I haven't shit in two days

I haven't shit in two days.
I am sitting on the toilet.
Help.

stop taking morphine and take some laxitives

Do you have either?

Smoke a cigarette.

taco bell faggot

so what? i usually don't shit for three or four days. no problem here.

I put a dip in

even if I did theres no way I can get it to you

Chek'd
Try drinking some coffee.

Sup Forumsros
>itshappening.jpg

Take some advise from a mathematician
Work it out with a pencil

cigarettes, coffee, laxatives, spicy food, food poisoning.
your choice friend

You don't drink enough water or eat enough fiber. Fix that. Go get a bottle of Citrate of Magnesium. Follow the instructions, and drink a lot of water while it's in your system. I also advise baby wipes.

Wouldn't recommend. Did this once when I was constipated and it just made me throw it all up.

I drink 95oz of water a day. I've been told to drink half my body weight in oz

i only shit like once a week ur not alone

Baby wipes are the best.

Chug a half-gallon of grape juice, and wait a couple of hours. That'll clean you out real quick.

>so what? i usually don't shit for three or four days. no problem here.
Do you only eat every three or four days? If so, then this makes sense.

what would you do if you were the girl in OPs pic?

Go outside
Find a water hose
Stick one end up your behind (I'm not kidding)
Place your mouth on the other
Succ
The vacuum will siphon you clean and you'll be good to go

Dafuq?

Unseparated Siamese twins from 3rd world shithole.

twins dont always come out as 2 separate, complete entities.
the only siamese twins you know are the ones that dare show themselves in public.
most are way too ugly for that.
the number of organs shared or duplicated is fairly random, so this guy got one head 4 legs 3 arms 3 balls 1 penis.

I use to only shit once a week, didn't know people poop more often then that.

This is comically evil.

>drink a half gallon of grape (prune) juice
I guess I did have guts

>I use to only shit once a week, didn't know people poop more often then that.
Holy shit, what......I shit once a day, and only rarely skip a day.

FUCK OFF!

Hello

I typically go 3 or 4 days before I have even a vague urge to poop.

Shdhhs

dont push
take fiber and laxatives
drink lots of water
seriously dont push
if still no poop tomorrow, its enema time

Shehjd

I for one do a good old fashioned enema when I have trouble pooping. First 2 flushings are for medical reasons but the next 4 are purely for pleasure.

thats nothing, i go weeks without shitting.

this i always have to shit after a coffee in the morning

Dulcolax. It's a tiny miracle drug. Take 3 and wait.