Stupidest shit youve done while horny

Stupidest shit youve done while horny

>fucked a girl that is well known to be one of the biggest sluts in my area without a condom
>multiple times
>came inside her multiple times
>she ended up catching feels
>I wasn't about it
>now she's a stripper making fucking bank and has multiple sugar daddies that buy her cars/apartments and shit

I walked away relatively unscathed. Genital warts appeared a while later but I can't be sure it was from her. I was reckless with sex during my late teens/early 20s. Warts went away after a while and haven't come back in years. Could've been so much worse

A solid 0,0005/10 got me drunk in jacuzzi, and where no other girls left.
So asked her, well want to do me, since I have no options?
Well some facts during:
*Pulled her pans down and biggest jungle I saw.
*Biggest fatty I saw in real life
*Most horrible blowjob, felt like sandpaper
*Kissing her reminded me of how a dog drinks water.
finished in her, grabbed clothes and walked away.

Was small island so friends knew, they good not look at my, while bursting in laughter.

literally what

Almost the stupidest thing but I ended up not doing it. Last night I heard some girl have sex and moaning so hot it almost gave me a full boner. Was kind of jealous she sounded willing to please. I was thinking about jerking off to her going at it and heard her say after. It's so cold out I wanted something warm to warm me up. Afterwards.

You type like a retarded 6 year old.

your mom

Wasn't going to do it but it sounded pretty hot and how she talked about sex. Didn't see what she looked like but at the same time I was so jealous and desperate I was going to go outside and wait till she came out and try to invite her into my room lol

>Cheated on 2 women.
>Fucked my gay friend repeatedly (and been fucked by).
>Stuck shit up my arse.
>Slept with women I shouldn't have (a few 15 year olds, mates girlfriends and ex girlfriends/sisters of good mates).

you sound like me if I was a piece of shit - you don't deserve to have friends m8

Not easy to type while drunk on phone, and greentekst fucking sucks on phone.
long story short.

Girl I fucked was so horrible, you might actually be better of doing a pig.
Friends heard story and knew her, could not look at me, without laughing at me.

fucked a 65 year old lady I met on Craigslist.

Pics

Don't have them anymore I lost them when my phone bricked. Even if I did,you wouldn't want them.

put pic related in my dickhole

Dry wrinkles hairy smelly

That guy looks very much like car designer Chip Foose.

HAHAHHAHA
>are white
>girl he fucked was his cousin indicating incest & was fat
>man who fucked the fat girl is probably 1.7 on the 1-10 scale of hotness (according to me)
>was in Alabama
I’m glad I live in the Northeast

that's about it. She had a fat ass so I was able to fuck her doggy and not lose my boner.

That guy, not having any standards at all???????

Nutted in a friend's wife. She said they had been trying to conceive with no luck and my buddy was getting bummed and not putting out.

When we hooked up I realized the condom had broken halfway in, didn't say anything and finished deeeeep in her.

Fast forwards three years later I'm still fucking her, buddy now works with me and brings my boy into work every now and then to say hi.

Nutted in a friend's wife. They had been trying to conceive with no luck and my buddy was getting bummed and not putting out.

When we hooked up I realized the condom had broken halfway in, didn't say anything and finished deeeeep in her.

Fast forwards three years later I'm still fucking her, buddy now works with me and brings my boy into work every now and then to say hi.

I fap to trap porn imagining that a trap could drain my 7 inch cock from under a desk as I look at pictures of Taylor Swift on my phone

absolutely despicable

Yes No

I tried fucking a tomato but it fell apart and I ended up jerking off with tomato guts.

I cut a hole in the butt of a stuffed monkey and lubed up the hole with lotion and fucked the monkey

Tried shoving bananas up my butt but they fell apart and got all mushy

carrots

Not the worst I've ever seen.

Cucumber works better

I agree with to use carrots but if you have a thing with bananas cut them in half to rough size of your penis and then scoop out the banana. Put the peel in the microwave for a couple seconds to have a warm feel, fuck it , cum and toss the peel in the trash. Afterward you have the scooped banana as a snack so win-win.

Cum in my sister's high heels. Blew a massive load all over them, then I realized that the shoe would absorb the cum. She noticed it. I could tell the story, if anyone wants.

Go on

Want Moar?

feels like Sup Forums would've done all kinds of stupid shit while horny..

Tell story pls

Does it end with her forcing you to dress up in her clothes?
If not, not interested.

Highly interested. Do tell, keep thread alive. Greentext plox

I do that in my sisters hair conditioner all the time, you'd think she'd notice not buying any new stuff after 6 months, but no.

>be me
>15 yo full of hormones
>fetishes for feet, high heels, and slutty looking girls
>have a 18 yo sister
>slutty looking
>always wears high heels
>beautiful feet
>sister is my dream girl
>dreaming about fucking her for 3 years
>one day she goes out with friends
>she will sleep at friend house
>parents won't came until late night
>homealone.jpg
>have an intense fap session
>edge for about 4-5 hours
>think where i should cum
>brilliantidea.gif
>decide to cum on my sister heels
>blow a massive load all over them
>shoes are made out of fabric
>begin to absorb cum
>shitshitshit.png
>immediately realize the mistake I made
>spend about 2 hours trying to clean them
>most cum goes away but cum stains are visible
>think that she won't notice
>put the shoe back in place
>2 weeks later
>she has to prepare for a birthday party
>decides to wear incriminated heels
>notices cum stains
>comes to me with heels in hand and says: "user, we need to talk. We'll do it tomorrow, after the party."
cont.

barebacked a girl multiple times who I found out was dating a homeless junky in san francisco before me. 20 years ago when aids was still a death sentence. glad i tested clean.

Sniffed my friends gf socks while I fapped like 10 times in 2 days

HURRY THE FUCK UP I GOT SHIT TO DO

Fucked my ex gf over the hood of her car on a private wooded road. Got caught by a passing driver. I came from excitement of being caught. Guy stopped his car and told us to get the fuck out. Ex gf laffed in his face calling him jealous. I was red face embarrassed but it was defiantly the best sex I ever had and I still jerk to the memory.

Staying the night on a small boat with a cabin, like a 35ft. Wife’s cute probably 19 y/o sister was on the opposite end of the boat. She was in bikini all day and had a nice body. I decided I’d jerk off in a somewhat obvious way. She got up to go to the bathroom after a while. I did too and passed her on the deck of the boat. Talked a sec, chickened out on making moves, finished jerking off in the dock bathroom.

you're from the Frisian Islands aint you?

She is my woman, she likes to swing sometimes

I swear to God you dumb cunt hurry up

>years ago
>used to be really cuddly with my sister
>progressed as far as 3rd base
>proceeded to have the most awkward family relationship of all time there after

shit was cash, but ultimately not worth it

Do you have any stories or examples of why it's awkward now? Stories preferably

hurry it the fuck up cunt
I swear on me mum's tits I'll fuk yee up

CONTINUE I'm lurking user

Chris?

HOWd it start?

>realize that I' fucked, start to think about pathetic excuses
>next day
>parents at work, me and my sister alone at house
>she starts to say: "user, I know this is a phase of your life where you jerk off all the time and gods only knows what goes in your brain in those moments, but what the fuck you were thinking when you cum on my shoes?"
>try to apologize with some shit like "I didn't have a place to cum"
>"user, I want the truth, non some stupid excuse. Why you did that?"
>went full retard and confessed everything
>said that I found her hot, especially her feet and when she wears high heels and that i wanted to fuck her
>she didn't say anything, she just went in her room
>think that i've fucked up everything and that she was mad as shit
>she come out of her room with those heels on
>"user, I want to confess, it's a bit that i also think about fucking you. Why don't we satisfy this whim?"
>instahard.jpg
>we started to underss
cont.

Lol yeah I ain't shy

...

broke into a trailer, found a bag with wet swimwear of a lady and a girl. Came in it. Left bcause I was afraid to get caught, didn't clean after myself.

dinosaur

fapped to a female skyrim character I made on my buddies Xbox. Buddy was asleep in his room, Xbox was in living room where I was "sleeping" on the couch. I can't fap the conventional way I only cum if I'm humping something like a pillow. So horny I don't even think about a clean up, I cum what feels like gallons on this decorative pillow. Fall asleep shortly afterwards. Next morning me and buddy are at kitchen table eating cereal. Buddies mom storms in "WTF is that stain on the pillow, user?" I cum clean (pun intended). I worked up tears and said I was sorry. Never allowed at buddies house again. His mom called my mom and told her the whole thing

Fake but please continue

it never came out or anything, it's just the fact that we used to hang out a lot, watch a bunch of tv shows together, have deep conversations, and afterwards it had all changed. I moved out first and I haven't even talked to her in over a year now. I really miss when we were more like best friends

dinosaurs are coming

this is fake as fuck lol

I literally just tried this yesterday. Get a banana that has a hint of green left on it. It's soft and squeezes in. You can even deepthroat it, just cut the end of it off so it's rounded and go to town. Use plenty of lube...

10/10 real story. for real guys.
but for real IDGAF, continue

this sounds like me and my step sister

>they good not look at my, while bursting in laughter

they could not look at me without bursting into laughter

More pics

a fake story is still a story so finish it

we were always pretty nonchalant about being physical, like if it was cold she would lean up against me on the couch with the blanket covering us.

after puberty I began having these more sexual feelings for her but I just repressed it for the longest time. then I was posting about it on Sup Forums and certain fucking shit posters convinced me it was a good idea to make a move, that I should suggest we start watching spartacus because of the sex scene in it

I get super horny at night and my wife hasn't put out in a while. Can't even remember the last time we had sex so I started a FWB relationship with a guy like 20min away. He's married and in the same place. We avoid each other and vowed to not go to the same towns.

My favorite scenario is being restrained and having his cock forced down my throat. He can hold it there for about 20 seconds at a time. The first time we did it he only lasted like 5 rounds of that before he came. We're up to 30 min sessions and he found out how to make me cum via anal. It's the best thing that could've ever happened.

fake but i want more

>really horny in the middle of class
>ask to go to the washroom
>teacher says be quick
>walks into washroom
>its full of about 4 guys
>gets into stall
>opens pornhub
>opens random video
>girl starts moaning immediatly
>tfw no headphones
>tfw volume was max

what a faggot lol

No

were you gang raped?

Damn skippy. Only muscly guys that are masculine though.

Did you kiss her or something?
What made things go beyond cuddling?

Nope. Not Chris... But wtf, there are more people that do this shit?

I let a hooker force me to take her dick after i fucked her, wasnt ready but i let her do it because she was so sexy but dick was thick and hurt for the first min or so.

So how did it all end? Did you still do things with her up until you moved out? Was there any sad, final sexy times or anything?

Lol not your boy. But keep pretending your life isnt actually meaningless and you failed at the only job you are put on this planet to do.

>هار

You get warts even with condom so no prob.

no, I awkwardly waited for about 10 minutes until they left the bathroom. went back to class and got in trouble for being in there too long. feelsbadman

Dude. You're pathetic. I see you here pushing this chick all the time. I've also seen everyone tell you she's fugly. You need to get out more, man.

>she starts blowing me while I masturbate her
>go to bedroom and do a 69
>shitfeelsgood.jpg
>blow a massive load i her moth
>"You came a lot, but you were quick, user"
>apologize and explain it's my first time
>"Next time you will last longer"
>meanwhile I continue to lick her pussy
>she enjoys it, so I go on
>we both notice that my cock didn't go limp
>she starts to blow it again
>after a bit she cums all over my face
>she grabs my dick and puts it in her pussy
>ohmygod.png
>we fuck for a while, she cums again
>she dismounts my cock and starts giving me a footjob
>"This is what you wanted, I hope it feels good"
>I cum all over her feet after 30 seconds
>she says: "I don't know if you are really good or if it' the taboo, but i never enjoyed fucking so much"
>ask her if there will be more "sessions"
>"If it feels so good, there will be many more"
To this day, sometimes, we still have a nice "session".

>complete complex anal sphincter disruption
Most expensive whore I ever paid for.

6/10, last line ruined the magic bro

i mean.. ok.

basically she was leaning against me during the sex scene and felt my boner so she said "uhh, maybe I should sit over there..." and I kinda awkwardly laughed and apologized, to which she said "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, I just assumed having your sister right in front of you would be a deterrent" and without thinking at all I said "not as much as you'd think"

>mfw do a 69
>mfw load I her moth
>mfw "if it feels so good, there will be many more"

What did she do/say after you said not as much as you'd think???

There is nothing new, if you can think of it, some maniac has already made a fuckin career out of it somewhere.

That anal backlash shit worries me, i would like to find a chick qith an 8 inch max penis with low girth.

Im not a size queen. When i was younf i had to get anal warts removed, fun having the family doctor ask me if i was gay.... had to have them surgically removed.

first time i fapped i nutted all over my couch wich left permament stains t was only after that i learned to keep a tissue around to catch my load

...

This SO much.

this was one of the worst stories ive read on Sup Forums and thats saying a lot