Alright Sup Forums how do we make these normies destroy their phones this time?

alright Sup Forums how do we make these normies destroy their phones this time?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=5tqH-Un9SFU
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Are people dumb enough to tie balloons to phone. Create a "first iPhone to space program/challenge"

just point out that the phone looks like it has male pattern baldness
they will think of it every time they look at it

Roll for this. Apple has issued a $120 mio to rival Googles prize.

Its industructible have people run over with their cars #Iphonexmen

Wait for a new update and say it makes it fall proof?

The display glass is so resistent, you can´t even scratch it with the tip of a kitchen knife. if any scratches, apple will refund.

kek. This has potential.

Magnets can charge new iphone x

People will probably be too wary of charging hoaxes for this to work

magnets dont damage iphones anymore

Leaving the water resistant phone submerged overnight (>12 hours) will enable the screen to unlock Touch ID directly on the screen

They have a “free-fall” secret mode, so that when they’re dropped, the phone slows itself down, as not to get cracked.

>it’s a secret because Apple doesn’t want people to not buy cases

Won't work, if they're still using the sapphire crystal shit then you'd need something that's capable of damaging a diamond surface basically.

You can clean it with with heat, so you can put it in the microwave or the oven

Jesus you are dumb.

either same fag or baiting, or a genuine retard

if its water resistant then what is the point?

don´t think so, it´s only a protective layer for every day use scenarios and not a real protection against forced mechanical damage

resistant vs proof

I think we need to stay simple. If you have to do much, they won’t buy it, and if it’s something clearly destructive, they won’t buy it. They cherish these phones more than they’ll ever cherish their families, so it has to be something simple, easy, and completely devastating to the phone.

resistant does not mean immune, look up IPxx classes, again every day use scenario like raindrops and a short spill of water and not forced dumbness

dude fooled your ass, guess plan would work on dumbasses like you

The new face recognition works for your vagina as well

We need something that offers convenience and usability while still seeming like kind of a secret and still having some interesting draw to it like an "I can impress my friends with this" kind of bullshit. Something like shine a laser into the camera to temporarily gain infrared vision because it adjusts to the light input or some bullshit, or the new sealing technology is resistant to corrosives so you can use paint thinner or mail Polish remover or whatever to clean all the bacteria and grease and finger prints off if you soak it.

Say there are layers that protect it from fire?

How about we have people damage the chargers instead? tell them that the charger is hinged and you can bend it, little metal bit that goes into phone snaps off when some morons do it with force.

Not bad, we’re getting closer

How about a motor gyroscope on the inside that will make the phone always not land on the screen?

Bullshit, I've seen how retarded kids treat their shit, they don't care because mommy can buy a new one with her lawyer job. If they think it's cool and it'll work, they'll do it.

Hahah u fucking idiot

the new screen contains thermoplastic, so if you shatter it put it in the oven and the cracks will go away

Now we’re talking, “the iPhone X now comes with a motorized gyroscope inside of it so that it always falls face up, , to protect the screen. This is a secret feature used by Apple to reduce the cost of screen replacements.”

Tell them that its fire resistant

>Something like shine a laser into the camera to temporarily gain infrared vision because it adjusts to the light input or some bullshit
Would cheap laserpointers do any real damage to the camera?

People would just test that on carpeting though

This is the kind of shit, it offers less cost for an easier and quicker solution.

It's already been done many times of course.

How about a tutorial on how to take the screen off for repairs, but we convince them that instead of unscrewing tiny screws theres a new feature to just pop the screen off, using a flathead.

I wouldn't be surprised if it does, actually.

Maybe, I've seen stage lasers fry a DSLR sensor, if you hold it long enough it should almost definitely do the job.

What about "The body of the iPhone X contains a small amount of rubber, so if you drop it on a hard surface it'll bounce"

cue vids of normies chucking their phones at concrete

We could incorporate some sort of reason that it needs to be above a hard surface for buoyancy? Some shit like that. The leveling system uses radar, and requires a dense surface? Idfk

Camera activates when fallin and scans surrounding area with uv lazers to ddetect the texture of what its about to fall on and deem it soft or not? to save battery as the motor uses up 50 percent battery or something?

we had the same fucking idea

This is all a retarded idea.

thats not a bad idea

They use a rubberized titatium Shell, do that in the event of a drop, it simply bounces right back up?

and whats your idea pal?

How about something like you can turn conventional headphones into wireless by recognizing converting "FM signals into NFC waves". Cut the cords off your headphones and tape aluminum foil to the end. Then reboot your iPhone and go to bluetooth to sync it... works only for Sony, Bose, Skullcandy and whatever the fuck common but preferably expensive brands.

that's perfect
call it the boomerang feature

The iphone has partnered up with sharpie and used a titantium alloy that can be written on with sharpie, and be easily wiped off. Use this for writing down quick notes?

That just means we have to target a younger crowd. We have to call it a "challenge" or they'll never fall for it

iBoomarang, by Apple

Not being a fucking retard.

Nah, iBounce

the boomerang challenge

You have an iPhone X, don’t you?

This sounds like some good shit, maybe make a video with a sharpie but replace the felt with a dry erase core?

"With this simple trick you can remove the black bar on the top half of your phone. Apple engineers hate this trick!"

Now, how do we "remove" the black bar. Acetone? Mechanical force? Pressure?

Oh of course, I'm an icuck AND, don't forget that I just loooove eating sweaty spic dick.

A rubberized titanium alloy that allows it to bounce & be written on, then put out a video that’s like “5 iPhone x hacks”

yes please

Can we please stop saying "normies".

So cringeworthy.

Every person is unique in one way or another.

People have a tendency to categories stuff. If you don't want to be like the average person, stop doing that and, instead, think of each person as a separate individual.

In a way, but using the word "normie", you are one.

I was thinking just the writing though, and on the screen. Some shit about a special coating and how it can capture what you write in a screenshot due to the new 3D sensors in the screen digitizer "just like how a drawing tablet works".

kys

Fucking normie
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Apples patened "Cat Reflex Technology"

Wow, what a fucking normie. So tell me, what's your favorite flavor of cock and how did you develop taste buds in your asshole?

This is really good, it fucks over peoples already fucked phones we should make a well designed image letting people know about it, tell them its a secret because this is what apple does when you pay them to repair your screen

I'm on board with this shit cause it's the most realistic and appealing idea yet.

The IPhone X can charge in the Sun because electrons, being rather less massive than protons, are more able to escape the sun as part of the solar wind.

something like this?

GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD YOU FUCKING NORMIE!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

GUYS LISTEN UP... I HAVE A PLAN...


MAKE IT A NEW SECRET GAY CODE FOR GUYS CRUISING EACH OTHER WHO WANT TO DO RANDOM GAY SEX WITH RANDOM DUDES.... LIKE IF U REMEMBER HANKY CODES... AND GAYDAR ETC...


MAKE IT A NEW GAY SLANG THING FOR CODE LIKE MAKE IT A CODE SO THAT NOW IF YOU ARE A PERSON USING AN IPHONE X PUBLICLY IT MEANS YOU ARE OPEN TO INVITING GAY CRUISE HOMOS TO DO PARK SEX WITH U

SERIOUSLY GUYS...
IPHONE X? IT MEANS U WANT SEX

MAKE THE NEW IPHONE CODE FOR A PUBLIC SYMBOL THAT YOU ARE CRUISING FOR GAY SEX ASAP

if you check your broken iphone to a samsong post they would give you a new android

kys normi

Do you really think ANYONE is going to believe this? Even retarded kids would catch on to your shit faster than flies on a farm you inbred mother-is-your-sister-too dipshit idea having autist.

Maybe make it more subtle by not mentioning the four feet or hard surface, and then dropping some fine print underneath

too similar to the microwave charging shit. anything with ovens gonna be a no go

I think we might be overthinking.

SRSLY GUYS... MAKE IT A GAY CRUISE HOOKUP SYMBOL... anytime anyone sees anyone with an iphone X its secret code for 'I WANT SEX NOW PLEASE CRUISE ME "

New titanium alloy casing and internal copper heat sinks help keep the phone from being damaged as long as you keep it turned off. Or maybe something about using boiling water.

how about "It charges faster under at least 2 inches of water"?

Rare earth magnetic speed charging hack

A good one would be to find where abouts the battery is, and then tell the retards to, on a full charge, somehow puncture the battery or something. Maybe drilling it, maybe sticking a needle in it. IDK

dubs dubs trips

kek has spoken

Kek

i added a twitter source to make it super legit

This

How aboit quick charging it on an induction cooker?

It's got inductive charging, right?

youtube.com/watch?v=5tqH-Un9SFU

Boiling water sounds good, and I honestly don't think anyone will make the connection between ovens and microwaves because people don't generally think of them as the same thing

This

Fucking perfect.

Make this

> yourscreen

That's exactly what I was thinking microwaves make fucking microwaves, ovens just heat shit up, though I'm loving that poster with using the hair drier on high.

im laughing my ass off imagining people holding a hair dryer over their phone for hours since the cracks are still there. may have the added bonus of burning the hell out of their hands too

Gorilla glass is actually resistant to all metals. This actually will work.

What will scratch GG are sand particles

Yes