self 5 days ago. Ive never felt better. Good luck OP.

how old is older though? i don't really feel all that different at 31 to be honest

i'll bring it up on saturday for sure

yeah it's my fault, i don't deny it to him or anyone else. the pills though... i get every single side effect it seems. they all break my dick or make me exhausted, or give me migraines.

Loose skin is not a today's problem. What are you doing today?

Exercise, whatever it may be, is and will always be the n°1 anti-depressant. Start there.

Trip acid, you won't regret it

it's all i can think about. it's like this wall that i can't break through... i'm so terrified of looking deformed i almost rather look just plain fat, if that makes sense.

Go to /fit/, read the sticky, maybe participle in the board.
Do Jordan Peterson's self authoring program.
You need to take complete ownership of the problems in your life.
You will make it, we want you to make it.
Godspeed brother

>Jordan Peterson's self authoring program
What's this about my good man? It looks very interesting.

Hopefully this explains it well enough.

youtu.be/RoGdMpdZXzs

It's really been helpful for me in terms of getting my life together. Theres a promo going on at the moment where you get a discount with the promo code "willink". It's cheap as hell (like $15 if I'm remembering properly) but unfortunately not free. It's not crucial but it's helped me get my life on track.

this, there's been studies about acid being used to treat depression

studies about mushrooms as well, but i don't do drugs after growing up around two junkies

I completely understand. May I ask the type of drugs they used?

My wife was plagued by panic attacks for years and 2 years out from trying mushrooms for the 1st time she hasn't had one since. Do it sensibly and you'll have a good time if nothing else.

alcohol between the two, then speed for one and coke for the other... as well as any psychedelics they could get their hands on.

currently it's just binge alcohol for one (panic attacks ended her speed addiction, amazingly) and dabs for the other.

Try mushrooms. Like the drug, psilocybin or whatever. It apparently has a 30-40% cure rate and works completely differently from most other treatments.

Makes sense. I've only tripped about 5 times, and couldn't possibly understand how bad trips happen. From my understanding, it's from not being in a familiar place, or being in a place that gives a "bad vibe," or when it worsens or reveals pre-existing disorders/conditions.

that last part is especially horrific

If you go into it worried you're more likely to have a bad experience. Start with as low a dose as possible and each time you do it slowly work your way up.

you do know "anti depressant" drugs are the root cause to most suicides and some homicides. Drs simply give you a script to shut you up, they don't truly care about you. but you can't just stop taking the drugs, you have to ween off of them very slowly or they could cause a psychotic episode.

you probably started taking them because you were anxious or nervous when you were younger, heres a news flash Everyone struggles with these feelings its called being human, so onstead of being a pussy and trying to numb everything with drugs why not step out and try? Do those things that make you scared, who gives a fuck; if your rejected move on, if it fails learn from it. this is how people grow and develope into who they are supposed to be.

also change your diet, you would not believe how a diet change can actually change your mood and clear your head, lay of the sugary shit. if you truly want to see a change then go to the extreme, stop eating fast food, stop eating bread, candy, stop drinking pop, low fat bullshit (its filled with chemicals) drink water and eat veggies, fruit and meat. (chicken and beef mostly) unless your vegan then do just veggies fruit and water.

do this for a month don't starve yourself because that only makes your body retain nutrients and water in fat cells.

this is for anyone who is struggling with weight or general health.

remember most of the first world countries are poisoned by their own greedy countries, the ones in charge of your food quality, medication quality etc they care about money not you.

keep that in mind and actually think for yourself why think (well this person went to college) so what? if the department is corrupt it doesn't matter how smart its members are, they are just as scammed as we are.

so remember, eat healthy, avoid chemicals, avoid fast food, step out afraid, theres nothing to lose really, if your willing to kill yourself what is there really to lose? step out and be confident, people judge goodrbad

interesting... i can't say i agree with all of this, since my doctors do seem to want to help outside of a select few, but that last bit about wanting to die so who cares is pretty poignant.

In clinical settings. You don't just drop acid and go on a stereotypical trip and now you're cured.

I suppose, but I never said anything about "curing." I tried to imply that tripping may help a little, but obviously won't do as good as being administered by a doctor in a clinical study.

You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you for giving up. My mother had major depressive disorder in the 70's, when the sophistication for our antidepressants was shit and she stuck it through. She had that for twelve fucking years and had to live in the hospital at times. You mean to tell me that you're just going to off yourself because you've tried a whole bunch of medications and had depression for sometime? Solid shit mate. You know, most people that experience depression don't experience the permanent type, it goes away with time and lifestyle changes. However, an interesting symptom of adhd is a sort of self hating depression. And unlike your shirty little feel sads, people with adhd have that for life. Unlike you, they hate themselves and its written into their fucking DNA that they will always hate themselves. How about people with schizophrenia who are locked in for life to experience the wonders of how fucked up your perception of reality is. Whether they like it or not they need to take antipsychotic medication just to keep voices out of their head telling them food is poison and don't trust people around them. You know, I bet if you offered to them the ability to fucking not drink, do drugs, sleep right, eat better and work out more as an actual cure, they wouldn't have a mortality rate 12 years below the average (which comes because its frequent for them to kill themselves after diagnosis because, again, unlike your shirty little sad feelings, they are stuck with their condition permanently.) At least you can get better. In fact, you did almost get better. But what stopped you? Drinking, drugs, motivation what? I hope it was some fucking awesome excuse to kill yourself over.

Yeah, I was being pedantic. It was more for OP so that they don't get their hopes up and be disappointed in the end.

I didn't think of that, thanks for giving me that perspective to view from.

well, i mean anyone who just writes a script and sends you on your way either has no idea or doesn't care. remember pharmecudical companies have been taking over the medical industry for decades. they do this by giving Doctors bonyses for "x" amount of scripts they write, its almost like police, they get tickets simply for the kick backs, its not as if they truly believe someone speeding 5 to 10 over is truly going to kill someone, accidents happen because of someone not paying attention, we are human afterall.

I believe many Drs do care, many are very intelligent individuals but they are people just like anyone else, they can be brainwashed, misinformed or corrupt just like anyone else. im not saying Doctors are bad, just that corruption always finds its way in an industry that makes billions.

My constant argument with people is why is every disease today uncurable? there hasn't been a disease or illness thats been cured in over 50 years outside of polio and small pox. but there are thousands of rediculous illnesses out there, almost everyone has some sort of illness or issue. my only conclusion to that is the food, if the food has chemicals and bi products and fillers, things used to cheapen the process it causes a lot of problems, our bodies have an amazing way to heal itself, but when being slowly poisoned weither anyone even the ones cheapening the process aren't aware of it, our bodies will shut down areas that aren't as important to protect the vitals, this can be done many ways, the body stops supplying certain nutrients or enzymes to areas that are less important, stuff like that cause minor health issues, need a medication to help with arthritus, with balding, itching all these symptoms that become different illnesses that all have an "unknown cause" my argument to that is, if you don't know the cause how do you treat it? eventually poison will cause much more serious issues after everyone else has been exhausted.

Baby steps, start with waking up at the right time. Then eating right. Developing healthy habits is a must and will take as long as it needs to take. If you can't take care of yourself how can you take care of others?

Do something that makes you better than you were. You are in competition with your fat, depressed, past self. Honestly, clean your room to start. People are right to tell you to exercise, but start with walking around the block. You have proven that you are capable of change and it can happen again right now.

dude i'm not discounting that others have it worse, but that's like saying i can't be happy because others are happier.

i've had major persistent, treatment resistant depression for as long as i can remember. it's real and it fucking sucks.

does it suck as much as other mental disorders? most assuredly not, but that doesn't mean it isn't shitty.

OP TRY THIS, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE
learn2dream market
order Iboga
do research
do it
brand new you, you will feel like you can do anything.. do your research

IBOGA, its amazing..

Holy shjt this, you need to lift some weights. There is nothing more beneficial for someone's physical and mental health than working out.

...

don't use anti depressants to kill yourself, use carbon monoxide if you can but if no then a gun, if you put the barrel in your mouth maybe you can still have an open casket.

/adv? Sup Forums has everything you need remember?

Hurr durr hurrr I can repost copypastas and slightly change it to troll people. I thought summer was over. Faggot.

and then he has less skin to stretch when he gains all that weight back.

Cant say I agree with 2 or 3, but 1 changed my life, dropped 90 pounds in 2 years with fuck all exercise, and about a million other small perks (energy better, better shits, etc)

Can’t you date another fat persons and get a job?

I've lost 65 pounds in the past 18 months and don't have any loose skin.

I know this is easy to say but you have GOT to get yourself to a gym on a daily basis. I don't care if you just walk on the treadmill for 5 minutes, just get there and do your best.

And you also have GOT to get away from your family asap

>Get a fucking job
>leave youre parents home
>work on youre body
>mindset will follow
>stop tacking this shitty medics
>get new friends and let youre old life behind you
>sucess

Absolutely foul grammar from someone that claims they know their onions.

your*