The dabber™, for when you have to make a big purchase but your managerial aptitudes are not up to par

the dabber™, for when you have to make a big purchase but your managerial aptitudes are not up to par

Other urls found in this thread:

whoscored.com/Regions/252/Tournaments/2/England-Premier-League
squawka.com/football-player-rankings
squawka.com/comparison-matrix#premier_league/2016/2017/eden_hazard/641/641/454/0/p|premier_league/2016/2017/jesse_lingard/641/641/3837/0/p#chances_created/key_passes/assists/pass_completion/total_shots/tackles_won/interceptions#90
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>le to intelligent fore passing man
>le to intelligent fore defending man
>le to intelligent fore set pieces man

whoscored.com/Regions/252/Tournaments/2/England-Premier-League

He is statistically the 3rd best player in the EPL this season and the best in his position.

Why are people saying he is crap? Can anyone explain?

>Why are people saying he is crap? Can anyone explain?
memes

because being the best in the premier league doesnt really mean much anymore.

>whoscored ratings

>the madman is already here

goodbye customers

So, do you post this kind of shit about Hazard as well?

Aren't you the autist that likes to post Squawka statistics?

Pogba is the 4th best EPL player according to their ranking.

O J Simpson also flopped in his first season at Buffalo Bills. Wait for another season.

He isn't even playing badly, if you watch the actual games, instead of reading what some Slovakian retard writes.

>So, do you post this kind of shit about Hazard as well?

>whoscored

not Pogshit, that's for sure

Loving this new ™meme lmao
Are we looking at the same table? He's 17th, and the score is massively inflated by "possession" category - meaning all the short forward passes he spams, but ultimately amount to nothing. His creativity is average at best, finishing/defending non-existent and workrate awful. On top of that, his mental strenght is at the level of 18 year old academy player. After two failed dribbles he gets frustrated and then is useless for the rest of the match.

squawka.com/football-player-rankings

the O.J™, for when the glove doesn't fit

>105 million
You need to use the per90min stat displaying for the comparison or chart to make any sense. Poobag has more minutes played than anyone else on the high positions because >mouyes is too much of a beta to drop him, like he should have been two months ago.

Ah. I see. You will temper with the stats until Pogba falls down on the ranking. Do you also handpick statistics to make him look worse?

>according to squawka, jesse lingard is the 15th best player in the premier league
>according to squawka, robles is the best keeper in the league
>according to squawka, ake is the best defender in the league

remind me why we take stats so seriously again

>patiently explain how the website should be used, and how to interpret the numbers
>f-fake stats!
Oh yeah, I also picked all the useless categories like assisting, chance-creating, shooting, passing accuracy, tackling, dribbling, fouling and duels. None of the essential midfield stuff

So Robles is shit now? Manure fans claimed he was channeling his inner Buffon yesterday :^)

he's alright but fuck me he's not the best keeper in the league

also noticed squawka thinks united are the best team in the league

Let's compare Eden Hazard and Jesse Lingard.

Pick per 90

Select Key Passes, Assists, Total Shots, Total Passes, Pass Completion

Wow, Lingard is better than Hazard.

t- Slovakian austist

Chances Created as well. Hey, you autist, is Lingard better than Hazard?

I did the same shit you did, handpicked statistics and that was the result.

Do they have a different Squawka in Brazil? Also I suspect you're the same guy I already explained to why he's doing it wrong, and three months later you're still clueless kek

squawka.com/comparison-matrix#premier_league/2016/2017/eden_hazard/641/641/454/0/p|premier_league/2016/2017/jesse_lingard/641/641/3837/0/p#chances_created/key_passes/assists/pass_completion/total_shots/tackles_won/interceptions#90

Doing the same shit you did when comparing Pogba do the others.

Wow, Lingard surely beats Hazard.

You are just intellectually dishonest and handpick statistics, in the case of Pogba.

>whoscored ratings

The total score is orientational at best, without breaking it down into relevant categories for respective position it doesn't say much. Still miles better than whoscored's ratings, but you need to take a closer look for it to have any value.
>united are the best team in the league
Possession and short passing, same reason why they believe Pogba is 17th best player in the league while in fact he definitely isn't top 25 PL material.

that says more about whoscore ratings than Pogba

highest key passes in the league too

Did you watch United's matches to say he is playing poorly or is this opinion based on the Slovakian austist?

So Lingaard is 0.21 (11%) better per 90min score at key passing, and 0.23 (9%) in chance creating. Now we can surely agree Lingaard is better, right?
Who cares about the remaining 8 essential categories for a winger, like the fact Hazard completes 4 (four) times as many dribbles as Lingaard. Or scores 4 (400%) times as many goals

the few games I watched he's been shit. In Redcafe, who watch every ManU game, fans aren't happy either and every post there is wishful thinking that he'll someday turn good

I don't know why a hue is so hell-bent in defending such an uninspiring foreign player

>if you think Pogba is shit it means you simply haven't WATCHED him play
Laughing my ass off! If anything, the stats flatter him massively and he appears shittier the more you watch of him

I didn't say Lingard is better than Hazard, you idiot.
I said that by being as dishonest as you are, Lingard can look better than Hazard.

*Obsession™*

Caused by the fact they can't finish for shit and the offensive organisation of play is rigid and outdated. The leading teams are much more likely to take the lead at some point so they can slow things down and don't push for a key pass all the time. Manure on the other hand are usually chasing a win (and falining) in closing minutes, meaning every desperate hoofball towards Ibra that connects is counted as a key pass.

>Lingaard can look better than Hazard
You said that, but unfortunately didn't back up with anything. Picking three categories to soothe your butthurt doesn't count, do you see anyone else doing that? It's usually 10 key stats for the position in question, sometimes I put 11 or 12.

When's the last time you made 5 dozen posts a day about Gareth Barry or Emre Can? You're fucking obsessed amigo.

>desperate hoofball towards Ibra

Despite the fact it never actually connects. The vast majority of Uniteds chances haven't come from hoofing it at all.

I quickly picked 7, without thinking too much.

Let's face it, you are dishonest and hand pick statistics.

Why would I? I discuss teams and players I'm interested in
Hard to determine which situation counts towards the key passing and which one does not. But it's a fact that Chelsea or City never attempt impotent besieging like Manure did against Everton or West Brom. Good teams either create chances and score eventually, or play at a lower gear not pushing for a win (City vs Arsenal). Manure TRY through balls, crosses, combinations and suck at everything.

The keyword being *essential*
>total shots
>tackles
>interceptions
>for creative wingers
>mfw
Only thing you're proving with these is your frustration.

Yeah Chelsea never tried 'impotent besieging' against Palace did they.

United create lots of chances from plenty of angles yet can't finish them. It's that simple.

And possession is not important for a center midfielder, I guess?

>vs CP
That's hardly what one would pick as standard 16/17 Chelsea match though, innit. While Manure drawing to relegation fodder is pretty much what everyone expects at this point.
>create lots of chances from plenty of angles
While the finishing is bad, you're right, the chances created most likely aren't of sufficient quality when NONE of them are being converted.

>replying to the slav

Have you seen the chances being wasted on a regular basis?

I guess you're talking about Poobag again, right? In his case, it's just the "forward passes completed" stat that increases his overall score. Now compare all that useless pass spamming to his key passes and chances created. Put in perspective, it's meaningless.

depends on their role. if they are playing deeper and recycling possession, then sure. but if you want them to create chances, then no it's not. lots of short sideways passes would increase your posession score but go against what was required. take a game against a team like burnley who park the bus. pogba could complete 200/200 passes, and get an amazing possession score. but 200 short passes with no tempo and no incisiveness would be an objectively bad thing to have

Just imagine the size of the slovak's IhateUnitedandPogba image folder. Just imagine it. Imagine being this obsessed with one team and one player.

Yes, but only rarely those chances wasted are 1on1 vs GK or similiar clear cut situations. Usually it's Zlatan shooting between two defenders closing him down and missing, someone hitting the bar from medium distance or a poorly aimed shot opposition's GK deals with.

He has almost the same number of key passes as Hazard.

And do you think "forward passes completed" are not important for a center midfielder?

jej

Just imagine the size of the slovak's IhateUnitedandPogba cock. Just imagine it. Imagine being this endowed with a bick and two balls.

I own a Pogba ManU shirt. That's all that really matters here.

Are you... agitated?

There's like two 1v1 chances wasted per game. Then there's horrendous misses that are easy tap ins that are either completely missed or aimed directly at the keeper. The chances are always there (apart from games like WBA at home where the players struggle against a parked bus), the players just can't apply the finishing touch. Especially with Mata injured.

>the face of red cafe

where'd you get those pictures of the slovak?

Too lewd dude! Gotta go soon, so you'll have to deal with these upset customers ITT yourself I'm afraid

Didn't Rashford lose two 1v1 chances last game?

>Hazard
>central playmaker

Amazing how much he fucks up 1v1s really. I'd rather he be an impact sub for now.

Wait, are you saying that key passes are not important for attacking midfielders and that center midfielders are supposed to beat them on this?

shouldn't be too hard

Really tho why are Manure and Liverslip fans always the most agitated while Chelsea are always laid back? I can understand Arsenal fans but christ

That would a legit excuse if it happened for a couple of games in a row, not constantly for majority of season now. The problem is deeper than just some missed tap-ins

Chelsea fans were pretty mad last season but in all honesty it's because they barely have any fans on Sup Forums and most people don't really care about them as much as the bigger teams. There are a lot of Arsenal fans too but they hide in their general.

>unironically being BAFFLED by the fact that a """playmaker""" like Pogdab is expected to have more key passes than a winger
user...
He's a loss in EL away from kysing himself, poor man

Well yeah it's a big worry. It has been happening all season. Back then it was all "bad luck" and "keepers having the game of their lives" but now that it happens on a regular basis it's got to be something more.

Big part of it is a lack of proper wide players to stretch defences, and not enough players running into the box to sneak in a rebound or cause general havoc to the defence.

because even when they lose, chelsea win

...

Neymar leads this statistic on the Spanish league.

lol

>whoscored
>muh stats

...

Too*

Who the FUCK can stop this madman?

He's literally the definition of a meme player.

He's truly the goat of Sup Forums

this and Koscielny was at the top of the list, and Hazzard had positive defending


ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Fuck off you little Slovakian cunt. Your country is just a fucking bus stop for refugees you little cunt so shut the fuck up, sit down and let me educate you.

Paul Pogba is a box to box midfielder. Therefore, his stats ideally need to create a perfect hexagon. There are 6 key stats for him

1. Goals scored
2. Assists
3. Tackles per game
4. Dribbles per game
5. Key passes per game
6. Fouled per game

Pogba goals scored - 4
Pogba assists - 3
Tackles per game - 1.8
Dribbles per game - 2.5
Key passes per game - 2
Fouled per game - 2.3

As you can see from the makeshift grafph these numbers are almost a perfect hexagon
He is almost a perfectly well rounded box to box central midfielder. If anything he scores too many goals. He should focus on scoring less and making more tackles to essentially be 'perfect' in his role.

Players like Kante tackle too much and can't focus on key passes
Fabregas gets too many assists and doesn't get fouled enough.

Its very simple. Maybe if your country didn't have a 90% agricultural economy like the povery fucks you are you'd understand balance and well roundedness (like the british economy)

prick

its too early for this shit lad

Do you even know where Slovakia is?

>pogba's box2box
kek you're high and drunk islander calm down

that is a nice hexagon lad