Greentext the last time you had sex, no matter how mundane or beta

Greentext the last time you had sex, no matter how mundane or beta.

>feeling super horny
>try to bend her over
>she ends up giving me half hearted handjob for 5 minutes before giving up
>came on my belly

>Banging pregnant wife earlier today
>Second away from cumming in her
>First child shits nappy the smell distracts me so bad I can't cum.
>Wife runs out of the room, heaving and vomiting from smell
>Jack off to lesbian porn an hour later

Such is life

>tied down my gf to the bed
>used a vibrator on her and fucked her mouth until she came
>then she tied me down, licked my balls and sucked me good
>sat on my face for a bit
>rode me until I came inside her

On mobile don’t feel like greentext.

Friends with benefits came over around 12 am. Gave each other hickeys and general fore play
She felt my dick hard as fuck so has grabbed it gave head
Fucked
2 hours later same shit
7:30 am fucked then went to school also I’m in high school so my
Drive kinda high

>

Hello.world.jpg.I hope you all die.

Sincerely,

user

>>last Saturday
>>fucked wife standing up doggy in front of window
>>pussy was soaking
>>cum inside
>>typical weekend stuff

>at my best friends birthday party
>virgin GF
>we go into a room
>do foreplay and she sucks my dick
>shes on the bed on her hands and knee's while I finger her from the back
>put on a condom and continue to finger her
>get extra hard, decide its time
>put it in
>she instantly screams and i pull out
>blood everywhere dripping down her leg and on the condom and shit
>nasty af but im drunk asf and gotta help her
>spend rest of the night taking care of her

pretty shitty way to spend time at a party. didnt even get a nut lol.

>Early morning before work, still in bed
>Wife turns away from me, laying on her side
>I spoon her, dick between her ass cheeks (I sleep nude)
>Rock hard as soon as I touch her as usual
>Start rubbing under her loose t-shirt, first her back and then her nice tits.
>Slip my hand down her pants, under her panties and start fingering her. She reaches back and grips my rock hard dick
>She starts moaning, I lift her leg and spit on my dick, slowly slide it in.
>Gradually build up speed, left hand gripping her neck and shoulder, right hand holding her leg up. Eventually I'm ramming her full speed from behind, spoon position.
>Her breathing gets faster and faster, she's about to cum super hard. As soon as I think she's close, I let go of her leg and rub her clit pretty hard, she tenses up and lets out a loud moan. Body shaking.
>I then start fucking her super hard, can't hold out much longer.
>She's on medication for a sinus infection, which affects her birth control. So I know I have to pull out
>I feel I'm about to blow, so I pull out and cum in/on her ass.
>Both get up and get the kid ready for school and shower before work.

>Watched gf do poledancing for half hour or so while browsing and practicing card tricks
>lay on floor
>she squats on my face
>smell the vag
>boner achieved
>go to bedroom
>have wholesome, loving sex
>lie down, enjoying not being nearly as fucked up in the head as 99% of people on Sup Forums
>C'est la vie

>visiting gf at her Univsersity
>she's an RA
>she's riding me on her bed
>been going at it for about 20 minutes
>knock on the door
>remaincalm.jpg
>she gets off me and says "just a minute" before half-heartedly throwing on some booty shorts and a t-shirt
>I hide in her closet
>one of her residents is asking questions about something on campus
>asks to come in for a moment
>theplotthickens.png
>realize that closet has see-through slits
>oh fuck
>try incredibly hard to not make any noises
>hanger falls behind me
>god fucking damn it
>both of them glance over
>she definitely saw me
>gf finally kicks her out
>wait 5 minutes and go back at it
>cum on her ass and immediately start watching the new Dragonball Super episode

It was a worthwhile experience.

>strap wife naked to bed, blindfolded
>load her clit with the vibe
>her mouth with my cock
>close her up when she begs for the plug in her ass
>lube her up, stick in plug
>she moans and says that she wants the bigger one
>rub her clit with her holes all occupied until she cums
>begs for me to untie her and fuck her doggie
>undo straps, keep ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs and blindfold on
>put her on all fours, pull the vibe
>she sucks on the vibe while i fuck her from behind, ass still plugged
>she moans away until she cums hard
>close to blowing i pull the plug out and swap my cock into her ass and blow my load there
>pounding my cock in her ass and cumming she's screaming "oh fuck yea"

>whiskey dick

>be me
>22
>I was
Wait, I'm 22 right now, and I'm still a virgin shIT

>gf in highschool last week
>im a 5'11" 165 lb 18 year old senior
>shes a 5'3" 105 lb 15 sophmore
>my dick about 6.5 in long and 5.5 in circumference
>pop her cherry after school in the bathroom after basically slowly sliding her down onto it for a good 30 minutes
>give her a good fuck
>she bleeds and cries
>masturbating since i was 8 has made my endurance amazing
>i fuck her till she is sore and still dont cum
>she basically does whatever i say, plus if she didn't do what i said i would just force her to lol
>she brought lube because she was scared, and i already told her to shave her ass
>took off the condom and covered my dick with lube and took her anal virginity in the same day
>feels good man

>start talking to chick from gradnite at disneyland
>end up banging almost every other day
>be about 6 days ago
>gives me my first ever blowjob
>hear grapefruit noises
>feels like absolutely nothing even though I feel like it should
Are BJs this fucking trash or did she just suck?

>Lost my job
>have to move back home cause dad is sick and need someone to help at family store
>Depress and cry for whole week
>day before moving
>6/10 female bestie come check me up
>cry again on her breast
>start fondle her and beg for sex
>she is blush and say no
>end up let me suck her nipple
>she got feeling
>force myself on her
>end up took her virginity and anus virginity
>still chat with her, she isn't mad, just shock it turn out this way.
>will force on her again if I got the chance, no doubt

> message prostitute, 21, tall
> park at designated place across from a high school
> police show up
> oh shit
> ah, teens are on the roof of the school
> drive around the corner
> she finds me
> drive her to my place
> undress her, put her face down on my bed
> pillow under her hips
> oh god, that ass
> put on condom, slide into her pussy
> unbelievably tight and wet
> that feel of making contact with her ass on each thrust
> cum
> put on music, play halo, taking turns after every death
> drive her back

>Be living with gf at her apartment
>No sex in a fucking month
>Every time "I'm just not in the mood" or even "I'm sorry I just don't have a libido anymore"
>Fucking love her for herself but sick of proximity, it just makes it hurt more
>Grandparents ask to housesit for them
>Chance to be on my own for a little while
>Gf starts carrying on about it
>"You don't really love me if you don't want to be near me", "I can't stand when you're not near me", etc.
>Eventually relent and let her stay there with me
>Get really drunk
>She consents to sex for once

>We mutually masturbate for a while until she brings herself to orgasm
>Then I eat her out, sucking on her clit until she cums with her thighs crushing my head
>Begin fucking her, missionary, then doggy, then prone bone
>After some wild, rough, loud fucking I cum inside
>We sleep together

That was at least a month ago. Ever since it's been the same bullshit, "I don't have libido, sorry, sex isn't important though it's okay". I'm stuck thinking about the kinky shit we did when we first started dating but haven't done for years, and how I'm still young but stuck in a sexless relationship with an icy prude, and wonder how long it'll take to snap and break it off.

she's cheating on you and fear that you will do the same to her.

>took day off for weekend trip
>wife left yesterday with kids and niece
>sis in law and i driving out today
>she spends night
>nothing unusual, get ready for bed
>offer her one of kids beds or other half of mine
>she says she hates sleeping along
>both go to bed in pjs or whatever
>must have pulled together at some time over night
>half awake realize i have hand down her pants and fingering her
>pop awake and appologize
>she tells me not to stop and pushes my fingers back in
>fucked her overnight and when we woke up

...

>facefucked a prostitute on halloween
>she was dressed up as little red riding hood

This was the same shit I had with my gf. Plus that bitch has lazy and never wanted to finish me off.

She's way too much of a prude to cheat, that's one thing I'll never doubt. She was raised a hardcore Christfag and while the passion of our relationship allowed her to overcome the baggage for the first year or so of dating, the bullshit spiritual angst and whatever physical/psychological fuckup makes her hate sex has taken hold again.

She certainly is afraid I'll cheat on her but fuck if she's lost the right to be. Flat out told her I might as well, maybe it'd save her the annoyance of me trying to share some quality time with my girlfriend, heaven fucking forbid.

>be me
>wake up this am with am wood
>pinch wife's nips
>massage wifes clit
>get bj
>finish on her face

Dubs
And nice story

She just sucked. Or more accurately she didnt suck. Many women suck at bjs. If you can find a girl with a sex drive and a gay relative it helps.

>watching movie on laptop with gf
>laptop dies foreplay starts
>fuck missionary and doggy style for an hour
>don't cum because condoms suck
Was 6/10 2nd time having sex shes getting birth control soon so we can finally ditch condoms

You sure sound fed up.

Tried some casual drinking during movie times?

I'm casual drinking now, couldn't you tell

This is off-topic, but do men last longer when masturbating or having sex? Does it matter if they're really thick?

>Yesterday
>Arranged to meet this girl from Tinder that cancelled me twice.
>She sent me her perky tits, I sent her my dick.
>Said she would eat it whole.
>I was going to pick her up and come back to my place.
>She cancelled again at the last minute.
>Got angry, told her that I thought she wanted.
>Said she's not comfortable coming to my place without knowing me.
>Said that we could go to a bar instead.
>She said yes.
>Picked her up, we started to talk.
>Said that she was afraid I was a scam or pretending to be another person.
>Was relieved that I actually was, and she was too.
>Ask her if she wanted to go to my place instead of a bar.
>She said yes.
>We picked up some beers.
>Pretty cool girl, immediately kissed her getting there.
>Finished our beers and she said she wanted to come to my bedroom.
>Took her clothes off and did 69, delicious pussy and she licked like a goddess.
>Fucked her all night long. Tight pussy.
>Dropped her home and went for tacos.
>The end.

Last longer when they're having sex.

Unless they have an issue of premature ejaculation.

Personal experience anyway. Finish super fast if I'm just fapping to porn.

we live the same life. can I pour you a drink, sir?

Make it a rum, nigger

>this actually happened

Not really, watching S2 of Stranger Things and eating Toblerone here.

>be me
>dating a trap
>finally decide to take to him up on his offer and fuck him
>we start to make out
>move my hand down his pants and start fingering his ass
>eventually turn him on his back and fuck him
>whole time I was thinking "no homo"
>I finish on his back
>accidentally slip up and say "no homo out loud"
>I lose my shit and suddenly burst laughing
>he's just confused as I'm rolling on the floor naked and laughing
>I eventually pull myself together enough so I can get dressed and leave
>you could still here me laughing outside

We're still seeing each other but now he teases me and says "no homo" every time we do stuff

Regular drunk sex. But that time not even the alcohol could prevent the early nut.

Does pussy being tight have any affect on how long you last? I've got 6 inch girth so I'm kind of worried.

>3 weeks ago
>at party flirting with group of girls
>drunk as fuck
>cant even walk straight
>they take me back to their residence
>puke my guts out for 2 hours
>fall asleep in some girl's bed with her
>wake up in the morning
>flirt some more, find out shes a virgin
>start rubbing her pussy, shes wet as fuck

eskettit

>go to put the condom on
>none of them fit
some bullshit brand called lifestyle I think?
>go to fuck her raw
btw this girl was like 4'11" so she was small as fuck
>pop her cherry
"oh i think you're bleeding"
>say "uhhh I dont think thats my blood"
>continue fucking
>she looks like shes in pain but tells me to keep going
>try to get her to ride me missionary but my dick literally wont go inside of her
>shit was bending at the worst angle
>fearing my dick would break, we go back to missionary
>eventually we stop cause it hurt her too much
>didnt cum
>she made me breakfast
>got outta there, never talked to her again

3/10 experience, would not do again

oh yeah and to top it all off,

i deadass made out with this chick after I had puked and had morning breath.

tl;dr: dont have sex with virgins, its not as great as it sounds

It does.

Honestly it's a mind thing if you're a healthy male. Being worried and nervous is what causes poor performance.

Just relax my dude.

> 3 weeks back, too horny think straight
> fuck it I'm posting an ad on craigslist
> short and sweet with a dick pic
> just wanna fuck...change subject to "fuck me" so I know you're real
> typical scam/spam responses for like an hour
> finally an email with "fuck me!!" in the subject
> open to see pics of a solid 6.5 blonde.
> a bit trashy but I like trashy
> 26 yo
> not a twig but not not quite thick
> email says she could meet up tonight but can I help her out she's in a financial bind
> I'm like...how much help do you need?
> and where are you?
> like 60 miles away and 150 but she'll take 100 since I'm so far
> offers to meet me halfway and play in the car
> can't pass this up
> on the way she texts me that btw she's on the pill so no need for condoms if I don't want
> so tempting, but I already have 3 with me
> meet her at a gas station, looks like pics
> get in my SUV since tons of room with seats folded down, drive to darkest church parking lot ever seen, give her cash
> get in back, make out, she gives head, says she wants to fuck
> throw condom on and fuck
> about to blow, tell her I'm gonna blow in her mouth
> get up, take rubber off, grab her hair and fuck her face
> cum down her throat, swallows like a champ
> small talk, says her mom is watching her kid and expecting her back soon so I take her back to her car
> go home

>came over to girls house while her "roommate" wasn't home
>catch her in her pjs. she's happy to see me.
>i sit on the couch. decide to wait for the fun. like to flirt
>we sit down and talk about random boring shit
>watch a movie. one of my favs.
>goes ok. we make out in the middle.
>her turn to pick a movie.
>taking too long. stick my hand down her pants.
>play with pussy for a little while.
>she's having a hard time getting the movie to work.
>arm falls asleep.
>kneel in front of her and pull her pants off
>eat that pussy like leftovers that are going to go bad soon
>she gets the movie on.
>don't care
>continue eating pussy through the opening credits and a few scenes. lost track of time
>go to make out with her again. she undoes my belt
>rub my cock against her pussy for a few minutes while she shifts herself to try to get me inside her.
>finally let her have it.
>fuck her for a while. come inside her
missed most of the movie, but it was a good time.

>be 31
>tongue fucked a virgin 18 year old's asshole in her barnard college dorm while her roommate was asleep