Be me 18y second time prison for drugs

>be me 18y second time prison for drugs
>come out get the news that my girlfriend cheated on me with 5 guys
>have no where to go my mother doesnt want me in the house and have no one to call a real friend
>be the biggest beta pussy ass fag and do the dumbest shit ever: forgive
>one guy lets call him Bitch gives me speed
>get addicted bcus was speed dealer and have multiple kilos
>some months later ex slut left me becausr of my addiction
>have a suicidal friend lets call him Pussy
>Pussy is despereta for pussy and has also gf who he forgave for cheating on him
>one time walk in on Pussy slittin his wrists
>talk him out of it
>meet dealer guy become friends
>do insane shit from beating people shitless to break into houses and selling dope
>i was mad and depressed
>we had one plan to invade a house and take some drugs from one crazy milf
>Pussy tells our plans to the milf to get a chance for pussy
>break Pussys ribs
>get no satisfaction from it everything feels empty
>was at that time out of house and lived with Bitch
>the dealer guy gave me connection to buy drugs in big amounts
>call them
>they get in our house with guns and take everything
>Im worried police cant be called because just some months ago i was on parol
>Bitch calls the police tells me "it were your friends i dont care what happen to you" and demands that i pay him for the stolen stuff
>lol nope gtf
>never hear something from him again
>move back into home
> parents don't know anything what happend
>try searching for work
>start doing my best
>never enough for mom
>she kicks me out
>depressed again but not going back to drugs
>my only bro told me i could stay at his house
>did for a couple of months working to get a place on my own
>decide to visit home
>shit looks like ww3 see sister she hadn't had a wash in weeks
>decide to go back and give the money for my own place to mom so she could pay bills

Should i keep going? Idk kinda depressed right now and have nobody to tell about pic unrelated ofc

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go on
you have summoned me, I am here for you

this is going to sound stupid but as long as your alive make the best out of your life. If you kill yourself your missing out on everything you could have done. Try your best to fix yourself and if its that painful to be around your family try moving to a place where the cost of living is cheap and just start over.

Your life is shit. You're a huge piece of shit.

Tl;dr. But going by your first sentence I'm assuming you're a dick.

> go back home
> start working two jobs and going to school every monday and wednesday
>have no time for myself
>every week from thursday six in the mornibg till saturday six in yhe morning stayin awake (yes i did 48 hours working without sleep)
>tryin to get out of my debt
>give half of my paycheck to mom
>she starts demanding more
>parents relation was never stable
>dad moves to his homecountry we stay in europe
>2months later dad gets to know from doctors that he only has 3 mobths to live
>feels bad.
>mother always poisoned my mind tellin me he was a bad guy
>dad was a bro
>i realized is as i started working
>had to start giving away everything i had
>did it but told her as long as she also pays my bills
>she agrees
>half year later into my lifeless working time
>in that half year my mother sucked every life out of me
>"you dont do nothing, i need more money. Why do i have to do everything"
>every fucking day for a half year
>shit went so bad i thought i had schizophrenia

what country?
Well you must realize, that even though the person is a family, you may need to just let go of them, because they are toxic.
You wont be able to help her, because she doesnt want help, you will have to choose, to sacrifice your own life for her or just let her go.
always remember, every person who is in a bad or good situation is worth it.
Your mother for thinking and acting the way she is, you are worht it to be in this situation, because you chose to help a person and be "weak", weak in the idealogy of a capitalistic heartless world.

Let yourself go, have no boundaries, start living your own life.
Neverthless how crazy or stupid thought you have, just do them.
Because in the end, your mother shouldnt be living your life or dictate how to live it, I have no permission or authority to manipulate or change your life course, only yourself you have the power, the only limit in your life and prison is your own brain, only through your own head, you are making your life a small prison cell.
Just do what your heart tells you, neverthless how scary it might be, but it will be your life, you must be the captain of your soul.

>can't take it anymore
>i thought i went back home to change my mom and make her better but only made myself worse
>leave house go back to friend
>start couchsurfin
>month later go back home to check if everytgings is alright
>get billls shoved into my face
>bills that my mom should have had payed
>my debt increased
>feel betrayed as fuck but don't know how to feel bcuz she was my own mother
>ask her where the money went
>"you never gave me money you only spend your money one drugs"
>was clean for a year atm
>leave house time to choose for myself
>get fired
>fuck no job
>no home
>still not going back to the drug live
>start couch surfin fron friend to friend and some times sleeping on the streets
>sudden realisation: in my half year of working i made friends with some good people
>friends care more about me than my owm family
>but cant live at friends forever
>get a new job but its a half hour on the train
>sometimes sleep on the streets and go to new job

Sorry about your situation, man. But I'm facing jail time and I'm wondering what it's like. How much time have you done and what was it like?

Not op, but I just did 11 months last year.

How was it? Any tips?

In two weeks i wilk have my own house.
Right now i lied to almost evryone of my friends that i have a place to stay cause i dont want them to worry.
They helped me enough.
I dont know what to do with my mom.
Im on the streets right know and its 02:00 i have to work in some hours.
Idk i just wanted to let this out.
If i would tell the full story i would be typing for days.
There is so much more but this was the most important stuff i think.
I have two sisters they're still at home i dont want to leave them behind...

Some questions: what did you do?
Are you religious? Age? And what do you think that you will lose? (job? Family relations?)

You work hard enough Sup Forumsrother and i know it doesnt mean shit coming from an user fag like me but I believe the good will overcome the bad in due time.. Ive slept on the streets for nights and been through horrible times in my life but if you change it even if its the littlest thing.. It will forever start the domino effect on things to concurrently get better

>i want yall opinion, am i a bad person? And how can i help myself...
Also I think that my issues also started from the time that my parents liked to beat me sensless and then tell that it was the will of God...
I lost my faith...
I hate church... Just wanted to add this...

>
i had a somewhat similar life but in my case i ended up renting a room in the house of an 85 year old lady (she cooks i do garden work but the since the bad parts are about done all thats left is convincing your brain that it's all gone i'm really glad i saw your story just so i can share with you a video that changed my life
youtube.com/watch?v=GtkST5-ZFHw

>Girlfriend cheated with five guys

jeez OP don't be so judgmental. just because she's fat now doesn't mean you have to be an ass about it.

>lel

Possession with intent: meth.
I'm 20, non religious, and I am worried about my job considering I've busted my ass to get where I'm at now.

I meant that she fucked five dudes whn i was in jail (i kekd tho)

Are you an immigrant? It's important cause racism in the justice system exists everywhere across the globe and does the judge not care about you losing your job? Like what is it gonna help you going to jail... Have you tried giving this approach to the judge

Thank you. That was one of the hardest realisations in my life that i wasn't the one who was ruining my life but that my mother had a big role in it too...

Hmm domino effect kinda hope that it will happen. I never had everything 100 in my life and sometimes i feel like it will never happen

>user literally robs people for drug money
>you retards actually feel sorry for him
Are you fucking serious?

Never did something bad to someone that didn't deserve it.

You're trying to change your life OP. You are not inherently a bad person just because you did some things that were wrong.
As Im reading how hard you're trying and willing to change your life for the better I'd say you're a better person than most people.
Just start choosing for yourself instead of your mom who obviously used you.
Maybe seek help with social services untill you get your life back on track?
And indeed, never fall back into the drug life, it will be your end.

Good luck OP

Thank you, i already did reach out a social service that just gives advice not help. I dont want to go to the homeless shelter because that could get me in contact with drug people and i dont want that

Good on you. Take care of yourself. If you're a mess, you can't help others.
Sounds like you're doing great staying away from the drugs. If true, is your sister old enough to leave home and stay with you? Sounds like you're doing better than your Mom.