I'm a burglar

I'm a burglar.

I break into peoples houses and businesses and steal their stuff.

AMA.

What electronics are easiest to fence?

Cunt!

Nice

Do you ever worry about getting caught/shot?

Do you steal hamburgers?

Have you ever read this book? It was a little dry, but very interesting.

Rubble rubble!

How do you find a fence? Do you even bother or can you eBay the stuff these days?

How do you feel about working with dwarves?

This man is asking the important questions

Will you answer any of the questions, or is OP an irredeemable faggot?

>my sides

None really. Jewelry is the way to go.

Yes, and that makes me careful.

No.

The problem with ebay is that people recognise their stuff on there. I have a fence, she pays reasonably well and the stuff is shipped interstate to be sold.

They fit into a/c ducts :D

tell me about it

For a minute there, I thought you were talking about pic related....was going to recommend a hardware store

Does it have pictures?

>They fit into a/c ducts :D
Bad Santa reference?

can you get me sassafras oil? Ill pay you well

how long do you think it will take before you take a bullet in the head after a break in?

My nigga.

How hard is it to find a fence? Where would a burglar start looking for one?

Yep.

I actually work alone. You can't trust anyone. Not a partner, not your wife, not your kids, and definitely NOT another criminal.

are you a turd burglar?

are you an ass bandit

What is your full name and address?

Do you ever steal photographs or panties on your raids? Also in a hypothetical situation if you broke into a house and find another burglar inside who confronts you what would your next course of action be

+ does not have to share. no stress if he get caught

Do you do apartments, or houses? I've snuck around some at night, but never had the balls to ever break in despite knowing some werent locked.

What are you going to do when someone pulls out a shotgun and shoots you in the stomach then slowly tortures you until you die because you're a no good nigger?

How do ya do it?

So you dont care if you took a big jar of change that was to be a poor family's college fund for their kid

Dunno actually. I drive a lot for work. I listened to the audio version.

One day, you’re going to break into someone’s home, they will be armed, and you will be killed. You deserve it you thieving piece of shit.

OP is larping.

But you can trust a website that has been known to be a honeypot and monitored by numerous government agencies

This seems true

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

How much observation do you do before your typical job?

It depends on how cute the homeowner is

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

LARPers LARPing LARPers

How to stop you? Like what houses do you go for. Vs those you walk away from.

It hasn't happened yet, and unlikely to. Breaking in WHILE someone is there is a bad move.

Individually owned pawn shops are a good place to start. I started by selling some of my own shit around the place, and some smaller, less distinctive pieces I'd picked up. I got a sense for who was by the book, who was a little crooked, and who was a lot crooked. I picked the little crooked, and gradually increased my volume. I figured way crooked would be watched by police.

, No

Count Victor C Robbington of No Fixed Abode.

No. And for me I'd let him have the house and walk away.

Exactly.

Houses are usually better scores, but apartments are easier to get in an out. Houses need to be planned. You need to know routine, understand that the uncut grass for a week means they're away. Apartments are more opportunity, no so obvious walking around as people don't know you're a stranger, easier to get into the building, but also harder to know if THAT particular apartment is empty.

Be very fucking surprised.

Fuck, do you have ANY idea how had it would be to get away with a jar of change???


No

Quiet shill

I like waffles

Shilling for?

so like, do you sneak into stores at night? five-finger discounts all day long? how do you select house targets? you use lockpicks or any fancy stuff? I get you can't give too much on this next one but, how did you find your fence? I mean weed I just ask around, sure, but i've never understood how one would find these well connected black market types

are there any houses you wouldn't steal from? besides houses without anything valuable obviously

Why do you steal past your immeadiate needs. How do you rationalize it. Are you black.

Too bad my undercut grass for a week just means I'm lazy and don't give a fuck. See ya soon

Don't try to hide it, i know you're in the theives guild.

Would you rather be shot with a .22 rifle, a shotgun with 00 buck, an AR with .556, or a 9mm pistol?

leetget acknowleged

Do you take large cock in your ass for prep now since its going to happen after you get sentenced to 50 years in prison?

Thats pretty interesting. How do you go about breaking in, if all the doors and windows are locked? Do you pick the lock somehow, or hope theyre unlocked?

What is your thieving lvl. Have you ever stolen a girls heart

OP what was your most profitable steal? Or the most expensive shit you stole

The 22 is going to be more satisfying

How do I break in? How do I sell? How do I avoid being caught? Can you be more specific?

I get to know a particular neighborhood or building. If house, watch driveways for cars, and lights on at night, TVs on, uncollected mail, security lights. Usually watch for a few nights, find the most likely target, then hit.

Apartments, watch people leaving, watch returning and what apartment mailbox they collect from. When they leave to go to work, any other noises indicating other people home once they've gone.

Houses with a dog are an immediate walkout. Cameras also a no-no. Security alarms aren't so bad. Screens on windows aren't a concern since I mostly pick locks on doors. Properties owned by childless married couples who both work can be lucrative.

I do it because I find it fun. I'm not black, I don't NEED the money, but I enjoy having an income stream that no-one else knows about.

Fun why? I'm not sure I understand. When did you start.

What is the best day and time to rob houses, apartments and businesses?

How close have you come to getting caught?

They say they do a lot of damage bouncing around off bones insides, tearing through tissue.

This cocky fuck is going to get a little too full of himself and make a nice target practice for someone.

I fucking hate thieves.

What is the weirdest most fucked up thing you've seen in someone's place while theiving?

Easiest way to get into the business?

Anybody here got ideas on decent booby traps where you can live in the house then set it up when you're gone?

I actually like this thread, please keep answering, OP.

I broke into cars a few times since people are to stupid to lock them. Or maybe to naiv. Got myself some neat stuff. But most of the times there is nothing. Stopped doing that shit though after i turned 21. I play the cyber game now.

The most expensive was this bracelet. It was silver, large links, with alternating diamonds and emeralds. My fence is a bit of a jewelry nut. The fucking thing was over a hundred years old. It was worth over $250k as it was, but it was so distinctive we couldn't sell it as a whole piece and would have to break it down into individual stones which wouldn't be worth nearly as much.

I ended up sending it back. It must've been an heirloom or something.

I don't have a record. Well, I actually do, but not for burglary. If I do get caught I won't be going away for 50 years.

I've always loved picking locks. I got into the locksports game when I was a teenager. People thought it was impressive that I could break them into their cars and houses when they'd locked themselves out rather than need a locksmith. It went from there. It's a thrill to be in someone elses house without them knowing.

There's no hard and fast rule. Generally by night, since darkness and all, but other people are more likely to be home at night. It depends on your target. Unfortunally, some of that comes down to a gut feeling.

I was inside a house about 3am when I heard sirens converging. I thought I'd tripped a silent alarm or missed someone who'd called the police. There was an almighty crash out the front. Felt gone for sure.

Turns out police were chasing a drunk driver who'd smashed into a pole out the front. I hung around with the neighborhood rubberneckers for a few minutes then walked away. I'd ditched by lockpicks by then.

Some people have awfully large sex toy collections. One guy was keeping his fingernail clippings in urine sample containers. Had a bedside table full of them.

how you control the noise? how you know when to run?
what kind of things you steal?
how you scare people into submission?

You sent it back?

You talk too much. Your careers going to end badly, you'll end up in 1 of 2 types of boxes. Have fun.

have you ever had anyone walk in on you robbing a place?

Picking locks is the easiest way to go. Smashing a window is quick, but loud and obvious. I like to think that some of my targets haven't even realised they'd been burgled.

People have gone to prison for doing that. Plus, you're more likely to kill yourself with your booby trap than a burglar.

I'm walking quietly through an empty house. I use a very low powered light so that it can't be seen through windows etc. I don't smash things. I focus on bedrooms. I haven't had to scare anyone yet, but I figure that I know I'm in the house, where as they might think that I'm in the house, so I have the advantage. If I hear something from upstairs or from another room I leave.

Yeah. It was worth more to them than it was to me.

I talk on an user board so I don't talk to actual people.

Can you give us your address?

any advice on how to start with lockpicking? always wanted to try it but never knew how to start.

this

i assume you have a day job for cover, what do you do? does it provide any benefits for your burgling?

what would you do in case you get confronted?
like getting cought by a person inside a house

what are the most usual places people have good stuff? like money or expensive shit

How can someone feasibly stay safe from a guy like you?

I'm sure it would be easy to stay out of prison for. Especially if it was something like a locked but gun rigged safe.

Speaking of, you do safes?

What kind of neighborhoods are the best to rob and why?

What is something valuable that you can't sell?

already asked and posted, read fella

He is just a nigger. They only know how to steal simple shit.

It's not as anonymous as you think. I can already tell what type of area you work in just by listening to you running your mouth. That's not even half of your concern though. They'll build a case on you. Your job isn't "cool", if you want to brag about it, get a lawyer on retainer and tell him. You're just inspiring idiots.

And I mean tell your lawyer if you even make it to prison before someone else gets you.

Fuck outta here moralfag. Go be a redhat somewhere else.

Oooooh watch out guys! We've got ourselves a csi fan here.

>describes houses and apartments
>"careful user. I know that you work in an area with houses and apartments."
>RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Have you ever been caught?

Can you describe your average day of work?

Where do you fence your goods/ how did you get into this line of work?

I'm not being moralfag. I don't give a shit about OP or the places he hits. I'm just telling him he's an idiot.

No.

185 No Fixed Abode

Start reading up on the theory. Internet is full of it. Understand how the locks work so that you can picture the pins and springs in your mind while you're working at it. Raking the locks is quick, but it's better to learn how to pick the individual pins before moving onto raking, since you'll have a better idea of torque tension and not bind the pins as much. Listen and feel the pins click and the drum twitch as you hit the shear line. An electric lockpick is handy, but a dead giveaway if the police search you, and it's bulky. A small lockpit set with one or two rakes and a torsion bar made from stainless spring steel can be concealed in a jacket hem.

No benefits apart from respectability.

I'd run like fuck.

Bedrooms for jewelry, check sock and underpants drawers for cash stash.

No, safe cracking isn't my speciality. I like getting in and out quickly. Cracking a safe takes time, or takes a team to pull it out.

So then tell me what area I work in, mentalist. Share your secret knowledge with us all.

ever steal a sword?

your an idiot

how long have you been doing this? ballpark if you don't wanna give away your age. also, what's your normie job?

Anyone on this board can guess this idiot lives in a big city and he already said what he works with. Not trying to sound CSI at all. People can put 2 and 2 together, pigs can do it even better. Hope you don't rob the wrong Sup Forumstard.

Don't drop the soap.

>respectability
lol'd

god damn it i love this reading this shit. well-thought out banditry with a hint of a moral compass? this is like some classic novel shit, which i fucking dig. you must be charismatic as fuck op, kudos. i mean this in the sincerest way possible.

Oh gee a city. That narrows it. Only 5 billion people living in those.

Stop being gay