Weirdest thing you have ever done?

Weirdest thing you have ever done?

spend too much time here

furchan is cool wa chu mean

Forgot to get ketchup for my fries at Burger King

Posted on a “weirdest thing you’ve ever done thread” even tho OP didn’t follow up with a weird story.

Fucked my mom on Christmas in her closet while the whole family was downstairs

Never looked her in the face (doggy) never spoke of it, never even acknowledged it happened.

Also fucked my gay Roomate one night. 1st and only gay experience. It was okay

cum in my moms food whenever i can , 1.5yrs more or less

Fucked my 15yr old daughter, got caught, 5 yrs hard time.

I died for a little bit during a stroke and got to see behind the curtain. We are not alone. Ever. You people have no clue what is going on. If you did this place would not exist.

And you didn’t get murdered or sliced up real nice? I hear a lot of kiddy diddlers end up dead in prison as most people in the pin have been diddled themselves. Hence their overall lack of coping skills in civilized society.

threw a pinecone

Faggot

My girlfriend's Dad us a dick and an alcoholic so I jerked off in his bottle of whisky. Didnt see him drink it but I know damn well he does

>died a little

Yeah man, I’m sure you really have this shit figured out. You should probably focus on staying away from drugs and shitty food as that probably lead you to your stroke in the first place.

Eat corpse flesh
Go Vegan !

green text user
cmon now

i masturbated once

Green text plz. For science

I was once working with actor Will smith when I was 14. He made andvances towards me even tho I was a minor. I’m 24 and have been scared to come out about it. Should I Sup Forums? The financial compensation will help sure, but I’ve had this weight on my shoulders for years now. I don’t think I’ll have piece until I come out to the public about it.

post tits

go for it hollywood is already burning up

Post cock.

OP Here, when i was a kid and i discovered masturbation and i was kinda addicted to it. and i once masturbated while watching a movie with my family cause the woman of the movie was hot and no one noticed cause i had a blanket covering me lol.

I have multiple "strange" habits.
The first one is that i put a small bell in my washing machine, so when it runs, i'll sit in front of it listening to the bell. Mostly do it the 2:45 program because longer or shorter isn't that fulfilling

If you want to hear more about this or some other habits of mine, just ask

No, the stories you hear about how bad prison is aren't true, at least not in the UK.

Yes I was abused myself in the church but that was not the reasoning behind why I did what I did.

Not going to happen, my individual case was very strange and unique and I owe it to my victim not to spread that shit in great detail on this hell hole.

Do you do it high or just as a normal thing.

That sounds terribly annoying to the other apartment dwellers. I assume you live in an appartment.

I purposely destroy my body with terrible food, alcohol, drugs etc. not because it feels good or that I’m addicted. It’s because the terrible shits i take. I have addicted myself to medically concerning shits and the smells they create. I live to shit. People that have smelled my shits have gagged and seriously told me I need to see a doctor.

You could have just said you were from the UK. I assume prison there is a piece of cake due to the lack of niggers. You get locked up in the us for diddling kids, they’ll slice your balls off with a rusty screw and leave you to bleed to death.

I dont smoke or drink. Again, i have different things to please me than that

Live in a normal house so it's completely okay.

big if true

Total faggotry user. You know how this "hell hole" works right? That's the stupidest cop out ever.

Which one

You absolute psycho.

Also, checked.

both

You put a bell in a washing machine to hear it.
Something that is full of water spinning around fast forcing the clothes and everything inside to the drum and loud, But you can somehow hear a bell inside.

Please tell me how you accomplished this.

I fucked a Yop bottle once.

ate a bowl of nails.
WITHOUT MILK

he's black so they'll just call you an intoleran t bigot if its true

Got a job.

You are correct. I put one or multple bells in a washing machine, close the water tight door, let it spin, let it fill with water and spin again.
Don't ask me how, but yes. I do hear it.

The absolute madman!

Responded to a Craig's list add from a guy that wanted his wife "bred".

Took several emails before I was convinced it was legit, but ended up meeting them at a hotel. The guy didn't watch or anything, went out to grab us supper and I fucked his wife twice, dumping both loads in her snatch.

Part of deal was I never contact them again... so I may have a Son/Daughter that I have no idea about.

i once masturbated while sniffing my aunt's bra and put some of the cum on it. shame i couldnt find her panties. i was 17 and she was 34

was she hot?

Okay another question. Do you do this with clothes in or just the water and bells, Because if you do it with clothes in i have a hard time believing you can hear the bell. It would just get compressed against the clothes and drum unable to make any sound.

>be 22 home from school
>my aunt and younger cousins are in town
>mom isn’t hot, preatty regular middle aged woman
>kids go to bed, mom asks for help getting Santa clause presents from in her closet
>dad and uncle and aunt do all the cookies and shit and get other presents from the garage
> go upstairs
>mom bends down and stretches under her clothing rack and starts sliding presents out
>her ass is popped up as she is on all fours
>she is in a black skirt and like leggings or pantyhose or whatever that shit is
>skirt rides up so you can see her cameltoe a bit
>I’m kneeling behind her, a little tipsy
>without think t I just reach out and grab her are
>mom br athe in “user”
>put both hands on her ass, she groans in approval
> sex brain takes over, rapidly getting hard
> pull her skirt up, begin I peel leggings down.
>”user what are you... are you...? “
>naked pussy and ass in front of me
> unbuckle my pants
>mom is just heavy sex breathing muttering my bam
>stick a mommy fingers in he She is soaking
>get behind and slide my dick in
> omg user... oh my god
> fuck like a furious 12 year old
>get up on my feet and just pile drive while staring at my moms asshole
>jackhammer for like 35 seconds reach down and push the back of moms face into the carpet and cum
>grab like 3 presents, pull my pants up and leave

She came down like 5 minutes later in pajamas

We never said anything about it

Gay story next

I like how you refer to her as your victim and not your daughter. kek.
do you have any contact with her at all?
how do you hold down a job? do other people you interact with on a daily basis know about it

I raped a girl once

Not hot, but decently in shape, a bit plain I guess. Nice perky tits. was decent in bed but insisted I finish with her on back and pillow under ass...

Obviously you don't put clothing in it. Plus the slits in the bell might be able to ruin your items.

Just put them in and sit on the floor is how you do it.

I once completely pissed myself in work. It wasn't an accident I just decided to piss myself. A very weird experience. Poured some apple syrup to cover the piss smell. Also pissed the forklift in the warehouse where I was sitting. I changed the forklift and resumed work for another 4 hours.

aw cmon man. its a shitty enough job to drive a forklift all day. some nigga sat in that shit.

fucked up man

that's hot

No, that’s not “completely okay”. It’s not illegal. You should just say, “it’s not illegal” from now on. That shit is fucked weird.

greentext

Made a vid of my anus and jerked off to it

>have a gay Roomate
>he’s a cool guy
> one night I’m drunk passed or on the couch in gym shorts
>wake up maybe 2 am with a naked ass and back above me
>okay ass tbhq fam
>he’s rubbing his naked ass on my dick through my pants squatting over me
>I mutter wtf??
>gay Roomate looks over his shoulder at me and smiles
>reaches down and pulls down my pants
>I don’t know why but I just let him do it
>he reaches back and gives me a few strokes
>lines my mostly hard dick to his asshole and lowers himself on it
>slides in pretty easy
> feels good man
>fuck his ass
> he finishes by sucking me off

The next day he asks me if I want to fuck more, i tell him it was fine but I’m not into dudes really. He was cool about it.

I asked him if he had lubbed up because it was easy, he said yes and he had done this before we had a laugh about him basically raping straight dudes

I once had consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreating

it was too much urine, we talked about it the next day, reportedly it took hours to clean up. every single hole in the forklift was filled up also the floors and I didn't help that I moved the vehicle across the section dragging the piss behind it

Not really sure.
Some people like to look at the ocean and listen to it. In my opinion that is much wierder. Also more repetitive.

Its just one of my different hobbies i guess

why tho

>not asking for fries topped with big king sauce.

I went into a Buc-ees and soaked the 4 toilet paper dispensers with piss in the handicap stall.

...

But you're just wasting water now and your utility bill is suffering because of it.

>did he get jiggy with it?

I'm not currently doing it anymore since i droped it somewhere in my mushroom towels and cant find it, so it's all good

>be me
>18 y/o beta faggot
>see 17 y/o girl from school I graduated from
>qtpi.jpg
>ask her if she wants to go out some time
>"sure user"
>go see movie
>Thor: Ragnorok
>movie ends
>go to beach to watch sunset
>she leans against me
>kiss
>she starts rubbing my inner thighs
>ofukihaveboner.jpg
>gotta do something
>stick my finger in her belly button for ten seconds
>raped.jpg

>be me
>16
>take shits on paper plates
>toss shits in backyard
>dad finds said shits
>thinks its the neighbors

>we had a laugh about him basically raping straight dudes

>laugh about him basically raping straight dudes

>my mushroom towels
I get it now, Your getting high on shrooms and playing with a bell.

>we had a laugh about him basically raping straight dudes

>getting high on shrooms and playing with a bell.
god i wish my life wasn't so shitty.

Don't do drugs. Never really tried.
You know what i mean. When you keep clothing in the bathroom and they grow mushrooms.

>they grow mushrooms.
whoa what
how the fuck does that happen

Don't mess with bird crew.

...

Not like these, just white flat ones

>I don't clean or even move things for weeks or months at a time
Whew lad folks

No, No i don't know what you mean. But it sounds like you might be getting high from the spores.

idk I've done some pretty weird shit

i held a thing of marajuana one time. my heart as pounding and i had trouble going to sleep for weeks.

you never seen the guy who had a mushroom growing from his jizz rag

Don't mind them. Excespt when you lose stuff in them
Don't think so. I have other habits too that have been called weird before. They don't include the bathroom

that's the one

>I owe it to my victim to not spread blah blah blah

Really dude? Glad you aren't going to spread info, but those morals are transparent. You are the worst and will always be the worst after you rape a child, let alone your child.

Like i said, my mushrooms are more normal than these.

>calling your daughter your victim

Hot tbhq

> be 14
> froze water in glass gerbil waterer
> fucking my ass while jacking
> pulling it completely out and jambing it back in
> temperature difference makes glass crack
> slice open anus
> hurts like a motherfucker
> bleed a lot
> stuff a rag part way in my ass with polysporin on it
> takes weeks to "heal"
> neverhealedright.jpg
> been fifteen years..
> my shits come out looking like teardrop extrusions
> anus didn't heal in circular shape
> mfw I like anus stuff..vut my girlfriend will never touch it because I'm ashamed to explain it's misshapened appearance

Pics or it didn't happen.

>Be Me
>Little Big Boy before body changes
>Can’t make cummies and don’t have then nonexistent FNAF SFM to feel tingly
>Discover stange feeling while cleaning my Bellybutton
>Powerful new tingles all down my shingles and into my no-no zone
>Run to bathroom cuby for more body exploring
>Begin to work my little piggy bellybutty like I’m trying to reach stuck chips out of a vending machine
>No-no zone has become like daddy stiffy
>Treat my no-no stiffy like a hockey sticky and slap things into the goal zone
>I get bored with my stiffy stick slapping and go back to bellybutton shenanigans
>Feel the tinglies
>I suddenly need to make peepee
>Can’t because my wee-wee is still steely
>Stand over the potty with a twitching little stiffy pushing with all my might
>I pop a blood vessel and the ouchies makes me wee-wee soft
>I make peepee and go have tendies
>Continue doing this every day for a week and a half
>Momy gets worried ice cream men take me to the pillow room place
>Go home after body changes
>Forget about bellybutton tingles

There is no way you can slice uou sphincter open and not go to thb hospital for it

...

I once had sex with a girl without a sever deformity that caused a hole in her body where it shouldn't be who insisted I stick my jimmy joe johnson in that hole. Felt really good but it was gross to look at

Girlfriend passes out while we are fucking... for some reason this pisses me off.

I go wake up my roommate and tell him to fuck her, keep goading him to fuck her harder... fucks her like rag doll.

Cums in her (she always made me wear condom)

I finish by cumming all over her face and hair...

By next morning I feel guilty as fuck, swear roommate to secrecy and never tell her.

No

If you want to know about some other habits, just ask

C'mon then, tell us all about your weird hobbies