Im currently writing my suicide letter to the girl i love

im currently writing my suicide letter to the girl i love.
idk why im posting this i just need to tell someone.
i wasnt meant for this world, she was the only thing that gave me any hope or purpose and now thats gone
im so scared to die, i dont want to hurt. i dont know what to do yet. im scared of what does or doesnt happen afterwards

none of it is coming out right, the words all look and sound stupid. i dont know how to put my thoughts and feelings into text and im so conscious of the fact that this will be her last memory of me and i need to get every work right

Godspeed user, become An hero

is any one there

If you hadn't seen my post the you must really have a reason to die Sup Forumsrother

where can i get carbon monoxide appart from car exhaust

my interet is slow af, it appeard right as i posted it

Just fucking sort yourself out you coward. Suicide's too easy a way out.

If you kill yourself don't involve others in it you'll make their life miserable if they cared for you. It wouldn't be romantic or whatever the hell you imagine it would be. You'd end up shitting yourself before somebody gets a really bad day finding your rotting carcass.

Grab your money, get a flight to somewhere you've never been and can be understood by locals, live in hostels, go to bars, try new things.

don’t kill yourself over a girl dude you have family and people who care about you whether you realize it or not

You are killing yourself because of a girl? Seriously? I mean really? How old are you? You are literally to kill yourself for a girls attention.

>This
Suicide's for pussies, ask out your Lucy, because trust me, these roasties don't give a damn about any of us, so if she doesn't go along with it then nothing of value was lost

In the 1/1,000,000 chance this isn't bait, don't do it.

You realise that by killing yourself and writing a suicide letter to this girl you will be mentally scarring her for life. If you love her, why would you want to drag her down to the levels of despair you are currently experiencing.

It's hard as hell but if she doesn't love you back, move on and live your life. Don't be a dick.

You are loved foolish one

i dont really fucking care tbh mate. iv felt like this all of my life. iv never wanted to be alive even when i was a little kid. and now i cant be with my girl any more, she was everyting to me, the only thing keeping me here. all u fags will give me shit for it but i dont think you understand just how fucking deep the love is. theres no point in me being here anymore i cant take the pain and im a burden on society.

im not involving anyone else, i dont have friends, my family are fairly didtant, tbh it feels like they already think im dead. im so empty and it shows, i doubt theyd be supprised when they find out.
i have someone that will take care of things after its done eg. call an ambulance, so i wont make too much of a mess rotting for months or anything.

i have £200. and no passport. so, nice idea but not gonna happen.

And she doesn't give a shit. Whatever the size of the show you make she won't care.

not just becuase of her, but its a large contributing factor. im 21.

Wear an it's okay to be white T-shirt to a black neighborhood at night. At least accomplish something with your death. The media shitstorm from a bunch of dindoos stomping you to death would be amazing.

iv been with her for 4 years. we were eachothers first everyhting.
for atleast the past year its been hell, i cant even describe to you what shes done to me becasue it doesnt fit any description of common human behaviour. but the mind games shes played with me have been the worst pain i can imagine. and its not easy like "oh ok well she doesnt care then" becasue she does. she loves me and hates me at the same time and i cant cope with it anymore.
i dont really blame her entirely, im not sure shes all there, its like shes missing certain parts of her concience and doesnt know how to conform to normal social models. eg, dont cheat when you love somone. its like she has love autism lol. she genuinely does love me and is sorry and doesnt want anyone else but at the same time she cant stop the lying and head games and manipulation

good. nothing else has ever got through to her how much i care and how much shes hurting me.
you cant imagine how much pain shes put me through.
i know its rough but shell get over it eventually

Dude killing yourself is selfish as fuck. That's not a problem per se, it's your life. But if you are going to kill yourself like a selfish cunt, just die alone. For yourself by yourself. Don't drag people along with your selfish bullshit. It's your decision. Yours along.

Have you tried maybe selling all your possessions, and moving to a third world country and travelling? If you want to die why not do something exciting. You literally have nothing to loose

yes, but i still need to say goodbye to her and let her know how much she means to me and how i wish things had been different and appologise for a few things

only posession of value i have is the laptop im using right now, its a 2013 MBA, doubt its worth all that much now.
iv thought about what youre saying for a long time before, but i just dont have the motivation, i never have, its just empty sadness, i have so many dreams but no way to do anything about them, my body wont let itself, i cant tear myself free from this feeling

i just dont understand. she treats me like shit, and then uses my reaction to her treating me like shit, to treat me like shit again.
over and over and over.
she never takes responsibility or owns up to anything. shes hurt me so much

Then a large portion of why you want to die is irrelevant. It's not about her in reality; It's about you not being able to cope with loneliness and rejection. I've been through that at 21 too. Holy shit it felt like the end of the world. It was in a way. Im 25 now. I haven't thought about her in more than a year. Time really heals all.

“My Lucy, You’ve never met me before but I’ve been calling you my girlfriend for some time now. I wanted to tell you I’ve been cumming in your milk, hair, shampoo and In your panties. That rancid smell? That’s me. Let it soak in to every fiber of your being. I’m killing myself now because I can’t bear the thought of you washing it off or saying “eww gross.””
~faggot user

Hate filled

I have honestly been through it.

You clearly don't love her, you've just become obsessed with her. Big difference. Since you don't love her, she's really not throwing away your potentially awesome life over.

If you're just wanting to be a petty shit and get back at her, just do things to fuck with her until you get a sense of closure and then get back on track with your life.

You feel like shit now but honestly, this experience will help you grow as a person. You get to look back and think, "fuck, I am never allowing myself to feel that low again. It's not worth it."

Pounds eh? Then catch a fucking bus to the Scottish highlands and either start a new, simple life or die alone in the hills

Addicted you are. Like beaten women. She's A problem but like heroin you are the one that's dependant. The hero that saves the lady. You cant save her. She needs help as much as you do.

if you don't want to hurt then don't commit

Sounds like you WANT her to be your dream girl but the truth is, she's a fucking bitch. Cut her out of your life NOW.

4 days ago we agreed to not see or talk to eachother for a while (but still stay together) becasue i couldnt take any more of how she was treating me and she didnt seem sorry even though she said she was and she fucked up again like some guy messaged her on instagram being all creepy about her feet and she engaged him in conversation instead of immediatly blocking him. i i said she needs to go away and figue out if shes actually sorry and why she keeps treating me like this and if she actually loves me, and it was al kinda positive and on good terms.
feeling like, yeah, ok, cool, shes got some time, shell figure her shit out, come back, be sorry, and well be great again.
but the other day she signed up for tinder and i have her fb password that she gave to me, so i can log into her tinder, and shes talking to this guy and its pretty clear shes gonna fall in love with him if she hasnt allready. hes everything shes into. hes basically me but older and better and richer and new. so i messaged her tonight replying to her begging to see me the other day (which i ignored bc we were meant to not be having contact for a bit) and said ok lets meet i miss you too, then she replied saying no, kept refusing to see me, being really distant, and i asked her if she loved me still cos i need to know and i cant take this anymore its been like this for years and if she still wanted me and she wouldnt answer and i asked over and over and she just got angry about other things/destracing from it and then finally cos she got upset and she broke her cold frount becasue she heard me screaming/crying becasue i was in a field near her house cos was asking her to come see me which she wouldnt for hours while i was standing in the rain. she got too upset and just said yes i love you and still want you but it cant be true, she wouldnt do this if she did, she wouldnt avioid it, i cant live like this anymore.

Bingo! Dependant and obsessed.

Nobody was 'meant' for this world. There's not some destiny written out for each person and yours hasn't been written, we all start with blank pages. Don't throw the notebook away without at least trying to write a story for yourself.

Look at yourself. You need that crack!!! Holy shit that 30 seconds when it hits you DAMN IT FEELS GOOD!!! The other 23h59 and 30 seconds you are on your swimming through trash but that's allright because DAMN WHEN IT CLICKS ITS SOOO GOOOOOOD!!!!

What? Did she reject your advance after years of Friend Zone Fun?
Time for you to wise up. There are girls everywhere. Find one. Do not enter the Friend Zone. Not even once. If you want her, tell her. If she says fuck off, Repeat.

but it is the end of the world. i dont want anyone else. i never will. ill never feel what i felt with her.

Dump her. Lots of people form relationships only to find out the person they fell for isn't actually all that.

She's playing you for a mug mate and has you jumping through hoops. Message her, forget the soppy passive aggression, just a very simple, "this isn't working. It's time for us both to move on."

It'll hurt for a while, go for a few reckless nights out with friends (or binge on vidya if that's more your style) until you can come around to the idea that you did the right thing.

She's stringing you along, a quick snip with the scissors and you can walk away.

You'll never feel what you did with her, true. But you will feel something different with other girls in the future and it'll also be good.

Find someone who respects you but most importantly, respect yourself.

Fuck this maudlin bullshit.
You will find another one.
You will be happy again.

This and there are a fucktonne of things besides love that can make a person happy.

Read that to yourself again and again and again. Why do you keep going? What's good in that? You are at the point where you want to kill yourself. It's like watching the same shit movie again and again and making yourself sick because it doesn't change...

iv tired before. we always end up sucking eachother back. every time its like this is the last time its never been this bad before i cant see up coming through this, and then we end up back together. nothing can fill the gaping hole we leave in eachother, no one can understand how close we are and how much we mean to eachother but its like shes broken, she doenst really mean this, but i dont know how to fix her.
i think this really is the last time though. its never been this bad before. she cares less and less every time and it seems like shes already found someone

I know this is Sup Forums and there's plenty edgelords who would call you a faggot but honestly, these moments of weakness are nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help someimes, even if it's just an outsider looking in and seeing that you're being played as a fool by this girl.

Suicide takes more courage than living faggot. You literally have to figh against your primal instincts of survival.

This is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen on /b.
I tip my welding helmet to you, user.

you're gonna die anyway just make the most of life before you do why rush it. if life sucks just live it shitty until you die - or make it better whatever why tf would you rush eternity tho lets rock and roll as humans for a lil bit. P.S. dying is painful af don't do it. we live in a world where you can fuck a hooker on demand

You get that you are like the 5th guy to post that he's gonna kill himself in the last 2 hours right?

oh, well :p more proof that love sends you into inevitable sadness, meow.

but i dont want to, even if its good. i dont want it to dull the memory of us. and i couldnt cope if it was better. i dont want anything to be better than us.
i abandoned my self respect so long ago, if i was a normal person i wouldve left her about two years ago when everything started crumbling

It's definitely over this time, she has made that clear. Is this your first serious relationship?

if u go somewhere no one knows who you are you can always start a new life when you think about it like that user

>im currently writing my suicide letter to the girl i love

Dont be such an ass.

If you're gonna be a massive selfish bitch and off yourself, don't involve anyone else.

Just shut the fuck up and do it, or get on with your life.

Shit man like a beaten woman. The same fucking thing. You have no respect for yourself. And you believe that this is the best the world has to offer because you have never looked outside of this.

I DONT KNOW. I KNOW. ITS SO TOXIC. THERES NO GOOD LEFT. ITS HELL. BUT I NEED HER. I CANT EXPLAIN IT. MAYBE IM JUST PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS PAIN BECASUE I THINK I DESERVE IT. i dont know, i cant dive deep enough into my emotions to identify reason. thesrs not enough definition in them its just a smear of pain and sandess and anger

but youre right thats just what its like. like im watching a shitty movie of my own life and im just stitting there letting it happen over and over and i cant get up to change the channel its like im paralysed

Dude what the fuck. If it was once good and is now bad, get the fuck outta there before it gets worse, so you at least have the good memories outweighing the bad ones.
If a girl is treating you so poorly that its leading to suicide, that's not good, and its so bad that it isn't going to get better.

Cut her the fuck out of your life.

You made a mistake not leaving, you can fix that now. 'Us' ended a while ago, you're you and you don't deserve to be treated like shit. You can hold onto the memories of pleasant times with her when you look back from the future but for fuck's sake that's already in your past now.

You're just going to feel sorry for yourself if you keep delaying breaking it off, do it (sober) and then throw yourself into a hobby or TV while you start the healing process. Takes a little time to recover but when you do, you'll join in with the people laughing at THIS version of you for being so suckered in by love and hormones.

If you're a Britbong then go to bed, get a few hours kip then message her in the morning. It's not a discussion, it's a statement from you. There is no 'us' any more, you are you and she is free to go slagging around without dragging you down.

i was expecting the onslaught haha. i just have to tell someone. im beyond caring about anything, what anyone thinks, myself, im just so broken now. i really appreciate everyone talking to me, thank you.

op here, thats fucking hilarious, thanks for making me smile

no this is my first time here in a while

You need her like a kid needs cancer.

Dude, you're really gonna go out like this? Not even asking this girl out? What do you have to lose? Please I'm begging you, don't do it, there is so much happiness, and I know that even if you see it, you can't see a path but please just find one, and live on.

There is no good left... in this. Get up and go take a look at yourself in a mirror. Look at how good you are.

yes. my only relationship tbh
wasnt interested in the highshool drama 2 week relationship bs so i just didnt bother.
iv know this girl since i was about 4 years old, went to the same playgroup or something. weve been in and out of eachothers lives till about 15/16 when we started talking properly and fell in love

...

I think I know what the moral dilemma here is:
This girl doesn't love you, she hasn't for a while now, you just can't bring yourself to realize that fact because you have such a deep connection to her that her not reciprocating that connection seems entirely out of the realm of possibility.
You are currently living in a world of fucked up delusion and until you truly realize that what is happening is not a broken girl who still loves you, and rather a sadistic, manipulative girl who hasn't loved you for a long time (no matter what she might say to the contrary); you will never be able to wake up from this nightmare and free yourself.

That's the spirit. You feel like shit NOW, it's a low point in your life for sure but just because you reach the end of a chapter it doesn't mean the book is finished.

You share the world with billions of people and as much as nihilism is currently trendy, life is interesting as fuck and for every arsehole you meet who makes you feel like shit, there's someone who helps make you feel happy. Not even talking about relationships, just people doing stuff.

Go look for something interesting and use the 80 or so years you have on this planet to do as much as you want.

im scared that id feel just as broken and lonely and out of place in life as i do now.
im scared that ill never feel im in the right place.
what if i go everywhere and im never ok. what do i do then. how awful would i feel then.
its easy doing nothing, its comforting just dreaming and doing nothing becasue theres no risk, you cant loose, and you cant go wrong.
im just being completly open and honest, thats probably what it is.
which is odd becasue im not really that kind of person. im a doer, but like i said my brain is fighting itself and trying to kill who i really am its just turning me into this pathetic whiny bitch who cant help himself and im wathcing it happen an its not who i am but for some reason i cant scream out and stop it happening

Then GET UP! Change that fucking channel. Holy shit instead of smashing that tv dead CHANGE THE FUCKING MOVIE.

if you cant live for yourself live for her, it'd break her heart if she found out how much she meant to someone who had fallen so far. Just remember that once at rock bottom the only way left is up user, we're here for you man don't forget that.

Just go sleep op... you'll feel better tomorrow

The first heartbreak is always the most painful but you'll sharp learn that getting over it is just something you do, like nursing a hangover. You feel like death and swear, "never again" but you soon ens up doing it again! lol

The thing is they wouldn't cover it because of how cucked our media is today

If you catch up on the thread you'll see she's a bit of a bitch actually. OP is taking control of his life for no one but himself because he's the shit.

how do i cope with her finding someone else?
the thought makes me feel so sick and angry. i would defiantly kill him if the situation presented itself.
im at the point now where i think i want to let her go, becasue this hurts too much now, but i cant ignore then fact that 'letting her go' means letting her go to someone else... and likely a lot sooner than any person would want.
i dont know how to process and cope with that

THIS

>scared of what happens afterwards

well it's going to happen eventually

Your movie is shit and you're worried the other ones might be bad?

>im not involving anyone else
>yes, but i still need to say goodbye to her
youre the dumbest motherucker out OP. If you need to say something do it in person. Writing a letter for someone to find after the fact is a horrible thing to do and you are a selfish idiot if you cant see that. Pathetic

If youre going to kill yourself, DONT write the fucking letter

Why not just rape her then, suicide is the worst option in this scenario. I mean c'mon there's so much you can do before you fuck off and die.

Holy shit you are not helping here op

stop being a faggot and get over her

By letting go

if you're willing to kill yourself, you're willing to move and change your life. You're willing to find love again. You're willing to travel to Tibet and become a monk.

You're willing to do anything, if you're willing to give up everything.

you
this

Im just trying to say that offing yourself is niggerly and im some guy on Sup Forums so take my kind words and fuck off, listen there's so much you can do, shake off that depressive fatigue and get to it. Your main obstacle is ignoring the mental blocks depression puts on you.

Dude I did just this yesterday. I changed my mind, but all day today I felt pain.

I want the pain to go away. I hate being conscious and the only time I’m okay is when I’m asleep. But I don’t want to die, not really. I just don’t want to feel these feelings anymore and I don’t know how’s to stop.

She's signing up to Tinder man, she's already let you go emotionally so you need to catch up. As much as she has no right to be stringing you along and treating you like shit, you don't own her either.

Honestly, it's something you learn to handle as you mature and I don't mean that as an insult.

i think so.
i think maybe even she doesnt know she doesnt love me. i think shes confused even herself by the things she does to me.
and by the way guys im no saint iv done some fucking shit to her that i regret so so much. im just gonna say it cos being open with you all is helping, but i went through a phase of being violent with her and physically abusing her.and i regret it so fucking much it makes me feel awful thinking about it. im a piece of shit.
but i can say that every thing bad iv even done to her was out of anger and pain and confusion and not knowing how to process the way she made me feel. iv just never understood why she does what she does while i love her so fucking hard and fully

you're going to kill yourself over this? lol ive been fucked over since birth and people ive known since kindergarten bullied me after being friends for many years. i almost died from a rare disease as a child and had to deal with this fucking mental disorder for my whole life and still am. besides, i went through the same shit before. there are more girls to fuck and more opportunities to snatch, i aint got time for this pussy bo shit. i manned up and so should you.

Let them go

She's not worth it

If you ever do consider doing it, write a general letter. Pay attention to those around you and remember that the first person that finds it might not even give it to her and if they do they have zero awareness of the situation.

You have to realize that the humans around you will focus on the fact that you died. Take the time to mention your own feelings of meaninglessness, make it actually something worth fucking reading.

no theyre kinda right. it would hurt her so much, i think. i just dont know for how long etc.
ik that if she died i would probably kill myself immediately and at the very lest id never even look at another girl.
i guess if theres the chance she might be just as hurt then i dont want to do that to her. ....i do have some doubts as to how deep she would take it though, she kind of emotionally vacant, it might just not register :/

ill sleep soon user

Don't write a fucking letter ffs
She's gonna be traumatized

Other anons have given you some great advice, so there is little for me to add.

OP, if what you say is true and you survive through your pain and your sadness and your loneliness, then you will become beautiful.

i feel u
x

>God, if you're going to write a suicide letter, at least make it decent reading material
>/lit/ does suicide notes