You are a group of adventurers looking for a hidden dungeon You're stuck with a gay gnome...

You are a group of adventurers looking for a hidden dungeon You're stuck with a gay gnome. Roll between 0-4 you let the gnome show you the way to the dungeon. 5-6 the gnome sits you down for 3 hours to observe his waifus that have been shrunk and put in tiny jars.

Ill bite.

Roll

The gnome takes you out of his home, you crawl gently through little holes as the moon glitters on his rosy cheeks. He takes you down a squishy road. Dexterity check! Odds for success, evens for failure.

I'm gonna die huh?

Rolling for failure via our inability to socialize

Your doubtfulness is overestimated by your dextrous skills!

The gnome chuckles at you and holds your sweet soft hand, looks into your eyes and says, "The wind is awfully mellow on a sheer night like this. Do you agree?"

Stutter yourself into an incredibly fucked conversation

Regardless of your sexuality, the gnome kisses you and says we are almost there and throws a floating light down the tree line until it disappears beyond a boulder. What do you do?

Clock the gnome in the back of the head with your anti gnome night stick while it's distracted by throwing the light. Proceed to loot the body and fuck off to the next town.

Roll odds for succession, evens for failure

Odds get

You willfully succeed and the gnome seizures on the ground violently.

On him you find: a waifu in a glass jar, a mysterious bag with an unknown powder in it, and 30 gold pieces.

You proceed to the next town and feel incredibly hungry and sleepy as you have traveled for 3 hours. The town is quiet but some teenagers walk around late and the old folks are happily slumbering.

What would you like to do?

Haggle the town Jew for the cheapest room available and release the waifu from her glass prison

The closest thing to a jew would be a high elf.

Roll odds for success and evens for failure.

And where do you release the waifu?

ROLL

changed our mind, keep her.

You release her in the room, after I get these odds of course

kiked

We keep her

I just meant let her out of the bottle, not out of our sight

The High Elf's jew like haggling skills are no match for your mere petty bargaining attempts for his room.

He laughs and says, "One room is 45 Gold for the night! We are well sophisticated folks here, you see"

Haggle with the Jew elf and trade the waifu in fge bottle for a free night and all the grog you can drink.

Tell him that we only have 12 gold, and would be willing to show the way to anew enchanted river for lodging

I guess we should. We can't see who it is
through the bottle?

nice going retard, now we have no waifu.

Convince the Jew elf to open the bottle

The High Elf, he... quivers his lips and says, "Well, aint this the most astonishing trade I have ever had. I agree to these conditions as long as you tell me, where did you get this waifu?"

The waifu immediately kills the Jew elf upon release

We uh, found it.
can you open the bottle?

(was this convincing enough?)

As convincing as a white stain in your sock you found while staying at your friends place for the night.

Because you rolled evens, the Jew angrily says, "I shall do no such thing dear sir! AS THIS WAIFU DESERVES THAN YOU HEATHENS. Nonetheless it is mine now and you have the room for the night. Goodnight gentlegenders."

Tell Jew elf to return our waifu or else well kick his ass

I find it funny that this was my fault...

We are never going to roll another odd because of you asshole.


ROLL FOR SMACKING THE WAIFU BOTTLE OUT OF THE JEWS HAND ON THE WAY OUT!

Evens, you failed. The jew is now hysterical as he has won a free waifu! He slams his bedroom and locks it to go to bed.

I roll my hand into a fist and whack the Jew elf upside his Jew head and take the bottle and bed him by force

As he enters his room you successfully whack the waifu jar out of his dirty jewy hands and she smashes on the floor. If odds, she is injured, evens she is okay just passed out.

The waifu decimates the Jew elf

SHES SAFE!

WHO IS IT?!

The 6 inch waifu screams and pleading for help as there is a shard of glass in her waist.

Whoever you are, you're not OP. I'm OP and original DM

R.I.P. Waifu

Waifu cries, "Please oh please save me! I need to get to my people to warn them!"

> (You)
>Whoever you are, you're not OP. I'm OP and original DM
I never claimed to be op, was just rolling for waifu to obliterate the Jew elf

My apologies dear adventurer, my disrespect for you will not go unnoticed.

Step on waifu

Is that honey-sempai????

Angrily with tears you try to stomp her, but due to your frustration and an angry jew, you missed and couldn't handle stomping such a precious thing.

No worries meng

Hail satan

The guy rolled that she was safe regardless how retarded his comment is fuck this guy

Op give yourself a name so we know who is who.

The waifu cowers in fear and tries pulling the shard out of her waist but your devillish appearance only frightens her more and fills her soul with weakness and she passes out. There she lays and you feel the room go cold as her last breath is expelled

Waifus dead mission complete

DUNGEON MASTER CAM

new name

Rolling for us reviving the waifu with our mystical nut

DUNGEON MASTER CAM
You attempt to do it but your nut merely slaps on her and the shard of glass also punctures your hole.

(EVENS ARE FAILURES)

Rip shit waifu

My double dubs don't cancel out cuz of the odd 9s?

I will tweak these rules another time for sure.

But everyone, the adventure must come to a halt, next time we will figure out, what happens after the unfortunate death of your dear Waifu?

Stay tuned next week!

I see all this unfolding by peering through my crystal ball.
I let out a strong kek

>gay gnome
>has waifus
This DM is fucking shit I'm out.